!5 (SaVe us from the PaIn)'s Blurty

poems for you...who even reads them?
so tiny
sho sharp
so shiny
so dark

my best friend
helps me mend
and with the blade
i have made
my favorite part
of the day

slides in deep
go to sleep
wake up red
almost dead

my wounds are crying
but my mind is flying
it gets me high
up past the sky

im all alone
they're all gone
no ones here to see
what i havw done

no one cares, why should i?
who would be in pain if i died?
i am nothing and worthless
my conflicts are deep and helpless

(okay that one was lame but i was drunk, bear with me. lol. here are a few more)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I cant seem to get this out of my head
all the words i know you shouldve said
and all the thoughts that are going through your mind
will eventually slip over time.
and i'll be left alone
and you'll be long gone
with my lif in your hands
you wont think twice about it
but all i do is think about this shit
you'll turn into everyone else
and leave me hurt and faithless
knowing that you were the last one to go, the last one to care
ater everything i told you
everything i shared
ive pushed everyone i know away
i hate myself for it everyday
and i know you the next to go
i wish i could tell you this
but i know i wont
i dont think youd understand
i dont even think i can
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
she screamed at the top of her lungs
but no one chose to hear
her lonliness was constant
and no one knew her fear

her fear of dark places
the ones inside her head
her fear that if this shit dont stop
one day she might be dead

she chose to express these fears
with the blood that ran through her veins
the blood that seemed so sweet
that understood her pain

on day she cut to deep
and bled out her whole life
the useless life she chose to end
with a fucking kitchen knife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the light shines off the silver
as the knife slides down her arm
its not hard to see the message
of this poor girls self harm
shes tainted and she twisted
two things she hates the most
and on these sleepless nights she lays there
haunted by a ghost
the ghost of worthless feelings
and self inflicted pain
she lies there for hours
for reasons she cant explain

all ive been doing lately is cutting. i swear, my legs are so scarred up just from the past week, i dont think i'll ever wear shorts again. ive been really confused lately on weather or not i want to go back to my old school or stay where i am. i dont know what to do, i want to be at both of them. i have people at both schools, friends at both schools and everything. but i think im going to stay where i am, just because im a senior and i only have 8 months left. i mean if i was a sophomore or even a junior i think i would go back but i might as well stay.
my teacher left on friday. it was her last day. ugh i got really upset about it and i even cried a little which im ashamed about, but whatever. i dont know. she listened to me. thats all. thats all i want. is someone to listen and care. shes the only one who knew. bahhhh ok im doneeeeeeeee

well i hope everythings well with all of you.
-becki

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: death cab for cutie "i will follow you into the dark"