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Wednesday, December 1st, 2004
| Time | Event |
| 3:37p | ...not as strong as i thought... so i didn't drive mike and christina yesterday cuz they wont pay me for gas money so mike got pissed and decided to throw eggs at my car...here's wut happened. mark came home and was like "uh why are there eggs under ur rear bumper?" and i said "I dunno, it's mike cuz hes mad that he can't have a ride anymore." so then i go out and sure enough, there are eggs but none hit my car cuz hes a fuckin dumb ass with bad aim. anyways so i told my mom if it hits my car i'll egg his house and she started bitching about me running my mouth to much and i needed to shut the fuck up and that if i didnt then my car was going to get taken away. well i was upset about that so i went and took a tiny safety pin and went in the shower and i barely pushed and then i just sat in the shower and cried cause i didn't think i left any marks and i know i need to be strong so i just stoped. well when i went to work, i looked and apparently there are 2 cuts there but i didnt think i pushed hard at all. i mean they are on top of a scar so you can't really tell if you have never seen my huge scar but if you have, then you know its healed so i mean thats wut bracelets are for so...now my mom is being all nice and wut not so who knows but if he does one more thing to my car i swear to god i'll kick his ass...ok i'm done bitching. i hope everyone is ok. if u need to talk u know where to find me...aim: slurpiezryummy06 and yahoo: princessbrat1706 <3 much love <3 -:|:- NAE NAE -:|:- |
| 4:00p | Okay so I put something on here yesterday. I didn't try doing anything to myself today, which I hope will make me stop hurting myself in any way. The reason I was becoming depressed was over a guy (yes, a guy of all things.) Also because things at home aren't really getting any better. But I think I'm getting stronger and not having the urge to try anything, and I'm hoping that it will stay this way. Current Mood:  drained |
| 4:19p | im new I'm kind of new. As some of you know, I've commented on the entries. I'm a former cutter, and I'd like to help cutters or people who are struggling not to. So If you need help, comment and leave your AIM screen name or email address and I'll IM/ Email you. heres an entry that offended me. and then my reply. TO ALL OF THOSE STUPID FUCKS: "Let me guess, you grew up in a perfect little world with a perfect little mommy and a perfect little daddy and a perfect little family. You also go to a perfect little school and have all the perfect little clothes and the perfect little friends.... WELL WHILE YOUR BUSY WITH BEING SO GOD DAMNED PERFECT OTHER THINGS ARE HAPPINING IN THE WORLD THAT YOUR PERFECT LITTLE MIND CANT CONMPREHEND! WELL GUESS WHAT.... YOUR NOT PERFECT... AND YOUR PROBABLY ONE OF THOSE SAD FUCKS WHO GO AROUND SAYING THEY'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO ANYONE WHEN IN ALL REALITY IT WAS PROBABLY BECAUSE OF YOU THAT THE GIRL DOWN THE STREET WANTS TO DIE OR THE BOY IN THE SECOND ROW FOUR SEATS BACK IN YOU ENGLISH CLASS WILL COMMIT SUICIDE TONIGHT! SO STOP BEINGING A STUPID LITTLE ASS AND GO AWAY! NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!!!!" hey. guess what. you're wrong. you dont know me. i dont know you. and NEWS FLASH: i didnt grow up in a perfect little world with perfect mommy and daddy and perfect family. i dont go to a perfect school and i dont have perfect clothes or perfect friends. im human. the reality of it was, no one is perfect. and no one has it great. theres always some shit that someones dealing with whether your rich or poor or have friends or no friends or what the hell ever. and i have just as much of a right to comment on these as you have to post. im not here to put you down, im here to stop cutters cause its just STUPID. it doesnt solve anything. and half the people here are doing it for attention. and if thats what they want, than so be it. its their lives, not mine. IM NOT PUTTING ANYONE DOWN. I'm here to help. so stop making generalizations. Current Mood:  annoyedCurrent Music: none |
| 4:36p | The silence is deafening The fire dies on its own Leaving us to ourselves but not exactly alone I think that something is out there waiting Anticipation has grown The air is black as can be Cant even see that my hand is in front of me Im hearing a whisper "They wont escape until the blood is set free" Now Im finding my friends Hanging from trees made a bed out of a barbed wire fence Im on the loose with my head in the noose but hey, I enjoy the intense" -Escape from Hellview by CKY I think that explains it all... Current Mood:  restlessCurrent Music: Escape from Hellview-CKY |
| 5:30p | hi.. i'm new here. i watched this comm. for some time. theres seems to be a bond between cutters/Siers/SMers. i've cut myself for upwards of 3 years, but used to hurt myself in other ways when i was a kid. longer than i've been cutting, i tend to pop pills to the point where i cannot function without them, and become very sick after a day without them. well.. erm yeah.. thats just about it. Oh yeah, my pony Lilly is my best friend! |
| 5:58p | it lasted for a week I cut last night. It lasted a whole week. I cut an anarchy sign into my thigh. Its ok looking. all m friends are upset about it. i have to go to state ordered conseling (long story but im on proabation) that sucks hmm well i have to go You didnt know what u ment to me, A friendship now that can never be, U hurt me more then u will ever know, It hurts even more to move on and let go, I know u never felt the same way, More blood i bleed everyday, U ignore me and lact like it doesnt hurt, U make me wanna die, And treat me like dirt, The sad thing is u dont realize u do this, But i know with time u'll see im somthing u'll miss. Current Mood:  blankCurrent Music: pretty fly-offspring |
| 7:35p | oucherz my neck hurts well kids i cut again. like 6 or 7 long lines on my upper arm. i dont know, but for some reason i couldnt sleep and decided to cut. so i did and after that i slept great. its like a natural sleeping pill because i didnt want to take another freaking ambien. it worked, how weird. idk today my mood changed like 5 different times. i was happy, then i wasnt. then i was, then i got really tired and then i was really happy. i have to see my psychiatrist tomorrow at 1:45 and get more meds. i hate meds but at least these help and dont make me sick. prozac, zoloft and lexapro all made me sick. im on celexa right now. i hate being so fake. my neck hurts for some damn reason. oucherz. ugh christmas is coming up. usually i love christmas, but this year will be the first year without my dad and my uncle. my uncle died in april and he was like my best friend. and my dad kind of abandoned me in september of this year. i havent talked to him since then, not even on thanksgiving. it pisses me off but what are you going to do, i cant call him because i dont know where he went and our cell phone got shut off. So not seeing him (even though im mad at him) will make me sad. christmas around here is about family. what happens if all of your family is gone :[ uhm lets see what else. i just quit my job because they kept scheduling me for like 10:00, 10:30, 11:00 at night and i have to go to school at 6:30 am. no thanks. its not like i do much in school anyway im failing like two classes, one in which i failed last year and am taking over right now. i cant stay concentrated and im obviously not motivated. all i want to do lately is sleep. i wish i could sleep all day that would be awesome. maybe its because ive been sick. yea, i stayed home all of thanksgiving break because i was really sick. mm, some fun that was. although my mom took care of me. it was cute. haha. i dont know what else to say. my therapist is having a baby so i cant see her until january 3rd. but actually, i dont seem to need one as bad. nothing really has been going badly in my life that i need to bitch about and if it is, i have other people i can talk to about it with. not like a trained professional but friends and shit. hehe well my man is on the phone and i miss him like nutzso, so i g2g. stay strong. Current Mood: soreCurrent Music: dead body man- ICP |
| 8:37p | ??? does anyone no anything about heart pains i've been gettin sum lately idk if its just nothing or it could be sumthing to do with popping pills same with my stomach i just get this relly sharp pain and sumtimes throw up now and i usually dont that much. well just wondering... ~ redd ~ Current Mood: sickCurrent Music: random songs on the radio |
| 9:40p | Late at night, when the world is turned off Do any of you have sleeping problems? My mother seems to have latched onto the idea that cutting is somehow related to insomnia. She had me put on Ambien. It gets me high for an hour, then it makes me sick. It doesn't put me to sleep. She comes in every half-hour and asks me why I'm not asleep yet, and what time I'm going to bed. I'm not allowed to do anything, just lie under my covers. So guess what I do instead. That's right. Everyone's favorite little hobby. My arms hurt all the time now. My razors are becoming dull. I'm nicking at all the veins on my arms...at least the Ambien delays that a bit. But then it wears off, or I fight it off, and just sit there cut-cut-cutting, wishing I could just sleep, or take more pills. Anyone else gone through something similar? For some reason I doubt it, but maybe I'm completely deluded... Current Mood: coldCurrent Music: Green Day |
| 9:47p | Woah, I just saw the entry below me. Current Mood: coldCurrent Music: Green Day |
| 11:05p | GRRRR Hmm... well its funny. That new show... the one someone eles was talking about... really makes me angry and even more fucked up. I was fat before I stopped eating... and I cut. How could someone find something such as that show amusing? It isnt! Aimee Current Mood: pissed offCurrent Music: Disterbed |
| 11:38p | I just thought I would let yall know that I got AIM now... so if yall ever need someone to talk to... just look up my name on there... its in my profile i do believe. |
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