[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends View]
Friday, November 14th, 2003
| Time | Event |
| 1:25a | name: Cristy age: 16 disorders: depression 0. Do you cut? yes 1. Who do you hide SI from? all adults and most of my friends 2. Who knows about it? A lot of people 3. How long has it been since you last cut? like 5 mins. 4. Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? yea 5. Where do you usually cut? forearms 6. When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? No one unles i slip up but ppl kno i do it 7. What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? My mom realizing 8. Do you have a fascination with scabs? no 9. Do you like scars, yes or no? yes 10. Do you name your razor? nope 11. What other methods of SI do you use? burning lots of thing 12. Do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? yeah kinda it sounds so... i dont kno... 13. What various ways do you use to hide cuts? longsleeved shirts, sweat shirts, crossing my arms 14. Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? sometimes 15. Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? yea 16. Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? during gym or when its hot 17. What's the best part about cutting to you? Helps with emotional pain 18. Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? yes 20. What instrument do you use to cut? razor 21. What causes you to cut? Me 22. What do you feel afterwards? calm and relived 23. What is your closest Close Call? No close calls just my mom actually finding out 24. How long have you been doing it? oh i'd say 6 years 25. Do you keep a razor in your bag? nope i dont want it to be found 26. Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? nope 27. Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? well the one friend i do talk to about this... 28. Are your parents divorced? Yes, but i would rather it be that way..but my stepdads an ASSHOLE Current Mood:  exhausted |
| 2:16p | squee~ im new! -Do you cut? yep -Who do you hide SI from? my parents...my boyfriend...teachers...people -Who knows about it? kayla..maygin..mike knows i *used* to..amy might...kerry might... -How long has it been since you last cut? last night -Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? no....i tried to forget everything once...it didnt work -Where do you usually cut? wrists, upper thighs,forearms -When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? kayla -What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? i was on a 4wheeler, and i hit a rock...and the haldel bar hit me right on my new cuts...gah -Do you have a fascination with scabs? not a fascination, but i like to pick at them -Do you like scars, yes or no? sometimes -Do you name your razor? no -What other methods of SI do you use? wrist banging, burning -Do you dislike the term "self mutilation?" its seems worse then it is -What various ways do you use to hide cuts? wristbands...sweatshirts and pants -Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? only if there noticeable -Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SIing? noop -Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? yeah, i used to...but i dont really care anymore -What's the best part about cutting to you? the adrenaline rush....and the satisfaction -Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? prolly -What instrument do you use to cut? razors, saftey pins, needles, knives and the like -What causes you to cut? my father, the way i feel about myself, depression, anger -What do you feel afterwards? empty..but in a good way -What is your closest close call? i was holding a tshirt against some cuts to get them to stop bleeding, i was downstairs cuz i was alone and my dad opened the door and i ran upstairs -How long have you been doing it? i did it in 6th grade, but stopped, but started again in august -Do you keep a razor in your bag? yup...its in my flashlight with my pills -Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? no -Do you have someone, like a therapist, you talk to regularly? kayla could be considered my therapist...but i want to go to a real one..i think i have borderline personlity disorder -Are your parents divorced? yes well hello every one. yes, im new here,so i would like to say hi to everyone... i suppoes it would be nice to give everyone some backround information about me...so here goes. im 14, soon to be 15 in like...3 months.lol.im a freshman and am on the crew team at my school...erm...my boyfriends name is mike, and i love him with all of my being, even tho he doesnt believe me. i dont have many friends, but the ones i do have are my best friends. i got my first tattoo in the second week of august, its a black and blue nautical star, and when i can get another one, im either gonna get the word "fate" written under it or a flaming heart on my left pelvic bone/hip thing.lol. and i like cheese...sorry i needed some random-ness in there. i lisiten to punk, ska, classic rock and some hard core...my 2 faveorite bands are NOFX and sublime. i love the rocky horror picture show. i think i have borderline personality disorder...or something along those lines...cuz theres something wrong with my mind...i just dont know what it is. Current Mood:  thoughtfulCurrent Music: kayla singing- give me one good reason-blink 182 |
| 2:19p | aww :( aww...on every survey i read...it asks if you name your razor...now..i never used razors...i used knives...i used to talk to them...but IF..i had a razor i would have named it...george...george would have gone everywhere with me...he would have been my little friend...my little friend named george...gotta show george the love...THE LOVE... |
| 7:24p | i like surveys... 0. Do you cut? i'm trying not to 1. Who do you hide SI from? i try to from everyone but myself and you guys 2. Who knows about it? a lot of people that i know have seen, grar 3. How long has it been since you last cut? 13 days i've been going strong... ish 4. Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? yes 5. Where do you usually cut? just about everywhere. wrists, arms, knuckles, thigh, calves, feet, torso, face etc. 6. When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? my best friend mark. 7. What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? having my friend grab me by the wrist during church and it bleeding through my shirt. 8. Do you have a fascination with scabs? no 9. Do you like scars, yes or no? very much so 10. Do you name your razor? i dont use razors a lot, so no, but i do name other utensils 11. What other methods of SI do you use? ripping my hair out, bruising, scratching, not eating, not breathing... 12. Do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? depends on who it's applied to 13. What various ways do you use to hide cuts? layers upon layers of clothing, concealer, and a straight face 14. Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? if they are obviously refering to SI then yes. 15. Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? nope 16. Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? yes, especially because i am very imvolved in sports 17. What's the best part about cutting to you? it causes pain 18. Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? yes 20. What instrument do you use to cut? razors SOMETIMES, nails, pins, compass, seam ripper, pencils, pens, knives, just about anything sharp. 21. What causes you to cut? myself. you cannot blame your actions on anyone else. 22. What do you feel afterwards? sometimes complete peace, othertimes disgust. 23. What is your closest Close Call? almost bleeding to death in my shower. 24. How long have you been doing it? about.... 8 years or so give or take a few months. 25. Do you keep a razor in your bag? no, but i don't carry around a bag. i always keep a paper clip in my pocket, it's sharpened though. 26. Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? no, i've been smart enough to do my research and make different kinds of surface cuts that cause more pain. 27. Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? i used to have loads. 28. Are your parents divorced? nope. thought it might as well put mine in here. j |
| 8:58p | I decided to fill one of these bad boys out since everyone else did. I'm a follower not a leader! 0. Do you cut? I haven't in a few weeks the harder thing ever, but i usally do 1. Who do you hide SI from? Everyone 2. Who knows about it? I think everyone 3. How long has it been since you last cut? maybe a month and a week (like 5 wesndays ago). I don't count becasue when i do cut i dont wanna kno how i made it until i fucked up 4. Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? no, i'm not that strong 5. Where do you usually cut? From my wrist to up my arm 6. When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? Joy 7. What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? My friend grabed my wrist and hit me really hard 8. Do you have a fascination with scabs? no 9. Do you like scars, yes or no? usally, sometimes they itchy 10. Do you name your razor? nope 11. What other methods of SI do you use? sometimes i throw up 12. Do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? no, i really don't mind it 13. What various ways do you use to hide cuts? wear longsleve shirts, hoddies all the time, or arm bands 14. Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? no i usally love my scars 15. Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? nope 16. Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? I did for a while becasue i used to twirl baton and i had to wear tank tops. 17. What's the best part about cutting to you? Blood is pretty, and i like the after effect and it takes away the pain 18. Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? yes 20. What instrument do you use to cut? razors, safty pins, Glass, and once i used this blade i found in school. 21. What causes you to cut? ME, there is reasons from other people but i choose too. 22. What do you feel afterwards? Usally i feel better and someone i just cry 23. What is your closest Close Call? never had one 24. How long have you been doing it? like maybe 2 years about almost. 25. Do you keep a razor in your bag? not anymore 26. Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? no 27. Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? no, but my firend Joy has been through this and helps me out 28. Are your parents divorced? they were never married and my father left when i was 2 I hope everyone is doing well... I am doing not too good but what can you do i guess. My mom is driving me crazy with everything going on her being the way she is, is killing me. and today was a bad day. I got int o a fight wiht my friend and we havnt been friend in a while. and today i had to have peer medation with her becasue she told me me, and lied to the teacher. She is crazy and now they are going to thin i'm crazy too. Current Mood:  aggravatedCurrent Music: POD Will You |
| 8:58p | I decided to fill one of these bad boys out since everyone else did. I'm a follower not a leader! 0. Do you cut? I haven't in a few weeks the harder thing ever, but i usally do 1. Who do you hide SI from? Everyone 2. Who knows about it? I think everyone 3. How long has it been since you last cut? maybe a month and a week (like 5 wesndays ago). I don't count becasue when i do cut i dont wanna kno how i made it until i fucked up 4. Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? no, i'm not that strong 5. Where do you usually cut? From my wrist to up my arm 6. When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? Joy 7. What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? My friend grabed my wrist and hit me really hard 8. Do you have a fascination with scabs? no 9. Do you like scars, yes or no? usally, sometimes they itchy 10. Do you name your razor? nope 11. What other methods of SI do you use? sometimes i throw up 12. Do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? no, i really don't mind it 13. What various ways do you use to hide cuts? wear longsleve shirts, hoddies all the time, or arm bands 14. Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? no i usally love my scars 15. Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? nope 16. Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? I did for a while becasue i used to twirl baton and i had to wear tank tops. 17. What's the best part about cutting to you? Blood is pretty, and i like the after effect and it takes away the pain 18. Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? yes 20. What instrument do you use to cut? razors, safty pins, Glass, and once i used this blade i found in school. 21. What causes you to cut? ME, there is reasons from other people but i choose too. 22. What do you feel afterwards? Usally i feel better and someone i just cry 23. What is your closest Close Call? never had one 24. How long have you been doing it? like maybe 2 years about almost. 25. Do you keep a razor in your bag? not anymore 26. Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? no 27. Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? no, but my firend Joy has been through this and helps me out 28. Are your parents divorced? they were never married and my father left when i was 2 I hope everyone is doing well... I am doing not too good but what can you do i guess. My mom is driving me crazy with everything going on her being the way she is, is killing me. and today was a bad day. I got int o a fight wiht my friend and we havnt been friend in a while. and today i had to have peer medation with her becasue she told me me, and lied to the teacher. She is crazy and now they are going to thin i'm crazy too. Current Mood: aggravatedCurrent Music: POD Will You |
| 9:52p | Hi, im new. My names kaity, Ive been cutting since I was 12.. im 15 now. Lets see my moms a christain nut, and my dads just a sex addict. My sister is perfect. I was raped when i was 6 by my uncle. My dad was sexually abused my his dad and my mom by her uncle. A long line of abuse and alcholism in the family. My parents found out about the cutting when I was 14 , but ive just now started seeing a physcologist. My mom freaked, and my dad took it pretty well. My dad tried to commit suicide last year, that was disappointing. As a result to the abuse by my uncle its no surprise I have relationship issues. Im paraniod always thinking my boyfriend is trying to pressure me to do things... and when were off at the movies when im with him sometimes i will hallucinate that hes raping me and then I'll make this big scene... I cant really explain it, Its so weird. Hes a champ for sticking with me when I know Ive probally embarrased him many times. I dont really eat, what I do eat I puke up. Im getting better about it.. hm.. Im a really shy and timid person, Im really passive. I have major control issues that I get from my ever so graceful mother. My grades suck, i always feel like crying or puking in school.. or both. Especially during P.E. because i feel so weak and tired i can barely do anything. Plus theres all those really skinny and pretty girls that can do anything. I read alot, even though my mother wont let me read the 5th harry potter book because she thinks there devilish... Im reading it anyways, its stupid for me to read the first four without reading the 5th. I cry alot, I sleep alot, and I read a lot. bout as interesting as it gets. Alot of girls cut in my school, but they do it to gain status and attention.. People these days enjoy being called a freak. But there cuts are so shallow i dont know why they bother. Welp i guess thats it... perhaps too long. Current Mood:  apatheticCurrent Music: senses fail - handguns and second chances |
| 10:48p | pizza? i think not.. ok so get this. my mother brought me home a square pizza. HELLO?!?!???!????????!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!? pizza is sapossed to be round. i dont care who's who...pizza is round. AND THE SLICES ARE NOT CUT IN SQUARES EVEN IF THE PIZZA IS ROUND, EITHER. ROUND PIZZA; TRIANGLE SLICES. phew ok got that out... lol anyway. now that im dun complaining about pizza...i havent cut since monday..but i keep having these dreams where ive got cuts all on my arms. see, thats my fantasy. is to do really deep really beautifull cuts on my forearm because ive never been able to, parents and all. so all my dreams ive had cuts on my forearm and theyre all really pretty, and i wake up jealous. *pouts* i think i want to stop but im not so sure. anyone here like being the fuct up depressed kid who loves pain? i dont know. sometimes i do love it and sometimes im like....wtf's wrong with me? moo..i dont know. im just chillen so my boyfriend is getting drunk with his ex girlfriend and shes sleeping over so she doesnt have to drive. uhm.....sex? yea thats what i thought. so im a little un-comfortable sitting here.....with my square pizza *shakes head* what is the world coming to? moo. im ganna go kids. im kinda frusterated *twitches* by yalls. ~beckay Current Mood: frustratedCurrent Music: IM WATCHING JACK FROST!!! wooot |
| << Previous Day |
2003/11/14 [Calendar] |
Next Day >> |