||[30 Jun 2003|12:17am]
Hey I'm sleepy long day tell ya later.. <3 ren..
-*-She's gone bakk tah her rootz-*- HANNi
||[30 Jun 2003|08:09pm]
Hey you all! I'm actually having a good day. I woke up this morning and got my hair done - highlights and we lightened my eyebrows and got them done. heh. Then I let out everything to Abby about how I felt and shit - which was awesome. The other day we Andrew and I were fighting he was like maybe you should get counseling and I've been there and done that. I found my notebook from my sessions were we had to write poems here's a few :.From Lauren's <3.:
-*-Stone by Stone-*-
I have a wall you cannot see.
Because it's deep inside of me.
It blocks my heart on every side.
And helps emotions I have to hide.
You can't reach in.
I can't reach out.
You wonder what it's all about.
The wall is built so you can't see.
Results from my insecurity.
Each time my tender heart was hurt.
The scars within grew worst and worst.
So Stone by Stone,
I built a wall.
That's very thick and will not fall.
Please understand it is not you --
Continue trying to break though.
I want so much to show myself.
And love from you will definately help.
So bit by bit
Chip at my wall.
Till Stone by Stone starts to fall.
I know the process will be slow.
It's never easy to let go.
Of hurt and failures long ingrained.
Upon my heart from years of pain.
I'm so afraid to let you in.
I know I might get hurt again.
I try so hard to break the wall.
But it seems to get nowhere at all.
So Stone by Stone I have stacked.
And left between them not a crack.
The only way to make it fall is imperfections in the wall.
I did my best I could to build.
A perfect wall but there are still.
A few small flaws, which are the key.
To breaking through the wall into me.
Please use each flaw.
To cause a crack.
To knock a stone off the stack.
For just as Stone by Stone was laid.
With every hurt and every pain..
So Stone by Stone the wall will break.
As love replaces every ache..
Please be the one who cares enough
To find the flaws, no matter what.
-<3-For Andrew-<3- *my angel*
I had a difficult time in therapy so our assignments were poems #2
You came into my life.
Needed a friend.
I held u close and let u see within.
We were alway the bestest friends and cared so much.
Then why did you want my boyfriends nuts?
I never would expect you'd do me wrong.
But hell look how much I know about you.
You get guys by parading in a thong.
You are nothing to me but the bad part of my pass.
I can't believed I liked you.
All I did was kiss your ass.
I needed a friend and you showed me the way.
I guess I chose the wrong one because you weren't a friend you just needed me to get your way.
You are nothing but a freak nasty.
You sleep around.
Exspecially with my man.
Hell who can trust you?
I guess no one can.
Fuck you Miss. I'mma Virgin.
I hope you get herpes and someone hurts ya.
<-For a Hater->
Heh I'm glad I got that off my chest!! <3-laur ludwig be bakk later!
||[30 Jun 2003|10:48pm]
I just talked to Andrew. He's my Drew-Bear.
He understands me!!! Atleast someone does. I'm veru happy. I really don't want anything to ever happen between us and I just needed him to know that. Well I love him that's all that matters.
I love Andrew Oppal [with all my <3]
I <3 you!!