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Friday, November 7th, 2003
| Time | Event |
| 3:27p | New Hey everyone, I'm new to this community. It looks like a good place for me. Miranda Current Mood:  boredCurrent Music: Alkaline Trio - Bleeder |
| 3:37p | hey everyone...i hope that you are all doing well..i havent updated in awhile...i havent cut...since the 20th i think it was...:) now i just have to keep that up...i went to the doctors...and they didnt say anything really to me about it...they told me that from what they can tell the baby is doing fine...and everything is going good...:) YaY....i hope that you are all taking care of yourselves...take care... -tara- |
| 5:09p | life as it is life as it is a girl covered in chains drenched in relief her life it falls apart her heart it bleeds through open wounds feeding on her tears bleeding out the pain digging into her fears dressed in darkness with a rusted knife picking apart the pieces opening up her life draining out the anger numbing off the pain clogging up all the noise but the next day it all remains the same. things will never change. Current Mood: weakminded |
| 5:28p | They all came home from America yesterday. I didn't know if I was happy or not. Inside I was so worried about what was going to happen between me and Tom then finally he came online. I didn't start a convosation with him, I didn't want to annoy him really. I was kinda scared. Eventually he said Hi. Which I wasn't expecting. It seemed to get worse and worse. Apperently it seems that I haven't done anything wrong, but I have done so much to him that he realises that he is better off without me! WTF!! I don't get it. He was going on about how I am nothing that he doesn't respect me anymore, I just couldn't stop shaking, crying..................I felt like I was falling down and down and there was nothing there to stop me. And thats when I had enough. I ran into my room and just grabbed my razor. I didn't no what else to do. All that kept running through my head was why?i carved it into my arm along with his name. It made me hurt so much. All these feelings running through my body. I wanted to just run. Run away. To a place where no one knows who I am so I can start a fresh new life. I need to get this pain out of me. What I really want tho is to go an show Tom what pain really is, I want him to feel what I am feeling. So he knows what I am goin on about. I know that I have to get over him. I mean I will see him again, but I don't really know how to get over him. He will still be on my mind where ever I go and his name will will always be scarred on my arm. |
| 6:29p | Hello? I'm new here.. just thought I'd introduce myself. I'm a x-cutter, but who knows when and if that will change. I haven't cut since May and I'm proud. I found somebody who actually gave me the motivation to stop... but let's just say they've reccently walked away and left me sitting on the park bench alone. My motivation is gone and I'm trying hard to stay strong.. but that person was the reason for me to stop, yet now he's the very reason for me to start now. I have scars all over my calves, thighs, and wrists. When I was with him I would have done anything to make them disappear.. now I'm tempted to add to my collection. Somebody help me before I do something stupid.... again -Me Current Mood:  depressedCurrent Music: In My Place - Cold Play |
| 10:01p | the last time i updated, about my friend asking me to stop, i havent cut since then, but also, oddly enough, he hasn't talked to me since then. ordinarily that wouldnt bother me much, not with any of my other friends, but we talk every day. it's almost like a ritual, just like calling eachother about ten times within the course of an hour or so. i don't even know why. i suppose that he is angry with me. i am honestly too sleep deprived to notice all too much. it hurts, i'm not denying it, and i have to talk myself out of cutting every minute. i have to cut my nails so short that they bleed so that i won't scratch myself in my sleep (not that i've been getting any mind you) but it's so hard not to enjoy it. ah, sweet irony. j |
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