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Thursday, November 24th, 2005
| Time | Event |
| 12:00a | hi! im new. my names wendy ive been cutting on and of for about three years now and i dont know who i can turn to so i thought why not share your problems with complete strangers? the last time i cut was like two days ago i found out that this guy that told me he loved me and cared for me (his friends told me that he was going to ask me out but he wasnt sure if i'd say yes) asked out this, well...theres no better way to say it whore so yeah it was stupid of me to cut i hadn't for about a week and i was proud of that but when i found out i dunno...i guess that im just so sick of people hurting me that hurting myself seems like a better idea |
| 1:00a | *Happy ThanksGiving* Well ThanksGiving is tomorrow...today. And I wanted to wish everyone I happy and safe HoliDay. I am not feeling to bad myself. My 19th Birthday is on Friday! So I am really happy, and looking forward to that! It's cool this year cause every time me B-Day is on Friday, I say that my B-Day is going on for three days. The whole weekend, ya stupid I know. But it makes me feel special, not like any one else will. I am not totally happy tho, I cutt 19 lines in my arms tonight. I did right before I upated in here. I was kinda mad at myself for doing it, but...I don't know. The lines are bad, I will need more stiches. My sister and brother said they would drive me, without telling my mom. Whew, thank goodness for them. Alright, well that's all right now, hope you all have aswome ThanksGivings! Be safe, and hope you are all feeling better too. Current Mood:  creativeCurrent Music: *SlipKnot* |
| 9:30a | Bleed me beautiful http://www.myspace.com/lets_compare_scars_ hey my loves. please come be my friend on myspace. i really want to keep in touch with all of you more . . than just blurtyy!! pleasee thanks lovesss. i dont care who you are and if i have never talked to you i still want to !! ♥ ♥ Carissa p.s hope everyone is doing okay. . i have been okay for a day now! Current Mood:  annoyed |
| 5:56p | you bring me to my knees it's snowing outside my window right now ... it's been snowing all day, like a blizzard. today i froze my ass off at the junior football game at Laurier University .... erin and i painted our face half red and half white. we definitly were all decked out; three pairs of pants, two pairs of underwear, four shirts, a jacket, three pairs of gloves and two pairs of socks ... i was freaking cold though. we lost :( but that's okay, it was still fun. i have no more voice from screaming and cheering. hopefully it will come back soon though, because i'm going to carolyn's bball game tonight ... ropsaa baby! woo i haven't really had much of an urge to cut lately. i'm hoping i wont ever again. i don't miss it like i thought i would, but it's only been three weeks. i'm sure i'll feel like doing it sometime soon. tomorrow i go and volunteer at this big christmas party in Toronto for under privaledged kids. i did it last year, i just love the feeling of making someone else feel good. i wish i felt good. i feel like im just acting like i'm fine. i don't feel it deep inside of me, i feel empty and fake ... but maybe i have to fake myself to be happy, before i actually am for real. i only hope. "i can see through you, see your true colours. 'cause inside you're ugly, ugly like me. i can see through you, i can see the real you." i just have this urge to write, but i have nothing to write about. it seems like i've just been mumbling on about nothing these past few weeks. Infatuation is a strange thing. A bony creature thin with feeding on itself. It is addicted not to its subject, but to its own vain hunger And needs but a pretty face to fuel its rampant imagination. It's humid couch and sweaty palms. It's fleshy carpets ablaze with conquest. But when conquering is complete, the blood leaves its limbs and it becomes disenchanted. Disappointed even to the point of disgust with its subject, who sits then, like a hollow trunk, emptied of its precious cargo and left to fade like defeated naval ships. A seed relieved of its transparent husk, to dissolve finally on a rough and impatient tongue maybe i was just kidding myself with all of this. i wish it wasn't true. i want this to be real, you have no idea. i lost it though, like i lose everything. some things are just not worth having, but i swear this one was. Current Mood:  drained |
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