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Friday, October 1st, 2004
| Time | Event |
| 1:51p | hey every one hi every one im not back yet but you all can reach me at my email address but still wont get back to you for a while sorry!!!!! hey if you want my really world address just comment ill give it to you thanks and sorry byz!!!!! hopfully ill get a new computer that can talk to you all soon sorry bye!!!! Current Mood:  aggravated |
| 6:17p | Today sucked. Im in this choir, at my school. My choir director is an asshole. We go on this trip we call "tour" each year, and we always go somewhere out of state (last year LA) and we sing at random places (disney) and things, its really fun. Anyway, we also take these stupid ass things called Juries. Juries are were you go into this room with Mr Buckley (director) and his assistants and sing these 3 songs we learn at the beg. of the year. Sounds easy, but its not. You have to hit ALL the high ass notes and jumps, do all the dynamics, and dont dare get scared and let your voice shake, you will fail. Anyway, we did this Jury thing last week. I didnt do that bad. I messed up one song because NO ONE knew it. They didnt even teach it. We practiced it twice. So everyone fucked it up. Anyway, I did pretty good, and walked out feeling good. Buckley decides to be an ASSHOLE and let Juries decide if your going on tour this year, (every other year everyone goes)...so basically today this morning in chorus, he called out the names of the people who are going (about 20 from each section 50 in a section) Then after he basically said if your not good enough get out (not of choir just out of the meeting)...it pissed me off. Hardly any of my friends made it. I was pissed the WHOLE day. Well not really....before 1st period my best friend and I were ranting and so my friend whos a Jr. skipped with us and another girl Kelley. We drove around...went to get coffee...went back to her house and watched Queer As Folk (great show) ...then we went back at lunch. I barely had a school day, it was pretty nice. Anyway I am still kinda mad (it might not be abig deal to others, but this is a big thing to me) Another thing not making it better..my mum has PERFECTED the whole kicking you when your down thing...what a bitch....>.< I hate everything right about now .... Current Mood: pissed off |
| 11:46p | I cant stop thinking how its all my fault. The thing is, it is my fault. This whole life, i put myself here. Why would i want to put myself in this kind of situation? i've been isolating myself even more from my friends. today during lunch i got up and walked away. no one said anything. about 15 minutes later, i come back, no one noticed me come back. so i walked away again. its come down to this. rather be alone than suffering like this. i give up! i cant be a peoples person anymore! all i can resort to is my blade right now. but since i cant. or else i'm really screwed for life. so i just listen to music. i feel so dead. i dont feel mad, i dont feel happy, i dont feel anything. i'm just here. typing. like a robot. i dont know whats trubling me, but its troubling me to no extent. i wish i could just quit life. not suicide, just quit. |
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