Tuesday, November 16th, 2004

Time	Event
12:00a	this sucks so bad. im kind of in a fight w/ my best friend becky. shes mad at me cuz i wouldnt tell her something. its so fucking stupid. and i realized that i have no real friends. none of then really even care about me, all they care about is themselves. im really begining 2 think that there is no reason 4 me being here. i feel like im just taking up space in this world and it wouldnt really even matter 2 ne1 if i was gone. people piss me off so much. im forced 2 put on ths big happy face 4 every1 but im running out of happy faces. im in desprarte need of a cigeratte and im really freaking out cuz i cant have 1 cuz once again, PEOPLE FUCKING SUCK! i hate them all. well im going 2 go freak out some more and hope that my cealing comes crashing down or i get electricuted or some other kind of freak acctdent happens and i die... Current Mood: stressed (Comment on this)
6:11p	first time.. yyeeah so this is my first time writing in this community, just because it took me forever to figure out how to join.. i read this one all the time and i realized that you are probably the only people i can tell about how i feel... my friends don't understand.. im kinda on and off with cutting.. its been 2 years since i started and my boyfriend now says he dont like when i do it and it makes him not want to be around me but i love him so i stopped for a month and a half and i did it again 2 weeks ago and i havent told ne one about it... they've scard now... i knew i wasnt going to his house that weekend so i figured it would be my only chance.. i finally figured out why i doo it cause for the longest time i just did it too do it and i really didnt know why.. but its cause i can't let my feelings out by telling people so i let it out on myself but when i do it it makes me feel soo much better.. so now ive got 11 new slices on my arm i think this will last me for atleast a month... who knows.. i guess thats all i have to say for now im probably gonna do more later.. good bye ::j:e:n:: Current Mood: tired Current Music: numb -- linkin park (2 Comments | Comment on this)
6:52p	hmm... hey, my name is j. nicole and i jus recently joined whycut, uhm i guess ive been cutting for about a year and a half now, the first time i cut was when my dad tried to kill us one night when he got drunk, uhm i guess i should say somehitng more about myself, lets see....uhm well my mom and dad both unsed to drink alot and yell and scream and fight, but now neither of them drink as a result of what happened. my mom has smoe mental problems, she does some phycho things, but they are all pretty subtle so you dont know she does them right away, shes the kind of mom that controls everyhting i do, everywhere i go, and everyone im around,...well...she TRIES to at least, uhm i cant say much about my dad, cept hes not my real dad, i dont know who my real dad is, but THIS dad, hes always working so i never see him much, but for the most part we get along now, uhm idk what else to say...uhm i jus got dumped about 2 months ago by the love of my life, ive been in and out of depression for about 3 years, no one knows about my cutting, i told a few people when i was drunk but they havent said anything since then, my mom has seen the scars on my wrist and asked about them, but i jus say the dog or cat did it, ive never seen a phycologist or anything even tho i maybe should....uhm im one of those people who doesnt think that im getting myself into anything, i only cut when i get angry or somehting upsets me, or sometimes when im happy and i just want to see the blood, i jus look at it as a way of coping with what im dealing with, uhm....ive tried to kill myself a few times but ive gotten over that....i never wanna do that now thats about it i really dont ever have anyone to tlak to about this kinda stuff so id be nice to get a few ims from people like me if u wanna talk or whatever anytime Xx AdiiCTeD2u xX thanks, later Current Mood: confused Current Music: nothing compares 2 u...prince (2 Comments | Comment on this)
8:12p	life is so confuseing well i havet cut since the last insident on my wrist. and no one has seen that except my friend lexi (i show her all of them because she understands even though she doesnt do it herself). but yea... i think i can stop even though in my heart i dont want to. But i think once these heal im going to do one last cut down my arm real deep just so it can leave a scar. just one scar and ill be happy (i hope). its getting hard not to cut because everything is just so stressfull like school and my boyfriend and friends. Like i have these two guy friends and there both really cool friends ...but thats all they'll ever be is friends and they both like me and are constently hitting on me. At first i admit it was flattering but now its just down right annoying and its starting to get to me and my boyfriend. i just wish life were easier...but thats life right? well im going to go disract myself from thinking about cutting because if i dont ill never stop. bye Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: velvet revolver-fall to peices (Comment on this)
8:57p	Hey all I need help with my senior project. I'm making a movie called Confessions of an Underclassman. Its generally about the stuff girls go through in their high school years. If you have any stories that happened to you just comment and tell me them. So far for my script I have it starting out with: A silk rose. Unchangeable. Always beautiful. Eternally fake. I was fake, but not anymore. Just like every other freshman girl, fake. Entering the world of keggers, prom night sex, and life ruining friendships. Naive to the fact that I was just an object for the junior and seniors to prey upon, I truly believed they thought I was beautiful. I am not condoning high school in any way shape or form, I am just telling my story, the version you never hear. Most people go through high school with a corps group of friends, rotating through romantic involvements and staying primarily satisfied with themselves. THANKS ALOT EVERYONE~! (2 Comments | Comment on this)
9:24p	so yeah...i really feel like jumping tomorrow. IF ANY OF YOU DARE COMMIT SUICIDE OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA DO IT TOO! one bad thing only leads to another bad thing. sorry for the threat :P Current Mood: indescribable (4 Comments | Comment on this)

<< Previous Day

2004/11/16 [Calendar]

Next Day >>