Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003

Time	Event
11:12a	Blah x.X Ahh again im in school fun fun (no) Me and mii mom got into a huge fiight last niight....H U G E! It was about...well i have a time limit thing on mii comp...i ccan only go on it for 1 hour on the week days and 2 on the weekends...and its really stupid..so mii b.f Kyle made me a s.n on his account so i could go on it and talk to him more. And i guess last niight mii mom picked up the phone n it made the sound...like thats says ur on-line...and she is like "how the fukk are u on the comp" "why cant u juzt be a good kid and stop fuking up" "why are u like the way you are" and allll this shitt...i hate her...WOW i went on the comp...im a badd person....call the cops..maygins on the comp! -smh i wish she would juzt go away 4ever!!!!! =[[[ AND another thing....iight i was gonna make a run are coke and bring it 2 school 2day...and like i left the glass of rum in mii room n 4got 2 make the drink...i hope mii "parents" dun fiind it...if they do I AM DEAD!....you have no idea how dead i will be... D E A D...lol yea.. ugh! its nah that mii mom upsentts me...i think its funny that she gets so madd at the stupid shitt -smh....and i mean STUPID...one time i got groundd for like...3 weeks for DOWNLOADING AIM!!!! AIM...i mean COME ON! -smh iight im'a g0o <33 -Maygin Current Mood: tired Current Music: people talking (Comment on this)
11:54a	just dropping a line.. hey everyone. just was seeing how everyone was doing. just came back from massachusetts from a boring school trip. the only fun part about it was in the hotel where me and a few girls snuck in alcohol and drank like crazyness. i needed it. now im home but i didnt go to school today cus im tired and feel sick. i feel like i really have no energy left and im trying to hard to keep my relationship going with my b/f but its so fucking hard. i feel like i lost all that i had long ago and ill never be the same compared to what i once used to be. anyway ill stop complaining but i just wanted to let you all know im still here... barely.. byebye for now.. Current Mood: cold Current Music: cat heaven x jets to brazil (Comment on this)
9:27p	i cant take it nemore i was tryin to tell my mom and dad something and they juss didnt want to here me. that made me feel like shit. then i went up stairs and started to think. no one wants to here me. everyone would be better off without me... then i looked at where i keep my blade and i thought i want 2 so bad... but i cant. cutting is not the way to solve my problems. then at that very moment i changed the channel 2 mtv and that song by linkin park called numb. i watched the whole video and the second my house was clear i ran to get my blade. i couldnt stop myself. 4 new deep cuts. i juss sat and watched the blood make a lil pain filled stream down my arm. for a few seconds i didnt think about nething, i didnt feel nething. thats what i live for not to think or feel. i cant believe i did it again. i thought i could stop i thought i didnt need that shinny little piece of metal... i was wrong. seems like im always wrong... someday it will all end... i juss gotta live for the good times (if they ever come) hold on if u feel like letting go hold on its gets better than u kno.... i hope so. ~l8rz kris~ Current Mood: depressed Current Music: hold on~ good charlotte (5 Comments | Comment on this)
11:55p	i accidently cut my leg i nthe shower with the razor pretty bad. it wouldn't stop bleeding. the blood was running down my leg. it was so beautiful. i wanted to take a picture. i talked to that girl again. i think were all hanging out friday at my friends hosue to watch movies. bassicalyl the Simple PLan dvd... my friend wants to see it since shes obsessed with Dave hm.. then were watch Thumbtanic and The Blair Thumb.. shall be interesting. good news. i havent cut on purpose still since that one thursday. but i need to. i'm dying to. in gym i was talking to my friend the one who i told i cut. we were talking about the girl that slit her wrists. and she was like "how can you guys do that? doesnt it hurt?" i was like "nope." i didnt get to finsh what i was saying because the basketball was thrown at us.. time to play. i wanted to say "at times it hurts. but thats the whole point. to feel pain and at the same time release it." oh well theres always next time. i feel like were conected now since she knows. its weird to me how shes stuck with 2 people woh have the same problem. coincidence? who knows. -manda Current Mood: confused Current Music: Three Days Grace - I hate EVERYTHING about you... (1 Comment | Comment on this)

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