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Sunday, May 7th, 2006
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12:08a - Big Saturday Night
Well, it's shortly after midnight and the best thing I've got to do is sit on my computer.
Now I remember why I hated junior high so much. It appears that I've bottomed out. I'm a loser. Put a fork in me; I'm done.
On the brighter side of things, Kobe Bryant just had his ass handed to him in game seven of the NBA's opening round playoffs. The Phoenix Suns overcame a 3-game-to-1 deficit to send the ignorant fuck home where he can continue to be an asshole. Who knows? Maybe even rape some chicks.
LeBron James, referred to from here on as "a fucking stud with a ten foot rod", engineered a Cavalier victory in the first round against the Washington Wizards. Gilbert Arenas had a nine and a half foot cock in a losing effort, but in the end it was the chosen one's cock that he was choking on.
It's been awhile since I've updated and that's because I had a life up until now. I'm working at Dollar General, a drunken piss away from where I'm sitting. I fuck around all day, which is lucky because I don't get paid shit. All the money goes to YSU anyway; luckily next fall is my last semester there.
Finals are coming up, and that's part of the reason for my ailing social life. I'm studying for a major test in Applied Pathophysiology, which is about as fun as it sounds. Needless to say, I'll be drinking heavily after Wednesday when it's all done with.
Speaking of which, next Sunday is my 21st birthday. Mother's day, haha. That Saturday night we're gonna be doing the crawl starting at Kuzman's around 8:30. If I drink to the point of death, I will have had a decent life. Not a bad way to go out, really.
I have fallen behind on the 100 posts for my birthday thing. I think this is like 96. That means I have to kick some ass and update this week.
The current jams are Bruce Springsteen and Weezer, but I'm not sure that Weezer ever comes off the list. The Green Album has been getting plenty of play lately.
My puppy Molly turned two last month, meaning that she's no longer technically a puppy. Supposedly, puppies become dogs after two years. But I say fuck that. She's my little poopers and if you don't like it, go kiss on LeBron's ten footer.
Mike Metzger, "the gadfatha", just jumped over the fountain at Caesar's Palace. He did a fucking backflip right over it. The first person to attempt this was Evil Kneivel, only he didn't do a backflip. Kneivel cleared the fountain but crashed on the landing. He was in a coma for twenty-nine days. Years later, his son Robbie Kneivel pulled off the jump.
Metzger became the first person to clear the fountain, execute a backflip and stick the fucking landing. That's pure insanity. Maybe the sport of motocross will start to get more of the recognition it deserves. I became a big fan pretty much when my cousin Jeff began writing for Racer X. He's now the Senior Editor and the Webmaster over at racerxill.com. I would link that but I'm feeling lazy. Plus it's not that hard to type it in your addy box. You can also check out his blog at cigarettesandcoffee.com.
I bought a new cell phone today, because my old one sucked. It's an LG 1400i, which I had no intention of getting. But upon further review, I like the fucking phone. And I'm sick of having a Motorola. And everyone and their cousin has a Nokia.
That's about it. I'm gonna watch the rest of NBA Fastbreak and worry that I'm missing something tonight. Join us next time when I tell jokes and you don't laugh.
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