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Saturday, December 27th, 2003
| Time | Event |
| 12:35a | I starting cutting not that long ago..I do it because of my dad..he hits me.. |
| 12:40a | i cut last night. i cut 3 times on my forearm and i made a square on my ankle. i shouldnt have cut on my arm because my cousin is coming up tommorw and im scared she might see it. and latly its been feeling overly good when i cut. i want to cut tonight. i need to cut tonight but i'm trying to hold myself back from doing it untill i'm clear from people. it only feels good on my forearm. its weird. on my ankle it feels good for a little but i dont really get anything out of it. i just cut there when i cant do it on my arm and it gives me that relief. it sucks :( this all sucks. i think im just going to do it. i really need to. so cutting on my ankle does help. i changed my mind lol Current Mood:  aggravatedCurrent Music: |
| 9:32a | ahh I'm so disgusted with myself. I should have listened to you guys. I just had to start this...I feel so gross with myself when im done. I've ruined myself, I've ruined my life...I hate myself. Current Mood:  dirtyCurrent Music: matchbook romance |
| 12:50p | its saturday and i havent got a damn thing to do. i have no life. gees thats pothetic (sorry 4 the spellin bare with me) i realized that that it feels juss as good to cut on my hip as it does my arm and i dont have to worry about ppl see thoughs scars. i hadnt cut in about 2 week but last night i couldnt stop myself. i made 3 gashes on my hip. now im up to 71 cuts and a star on my ankle. i dont cut very deep though thats why i have so many cuts. now that i think about it i dont have a best friend. i never did. i juss the... well im the one that everyone goes to when there isnt nebody else. if that make ne since to neone. im juss tired of all the bull shit from everybody... neways i hope everybody had a good christmas. l8rz kris~ Current Mood:  boredCurrent Music: until the day i die ~ story of the year |
| 1:30p | I cut last night..I dont know why..I guess when I have nufferz better to do I cut.. Current Mood: sick |
| 2:07p | cuts.. Well I just wrote an entry but here's another..The first time I cut was about a year ago..it was because of this kid J***....then I stopped and one tonight my dad came in my room and starts yelling..next thing I know he is hitting me and throwing stuff at me..big stuff..like my textbooks..so when he left I locked my door and cut across my wrist as fast as I can...I have do it a couple of times..right now I have 7 cuts across my wrist.. No one knows except a couple of my friends and my boyfriend...on my ancle I have a really deep triangle... cutting makes me feel better when I do it...but when I see what I have done and I feel the stinging pain after I regret it but I do it again..Cutting to me is lke a drug..Once you start its hard to stop... Current Mood: sickCurrent Music: The Used...Taste of Ink |
| 7:30p | so i havent posted in a while....i ran away for a while, so havent really had the chance...im going insane, i dont know what the fuk to do right now...i havent cut in so long, like weeks, but this week has just really killed me and im sitting here stareing at a pair of scisors and an exacto knife...and im ready to just cut myself into pieces...im so upset and not even for any apparent reason...my stupid shrink has me on three diffrent pills and i think im even more screwed up now than i was before. christmas was so hard, i my dad kept yelling at me that i should be happy because its christmas and my whole familys here, but when the whole familys here my dad becomes an even bigger ass....im so confussed. whats sad is that we have another week before we go back to school and i would rather be at school then at home...scary. i just dont know what to do anymore, i quit my job, me and tyler who im like in love with have been fighting, my dad, just everything. i cant do this shit anymore. Current Mood: depressedCurrent Music: yellowcard |
| 8:08p | another day of hell today i had 2 go 2 mii "dads" house. I hate my dad. We used 2 be really close. Buh then he got a girlfriend and blew the whole family offf and now he wants to start over like nothing hapened. Its bullshitt. And the way he talks, he makes it seem like its MY fault today was the first time i have seen him in like....4 months...i reallly hate him. *sigh* Eh....im so depressed riight now. I like feel like im about to cry buh therr is like nothing in me 2cry...ya kno wa i mean? Grrrrr im tiired of feeliin like diss. I need to get over stuff....buh i like cant =( My best friend is on vacation...n i need her 2 talk 2...she helps me get throught stuff...cuz i feel like she understands me on sum topic better then other friends. o-well....she be back soon ;]]] im gonna call kyle 2niight *sqeek* im excitedd....i hope that will cheer me up I wish i coluld go 2 PA and be wiith himm....that would be the best. -Maygin Current Mood: disappointedCurrent Music: Raido |
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