Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004

Time	Event
5:07a	I cut last night .. 5 deep cuts across my wrist...it felt SO good... I missed it ... a long time without doing it... Current Mood: tired (1 Comment | Comment on this)
5:45a	I dont know whats wrong with me I just want to be happy I am sitting here crying alone and cold I only wanted a home Do you hear that piercing sound? Do you hear me hit the ground? Do you hear my morbid scream? Do you understand this dream? I can't take control Why do am I always so low I only want to be gone And now my work is done Do you hear that piercing sound? Do you hear me hit the ground? Do you hear my morbid scream? Do you understand this dream? .... I know its dumb but thats all that would come out. I tried to just talk but thats what resulted... sorry! -Aimee kendra Lynn Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: Evanescence (3 Comments | Comment on this)
6:11a	Hmmm... Well... Im talking to Chris(my best friend and the only one who gets most of me) and this is what was said: trutenks69: hello sweet_angelic_kiss104: hey trutenks69: i smell like burnt hair sweet_angelic_kiss104: so go take a shower trutenks69: i dont wanna sweet_angelic_kiss104: why not? trutenks69: and your the only one that didnt laugh at me trutenks69: cause im talking to you sweet_angelic_kiss104: my bad... here... LOL HAHAHA sweet_angelic_kiss104: now im like everyone eles.... trutenks69:*lifted eyebrow thingy* sweet_angelic_kiss104: what? trutenks69: you sweet_angelic_kiss104: me what? trutenks69: whats your problem sweet_angelic_kiss104: I dont have a problem... trutenks69: kenny : my bad... here... LOL HAHAHA kenny : now im like everyone eles.... trutenks69: ........ sweet_angelic_kiss104: what??? sweet_angelic_kiss104: Im sorry sweet_angelic_kiss104: IM SORRY sweet_angelic_kiss104: im sorry trutenks69: for? sweet_angelic_kiss104: hang on... i cant breath sweet_angelic_kiss104: I dont know what Im sorry for... being me... being here sweet_angelic_kiss104: i dont know trutenks69: *rolling eyes* sweet_angelic_kiss104: why are you rolling your eyes at me trutenks69: nvm Im NOT going to CUT myself... I dont want to but I do... it hurts so much... I cant breath and I cant stop crying and now Chris is mad at me. I dont have anymore of my anxiety pills left so now im just gonna pass out from not breathing... oh well.... Current Mood: anxious (6 Comments | Comment on this)
1:25p	hey everyone after my unfortunate failed suicide attempt, they've decided to send me away. i'm going to the mental health facility in penatang. i just want to scream! i don't want to go! i know i need help, but i don't want to fail my semester while getting it! god, this sucks...i'll post when i get home... lots of love <3 <3 (11 Comments | Comment on this)
4:27p	im doing really good. i feel really nice. lol. uhm i havent cut in like a few weeks. even though thats mostly all i think about. seeing blood or something. i dont even know what it is anymore. but i guess ive been fighting the urges more, instead of giving in. or something. things are great with my friends. and im starting to talk to lauren again. and im getting closer to natasha. im better friends with marcus. me and starr are best friends like woah. and everything. and i just hope things dont start going downhill like they always seem to be. my mom even bought me some mederma today. for my scars. since i havent cut in a while, im gonna start "trying to get rid of them". hm. okay. i went to my doctor today. got some refills. didnt change my dose this time! yay. but the sleeping pills ive been taking arent really helping anymore.. except like one or two days out of the week.. so yeah. i hope everyones doing good. (7 Comments | Comment on this)
5:14p	thought you could all relate There ain't nobody asking me, where I've been There ain't nobody that would name me, as a friend There ain't nobody that's dropping by, to say hi There ain't nobody that's caring whether, i live or die I have nobody to tell about, my growing angers I have nobody to tell about me, following strangers There ain't nobody making sure, I'm taking, all of my pills There ain't nobody slowing me down, and keeping me still I'm truly alone (Chorus) They say a man can only be alone for so long before the man's mind is gone (truly alone) They say a man can only be alone for so long before the man's mind is gone (i'm so alone) They say a man can only be alone for so long before the man's mind is gone (truly alone) They say a man can only be alone for so long before the man's mind is gone There ain't nobody telling me, not to jump off There ain't nobody telling me, not to chop your block off I get so bloody, I ruin, all of my clothes I get so bloody, I sit, in the dark alone I have nobody, to tell about, my dark fantasies I have nobody, to tell about, my dark realities There ain't nobody around me, nobody wanna be friends I get so bloody, all on me, the mess never ends I'm truly alone (Chorus) They say a man can only be alone for so long before the man's mind is gone (truly alone) They say a man can only be alone for so long before the man's mind is gone (i'm so alone) They say a man can only be alone for so long before the man's mind is gone (truly alone) They say a man can only be alone for so long before the man's mind is gone (5 Comments | Comment on this)
5:59p	new community!!! there is a new community in town!! woo woo this community is run by the band RANDOM TASK. http://www.blurty.com/community/mybandrt/ This community is for everyone! In this community there is a link to RANDOM TASK music and downloads. You can also talk to the members of RANDOM TASK and their fans. You can also post any information would would like to get out about bands that you like and that you are interested so others can learn about them as well. remember this community is very new...so get the word out to anyone you want. Hope to see you there!!! RANDOM TASK http://www.blurty.com/community/mybandrt/ Current Mood: amused Current Music: Flogging Molly (Comment on this)
11:13p	Bleeding from my mouth... Sometimes I don't want to be me, I just want to disappear. How come I can't tell anyone this? Why do I just write it down? I don't know, I feel guilty and I have no clue why. I just want it to go away. I want to disappear, why won't anyone let me? I need to cut, but I wont...I limited myself to twice a month, I've already had twice a month, last month I did 4. I am a bad girl...the monster is just waiting to come back to me. I hate it...I feel like a horrible monster. I wish someone would save me. "I'm not feeling so bold Can't you see I don't wanna grow old? I don't want to be me... I'm not feeling so sure, It would help if you offered a cure..." I wish I could just let it all out to anyone that would care, but no one does...I'm sorry I'm so horrible... Current Mood: cold Current Music: I don't want to be me (11 Comments | Comment on this)

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