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Wednesday, October 29th, 2003
| Time | Event |
| 4:12p | im leavin on a jet plane, dont know when i'll be back again.... so yeah hwo is every 1 today? hhm i am fine and i cant type today so yeah... so what are all of you up to? me this is a much happier day... thank god for that... my cuts are healing yay! You know what really sucks? i have been with my b/f for 9 months, and i like this one guy chris (i mentioned earlier) and this other guy alex whom iva had a crush on since 7th grade... so yeah taht fuckin sux, but oh well... life is good today i get to go to a church thing for halloween and hangout with my friends... so yeah... well im going to go... bubye... Current Mood:  happyCurrent Music: Five Iron Frenzy, Far Far Away |
| 4:45p | yeh...me n my sister got into another fight last nite. cuz my brother tim was using what she claims to be 'her keyboard' even though its my dads and she was like don't waste my batteries stop playing it and so he starts taking out all of the batteries and she comes back in and said i said stop playing it! it means take ONE battery out not all of them and im like how was he supposed to know that and ill make this easier for everyone me: hows he supposed to know that carly: hes turning 11 he should know that me: who cares im turning 16 and i didnt know that carly: well thats because your a dumb blonde (me not offended at all) me: shut up ur a moron carly: you shut up at least i dont have suicidal friends (i was walking into the kitchen cuz i was thirsty) me: *shrugs wondering wut the hell she's talking about* so i got a drink and go into my room and start reading/ cutting the top of my wrist *i've yet to do my wrist part, im scared ill go too deep and bleed todeath* and my mom comes in a few minutes later and shes like blah blah whyd you call ur sister this this and this and im like uh..i didnt and explained what happend and i was like she has no rite to call my friends suicidal and my mom is like yeh carly her n amanda have been friends since who knows when *idk y she said that but ok* and carly was like im talking about kyle and randall! and im like oh god they dress funny there gonna go home and kill themselves! *all sarcastic like* n yeh. so carly was saying how she gets blamed for everything (i had to restrain myself from saying cuz you do everything) and why doesnt emily get in trouble! its always me! and my mom closed the door and a few min later she came in and was like blah blah, family falling apart carlys attitude isnt changing, sara isn't just taking a semester off shes quitting skool, tim has an ISS and i was teling dad that so far your not the only one i have a problem with (i was thinking 'oh i can give you a problem') and she wants just one day where no major things happen and im like oh i can give you one major thing. so yeh. my sister is retarded and im gonna kill her. yarg. she manages to screw up everything up and cuz of her and my older sister my parents are always mad and get angry if we do this one thing and then every one fights and i lock myself in my room so no one can get in then ppl get mad cuz the door is locked and i scream 'I GET THE ROOM GO AWAY!' and i sit in there and cry and cut. i hate my family. |
| 8:10p | weee so i havent cut mysel for 24 hours..yay new record..i had a reasobly good day..i cut all my classes except tec.ed cause we get to play with sharp objects..i went over my friends house ater school and we went up to the playground and snorted coac..funn..we cracked sex jokes until about 7 and i had to go home cause her mum was bein a phyco bitch agian.. i have poison ivy and its pissing me off..i just want to cut the hunk o skin where it is off..conviently its on my wrist...nothing really happpend today..i used to be good at writting like songs/poems/storys...but now its all gone to shit..thats all.. -spike Current Mood:  drunkCurrent Music: save ferris [x] the world is new |
| 10:49p | hey all - i haven't updated in this community for quite awhile (although i'm reading all of yours) - don't really know why. i've been cutting myself again off and on for the past few weeks. i haven't for about six days now. my upper arm is totally shot to shit - but i'm learning. put it in places that can be covered if you don't want to talk about it when people see it. aha. well, i got into a really huge fight with my ex-boyfriend three days ago, the one who had been cheating on me for the past two months behind my back, and we're not on speaking terms anymore. but i didn't hurt myself at all. kinda surprised myself - or maybe i just didn't care about him as much as i thought, and don't really care if he's in my life or not. instead, i got my left ear pierced like, all the way up in one day. it's sore as hell, but it kinda feels good, because i can hit it or something, and it hurts. almost as good as a cut or burn. i guess it's better than slicing a razor through my arm. i don't know. i'm starting therapy again - this time not being forced by my mom, as when i was fourteen, but something i decided on my own. i know what i've been doing isn't healthy, and i want to stop, so i figured this was the best way. at least i'll have someone objective to talk to. well, that's about it. hope everyone has a good next few days. |
| 11:01p | i missed you and will miss you guys more now hey all, i've recently switched to www.greatestjournal.com. so that's why i haven't updated in awhile.. i missed you guys so much so i had to do one last final post. well let's see i've been cutting so more lately.. for stupid reasons of course.. my hips are like bloody scarred and my left wrist has a little slash on the front and back of it.. i've been using a razorblade and safety pin. my life has been alright could be better but it's better than other days in my life.. i would like to thank you all for ur support since i joined here like so many months ago. you were all like my sisters and best friends. i really appreciated you guys! i also made a community on greatestjournal which i dedicated to all of you and named it whycut! ;] you all should check it out.. i just made it so i have no members yet but when i do i'll always tell them stuff you taught me! my gj- http://www.greatestjournal.com/~_invincible my community- http://www.greatestjournal.com/~whycut well i love you all and hold on and be strong have faith and rock on! this is my last post here ever. maybe i'll come back once inawhile to say hi and stuff but i'll keep all of you in my heart and prays. till then later ;] ---dani Current Mood: sadCurrent Music: 3 Doors Down; here without you |
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