Blurty for wannabe87.
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Saturday, June 14th, 2003

Time:8:54 am.
Mood: depressed.
Was reading and yet got depressed once again. Realizing, hey, they're all leaving, they're all happy for once, they don't need me, my worst fear of being baggage - is prolly true. And when I think about it, maybe Im the cuase. Maybe it's me he wants to get rid of, I've only tried to be postive. Yes, once I was angry at him, who knows whos mistake it was - i don't really want to know. The fact remains, they strating they're lives. It's great, Im thrilled for all of them. They're all smart and great people, but still...they're leaving. Im going to miss them. A Lot. The the class of 2003 - I Love You All.
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Time:11:00 am.
Mood: annoyed.
Okay, I know im sheltered and I live is suberbia hell. But im telling ya, if JUST ONE of you tells me an optimistic no-idea-of-the-outside-world-chic Im will go balistic - and I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. Serioulsy, IM NOT. I know what the world is, I know it sucks, and it's hard. But it doesn't have to be that way - you make it that way. Ashley, Im telling you - you are a great guy and even though you think i have no fucking clue what im saying i do. And im telling you - you're limiting yourslef - and maybe you don't have a choice, but i say you do. And I know you can do it. You'll succeed - just watch. I Love You. Though I know you hate me.

Arg, He can be so frustrating and offending! I know wtf im talking about. I know what the outside worl is about - don't tell me i don't. Im sheltered, i don't have the expeirence i admit but im telling you i know what is like and i understand. Maybe not first hand but I know about it and i know what im talking about. ERRRRRRR.

Ashley, I Love You, but your opinoun of me - it needs to change - you know nothing of me, im telling ya. ARG
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Time:3:44 pm.
Mood: content.
Someone tell Ash this cause Im not, and tell him it's from me.

If you want something un-optimistc here it goes. Your situaion sucks yes that's true. But if you really feel that strongly about becoem a doctor you'll go to college asap and aply for student loans. 85% of med school student are in debt after med school. On top of that about 50-80% of students in their first four years go to school on studnent loans and their own money from working. But if you're willing ot put all that aside and give in and do as your parents expect you to, than a) you never really wanted to become a docotr to begin with, your heart isn't in it. and b) you give in right when things get tough ro it's something you can't see the way out of or have no hope in. Simply put ash, you're not giving yourself the chance to succed - you're just putting yourself down and saying you're a void and you'll never accomplisha naythign liek you always do. Time to put that aside and grow up. You're a great guy and can do a lot in this world, if only you had the guts. Mad at me? When are you not, I've come to the realizion you hate me and after apoligzing how many times and tryign to be your friend. Im sick of trying. Hate me all you want, but Im here when you need me. I Love You. ~Samantha

Someone please give that to him from me, don't ask why I won't do, just someone please do it. I thought about it on my bike ride, low and behold where it took me - Jackson Park, looking accross at Ash's house. Arg, Im still not over him, but I am ready for another relationship. Neither is going to happen so why bother...arg. Im relazed though - but now, time for a shower. Luv Ya'll

*thinks* Ice cream sounds good after a shower....
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Time:4:22 pm.
Mood: calm.
okay, now that I am over my anger-take-that-mood. Fritz wants to hang out, I want to hang out. Why can't we hang out? he's not on nearly as much as he used to be and on top of that? I dunno how he'd feel bout me calling him. I miss the guy. Haven't seen him in a while. I think I sufficantly miss everyone! Youg uys don't stay at your houses, you go places that's the problem - if you did stay at home I'd stop by on my bike on random days hehe. So, how r u? Now Im just getting bored. This weekend;s bad for me. Out tonight and than over to grandparents, well than monday i start behind the wheel. Anybody wanna do something after 8 in the morning? Oh wait, you guys don't wake till noon - heh. I wonder how that game is going along...mmm....I wonder where Paul is and I wonder how Gen did on her ACTS I hope well! I also miss Brian, he took his ACTS too, than left for Ohio - Damn him, leaving me alone without a Brian to talk to. Arg, I could never be mad at him though. Isn't this getting boring? Yeah, me thinks so too. I'll go, wanna do something? I bike, but I can get there! Tutlos Tu - *MUAH!*
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Time:9:50 pm.
Mood: hyper.
I WENT DRIVING! I WAS BEHIND THE WHEEL! OH YEAH, MAKE WAY WIDE OPEN ROAD, SAMANTHA ZEMAN IS ON IT! So, I guess I have to take Gen, Jon, and Fritz up on their offer to teach me Manual. I Love You! It was so cool! And than my mom killed a rabbit! A BABY RABBIT! RABBIT KILLER!!!!!!! She didn't see it, but still! It's a BABT RABBIT. We have a family of rabbits that live under our playhouse. They come back every year. MOTHER KILLED ONE OF THE BABIES! Errrrr...and Brandi's a llama killer! It runs in the family. ARG. What will I kill? OH GOD. NOTHING! I KILL NOTHING. Im a good driver, I LOVE driving - it was so cool! And stepping on the gas peddal - OMG - it was freaky, but so damn cool! Me Drive, Me LOVE to Drive. Gonna have fun.

BTW - I NEED TO GET OVER TO PAUL'S HOUSE! I don't know how - I prolly Bike, but I need to get over there. Errrrrr - or over to SOMEONE's. Oo! What about Fritz's? Or Gen's? How is a Gen? I hope good. Love You All, especially Driving!!!!
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Blurty for wannabe87.

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