Sunday, December 28th, 2003

Time	Event
12:08a	fuck... what the fuck am i to do damn it, my knife is just fucking taunting me, its calling out to me, to take me away, to my little hole in the ground, but no one will mourn my death, but what would that matter, i'll be fucking dead, i'll never be a bother again, i miss the feelings, the blood running down, the way it felt, the way it looked, the way it smelled, everything, damn it, fuck , i want to die, but no one could understand this pain, fuck i dont even understand, its so pointless, yeah i'm having a shitty life right now, christmas... woke up at 5 in the morning, after going to bed at 330, opened presents and crap... nothing speical, we all just wanted to get it over with, my mom got the car stuck in out driveway, (our drive way is the driveway from hell) so i got to push it out, not helping with the back problem went to dads moms, it was ok, heard about my grandmas sexual life, and i can honestly say, if i had a gun, i would have shot myslf, went to my moms mom, then mr flu and every other fucking virus bug thingy deicded, "hey, instead of sneaking up on him, lets just pound him, it is christmas" so yeah i was throwing up even though i hadent eaten layed in bed all friday throwing up trying to get up but just falling down...to dizy head pounding neck stiff, back problems, waterfall for a nose ya'll get what i'm saying got up, my mom deicded i should drive home, who the fuck cares if i'm sick, so sense i was kinda sick and i just wanted to get home, the noraml 3 hour drive, took 2, the needle might have gone under 85 mayeb once or twice, but for the most part, 95, ah the open road, ^-^ and now that i'm home, i'm just being taunted to cut, blah, i'm sorry for only bitching and complaining, in my short time here i'm sure some of u are already sick of me, but hey, i needed ranting space, i'm sorry -.- (1 Comment | Comment on this)
2:07p	UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 X_X Ugh! Im so fukiin annoyed! iight....mii mom woke me up at 9.30 and told me to get dressed and stuff cuz I had to go with therr and Charlie (my "step dad") to kingston and exchange stuff. And im like "why" and she is like "its family bonding" and im like "bull shitt" its SO stupid...everytime i go anywere with charlie i get into a fiight with him...and today we got into a fight...aND like i used to be scared of him...cuz he used to beat his own kidds...and like i would be scared of him and like never talk back...buh he is juzt bull shitt. So he was like tellin me to hold all the baggs n shitt..and im like "no i dont even want to be herr im not holding anyhting" and like everytime we get into fights he brings up stuff that happened s0o0o0o0o long ago...and i guess i said sumthin...n he like "well how about i punch u in the face" and i pointed 2 mii cheek and im like "go ahead...i DARE ya to" and he juzt stormed off into the store. I think its really funny that he gets SO madd about shitt....so mii mom was like Grrrr and i was laughiin... its really fukked up. I hope he gets hit by a car ;]] well now i have 2 go 2 charlies parents house... sum1 plz shoot me....x_X -maygin Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: The Ataris (Comment on this)
8:37p	thank god mann....i juzt thought mii boyfriend got kicked out of his house...i FREAKED out...buh everything is iight... *thank u god* -maygin Current Mood: okay Current Music: NOFX (Comment on this)

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