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Monday, October 6th, 2003
| Time | Event |
| 3:27p | . so yeh i was walkin down the hall today and this grl in my rotc class was like r u still goin out w/ damon n im like *in angry voice* no and she was like oh, cuz i saw him the other nite with a bunch of girls *she emphasized the word grls* and i was like thats lovely! *walked faster* and she was like yeh cuz they stole something from my neighbors yard and i was like on the verge of running i was on the edge of punching something or crying. and reddington comes over and were talkin n i see amanda n i was like im gonna punch something and chris was like whoa, its ok, its ok, do u need a hug, n im like yes, i think i do so i got a hug ^.^ weee! *felt loved* so yeh. idk. i need to get my mind off of damon. im getting better yes, but i still miss him oodles, and i need to get over that. im never going to have him back. i just cant get that thought outta my mind. i still think of him, but im getting better, i can think of stuff we've done and not feel as though i need to cry *shut up so maybe i had a few slight tears thinking about him in study hall but i stopped as soon as it started* like me n amanda were talkin bout forrest gump and i was like yeh, i saw that over damons house, cuz we had skipped out 6th per. final (me damon amanda, kyle, randall, eric, tom, some other kid) and we hung out from our break, then the 2 hrs of the final, had some sex by the river by the train station, went back to my house, went to his house, watched forrest gump, i went home @ 530 ate dinner was back @ his house round 630 lol and hung out til like 930.....*sighs* that was a fun day. oh well. so yeh. i need to move on w/ me life. idk. ill ttyl i guess, i've nothing more to say. good lyric- isn't this the best part of breaking up, finding some one else ya can't get enough of.....some one who wants to be with you too..... Current Mood:  okay |
| 3:34p | oh yeah i forgot to add that i started a new cut on my abdomen ^.^ weee! its not done yet, it hurt like a ghetto mofo fo shizzle man! so yeh, i got part of it done ill prolly finish it tonite. wee! fun no? |
| 6:44p | I don't update anymore ... Hey everyone.. sorry I haven't been posting much. It's not that I'm busy, I just, don't have enough drive in me to post anymore. I feel like I'm dead, and just taking up space. I've lost everything. My best friend Danielle and I are on thin ice... hardly best friends anymore, hardly even friends. I never see Jason. Maybe once a week for an hour or two if I'm lucky. And that's on a good week. I don't have any other friends that care about me really... my family is whatever. My mom isn't buying me a car because she doesn't want to spend over $10,000 on a car for me and the car I want is $11,000. But, then again, she bought my brother a Durango for $35,000 last year on his 16th birthday. Whatever... I just feel like I'm falling apart at a rapid pace. School is also a mess for me. I started cutting class a lot... and when I go to class, I don't take notes, I don't pay attention, and I'm doing horrible in everything except math. And the only reason why I'm doing good in math, is because math is extremely easy for me. I wish I had just one thing that could keep me going... keep me feeling alive. But, I have nothing. I went to the city yesterday and got a fake ID. And now that I'm not buying a car, I have all my birthday money to spend on whatever I want. Tattoos and piercings and lots of alcohol, here I come... -Mary Current Mood:  crushed |
| 8:39p | I've held off on cutting for a couple weeks now (except for a few...) but the alternative is a bit strange. I've been bringing along stuffed animals wherever I go. It's a new addiction. I can't stop it. Doctor appointments, friends' houses, even school. Strange eh? Just got one thing to say to you all - if any of you are interested in the gothic culture and have a GJ account, feel free to join the Gothics Anonymous Community. Thanks! I'll be back in about a week - miss you all :) |
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