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Thursday, October 21st, 2004
| Time | Event |
| 2:53p | hey i got suspended again. this is cut_me_help_me. so this is my new thing. |
| 5:17p | this girl showed me her cuts today from last night she fucking made it out to be this big fucking deal like oh i almost pased out blah blah BLAH and then she showed me and i was like where is it. shes like oh it bled soo much. THERE WASNT EVEN A SCRATCH. erjhejh i felt like an idiot being sincere and all, and trying to help her out WHEN THERE NOTHING THERE. k had to share. paYce |
| 7:08p | down the drain... So much for not cutting for 2 months. I've been doing it for so long, I can't even remember who I used to be. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to stop. This scares me. But then again... I don't want to stop. Current Mood:  confusedCurrent Music: wearing the inside out - pink floyd |
| 8:48p | i dont know what too do..... I'm lost....i don't know what to do anymore. I want to leave arbors but I made alot of new friends and now they are making me feel guilty. It hurts so much. It feels like I'm letting everyone down, gosh i'm losing it. Gotta cut again. Got to let it all out just like my tears. It kills. Current Mood:  crappyCurrent Music: my tears fall on the keys |
| 11:20p | hey guys... i feel like such a failure and a hypocrite. Here I am trying to help you and telling you how you can help yourselves to not cut and to be okay.... and here i go again. I cut last night. Right before class. It was bad too... cause then i got a long sleeve shirt and i swear I made sure that i was done bleeding... and then i get to class and there was speckles of blood alll over my sleeve. I felt like I was going to barf... so i went to the bathroom and did... then I tried to wrap my arm in toilet paper... i felt soo freakin dumb... i just wanna say I'm sorry cause I feel like I'm doing all of you wrong.. :( Anyway... i got the guts to take a pic of my arm and not care if my mom finds it on the comp... here it is.. ps: it was taken a day after I cut so... its all scabbed up and stuff.. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v464/thislostsoulofmine/DSC00079.jpg is it wrong that I think it's pretty?? ... Am I the only one who gets a kick out of the "Cut" option when you right click? ehhh..... I'm so depressed right now... blahhhhh...... Current Mood: crushedCurrent Music: a song to sing - "my fav band" |
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