!5 (SaVe us from the PaIn)'s Blurty

ok yesterday i went to a music 'convention' thing with my school. i was the happiest i'd been in ages apart from on the way back on the coach me and my friend were sat at the front near the teachers and i was wearing a 3/4 length sleeved top and i was holding my hoodie over me except my music teacher ended up seeing the safety pins in my arm and asked me 'didn't that hurt?' i think she knows i cut and i think she realised that i didn't like her saying that to me, but i just kinda turned away from her and ignored it. then my friend started talking to me about my therapy, deep cuts, going to hospital and stuff like that and i ended up crying on the coach but i dunno if the teachers noticed, i hope not, and i hope they weren't listening to our conversation.
when i got home i just had the most overwhelming urge to cut and maybe even lie in the bath so i could bleed to death.
this really scared me cos the rest of my family went out and i didn't know why i felt so bad.
luckily i was so tired from the day that i fell asleep before i could.

meh sorry for this pointless post... just wondered if anyone understood why i had that really bad urge...

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: travis-sing