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Friday, December 17th, 2004
| Time | Event |
| 7:27a | *thank you so much* i wanted to thank three people who came here and said i was welcome thank you. im glad i found other people who also do the same thing as me. i wanted to say so far i let me cutts heal, but then out of rage and sadness i cutt agin. i think becasue i did stop for a while that i forgot how good it felt. but i didnt do them so deep before, and now there getting deeper and deeper. i was wondering if that was a bad thing or not? i would think not untill it would get so bad that i would be getting rid of a ton o blood. but i dont understand why everyone has to hate me for doing it. or are mad at me for doing it. it's like they dont understand me at all. i mean who does right? im fucking crazy! i dont know what putting me in the looney bin is gona do or makeing me talk to someone who does not know me at all. but im glad i can talk to people on here about it. i'll be sure and update everyday! thats about how decated i am to this. my one and only home. thanks to all for letting me be welcome here. means alot. *hugs* *CTC* Current Mood:  lovedCurrent Music: *SK3* |
| 8:24a | *hey sorry to bother you all again* ok i know i can update as much as i want when ever i want. but i feel bad doing it two days in a row. but um i have a ? for you all here. i was wondering what kid of things you guys use to cutt? i bein sick and fucked up use a can opener lid to a can of corn by the way! and i was wondering what else other people use. i know it's really none of by deal but i was only wondering for the hell of it. thanks! *CTC* Current Mood:  accomplishedCurrent Music: *DG* |
| 9:36a | okay maybe i m wrong.. but i thought this kind of community was for support |
| 9:44a | So yesterday i was online to trade in my books at my college and my friend texts me and is like i got some acid. It was great so i got some acid on sugar cubes im not really sure but how are you gonna kno until you try. I was told it was from maryland. so anyone out there in computer land from maryland and try to acid. LOL I have never done the sugar cube thing its gonna be something else im sure. Its just really hard to sit in a room with it and not pop it. I love acid its deff my favorite. Current Mood: excited |
| 9:51a | I so posted in the wrong thing, im sorry everyone for that little bit about my drugs |
| 11:58a | i dont know Hmm sittin here with my best friends =-) yayy,, haha.. i have strep throat , UgH- welp i just figured i would update..... dont really have much to say.. hope all is well for everyone else! Love, Megan! =-) Oh yeah, and Brittany, Stephen, and Josh Current Mood: amused |
| 1:09p | Hey im new i have been cutting for 4 years now. I am hella confused klife is confusing my boyfriends being an ass my parents dont want to deal with me. How do u guys get through. |
| 1:11p | Hey im new i have been cutting for 4 years now. I am hella confused klife is confusing my boyfriends being an ass my parents dont want to deal with me. How do u guys get through. |
| 2:17p | New advanced Headache I've decided (after checking out the psyke.org website..) that I don't even compare to some SI-ers out there. I honestly thought I was bad... Now I know. It was so crazy reading some of those stories, and looking at those pictures.- Part of me wanted to cut, and the other part never wanted to again. It was so wierd. |
| 4:11p | well i havent updated in a long time... ive been haveing a hard time...everythings going wrong... i was in the shower...and shaveing and i kept cutting myself...i wasnt even meaning to...and i couldnt stop shakeing. I was hearing voices and seeing things... idk im just reall messed up right now and nothing is helping Current Mood:  scared |
| 6:22p | I want to escape from this hellview Sometimes I feel like I'm drifting away from everyone, its like I'm on the outside of my body watching everyone. I'm invisable if I dont talk or move at school. Everyone is always doing something and I'm just stuck at home, stuck with a family who is not happy and just loves to yell. Is it wrong to feel left out of everything? Because I do...ever since I went back to public school last year, I feel as if I don't fit in and I dont have any real true friends. Adam is like my best friend, but he's also my boyfriend. What I mean is I don't have any friends that are just friends... It's friday nyght and I feel so alone, no one will talk to me not that I can blame them....would you? Look at me, so pathetic it hurts me inside, I just want it all to go away. Please take it all away. Adam deserves someone better then me, someone who doesn't have any problems, someone who doesn't try to act happy, someone who is not me... I'm so sorry everyone..... Current Mood: distant Current Music: CKY- Escape from Hellview |
| 7:02p | ugh my mom is just UGH she just tries to get into fights wiht me...i swear....i think sometimes life would be sooo much easier wihtout her.... but then again id have no one to take care of me if she was gone so scrath that thought...my stepdad? HAHA ya hed try to kill me again anyways i called this girl and asked if she needed a ride tho this xmas party we have to go to , and she said yes...and considering i dont have a car and my mom has to take me to this partyu SHe has to go get her....and idk she SCREAMeD atr me for it...which like 2 hours ago we got into a discussion about this girl and my mom said if she EVER needs a ride anywhere or anyhitng that she would gladly go get her....(she has no friends, she was born wihtout fingers on her right hand, and she livves in a trailer park) so no one likes her....so my mom feeels bad for her cuz shes always alone cuz th ey are poor and her moms always working...and then when i TY to be nice to someone i GEt in trouble PATHETIc...anyways off to my party...later all j nicole Current Mood:  contentCurrent Music: as you sleep.....something crporate |
| 8:51p | |
| 8:59p | |
| 9:27p | my dad beat the shit out of me.. once again.. i'm fuckign serious.. its not worth it.. i sliced up my arm, my leg and ankle.. like i say i'm gonna stop.. but i guess i don't try.. i dunno.. i know i'm gonna do some crazy pills tonight.. so *salute*.. i like how razor cuts bleed. its different i guess.. i'm surprised that i haven't gotten accused of cuttign at school.. cause the freakishly happy people have gotten accused.. but not me..? i just find it weird is all.. i gotta go.. bye |
| 11:43p | "Razorblade Kiss" - H . I . M I taste death in every kiss we share Every sundown seems to be the last we have Your breath on my skin has the scent of our end I'm drunk on your tears, Baby, can't you see it's hurting Mmhhh mmmhhhh Every time we touch we get closer to heaven And at every sunrise our sins are forgiven Uh.uh You on my skin this must be the end The only way you can love me ist to hurt me again And again And again And again Your love is a razorblade kiss Sweetest is the taste from your lips Your love is a razorblade kiss Sweetest is the taste from your lips Oh the taste from your lips, my Darling Taste from your lips, oh my Love Only inside I'm free I'm tired of waiting You've got to let me dream Inside Baby I'm not afraid to feel I want your to love me Cause you are the one Cause you are the one Cause you are the one Your love is a razorblade kiss Sweetest is the taste from your lips Your love is a razorblade kiss Sweetest is the taste from your lips Your love is a razorblade kiss Sweetest is the taste from your lips Your love is a razorblade kiss Sweetest is the taste from your lips -- yeah.. i love this song.. nd i just found the lyrics and i thought id post them because i guess you guys could relate?.. well.. stay strong.. <33 nicole Current Mood:  numbCurrent Music: him - razorblade kiss |
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