[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends View]
Monday, October 24th, 2005
| Time | Event |
| 10:46a | http://www.blurty.com/users/emosucks Soo girls and boys. i have just discovered the most hypocritical rude just obseen. journal/blurty. there like degrating people that have problems seriosally like there perfect and dont cry and dont have heartbreak or anything . . . and making fun of people that cut and stuff saying they all are homo's and like having people be obsessed with themselves. and just wow i was just truly like pist when i saw this i mean if you have a problem with a certain people you dont have to be soo stupid about it . . truly get over yourselfs. you dont know us!! http://www.blurty.com/users/emosucks - just thought i would embrass you dolls with this knowledge!! lol ♥ Hope everyone is doing alright!! |
| 4:11p | *Here I go, doing the same old shit, again* Ok...well like I've said before...I'm a gonner. I can't do this...there is no way around it...after dinner lastnight...I went through my whole phone book...and cutt every bodys name...in my arm...some didnt really fit...but hey I tried...thats over...(counts on arm)...35...peoples names...on....my arms...So I'm not doing well...how are the rest of you doing?...well enough to not be....in the same boat as me...I hope...keep going...everyone... Current Mood:  angryCurrent Music: *The Heratic Anthem* |
| 5:51p | why do i feel so sorry? well i screwed myself over just a little bit more. ... it seems i'm really good at that. i dont even remember what happened and how it played out. i just remember hearing my mom walking up the stairs so i called her name three times and she walked in my room. all i heard was, "oh my god dani! oh my god!" ... i sat there with the blood dripping from my wrists and said "i think i need to go back to the hospital." i overdosed on all my meds and thats most of the reason i dont remember much of that night. i wasnt even feeling suicidal that day. i was going to bed and i looked at my cd player and thought "music or cutting?" so i got out my blade and started cutting. i dont even know what the hell i was thinking when i took all those pills. i didnt want to, i just want to be happy you know. its been raining here non-stop for about 3 weeks....i need some sunshine. i wrote a bunch of things when i was in the hospital...well i'm still there, just on a leave of absense for a couple of hours. i'll post everything when i get home. ((if you're reading this...i'm better now)) Current Mood:  calm |
| 8:58p | GOD DAMMIT EHH I cut3 times and then i carved in " I <3 " i loved it but 'she' got worried and disapointed when i told her i still cut and showed her my arm .. she almost started crying and hugged me at least i know she cares Love Krista Current Mood:  cold |
| 9:50p | hey electric rain catapults from static clouds to bounce off of the pavement i can hear your heart beating above the traffic a rainbow of turning signals and headlights illuminates your eyes i am mesmerized by the drops of moisture collecting in your eyelashes midnight dew drops sparkle sparkle Entwine your fingers with mine and i'll warm you up the autumn chill can never get to us we're invincible you'd like to think that you were invincible, yeah, well, weren't we all once? [and then i fell in love for the first time and somewhere on the way down, i cracked a rib and punctured my heart this congealed blood weighs me down, clinging to my wrists my thighs im so blatantly fucked up, it's written on my skin maybe that's why everything went to hell why did everything go to hell... i mean, other than the fact that i always does it always does] hill after hill, we move towards our destination we can anticipate being alone the distance seems so painful time seems to linger on, an unwelcome visitor we linger in the moment savour this, we may never be here again. lay your head down beside mine, listen to electric rain hitting the pavement drown out the spitter spatter with whispers in my ear and i'll warm you up for the last time. ive been on a cutting binge. ha. good times. when i wake up, before i go to bed. its mostly because i get just overwhelmed with this feeling of total self disgust. i hate myself so intensly at times that i have to hurt myself, to make myself bleed. i dont even feel better afterwards. just like i wish i could think of some harsher punishment. argh. im so alone. so frustrated. so angry. so hurt. so sad. so depressed. so empty. so horrible. so so horrible. at least ive been writing like mad. at least there's always smoking weed and reading novels. at least there's always daydreams. where i pretend that im somewhere else, making love to a beautiful girl, blowing smoke rings towards the ceiling, frolicking in the sunshine, running through a field, playing guitar, doing anything, anything where im happy and i dont have two hundred scars all over me i dont have those marks that give me away to everyone right away or those urges to make those marks gah. when is this over. Current Mood: depressed |
| << Previous Day |
2005/10/24 [Calendar] |
Next Day >> |