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Monday, January 16th, 2006
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3:09a
There's an interesting article on ESPN.com, under the page 2 section. I'm too lazy to provide a link for you, but how hard can it be? It's a semi-scientific study called the "misery index" that measures each NFL and major league baseball team and its fans misery.
Needless to say, the beloved Cleveland Browns topped off not only the football poll, but achieved(?) the highest score in either poll. The Indians faired much better, placing second behind only the Chicago Cubs. Had there been a basketball survey conducted, here's guessing that the Cavaliers would have finished at least number two; they've never even won a conference final... ever.
Ah, the pain and misery of devoting a certain part of your life to losers and shams. I don't know, maybe it's me but there's something about misery that really makes you feel whole. Kind of like you're broke, but you did spend all your money on booze and other vices.
Which leads me to next point of order: booze and other vices.
There are less than four months until I turn 21, which happens to be the legal drinking age in the United States. This means that I won't have to worry about being convicted of disorderly conduct any longer, which is always nice. Another great vice that we celebrate in our culture is gambling. If there were ever a time for gambling to make a "resurgence", it appears that time is now.
I blame (credit, rather) last year's NHL strike. When the hockey went away, the poker championships re-runs actually received better ratings than the games had been getting to that time. It's amazing that viewers were oddly consumed with watching the same men play the same game of poker more than once. Soon, everyone knew who Phil Hellmuth was. Many people bought his book; friends began having poker tournaments (*It should be noted that friends also accused friends of cheating, despite having little proof).
As I walked through the aisles of one store the day after Christmas, I came across several poker sets. Of course I bought one. You've really got to hand it to poker. I mean, really, the Cyndi Lauper's of the world become afterthoughts but there's something about taking someone else's money through semi-sportsmanship that gets the blood going.
I'm trying to avoid political discussion, as the last entry was filled with jargon and ass-talking. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I do want to say that Jack Murtha was on 60 Minutes tonight, and I didn't catch it but the parents did. We really should be examining closer what Murtha is saying, no matter if there are ulterior motives or not. At least somebody with some sort of power wants these soldiers home.
I finished reading Michael Moore's book, "Dude, Where's My Country?" It was well written; funny and sad at the same time, like an Al Franken book.
I'm going to stop right there.
The Cavaliers have been eating ass for the last week, and in no way is that enticing. Ever since the glue, Larry Hughes, was injured the Cavs have won only one game. What the fuck? Is there no end to the persecution of my people? Even LeBron James can't make it all happen for me. Maybe I'm asking too much, but damn... a Cleveland team hasn't won a championship since 1964. Hell, they've only made it to two combined.
Yesterday, Beth invited me to come over her aunt's house for a family get-together. The food was great and plenty... I attacked the shrimp and the chocolate-chip cookies in particular. That's a pretty good combo, really. Afterwards, we came back to my house and did some fondu with the parental unit. They bought me a fondu set for Christmas, and we christened it yesterday with steak and chicken. It's a pretty nifty piece of work. Good for bullshittin' and eating and games and all that shit.
Good for drinking, I would bet, but not for excessive drinking. Given my friends, it would be downright terrible for that. If somebody didn't light somebody else on fire on accident, they might just as soon do it on purpose. And then again, maybe it's a good thing afterall.
Well, I'm spent. I'll be back soon to talk. Goodnight.
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