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Friday, December 5th, 2003
| Time | Event |
| 6:02a | hmmm.... its been awhile since I updated. Well......I did cut on a halfday I had two days ago..My friend wanted to see and I was kinda liek uhmm no and then when she left I started and I didnt stop until I felt I was "happy" with it. And I have 8 cuts on my right arm and I will admit this arm for sum reason felt sooooo good liek im nto kidding liek OMG good. and then I cut on my ankle with a saftypin, and there is vixible blood stuck under the skin, it loks worse than it is lol. then I also cut pretty deep ontop of my hand but on the top of my wrist and yeah, I did it once it started turnign white and I stuck the blade back in and I did it again but I got a sharp pain liek a burn sting thing and it hurt, idk if thats totally normal btu thats what happens if I do a deep cut then try and make it deeper.; Well w/e Idk. I went to my copucnelor and he wants me to talk to my mom again about it and see if she'll get me help and if she doesnt take me seriously again he said he will call her and just be like I have seen your daughter in my office a few times and she feels your not taking her problem seriously and blah blah blah idk if thats a good idea? do u think shed get mad? Id love a lot of feedback, cuz im still not shure what to do! especially about that. lol thanks guys im stil lreading all your entries I just dont have much time to comment as I should! But oh I think im gonan take up a story now...i liekd that otehr girls story so I think i may begin my own, I hope she doesnt mind! stay safe guys! |
| 7:29a | snow... its snowing and it all is kinda pretty... i guess. i mean everything looks so clean and fresh. we dont have skool today so that means another boring day in the hell hole... i dont have a damn thing to do in this house...grrr.. i soooooo bored right now. thas really not a good thing. when i get bored i start thinking then one thing leads to another then i start cutting. im really gonna try to stop this time... haha... yea right.. well now im really runing out of things to type so i think im gonna go... ~kris~ Current Mood:  awakeCurrent Music: falls on me~ fuel |
| 8:09a | well im grounded for everything 1. phone 2. TV 3. i cant go anywerr 4. i cant listen 2 music 5. the comp im suprized i can even turn a light now in mii fukiin room! i have a time limit on mii comp and mii b.f kyle made me a s.n and i went on it and got caught and i had a cup of rum in mii room cuz i waz gonna make a drink n 4got 2 and she found it...thats why im grounded. its so stupid! i hate mii mom. And she hates me. She like wnats me 2 kill her er mii-self! i hate life. GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -maygin Current Mood:  angryCurrent Music: people tlaking |
| 3:10p | I wanan cut really bad right now. this girl on my bus is suchj a fuckign dumbass I supposedly took her seat uh huh right and shes still hugn up on it, she talks about me and she like fuckign took a rubber band and flicked thoes thinck ass papper thigns at me and one hit myu arm (she got a dude to do it) and throguth my jacket it left this thick ass red bruisy thing. it felt kinda good when it hit me, btu then thign is is we cant fight cuz we will both be expelled out of the entire 4 districts in this area, and Im liek a lsoer on the bus I dont talk I sit there all tired and yeah I dont caouse trouble. I liek to be quite but at school i fuckin am way diff. But yes I disliek her right now. Thats how columbine starts fro mbitches liek that. But n e ways I had a good day besides that btu that ruined my whole day I seriously feel so emotional and I wanan cry Ikd why. I wanna cut. its so stupid and I shouldnt care btu this is my emotional day i guess idk Current Mood:  crappyCurrent Music: the edge[x]103.9 |
| 7:03p | Hi. I'm new. I'm new here.. Whell, I guess I should say something about myself.. My name is ashley, I'm 14 and I have been cutting for four years. I suppose that is sort of a long time, but i didn't start cutting regularly until 7th grade {I'm a freshman}. My dad used to abuse me and my mum. I fought back until I was old enough to realize that if you shut up, and take it, he'll stop. I no longer see him. I hate him. I hate my mom. I guess I should be mad, at both of them, my mom for not leaving him and my dad for.. everything, but I'm not. {I have a hard time expressing my anger} I have been assaulted by a lot of guys, usually my boyfriends. I bring that on myself. I am also bulimic. Nobody knows though. I'm pretty fucked up for a girl who "has everything going for her". I haven't really talked about cutting, but I felt like I should introduce myself. Sorry. -ashley Current Mood: depressedCurrent Music: The White Stripes |
| 9:35p | Well I cut today. All over my arms both of them, some on my legs, DIE in my left thigh. all over my left wrist just liek did lines up down sideways its weird. then I went to sleep, and slrpt until nine and i went ot bed at liek 4 lol i slept so good to I didnt move until my mom came home, but I had an armband on my wrist, it dont cover nearly al lthe way but w.e idc she doesnt care n e ways i cant belive I cut so much! |
| 10:06p | this life is just too fucking hard. its killing me... Current Mood: insane Current Music: me inside [x] slipknot |
| 11:54p | I just cut about 5 minutes. weird thing is, I'm not depressed or anything. I love life as it is.. I just like blood. the cuts dont even hurt me anymore its as if i have become inmune (sp?) to the pain. so strange. I even used hairspray barely stung. i was pissed....like mutha fucka why wont you hurt more!!?? Oh well. Current Mood: awake |
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