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Thursday, October 9th, 2003
| Time | Event |
| 2:58p | School today Today in school the school social worker called my mom in and sat us down to talk to us both about me and my well being. I stood in the corner of the room, as far away as I could get from my mom and no joke, faced the wall the entire time. I promised myself I wouldn't cry and I knew that if I looked at my mom, I would because she hurts me so much. My mom found out about me cutting class and school yesterday. I just don't have the motivation anymore. I don't know what's going on. I just, I don't do anything. I'm not me anymore. I feel like someone invaded my body or something. I can't explain it. But, today, was horrible. My mom went on and on about how I don't have any responsibilities in life except school right now and how she doesn't understand why I can't just go to school. And how she doesn't really think I'm depressed. And even if I were, it has nothing to do with school. But it does. IT DOES! Why can't she see that I'm killing myself on the inside!? And the school social worker was telling my mom how I need help before they completely lose and and all I can hear is my mom saying "Mary's already lost me...." I couldn't believe she said that. She said that she's been there for me through this but I'm ungreatful and all this shit and that she can't keep trying anymore. But, she's a mother... that's her job. I don't get it. I'm going to freak out... I just wanna be myself again!! -Mary Current Mood:  crappyCurrent Music: Linkin Park "Numb" |
| 5:40p | we all sound so thrilled to be alive. i do too. i really really want to tell my mom bout my scars n shit, but im scared. i almost told my sister yesterday. but i didn't. i really need help guys, should i tell her? and i don't want comments like if you wanna, i want yes or no plz. ttyl |
| 7:00p | ello. hey all. this is jule, aka _angry_nerd_ new name. woop. if you play bass guitar, join "bassists_unite" MY COMMUNITY. yaaay. Current Mood:  okayCurrent Music: The Virus x I Believe In Anarchy |
| 11:05p | I’m sorry I can’t be who you want, I’m sorry I’m a failure, I’m sorry I just can’t get it right, I’m sorry that I cry myself to sleep at night, I’m just sorry, Sorry for being me, Sorry for being born, I’m sorrier than you can see, I’m sorry I don’t just die right now, I’m sorry I don’t have a clean room, I’m sorry that I act the way I do, I’m sorry for ever getting to know you, I’m just sorry, I deserve to die, I’m sorry for wishing I was an angel, High in your hearts sky, I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry for being me, I’m just so fucking sorry… I just wish you could see… I ran to my room, I lied down and cried, I wanted to die, And I still do… I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you, I’m sorry for all the years you put up with me through, I’m so fucking sorry for being who I am, I’m so goddamn sorry… I wont talk to you again… Current Mood: blah |
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