| 9:52p |
I just cut again... For the first time since mid- october.... i had to do it i just couldn't help it.... 3 fucking months i just can't stand it anymore.... 4 lines across my wrist..... :-(
Today was a horrible day i hate my family,... I wish i didn;'t have one. I just wanna be alone away from them. I don't veen kno about the whole trip thing now, i don't wanna be away with my grandparents they drive me totally crazy. WE can't even go into a store and not have a fight. She won't even let me pick out my own shoes, shes nuts.
I can;t do this anymore... I wish i was strong enough to kill myslef but i'm not.... I don't kno what is here for me but there must be something since i would never be able to go through wiht it. I must be crazy.. but i dont really kno anymore.
I think i need to stop smoking.. I love being high. I am sick of having no one pay for anythign and never being paid.... And just now this happened..
Her- You wanna split a bag
Me- you mean like 7 and 8
Her - well now my friend has 5
Me- Well thats not spliting las ttime i checked
Her - you said you had money to spend and i found a way
Me- all i have is 16 for the next week until vacation
Her- well fuck you then
so that was me and my best friend.......
The problem i had wiht the money is all this moeny that i spend on smoking is my moms. And she wanted it back., and my friend was suposted to give me back 4 and now she can't... but its funny how when she has money to smoke alone i never get to smoke.. but when i have money everyone gets to smoke. I guess there nothing i can do about this... |