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Monday, November 28th, 2005
| Time | Event |
| 12:02a | *This Is What You Want, And I'm Sorry But I Can't Do It.* This is a list of things my mom wants me to be, or have become by January 8th 2006. By January 8th You need to have applied for Vet Tech School. If you are accepted you will start school in September. Which means you must have a full time job, or two part time jobs untill you go to school. If you are not accepted, you need to have a second school plan in place. I will never be enough for this women, never! I can never have done something, that everyone else around me says is awsome. Cause she will always say "I want something better." I WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU WILL I? AND I GUESS IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT WHAT YOU WANT SO BADLY FOR ME, IS TEARING ME INTO NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate you... Current Mood:  crazyCurrent Music: *TAWP* |
| 6:43p | "The women began scratching at their necks with their fingernails until they broke skin. You could see how the pain was giving them comfort, how the blood quieted even the most crazed of them." - The Tattoo Artist by Jill Ciment |
| 6:44p | life needs to f*ck itself hard up the ass |
| 9:42p | Yes...I finally caved after almost 3 months of not cutting...Sadly the only razors I had were dullish so I couldn't go seriously deep like I wanted...Only 2 semi deep cuts...but I wasn't satisfied...I kind of carved the word "die" into my thigh near the only cuts..I would have done more but my laptop was dying ( was in the bathroom ...is the only door with a lock on it) so I figured I'd done enough...Dani had told me to give myself a limit...(last time I'd done over 30) so I said 5...I think if I had kept going I'd have gone over my limit.*sigh* Good laptop. Good for having such a horrible battery life... Anyhow...somewhere during the cutting time Myka Imed me...(for those who are saying "and who the fuck is that?" is my ex)...he told me Lucy...the new gf had been cheating on him the whole time...*Arches a brow*...I always thought if I'd found out she'd fucked him over I'd laugh...*shrug* Just didn't feel worth it...Whatever I suppose...Although if I tell mum she'll fall over laughing saying I told you so!.. Ah speaking of mum..She came home to find me on her computer...which she totally flipped out about...at one point she told me never to talk to her again...then she got mad when I didn't? *jaw drops* MAKE SOME SENSE WOMAN!...anyhow...later on...we were still kind of grring at eachother I went outside to smoke and brought my laptop with me and turned on my radio thingie...song was "puke" by Eminem ...So it had swears in it...She FREAKED OUT...so I closed the door...she yelled at me to turn it off...I said no...I was outside and I had closed the door...why should I turn it off..So you know what she does? She locks the door and says "fine..stay out there. You're not coming back into my house"...One bedroom aparment isn't a house man...Anyhow...I was standing there with no shoes on and no jacket and it was RAINING...not nice warm rain...the evil icy rain..I wasn't worried though...See I usually leave my window unlocked...so I just walked over there and popped out the screen...threw my laptop on my bed and climbed in...Dumb woman...then she looks at me when I walk in the room and says "I can't my speakers to work...fix it" *jaw drops* I looked at her and said "bite me" in a sing song voice...ha...I finally fixed her speakers after a while...and NO she didn't say sorry for locking me out... God damn...today is NOT my day... You can forget what I said about Bob...I'm sure he'll make a nice friend and thats it...*shakes head* Current Mood:  lonelyCurrent Music: |
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