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Sunday, March 16th, 2003
4:41 am - A post!
Well somebody call fucking Staind because it's been a while. Yes, I know I'm painfully hilarious.

I realized today that I have just been keeping up with my friends' journals, replying to their posts and whatnot, and not written in mine in 2 months or so. So somebody better goddamn respond to my post here!

I have to start work again on Monday. Boo. Hiss. I enjoyed my month off..mooching off Jeremy..sleeping until 3 in the afternoon. But having some money coming back in will be good. And I'll be working with Jeremy again. So. So yeah.

My Spring Break already fucking sucks. I have to start back work this week. I have a book to read. I have a paper to write. And I have some bullshit assignment from one of those professors that starts with, "Well since you all will have a week off from school, I'll give you this assignment so you'll have something to do." Something to do? Yes, since my entire life revolves around your one class, please PLEASE give me homework or I will be bored shitless! Moron.

I'm moving in 3 months. And I've already packed a lot of shit up. I'm beyond ready to get the hell out of here.

I'm hungry. But it's almost 5am. And if I eat, I won't be sleepy anymore. And I kinda want to sleep. And I love how this is the most important decision I have to make at the moment.


..sleep wins.

current mood: sleepy
current music: Garbage

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Tuesday, January 14th, 2003
1:18 pm - An actual entry! Hoorah!
So. I'm happy. I haven't been happy in what..years? Quite a while. And I've been happy for almost a month straight. Jesus fucking god. I'm impressed.

Jeremy told his mom I'm his soulmate. Soulmate. I never believed in soulmates. But he does. And that makes me happy.

He's moving away with me in May. A new beginning. Out of this pathetic town. Away from these pathetic people. That also makes me happy.

I've always been anti-marriage.

I would marry Jeremy tomorrow.

And have his babies.

And I don't much like children.

Love's a beautiful fuck-over.

current mood: awake
current music: computer hum

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Monday, January 13th, 2003
2:25 pm

take the "what's my fault" quiz.

(and then browse around because laura is cool.)

I don't post in almost 2 weeks and when I do, it's a bloody quiz.

And it says I'm devilishly mean.


current mood: giggly
current music: Placebo

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Wednesday, January 1st, 2003
3:16 am - Neat.

Which Rock Chick Are You?

current mood: bored

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Tuesday, December 24th, 2002
3:41 am - Hmmm.
I haven't posted in a while. I guess because I never seem to be at home anymore.

Or I just have nothing to write.

Or I just haven't really slept in about 2 weeks.

Or I just have too much going on in my head to try to get it to make sense.

Or maybe all 4.

I feel strange. I feel crazy happiness but I'm a bit timid about it. I've done nothing but work and be with Jeremy for a little while now. (And I guess for anyone that keeps up with my journal..yes, he kicked his bitch to the curb..and yes, we're together now. So clap. Or something.) Even when I'm at work, Jeremy is almost always there, too. So we haven't really been apart. Which is fine.

We technically started "dating"..or whatever.. 4 days ago. Four. And I'm goddamn scared because I'm falling in love with him. And this scares me because 1 -- um, 4 days ago.. and 2 -- I thought after Clint, love was too fucked up for me. I was apparently wrong about that last one. Which is actually a bit of a relief.

I could tell Jeremy I love him tomorrow and not be lying.

He could become everything to me tomorrow and I would never look back.


But at least he feels the same way. So that takes a bit of the edge off. I haven't really thought about Clint in a while. I feel like I want to thank Jeremy for that. But I don't know how. Healing me and making me get over Clint has saved me. I've always felt broken..and with Jeremy, I feel fixed.

I don't think timid was the right word earlier. I think I'll just stick with happy.

And I think I'll tell him all this tomorrow.

And get some sleep.

current mood: content

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Wednesday, December 18th, 2002
2:17 pm - An observation
On my last 3 journal entries, my mood has been "amused". Interesting.

I'm definitely not complaining. It's enjoyable to feel good again.

High five for amusement.

current mood: good
current music: TV

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2:15 pm - Yay!

Which One of Davey Havok's Body Parts Are YOU?

Again... Yay!

current mood: amused
current music: TV

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Tuesday, December 17th, 2002
12:15 am
moderate madame

You Are a Moderate Madame!

You've heard of occasional vegetarians, who mainly prefer vegetables, but just
can't resist their needs for meat once in a while.

That's how kinky sex is for you.

No one would dare classify you as prude.

You've done your share of experimentation, and you've found some things you like.

Are *You* Kinky? Click Here to Find Out!

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Well. How bout that.

current mood: amused
current music: Switchblade Symphony

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Sunday, December 15th, 2002
3:34 am - Hooray for AIM.
FrankieTuTone: can nice lauren come back now?
FrankieTuTone: i feel insecure
MainstrmReject: she was never here.
MainstrmReject: i killed her.
MainstrmReject: yup.
FrankieTuTone: yes, so what did you do with the body
MainstrmReject: ate it.
MainstrmReject: with a spork.

current mood: amused
current music: Minor Threat

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2:23 am - Something tastes bitter.
So I'm ready for Jeremy to kick his annoying girlfriend to the curb. And of course run off with me. Because he's lovely. And she is dirt.


I woke up about a half hour before I had to be at work today. Yes that was an extreme goodtime. Hooray for too fast showers and no time for food and hair that will not cooperate. Fun!


And then work sucked. And I got a headache.

Frank has a really cute smile.

And a girlfriend.

And I have hair that won't cooperate.


current mood: grumpy
current music: Zwan-Broken Heart

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Friday, December 13th, 2002
1:45 am - I'm stupid.
How did I forget Antonio Banderas was in Interview with the Vampire? And why until today did I think it was Interview with a Vampire?

I'm embarrassed of myself.

So I finally got around to getting a new computer yesterday. And I bloody well love it. It's insanely fast and very pretty. So hooray.

Finals are finally fucking over. Now I have a month or so until next semester. I plan to sleep until at least 2pm every single day.

It's been almost 5 days since I've missed Clint. And I'm goddamn excited about it, too. I didn't think I could not miss him. I had decided it was an impossibility. But something went off inside me about 5 days ago and I just suddenly stopped. And I am completely ok with that. Of course if he was to call or if I was to see him, he would become my world again. I'm pathetic like that.

Ah well. I'm off to kitchen raid.

current mood: okay
current music: the tv

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Wednesday, December 11th, 2002
2:48 pm
AND I added new pictures!

Another hoorah!

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2:45 pm - I am the smartest girl alive!
Ok so maybe I'm not THE smartest girl alive, but I feel like it. Kind of. I made my little journal here nifty. I like it. So hoorah for me. It isn't as easy to read as it was when it was boring, but I don't care! I love it.

current mood: pleased

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12:14 pm
What swear word are you?

brought to you by Quizilla


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Tuesday, December 10th, 2002
2:34 pm - Good times.
I had my History final today. It went well. I was surprised. For some reason, I completely forgot what Deism was, but I seemed to know the rest.

High five for me.

I wore my new pants today. Got home and realized there was a slight tear in the seam of the right lower leg. I barely noticed it so I'm not sure whether it was there when I bought the pants or if I managed to slice them up already. But the seamstress in me took over and I stiched the bitches right up. Good as new..or better than new if they came with the tear.

I found something the English whiz in me enjoyed today. I'll put it here so anyone reading this can enjoy it, too.

Off to work.

current mood: accomplished

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12:25 am - an encounter with a pop whore
Someone asked me today if I was trying to be Pink. I was amused. And a bit annoyed. But mostly amused.

Chick: So you want to be Pink?
Me: I'm rather partial to black. But I hate to pick favorites.
Chick: Uh what?
Chick: I'm still talking to you.
Me: Proceed.
Chick: You don't know who Pink is?
Me: Mmhmm.
Chick: So do you want to be her?
Me: Why?
Chick: Your hair looks like hers. (My hair is black with a few burgandy-ish streaks..or something..I wasn't aware Pink's resembled it.)
Me: Oh then I *must* want to be a pop star.
Chick: Yeah, you must.
Me: Yes, let's please get this party started, Britney.
Chick: My name's not Britney.
Me: No? But you have blonde hair. So you must be Britney Spears.


So after that big fun, I went to meet Becky to go be giddy round the town. I got a new pair of pinstripe pants. I have 3 now. These are black with red stripes. These are nifty. I'm wearing them tomorrow.

Then I spent a bit too much time in the bookstore...realized I had no more money..begged Becky to buy me a book (she didn't)..went home.

I have my History final tomorrow. Hooray. I should maybe glance over the material.'s not until 12:30 tomorrow. I'll look at it in the morning.

current mood: blah
current music: Mazzy Star

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Sunday, December 8th, 2002
11:03 pm - sweettarts are yummy
This cute boy at one of my tables tonight left me some sweettarts as part of my tip. I was quite happy about it, too.

I'm starting to feel better. Finally. I'm really trying to let go of a lot of shit and learn to just breathe and be me and stop focusing. So far it's going well. I was a bit afraid if I held on to stuff any longer, I would possibly explode. And that's doesn't sound like all that much fun.

I was supposed to have practice with the new band tonight. But Cay couldn't get his shit together so we're going to shoot for tomorrow night. I'm still working on a name. I'm thinking about Broken August right now. But I'm such a goddamn perfectionist about some things that it may take me a while to decide on a final one. That is the reason I haven't gotten around to getting any tattoos yet. I'm a bit afraid that once I get them, I'll decide I wanted something else and then be angry. But I want to get my sleeve done.. so I can pick a few. That should work out nicely.

I think I'm going to go play on AIM now..and find myself some actual food to eat. No offense to the darling sweettarts of course.

current mood: calm
current music: Poe

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10:42 pm - stupid quizzes.

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?

brought to you by Quizilla


current mood: bored

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Friday, December 6th, 2002
9:55 pm - Don't lose your head, Augustus, we wouldn't want anyone to lose that.
I didn't make as much money at work tonight as I would of liked, my pizza is cold, I'm trying to get a headache, and my plans for tonight fell through. But I don't care because good ole Willy Wonka is on tv. I love this movie.

I've got finals next week. I'm not looking forward to them. Only one will be difficult though so that's good. History just might kill me. It appears you need a memory for that class. I'm lacking that.

Ah well.

I think I'm going to go feed my pizza to my dog, grab a bath, then finish my movie. Maybe I'll post a better entry later.

current mood: content
current music: oompa loompas

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10:48 am - Orange juice is yucky.
For some reason, I woke up at fucking 10:30 this morning. I never wake up this early when I don't have to. I tried to get back to sleep.. no luck. Ah well.

I'm stealing this from my new pal who stole it from someone else. I thought it was neat.

I love...not waking up at 10:30

I hate...entirely too much

I fear...spiders, the dark, getting stabbed in the shower (i should of never been allowed to wath Psycho), people i love dying

I hope...I make lots of money at work tonight

I hear...The Discovery Channel. "Surprise by Design" This show makes me laugh

I crave...breakfast.

I regret...more than I should

I cry...entirely too often.

I care...enough to have an opinion, but not enough to put any words into action

I always...have chocolate chip muffins for breakfast

I nothing

I feel alone...period

I listen...only to things i find important

I hide...too often.

I drive...a '99 Corolla

I sing...yes, i do.

I private

I write...poetry, journal entries.

I play...pretend.

I miss...Clint, my gramma, people who listen.

I learn...everyday

I feel...little.

I know...that i'm not little

I say...stupid shit.

I being rude

I dream...the same dreams over and over and over

I wonder...why the woman in my Socio class that used to tell me I needed Jesus, told me she thought my hair looked good and "punk"

I goddamn muffin! i'm hungry.

I have...big brown eyes and legs that go on for miles. that's right.

I presents?

I a mother fucker.

I get a life

current mood: amused
current music: the tv

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