Wednesday, June 4th, 2003

Time: 4:34 pm. Mood: frustrated.

Okay Im going to be blunt here. I want to have sex, I think - i don't know. But anywayz, how does it work? How? This is driving me nuts - I mean okay, look i tried. It didn't work!!! How do you get it in? Doesn't anyone know? I tried and it slipped or i was tight something - it's so ERRRRRRRRRRRRR Arg, the other thing is is that I don't know if im ready. Im scared. See, what if I find the one guy i think is perfect and he doesn't want me because im not a virgin? What if that happens - and then I truly will be miserable my whole life. I don't know, I really don't know... How did this frustration occur? I went to health board and posted, they deleted my post. ARG!!!!!!!!! *Closes eyes* And I have to go to church today, perfect. If it goes bad I am going to do something...not kill, but pain will be reassuring. Hell, Im too fucking sane for that - Mike and Brian will stop me anywayz unfortently. ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FUCK THE WHOLE GOD DAMN WORLD!

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Time: 8:55 pm. Mood: annoyed.

I Lived, and Im actually calm right now so its nice. Thanks to all who listened to my ranting and raving. Im just really stressed and prokrastinating a lot too. I think i'll be fine, still frustrated, but I think I'll be okay. Church was...church. Everybody loves seeing me at first and then i become compelete hell. HEHEHE lol - I have fun. But yeah, Becca, chick im sorry i upset you kay? I was beign a bitch - sorry. Im tired from being so flustered. Hopefully everything will even out tommarrow - otherwise it's just going to get worse. Which is more likly. Tata "Do you remember Old mcDonald? He had a farm... Wait there's more! E-I, E-I...O?" (Crazy Korine in Histeric History) "Light is evil, bestow the darkness." (me)

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