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Blurty for wannabe87.
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| Monday, April 21st, 2003 |
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| Movie, me no go. Prolly better - but i still can't stop the feeling of being the youngest friend which is most nieve/stupid and the most pain in the ass. This isn't right to vent like this, it's jelousy - and that's not what I want to be. But I am human relectantly, and those feelings are natural - I apologize to all for my atitude. Arg, I still feel like shit - like it's not fair. And Arg, I shouldn't feel like this. Im sorry, really I am. I wish you all fun though!!! Enjoy youselves! Make out with someone! | ||||
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Unblocked Paul...it's wierd. He's kinda refusing to aknowledge we even got into a fight. I don't like it, but I won't bring up a past that he has already barried. He's not happy though, that I can tell. Wish he was...I wish Paul was happy. Talking to Mike, not BFF Mike Mueller, other Mike - Miek that loves me to death Mike from California. He doesn't know, he doesn't know me. And I have too much of a heart to blow him off. I hate my heart. Part of it says yeah I Love Him, the other says it will never work out you know it. So what to do? Another problem that needs solving. My God. I help everyoen else with their problems, give them advice, etc. etc. But I run away from my own problems and have problems solving them? And I don't ask for help? Good thing people just listen to me, and don't follow my example. Heck, sometimes my words are even off. I still want Fritz. I want the constant feeling of having no one around gone too. Mike's not around half the time anymore, Brians gone, Jon's around some of the time, but they are still the constant silences when we know we've struck a spot where we're different and we fear getting into another fight...so who's left? Gen, gen and I talk - about some serious stuff sometimes, but will she ever fill the gap that Mike once did? No one will, no one ever will. I Look around and sometimes wonder about my what would ever happen if people got inside me head. Some would laugh at how redicalus or unimpressed they are with it. Others would cring in fear and run away. Yet others would take pity. Others would want it for themselves. And still others would hate it, and want it destryed. Which one are you? Which one? What do you want with me? What is your purpose for me? *Shivers* It's cold in here. romotewild : will you be the third? Paul: Will I? Who knows. romotewild: who knows - that's right, who does know, and if someone does know - how much more do they know romotewild : and if they know more - do they know more than the should romotewild : if they know more than they should - they will be killed in the end Paul: ok then romotewild : the question is how long do they get away with it I think im harrasing him, not meaning to, but i think I am. *looks around* It's almost as if Im waiting for my knight in shinning armor to come rescue me, but knowing he won't come. So what next? To hell I go, and from hell I come back. (AKA: My room) I must clean - call if you please. Or IM. |
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Who was smoking yesterday!?! It was 4/20 - smoking day!?! Who was smoking, and not sharing! You people - what about me? Fine, don't share - hog it all. Arg, selfish people lol. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Mother mother fuck. Mother mother fuck fuck. Mother fuck mother fuck. Noise noise noise. 1 2 1 2 3 4 Noise noise noise. Smokin weed, smokin weed. Doin' coke, drinkin beers. Drinkin beers, beers beers. Rollin' fatties, smokin blunts. Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts. Rollin' blunts and smokin um' <> 15 bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand. If that money doesn't show then you owe me owe me owe. My jungle love. Oh e oh e oh. I think I wanna know ya know ya ... yeah, what. In honor of Ashley O'Conner! |
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Jon's mad at me. I wasn't trying to hurt him!!! I was just trying to make a joke and get him to laugh and look ont he bright side! Haha - guess not. Jon, I'm sorry, really I am. Didn't mean to piss you off. So it turns out I was invited, yeah! I take back my last entry! THANK YOU JON!!! I missunderstood something he said earlier. It'll be alright though, Im hoping Jon'll be alright by the end of the day. I hope he's okay. Sorry Jon. Luv Ya! |
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Blurty for wannabe87.
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amused.
frustrated.
thoughtful.
drunk.
guilty.