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Wednesday, November 26th, 2003
| Time | Event |
| 12:09a | Hey Guys Hey... I just wanted to write here, and let everyone know that I probably won't write here for a while. Everythings pretty crazy right now, and it's just hard to keep on top of things. I think about ya'll everyday, and love you guys more than life... I'll still read everything ya'll write everyday, and post when I can... I'll be back soon... :-) I love ya'll SOOOO much! -Mary Current Mood:  gratefulCurrent Music: Liz Phair "Why Can't I" |
| 1:15p | cos we all know that that's the sound of the streets! hey alll. blurty has been weird but i fixed it. kris+i are all good now. back together. idc if people talk shit about us. FUCK YOU! uhm yes i have a new therapist. her name is kim and she's like 27. she's SOOOO NICE AND EASY TO TALK TO. i love her.!@!@# kris is taking me to nyc on the 20th of dec. :D! i gave him all of my razors so i can't cut any more. and i think things are getting better. im in the library in millbrook. :D! it's kewl. i luff this town. i went to the bookstore and bought an american manga called The Kids ARE Allright haha. it's about ska kids!!!!!! ska kids are kewlllllllllllllllzzzzzzzzzz i also bought "speak" by laurie halse anderson and "thirst" by m.t. anderson. both look pretty good. :D good stuff... hope everyone's doing well. xjulie Current Mood:  hungryCurrent Music: Cockney Rejects x Oi! Oi! Oi! |
| 2:43p | yeh, today, half day...hells yes, my mom picked me up n we went to big y and bought grocery's then came home. then ive been sittin here since. me n my lil brother bonding i guess you could say, were watching lion king lol. so yeh, i gave steve a note asking him out and i told him to call me and im just like yeh...the phone hasn't run at all so unless he called while me n my mom were shopping, he hasn't called yet! lol im not that panicy, im just kinda anxious. but oh wells. im goin to my aunts house 2morrow fer thanks giving dinner, and in case i cant get on 2morrow then happy turkey day to you all! ^.^ lol. yum...turkey, id rather not go to my aunts house cuz we did last yr, and i wish we were eating here at my house, but oh well. i get to make pumpkin pie....yum...pie...lol, idk fer sum reason it doesn't feel like thanksgiving...maybe cuz there isnt a foot of snow on the ground like there was last yr...that sucked. i hate snow...well not really...i like snow, just not being cold and wet in the snow..now i kinda wish it was snowing, but oh well. lol snow. so yeh, i hafta go to the bathroom (cuz you all care so much lol) so ill ttyl! happy thanksgiving if i cant get on 2morrow! |
| 2:50p | oh yeh, i just want to put this in here cuz i don't feel like telling my friends, kyle knows, but i dont fell like tellin ne of my other friends, but this morning was just dandy. my mom was driven me n my dad to skool/work and the gas station was closed so we had to go to stop n shop plaza to go get money, then to a diff. gas station so my dad could buy ciggarettes and my mom could break a 20 to give me lunch money (even though there was no lunch today) and so im sitting in the car....and sitting......and sitting.......and sitting....then my dad comes back and i can tell he's pissed cuz he was walking fast then he almost rips the door off of the car opening it then almost shatters it closing it so hard, and i started to cry and he was like blah blah, cash regester guy is an asshole idiot, and im late for work, and i was trying not to cry and my mom comes out and gives me 5 bucks and shes like whats wrong and im like nothing...and she was like whats wrong em? and im like CAN I JUST GO TO SKOOl???!!!!??!?!! and shes like ok, jeez. and so she drops me off and i couldn't find anyone this morning, so i was running around trying to find ppl, and eventually i do, and by then i had stopped crying so i was just blah, and kyle was like whats wrong and im like nothing. and he gave me a couple of hugs and it was so hard to not cut ( im wearing a mini skirt type thing and i was like wallet....razor......leg, out in open...... *sighs* idk. its amazing how you can go from happy, to depressed and angry in the time space of 5 minutes....oh well. ill tty guys later. |
| 6:09p | *dies from the heat* omg its so hott in the room that i am in riight now...ugh! x.X anywayz.. I have been doing alot of thinking and....i have came up 2 the conclusion...that...cutting really dose not help me..i mean it feels good when im cutting and everything but....when im done and i come 2 the reality of what i have doen 2 mii-self, it juzt makes me more depressed....Does any1 know wa i mean? =/ eh idk i need 2 get over this and get better cuz being depress and cuttin is driving me nuts... i have not slept in 5 days!...well last niight i slept for like an hour and a half buh thats it in 5 dayz....mii mind will not stop thinking...i think im goiin crazyy lol... buh yea i juzt have 2 get over sum stop and stop dwelling on stuff that is not gonna change un-less i make it chANGE... -maygin Current Mood:  anxiousCurrent Music: 2marrow is mii last day in Aruba =] |
| 8:35p | A letter I just wrote this. I'm in a suicidal mood so yea. Tell me what you all think of it. It's for Andrew my ex but I still like him a lot and yea this basically says how I feel and what I'd write to him in a sucide letter if I was to tonight. To Andrew: I'm sorry to leave you on such a sad note. I never thought I'd ever actually 'do it' but I felt the need. Your the bestest thing thats ever walked into my life. You were always there when I need to moan about something going on, you always let me talk to you. You are something I never wanna forget. Your sweetness and all round kindness made me feel special. Your texts, our conversations, seeing you smile even if it's not at me made my days. You will always have a special place in my heart. Thinking of you made my day. I'll never understand it, why I had to let go of life? You help me through all those dark and stormy days. Let me go and I'll watch over you. I love you with all my heart, but deaths wings have called. I'm sorry, I really am. I love you but now I must say good-bye. Lisa Current Mood: sadCurrent Music: Aaron Carter - Without you (there'd be no me) |
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