Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in Andrew's Blurty:

Tuesday, June 17th, 2003
4:00 am	Suicide...? I don't understand. Why is it that when you're depressed you think about suicide? I just don't get it...I've got everything I want...but yet, I feel nothing. As iff there's nothing there...I don't know. What is there to do? I just need comfort...but how? I never thought I'd die alone I laughed the loudest who'd have known I traced the cord back to the wall No wonder it was never plugged in at all I took my time, I hurried up The choice was mine, I didn't think enough I'm too depressed to go on You'll be sorry when I'm gone I never conquered, rarely came 16 just held such better days Days when I still felt alive We couldn't wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over we'd survived I couldn't wait till I got home To pass the time in my room alone I never thought I'd die alone Another six months I'll be unknown Give all my things to all my friends You'll never set foot in my room again You'll close it off, board it up Remember the time that I spilled the cup Of apple juice in the hall Please tell mom this is not her fault I never conquered, rarely came 16 just held such better days Days when I still felt alive We couldn't wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over we'd survived I couldn't wait till I got home To pass the time in my room alone I never conquered, rarely came Tomorrow holds such better days Days when I can still feel alive When I can't wait to get outside The world is wide, the time goes by The tour is over, I've survived I can't wait till I get home To pass the time in my room alone <3 to Erin... Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Blink 182 - Adam's Song... (Comment on this)
Monday, April 28th, 2003
12:26 am	Wow. It's been....like months? Yeah. I've been grounded(and I still am) from the computer for the lasdt couple of months. Erin's birthday is in 12 days. I don't know what to get her. But I cant' say it here, since you know, she IS reading this. Well, I miss her. And I also want a guitar. I got a new CD player today. A CD/MP3 Player, so now I can play CDs with 164 songs on them and it has the name with is. It's 12:28 in the morning, not that tired. No school tommorow, because there is a field trip. I'm going to get my haircut tommorow, spikes, damnit, spikes. And dying it black. Both. And maybe some red tips. Maybe...But anyways, There's nothing to realy talk about. Well. I'm out. Later. (1 Gibson Les Paul pwns j00| Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 18th, 2003
12:13 pm	I miss Erin. Yeah. I miss Erin. Even though it's only been....2 days since I've seen her, I still miss her...alot....*sigh*...Oh well. I'm 600 miles away and there's nothing I can do about it. Well. I'm out. Later. Current Mood: horny Current Music: Weezer-Across The Sea (Comment on this)
Monday, March 10th, 2003
7:01 pm	Projects, Project,s Projects....-_- Wow, I have one GIANT project right now, one medium sized, and one GIANT one. Help me....O.O Meh, nothing really to say except I havn't slept in 57 hours....I miss Erin....alot....v.v Current Mood: awake Current Music: None (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 9th, 2003
1:55 am	Meh, lonely. *sigh* I miss Erin....It's about 2 A.M. on a Sunday morning...nothing to do....I miss Erin...alot...alot more than just alot... *sigh* Current Mood: lonely Current Music: Strong Bad-Strong Bad's Techno (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 6th, 2003
8:15 pm	Erin Ok, I bet you are all wondering who Eirn is and such. (too bad there's only like, two of you that read this?) Erin- First time I met Erin was some time in January. I wish I remembered the date that I met her, but you know, since I didn't know I would love her like this...-_- I got to know her, after about 3 weeks, then I started having feelings about her, I originally thought this was crazy, sicne I've never met her. Then I asked her what school she went to. She said Daniels, I was like O.O Really? Then she said yep. So I was like "Rock!" Then I saw her the first time. And might I say, she is the most beautiful girl in the world. Then I started finding more out about her. Then about 2 weeks before the Valentines Dance I asked her to the dance...she said yes. Then she said she couldn't because of soccer. So then I asked her to the dnace at the end of Freburary, last Friday, the 28th. She couldn't, becaseu of soccer. Then that night, she found out that soccer was canceled. If you ask me, I think it's... <.< >.> <.< *whispers*Teh conspiracy.... So anyways, then I got her a ring. This ring was given about....somewhere around Frebruary 21st. So I asked her later that day, she said she loved it. I thought she was jsut saying that but I now think that she does. Now, I think, she wears it everyday. Then the other day I decided to ask her out. She said no, because her parents don't let her date, because they are Catholic and all. Well, all I have to say about that is that her parents suck...=\ Well, it's been two days since I've been to school, well three. She was depressed the first day I was gone, because she thoghout I didn't like her anymore. In her journal (www.blurty.com/~WeezerEffect812) "I thought he was mad at me. He being Andrew. I was so confused, and depressed for that matter. My mind was totally not there yesterday. Which freaks me out because I'm rarely ever depressed, and certainly not over a guy. Usually I stick with, "If he doesn't like me, then why should I care?" But that's not working anymore. It's bugging me sooo much! I can't get him out of my head. I'm not concentraiting on anything anymore! And him not being at school for the past two days isnt helping! I dont know what I'm going to do!!!" That's exactly what it says. Well, she just signed off....this is scaring me. I think she might be mad at me.... My mom was here, Erin said bye and the usual. Then she signed off...without me saying bye....I feel so bad....very bad....but.... I lvoe you Erin. Current Mood: guilty Current Music: None (2 Gibson Les Paul pwns j00s| Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 5th, 2003
6:45 pm	No school. Well, today I had no school. I missed Erin most of the time, but there really is no point in that anymore, since there's no way I can have her. But, I worked on my report most of the day. Played my guitar the other half.... Sometimes I feel like all I have is my guitar, and my pick, but still, they aren't even mine.... Well, I need to make myself throw up, so I can not go to school tommorow. I still feel bad abotu pouring all my problems on Erin, really bad...that's why I would like to not see her, but I want to. Now this is a problem. Should I make myself throw up so I don't see her? OR should I just try and see her? Meh, my life, only if you understood...... I heard from Gina that she isn't coming online today. OH well, I really wanted to talk to her. Now to the good news...yet also bad... 1. I lsot my account, BLACKMAGE91 on GameFAQS because I tried to partly invade a board, yet start a "Board War" 2. I got anoth acocunt, GhostUnit414 and Kenami, GohstUnit account has 218 Karma XD, and Kenami has 420 Karma XD 3. I found out that Erin was actually depressed today, either because I wasn't there, or somethingelse. I just hope it was because I wasn't there, then I'd know how she felt about me. But this is also bad becuase I hurt someone I love, and this is partly why I feel bad.... Current Mood: Good, and Bad Current Music: Me Guitar-Good Life (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 4th, 2003
8:53 pm	Nothing. Well, today was one of the worst days. I got a note from Erin, it read..... Andrew- I'm really sorry! Se here's what happened between me and Tyler: We were going out, and he was acting like a jerk. It turned out that he was only using me to get to Gina, so I dumped him. We never "went out" on a date becuase I'm not allowed to date. It wouldn't be fair for me to go out with you because I can't go anywhere. MAYBE YOU CAN FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO CAN. I STILL LVOE YOU! Erin So, as you can tell, I'm both pissed, and I feel like I have no reason to be in this world at this moment. Not just becuase of this, but because of recent happenings. I would rather not say because then that would involve some stuff that I'd rather not go through, which would just get Erin and Steph mad at me, and make my life worse. So, I have come to the conclusion that my life is nothing. Current Mood: shity Current Music: none (Comment on this)
Monday, March 3rd, 2003
9:33 pm	Love and reality Well, today I relized the difference between love, and what is real. I have figured out that even though you love someone, that doesn't mean that you will be able to or are able to do anything with that person. Even if they love you back. Below is all I have to say about love, more details on why I relized this on my next update....v.v Is love more important then life? If it is, can we live without it? If we can, then why do we love? To kill our hearts, to destroy what's left of us? Why do us humans, and any other animals for that matter have to feel this pain? Why couldn't have Adam and Eve been nice people, and not ate form that damn tree?! I no realize why so many people are always mad, because they aren't loved enough. The answer to most of your problems, is love. And if that doesn't work, your only option is..... 5u Current Mood: There is no love worth having Current Music: None (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 2nd, 2003
8:01 pm	Yet again, today. So, I got up today at about 12. Nothing to do. I turn on my TV and on the TV is the best movie EV4R!! Shawshank Redemption. I watched it. Then I went downstairs at about 1 and ate some cereal called "Smorz" Not the best thing in the world. Then I come back up to watch Triple X, since I missed half of it yesterday. I figure out my DVD remote is missing O.O OMGWTF><0RS!!! So then Matt comes storming in coming from driving lessons and then he helps me find my remote. We never did. So then I meep, and find out that we have McDonalds. I coem down, I find two chicken sandwich thingies. I say to the rents "This is NOT a 20 piece nugget......." And they say "=\" So then I steal the parent's food and run upstairs and eat it. I'm EEEEVIL. Then I go outside and wh00p some kids at basketball. I won everytime. ^_^ At knock-out and streetball. I am j00r god, you know it! Anyways, I come in and no one is on. Then I play my MAD 1337 guitar skills and then Erin get's on. I talk to her, there isn't much to talk about. Just because it's Sunday, and Sunda'ys suck. So, Now, I'm here doing this, since I have no life...And go here, if you are an idiot. This WILL screw your computer up...... www.youdontknowwhoiam.org Current Mood: good Current Music: My 1337 guitar skillz ~ Korobeiniki (THE TETRIS SONG!!!!!!!) (2 Gibson Les Paul pwns j00s| Comment on this)
Saturday, March 1st, 2003
8:15 pm	Ok, so I got up at 9:05 A.M. I got dressed, went to my computer to see who was online(My AIM screen name is W33zer4life since WeezerForLife was taken already =/) No one was online. Then I played guitar(Aria Pro II, not that great, but good enough for now) I played some of the songs I knew then started playing my own song, random notes and chords. So then Erin got on. Somewhere near 9:30 A.M. I talked to her, then she had to go eat. Acting like an idiot, I didn't eat when I had the chance. So then I look at my buddy list and see that she had signed off without saying bye. I worry, thought I'd done something wrong. So then I begin to play guitar, yet again. Then my aunt and uncle rang the doorbell. I find that we are leaving, it was then about 10 A.M. I havn't eaten breakfast. I worry, pop a hot pocket in the oven...mmmmmmmh hot pocket...anyways. I eat it on the way with my trusty Dr.Pepper by my side. We are going to move my uncle's wife's grandmother. We get there and we start moving. I realize that we aren't moving from retirement hoemto real house but from retirement home, 100 feet away to the same retirement home, just different room, alot smaller too. After about 3 hours, my uncle Bobby comes up to me and says, "Yo! Here's $40 for the work." As an idiot, yet trying to be polite, "Uh...no thanks, I'm fine." He said back to me "Take it now!" So I panic and take the money, hoping I did the right thing. Well, doens't matter now, I have the money! ^_^ So anyways, I get back, no one important is on. So I go to my step brother Matt's room and we thwart our guitars playing different songs. Mostly Weeer and Floyd. Then uncle bobby come back, as we are cooking pizzas. He brings over XXX(Not a porn movie, Triple X, not pr0n, some nudity, BUT IT'S CENSORED O_o) So anyways, I watch the movie, not that great of a movie, but Ven played his character awsomely(a word? no? then perfectly) I was surprised. Everyone else sucked. And he did do some impossible things such as jump over a 20 foot fence with no jump on a Kawasaki KX probably a 2003. O_o I dont' know how, but I bet there was some camera tricks involved. So anyways, we jam, yet again,. working on Say It Aint So. Me playnig the rough parts, (rough sounding, such as the chorus and some other parts) him playing the clean parts(such as a clean sound, the begginging and end and basicaly the middle) Then we switch around on parts so it sounds better, with me paly backup, chorus and a part between choruses and then Erin gets on. I talk to her. Nothing really happening. Just trying to get her to get a diary. AND IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS LIVE JOURNAL INSTANT MESSAGE ME AT w33zer4life!!!! Thank you. Off to go talk to Erin and play more guitar. Current Mood: Happy and Accomplished Current Music: Me + Matt playing Say it Aint So~Weezer (Comment on this)
7:54 pm	Today Ok, so I got up at 9:05 A.M. I got dressed, went to my computer to see who was online(My AIM screen name is W33zer4life since WeezerForLife was taken already =/) No one was online. Then I played guitar(Aria Pro II, not that great, but good enough for now) I played some of the songs I knew then started playing my own song, random notes and chords. So then Erin got on. Somewhere near 9:30 A.M. I talked to her, then she had to go eat. Acting like an idiot, I didn't eat when I had the chance. So then I look at my buddy list and see that she had signed off without saying bye. I worry, thought I'd done something wrong. So then I begin to play guitar, yet again. Then my aunt and uncle rang the doorbell. I find that we are leaving, it was then about 10 A.M. I havn't eaten breakfast. I worry, pop a hot pocket in the oven...mmmmmmmh hot pocket...anyways. I eat it on the way with my trusty Dr.Pepper by my side. We are going to move my uncle's wife's grandmother. We get there and we start moving. I realize that we aren't moving from retirement hoemto real house but from retirement home, 100 feet away to the same retirement home, just different room, alot smaller too. After about 3 hours, my uncle Bobby comes up to me and says, "Yo! Here's $40 for the work." As an idiot, yet trying to be polite, "Uh...no thanks, I'm fine." He said back to me "Take it now!" So I panic and take the money, hoping I did the right thing. Well, doens't matter now, I have the money! ^_^ So anyways, I get back, no one important is on. So I go to my step brother Matt's room and we thwart our guitars playing different songs. Mostly Weeer and Floyd. Then uncle bobby come back, as we are cooking pizzas. He brings over XXX(Not a porn movie, Triple X, not pr0n, some nudity, BUT IT'S CENSORED O_o) So anyways, I watch the movie, not that great of a movie, but Ven played his character awsomely(a word? no? then perfectly) I was surprised. Everyone else sucked. And he did do some impossible things such as jump over a 20 foot fence with no jump on a Kawasaki KX probably a 2003. O_o I dont' know how, but I bet there was some camera tricks involved. So anyways, we jam, yet again,. working on Say It Aint So. Me playnig the rough parts, (rough sounding, such as the chorus and some other parts) him playing the clean parts(such as a clean sound, the begginging and end and basicaly the middle) Then we switch around on parts so it sounds better, with me paly backup, chorus and a part between choruses and then Erin gets on. I talk to her. Nothing really happening. Just trying to get her to get a diary. AND IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS LIVE JOURNAL INSTANT MESSAGE ME AT w33zer4life!!!! Thank you. Off to go talk to Erin and play more guitar. Current Mood: Happy and Accomplished Current Music: Me+Matt playing Say It Aint So (Comment on this)