!5 (SaVe us from the PaIn)'s Blurty
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Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
| Time |
Event |
| 12:09a |
Newbie here
Hello. My name is Scarlytte. People calls me Scars becuase it happens to be shorter. Awkward isn't it? Anyways, for basic information I've cut for over four years. I have about 400 major scars and a lot more minor scratched scars. Recently two of my best friends died. One year and one month ago my best friend, my older brother, died. Both were car accidents. When my brother died I went numb. Drunk for almost two weeks straight, and scars deep enough to rival Roman gladiators. I got thrown into the hospital becuase my mom found me outside almost frozen bleeding on her porch walkway. Now this year i havent even cried. My girlfriend, who I have been with for far over a year, helped me stop cutting and i did great for a long time. Now she is busy crying about these two friends of ours. The funeral is Thursday and I still dont think I'll cry. I have a tendency not to cry at funerals. I kinda smile and think of better times. Ive gotten four new scars of this. the deep kind. I dont have a fear of pain. it excites me and i used to find myself addicted to it. but i digress, I'm just here for a little extra help, I've got problems and i know it. Thank you for your time. | | 7:45a |
Ugggggggggggh*
Why is it that the littlest things make me want to cut??
- Getting screamed at by my dad for not putting
my dirty clothes downstairs. Is pathetic
but my dad is by far the scariest person
on this EARTH!!!
i think i just want to cut the urge is just
pushing and urging me on to just have the cold
feeling of the blood dripping down my leg and it never
ending . i dont know it just seems Amazing right now!!!
♥ | | 5:03p |
So it was my birthday yesterday...yay...*sight*
The first time without my family..only my parents. The first time without my dutch friends...Just with people I hardly know.
I dunno..for the first time ever I didnt feel like it was my birthday at all...As if it was just a normal day as ever...
The only thing that was different was that I got a new phone from my parents.
The rest of the day was the same as always, got to school, was the middlepoint again of jokes and being made fun off...
People laughing about how funny I look and stuff...
God how I hate that...
Hopefully it'll feel a lil more like it is my bday on saturday cause then people are gonna break down my house...I think u call those parties;-)
Hows everyone doing? Hope ur hanging on there...
love, iensjj | | 5:43p |
My heart goes out to you all!
i love you!
if you ever need anyone to tlak to, i'm here!
umm just a lil ? of advice please!!
I had a boyfriend who made me feel like shit, and so i cut. a lot.
now, couple months later
i have a new boyfriend. he seems like he really cares, i know he does, he treats me much better than the old one did. he knows that i got upset a lot with my old boyfriend. he wants to know why i was soo upset with my old boyfriend, like what he made me do. why he made me so sad. do i tell him?
my friend used to cut as well. he found out *this was like 6 months ago that he found out* he didn't freak on her, just said he was worried or soemthing like that
i'm still lost
we just started dating, i feel like i should wait, or do i not tell him at all?
thanks in advance!
my heart is with you all!!
♥ Heather | | 10:56p |
nevermind |
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