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Thursday, December 2nd, 2004
| Time | Event |
| 4:37p | well im happy...i havent cut in so long!!!... it was something my friend said that really got to me... she has been ripping up her arm for 3 years, tried to kill herself, had to get stitches about 5 times and is extreamly suicidle (sp?). annd she was like "i know this isnt much comeiong from me but you have to stop cutting because if you dont your going to end up like me..and i dont want that to happen to any of my friends." so i stopped...because even though i dont want to live...i dont want to end up like she did...so after 2 years i think ive started to really cut the habbit. but i think the really deep cuts i did on my wrist about 1-2 months ago are scaring because they havent gone away..im not sure if im glad about this...i love them, but i dont want people to see. whatever Current Mood:  contentCurrent Music: beautiful people-MM |
| 5:04p | i cant wait 2 c my counselor on tuesday. i really need 2 talk. there has been so much on my mind and i cant handle it ne more. ive been cutting everyday and sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. thats really not like me. have u ever had the feeling that u were going crazy or ur cut off from reality?i feel like that a lot and it scary. i feel like im fucking up every relationship i have w/ every1 in my life. and ive been digging in2 holes and i dont no how 2 get out of them. im so fucked up. i cant wait thill this shit 4 a life is over... Current Mood:  depressedCurrent Music: kittie |
| 5:19p | hmmm today a person came to our school and talked about suicide and cutting because the guidence counsler asked her. And she gave as all this stuff with 1-800-suicide on it but i mean when you kall them what do u talk about I hate our school Current Music: ozzy breakin all the rules |
| 8:04p | i suck at life. i got the results back from the hospital so i guess stuff is alright..not great but whatever oh well. i suck and i almost cut again today.. im not even sure why.. its been a while since i have though. and whenever i look at the scars it just pisses me off..and hurts me..cause i have to live with them for the rest of my life. they are everywhere. arms wrists shoulders thighs stomach...and the ones on my arms are bad cause im so tan...and im sick if the stupid looks im getting. and the stupid ass comments im getting. it doesnt help anything..im just about to say fuck it and breakdown. Current Mood: upset Current Music: reel big fish |
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