[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends View]
Sunday, December 21st, 2003
| Time | Event |
| 12:01a | RIP Kim............... i went to my friends wake tonight............she was so cold .............in a way i envy her she no longer has to feel this pain of this cruel fucked up world.........anyhow i miss her and im numb and ive already made 9 cuts tonight and i cant stop but the blood is so beautyfull to me and i can barley feel this knife cutting my flesh im in a trance and i really need to stop .............but i dont want to............ i wish i could have saved her....................and now i cant find my fucking knife.............DAMNIT........... Current Mood: morbid Current Music: silence |
| 12:43a | I am leaving in a few hours for Califorina. Finally its time to go. i'm scared becsaue i don't like planes and all that jazz. Everyone says that this will be good for me. That i need to get away for a bit. I hope so i am will them so, I don't wanna leave my best friend. I love her with all my heart. And my other best friend is the one they think i need to get awya from. I love her too with all my heart and she just is so mean to me. She is the only person these days that can make me cry. Everyone says that i need to not be friends with her but she has been my best friend for 4 years and thats a long time. Well mayve this will be good for me. I haven;t cut since the last time i said i did. Its been like a week or 2 i can't remmeber. My wrist is almost all healed. So when i get back i will have to cut again and make it look all pretty. Boys are stupid... I have deicded the boy that i thoght liked me doesnt'. I haven't talked to him in a few days. And all the other hott boys hate me. They make me sad..... I haven';t smoked in a long time either. Its driving me crazy... I wnana get high so bad i won't get to smoke until i come back. It really sucks really bad. And my best friend who i said something about above who i alwasy smoke wiht. Says that her friend doesnt' like to be around me sometimes like everyone else. So io'm not allowed to come wiht them to smoke. And i won't smoke alone that just sucks all in itself. I won't have a computer for the time i'm gone. I can't even use my own cell phone. I have to use my moms. Well i have to get on moving i just thought i'm write a bit before i go. Just to let everyone kno i'm still alive.. Goog Bye New York Califorina and Las Vegas here i come!!! Merry Christmas everyone!!!! Current Mood: Crying Current Music: silence |
| 8:52a | finally hey everyone... well it has been awhile since i was last here to update so how are you? me well im sick and it sucks, but thats ok. me and my boyfriend broke up, i hope we get back together. so yeah... schools out for christmas, and later i have to go shopping... so yeah... well im going to go now. Merry christmas to every one!! buhbye Current Mood:  awakeCurrent Music: none |
| 1:08p | When people think of Christmas they usually this of presents, happiness and fun with family. Christmas is a time that should be perfect and full of happiness. But the only happiness I get out of Christmas is the memories I have from Christmas’s long ago. A long time ago Christmas used to be a very special time to my family, everyone would be so happy and joyful. Me and my dad would spend hours making decorations for the house and cook all kinds of food. I even remember the smell of Christmas. I used to decorate the whole Christmas tree all by myself. Everyone used to be so proud. Even the littlest this they would be proud of. But now, Christmas is like a hassle. Once my favorite time of year has now become the most saddest and depressing time of year for me. My mom has to have everything totally perfect on the tree so I cant even help. She complains about having to spend so much money on gifts for everyone. I mean yes gifts are a big part of Christmas but if you don’t have the happiness to go along with it then what is the point? I just wish thing could go back to the way they used to be, I miss the joys of Christmas. Current Mood:  busyCurrent Music: KAYLA CALLED MY CELL! |
| << Previous Day |
2003/12/21 [Calendar] |
Next Day >> |