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Saturday, January 10th, 2004
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1:23 pm
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does anyone besides ms abbeyroad and sir buhagden post in here anymore? if i wasnt so lazy i would post as well....but im lazy, so i dont...peace out bitches.
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| Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003
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10:15 pm
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well, i havent updated with an update in a few days...so here goes...
sat...i stabbed mario in the hand with a sharp dagger...it went an inch deep. we hung out in the mergency room for a few hours. sun i saw lotr rotk. it was fantasmical. i dropped off my friend and then reversed into a parked car and sorta left the scene...you know how it goes. yesterday john dano and mario came over for a little while. today i sat on my ass...a lot. i feel like shit.
so long...farewell...goodbye...
current mood:  sick
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, December 21st, 2003
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12:17 am
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| Saturday, December 20th, 2003
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1:00 am - the gooches' covering this place sucks was one of the highlights of my days...thank you gooches
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today/tonight had the makings of greatness...but it was all shit. the precal final was suprisingly easy, but my english exam decided that instead of raping me to bend me over shove both hands into my ass and rip my to fucking shreds. goddamn it was horrible. so, after that you know, perhaps things will get better. i hung out with mario for a bit...aka the highlight of my day. we decided we're having a hobo week in which ppl bring no cash/and money and the clothes on your back and we live like homeless ppl for a week during the summer. we got junk food from the doolar store and ate it at jame's coney island as well as a little holiday shopping/thrifting. i came home and slept for about 3-4 hours. woke up, showered, then casey picked me up and we went to the show. i had called amanda bc i got her number today, so i decided i wanted to hang out so i called her and she couldnt go to the show, which i guess is for the better bc it seemed as if it was pretty much me and casey sitting around and shit the whole night. you know what's fun, is when your friends have the best intentions at heart but are still assholes when they talk about a preson you care about a lot...its a whole lot of fucking fun. now i just want to sleep and maybe have a car that works, hang out with amanda, or i guess go back to a month ago. yesterday was going to be the one month...just remembered that so i thought id throw that in. hopefully in a week i'll be practicing with either the citzens or the cancer romancers...that should be nice. im really fucking tired, i want to wake up to halloween. yeah, ok, im going to wake up and go back in time. thats my goal. i think im hanging out with jordan tom, but chances are she'll be doing something better, but oh well if thats the case, another time. so if anyone wants to do something give me a ring-a-ling. you know where i be.
so long...farewell...goodbye...
current mood:  tired
current music: this place sucks - the queers
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| Wednesday, December 17th, 2003
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3:14 pm
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http://www.livejournal.com/users/somekinda_hate/
so nothing mucho to say i guess. finals fuckinng suck, if anyone wants to get to gether and help me study for chemistry, english, or precal i would appreciate it greatly. call my cell 713 818 7190 if you can help me.
john and wes came over and we hung out for a bit. that was cool. yep, not much to say. im tired. bye.
so long...farewell...goodbye...
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| Saturday, December 13th, 2003
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12:19 pm - well the parties over...
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a city skippin...
last night was so fucking amazingly great, i needed that so fucking badly, i woke up wishing it was all a dream, and that i was just to go, so i could experience it again. god, against me! never fucking leave...but they left. and i asked a girl who was so extremely cute for her number and shit, and she hold on, and walked over to her bf and left...and i dont even fucking care because i saw against fucking me! jordan, you better fucking go tonight. god, i just..csajdhcbsdjcdkj. and thats a happy wsdhjbc osdhbcfh. god, i almost blew chunks singing my fucking heart out...it was truly orgasmic...like, i think i may have actually gotten wet, and i dont think it was my sweat or rain. baby, im an anarchist was not played...sorry mr dano. god, i love how they spent have the time not playing making fun of the "punks" in the crowd...the finger? why may i ask would you give me the finger?...bc they're "punk rock"...hahaha
oh, and the first band was fucking lame...lets stop warfare...everybody split down the middle, and when we start the song, run into each other as hard/fast as you can....stupid fucks!
oh, and i finally met the lovely kati.
i love against me!...and i caught a cold waiting in the fucking cold and rain to get in...but i got in, and thats all that matters...
current music: reinventing axle rose - against me!
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| Friday, December 12th, 2003
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5:32 pm
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i stole this from john, and like john, if you actually do this, 100% honesty...and leave blank if youre not being honest, at least give me that:
+OPINIONS+
1.Am I cute?:
2.Am I hot?:
3.Am I sweet?:
4.Am I crazy?:
5.Am I loveable?:
6.Am I funny?:
7.Am I annoying?:
8.Am I daring?:
9.Am I a good person?:
+WOULD YOU+
10. Hug me?:
11. Miss me if I was gone?:
12. Listen to my problems?:
13. Hug me if i cried?:
14. Be a good friend?:
+WOULD YOU+
15.Ever go out with me?:
16.If you already have would u do it again?:
17.Kiss me ((Really))?:
18.Marry me if u could?:
+HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW ME?+
19 When's my birthday?:
20 How old am I?:
21 What school do I go to?:
22 Do i have any siblings ~> names?? :
23 Who is my most current ex?:
24 Who is my best friend?:
25 Who am i crushing on/dating?:
26 Favorite song/songs?:
27 Favorite music group?:
+IF YOU COULD+
28 Hook me up with someone who would it be and why?:
29 Do one thing with me what would it be and why?:
30 Drop me one piece of advice, what would it be?:
+JUST A FEW QUESTIONS+
31 What do you love about me?:
32 What do you hate about me?(seriously):
33 What is my best quality?:
34 If you could change one thing about me what would it be?:
35 What is your honest opinion of me?:
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5:04 pm - you florange fucking tad piece of nop shit
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well, tonight is against me! and my dad is actually letting me go to an actual show, and i cant seem to get a fucking ride. oh well, i need this, and if there is a god, he'll pull through right.
today was weird as fuck. ashley told me she liked me, crazy mar kissed me, but that was just stupid, and i met this girl kristen, she's nice. she approached me and started talking to me! whoo hoo. john c tried to get things happenin between us...she is pretty cute, and we do wear the same kind of shoe.
oh, and btw, against me! is tonight!!!!!!!!!! oh and so are the murdocks and anti-flag, but more importantly, against me! is tonight!!!!!!!!!
i hate living this fucking high school dramatic teenage life...its fucking ridiculous and stupid.
times are strange friend, times are strange.
current mood: optimistic?
current music: you look like i need a drink - against me!
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| Thursday, December 11th, 2003
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3:54 pm
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im very tired. yep, very fucking tired.
i talked to jordan last night, it was really nice. i really miss her. and i really regret when i stopped talking to her, bc she really is one of my best friends, and im so happy i get to see her next week.
yesterday was...fun?
i found out that casey is the best girl in the world as shitty as she can make me feel sometimes, i fell for her again. i mean, when a girl has a family emergency and has to go home, but stays for a few minutes to slow dance to the acoustic version of werewolf weather and tells you that its almost as beautiful as you...whats a boy to do.
things are reallly really strange. im confused about a lot of things. and i just wish times were "simple" again. like, nothing was ever truly simple, but at the end of the day, things were good. girls mattered a shit load, but it wasnt so fucking complicated. i need to just sit back, with some of mine chums, and just not care anymore. i think that would be good.
and if you havent heard...show, this sat, mario's backyard...gooches, hogies, down-beats, fatu...not all bands are 100% for sure, but it will kick ass eitherway. its free and from 4-6. for directions or a ride or something contact wayne at 713 818 7190. and dano, if you want me to row my van to your house and pick you up and row to against me!, im sorry, even if i could, i dont know the way and i doubt i can go... : (
so long...farewell...goodbye...
current music: gemini - connie dungs
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| Tuesday, December 9th, 2003
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6:34 pm - my day
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my day was...aimless.
it started with videotech. i decided that i dont like to just sit there and pretend to be busy, so i went out to pretend to shoot for mustang news. i just walked around asking ppl...cancer:for or against? it was pretty wacky, anywho i asked this one girl. she was not angry just inquisitive as to why we'd ask that question and thought it was pretty funny, so halfway through what she was saying, i asked for her number...and guess who got a ph number...thats right...not wayne. i saw her before 4th, so i was like, hey you forgot that ph number..hahaha...i think i creeped the shit out of her, plus claire tripped onto her...haha.
it rained!!! foreshadowing...hmm. maybe i'll get in my boat and paddle around for awhile if it floods...by boat i mean my nissan quest.
i got out of waller's class and wondered aimlessly again. tom we have a test. i guess i need to study, but i cant concentrate anymore.
well, matt burick, thanks man. first, for trying to mooch money off of us again, that never gets old, thanks for insulting in front of friends, and thanks for making me realize that i wonder from person to person, day to day, with nothing left to look forward to. man, you starting a downward spiral ive felt all day.
people annoy the shit out of me. i miss the old days. hanging out with jordan and john. watching zombie movies with brian and john. just hanging out with people. when everyday brought something that made you know that the next might suck, but the one after that would be worth wild or while...i dont know. god, i need to hang out soon. xmas break is soon, maybe we could all hang out againn? and mario we need to have our once/twice a month drive around with combos and egg nog and wal mart and hitting on girls day fucking soon man. i look forward to that.
this will be my last post of the day...pinky promise
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5:26 pm
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down the drains throuh sewer pipes...the remnants of a fucked up life
current mood: sakldjfcbvwesikrjbfcvisdujnbfv
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(comment on this)
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5:26 pm
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im a big fucking stupid mess on the bathroom wall. god, i fuck things up very nicely. god, god, OIASDUFBGCAWISYHFCBVASDJHFBCASIDHFBASJUDFHIASUDFGASDYHFASKDJFCBASDHFGVCIASDCBASDIUFBASIDCGASDIBFCASDJFVCNBASDHGCVIASUDFVSKDBVCPIASUDGVAIUSDPIFV BASWDIUFISU.
i want one thing in this world.
i want to be poetic.
well...two things.
i want to be poetic,
and i want this loneliness,
coarsing through my veins,
to die a horrible death,
like its been making me die,
for years.
so, the only solution,
is to bleed it out,
out of my veins,
and into the sink.
fuck this. fuck you world. fuck you wayne.
to my friends...i love you. and you are in my mind the best people i know. just thought id say that. brian, you are a godsend. and everyone who isnt like 100% ok...im always here if you want to talk.
so long...farewell...goodbye...
current music: a radio with guts
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4:33 pm - bloodletter
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you cant conceal the fire flaming from your eyes...it burns through your docile disguise...ive got these scraped up knees...these gaping wounds...youre salting me tonight...im reaching for the knife...
i dont want to write this song to wrong you, but you gave me these feelings so they don belong to me...i dont want to fight unless i have to...youve had me bleeding all night because i have to have you...
i think of fingernails, first fucks, my back was carved...you left me sliced, shattered, and scarred...your beauty like a boulder breaking boones and cracking skulls with smiles...i'll bleed til i run dry...
i dont want to write this song to wrong you, but you gave me these feelings so they don belong to me...i dont want to fight ...i dont want to argue...youve had me bleeding all night because i have to have you...
i think ive heard the hurt that's hidden in your heart...i know why youve put up your guard...ive got these freezing hands, these empty arms, i'll be god damned tonight..im not all fucking right...
i dont want to write this song to wrong you, but you gave me these feelings so they don belong to me...i dont want to fight ...i just want to hurt you...youve had me bleeding all night because i have to have you...
current music: bloodletter - a radio with guts
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| Saturday, December 6th, 2003
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11:58 pm
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im fucking dying, but theres so much shit going on with ppl right now, i dont want to complain.
i came home from the show(also, i shouldve either gone to the party or stayed home and wrote a fucking paper over a book and a packet that i havent read and am totally boned for this essay)and turned on snl, only to find a skit that got no laughs...along with the the host of al sharpten...i could tell you that they wouldnt get any laughs. wtf, now theyre poking fun at johnny cash...fuck you saturday night live...you would be so fucking lucky to ever be half the entity that johnny ever was.
i almost cried tonight, right infront of friends. thank god i controlled myself, maybe later, bc i still feel it in there.
Just to hold you,
in my arms,
just one more time.
Just to feel your lips,
setting mine free,
and bringing them to life.
Just to feel your heartbeat,
right next to mine,
to the point that we share one heart,
and each beat lets us know,
that there is no life,
with only one half
of a broken heart.
I look into your eyes.
I drown in your blue gaze,
that stares right back into mine.
But that's all gone now.
My withered heart,
my empty gaze,
my dying lips
find themselves locked
onto you,
and him,
and my envy.
I wish i could get out of my head,
along with those words that you said.
The ones that made me cry,
and made me want to die.
I wouldve done anything just to see you smile,
but you havent lately, not for awhile.
I guess this is just teenage life,
but it'll end soon, with one thrust of a stainless steel knife.
up your nose with a rubber hose
current music: joy division
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, December 4th, 2003
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8:37 pm
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4:55 pm
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| Sunday, November 30th, 2003
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2:45 am - damn im bored
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Whats your full name? wayne miguel hikaru scott...thats right mothafucker, i gots 2 middle names, what do youse got...
Were you named after anyone? yeah, a few ppl
Where were you born? maui
How tall ru? 5'11"
Any siblings? yes
What grade are you in? 11th
Some hobbies of yours? anything that doesnt involve much running
Whats under your bed? nothing?
Have you thought seriously about committing suicide? possibly...yes
Have you ever stolen anything? yeah, but its never been anything serious
If you were making a movie about yourself, who would play you? the rufio kid from hook
Any bad habits? too many
If you were another person, would you be friends with you? nope, i fucking suck
Do you believe in God? not sure anymore
What is your most embarrassing story? ...
What are you most scared of? having my heart broken...again
If you had an extra set of eyes where would you put them? behind my head
What do you usually think about before you go to bed? how i fucked things up for the day
Do you feel understood most of the time? who knows
Your friends:
Whose the loudest? adam
Smartest? i dont know, i guess dano or something
Sorriest? ? ? ? ...
Wildest? justin?
Prettiest? casey...<3
Cutest girl/guy friends? going to go with the above
Most understanding? john
Weirdest? wayne
Do you wish on stars? nope
Which finger is your favorite? middle
Who do you go too for girl/guy advice? friends...john, maybe mario, and i used to go to jordan
Who knows all your secrets? prob john/jordan/lucy/mario
Who makes you laugh the most? mario
Favs
Movie: backdoor sluts nine...haha
Song: bankrupt on selling - modest mouse
Band/group: there are a lot...but i'll say modest mouse or a radio with guts
Store: barnes and noble
Relative: my neice kaelah
Sport: sitting-on-my-ass-a-thon
Vacation spot: maui
Fruit: grapes or pears
Candy: i guess...twix
Class: right now, taking in everything...english
Holiday: halloween
Day of the week: thurs fri or sat
Color: orange
Magazine: reading is fo sissies...uh, surfing?
Foods: cheese
Books: nine stories - salinger
drink: milk
carbonated beverage: anything
What movie made you gag? contact
Song that annoys the hell out of you: too many
Where do you never want to go? to my house
What magazine can you not read cause you can't make sense of its psychobabble? ...
In the past 24 hrs have you:
Had a serious talk? yeah
Hugged someone? yeah
Fought with a friend? sorta, but i dont know, i guess...not really
Cried? almost
Laughed? somewhat
Made someone laugh? i think
Bought something? yeah...return of the living dead
Cut your hair? no
Felt stupid? yeah
Missed someone? very much so
Have you ever
Eaten an entire box of oreos yourself? yeah, why do you think im such a fat ass
Stayed home on sat night just cause? i guess
Been in love? i dont think so, but i wish i had been at one point
Seen the Eiffel tower? nope
Tried smoking? possibly
Drank alcohol? possibly
Tried a weight loss program? yeah
Day dream beliefs if money were no object:
Where would you live? LA or new york
What would you pursue more education in? the same things
What kind of transportation would you use? a woody...the car sick shits
If a time machine were available to you:
Which time would you like to live in? 50's
What specific event would you like to witness? i dont know, i guess...oh, time machines can go into the future right...the zombie apocolypse of ccourse
What historical figure would you most want to meet? charlie chaplin
If you had unlimited time/lifespan:
What language(s) would you master? english
What activity/sport/hobby would you take up? i dont know...sitting on my ass forever
Where would you like to ideally see yourself in 3 yrs? college...or married to a wealthy/insanely rich old woman...she'll be my sugar mama
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1:39 am - if i could treat you like shit, then you'd love me forever
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i have so much to say, but i dont feel like saying it. i feel like i want to bottle things again, like, i dont want to make myself open and vulnerable for anyone anymore, but thats life, i do. im questioning everything, and nothing seems right anymore. i just want to be happy again, but those times are gone. school is monday, i have a lot of shit to get done before then. fuck me for being so fucking stupid and fucking everything up. thanksgiving was fucking stupid, i hate my goddamn family, like gavin and his little family was cool, but everyone else is fucking stupid and i just wish they would leave me the fuck alone.
today, was different. thats all i'll say, it was different. fuck this life.
im listening to the songs i cry my eyes out to,
and im lying all alone,
my heart is broke in fucking two.
and the bottles have been emptied,
and the ashtrays have been filled,
am i still a murderer if im the only one i kill.
IM ALL ALONE!!!
"im sick of all of this...like this whole life, and all of this shit."
up your nose with a rubber hose
current mood: ...
current music: a radio with guts
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 26th, 2003
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2:06 pm - a survey thing and an entry
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you know what to do:
01: what is your first memory of me:
02: how long have we been friends:
03: tell about one memory we share together:
04: describe me in four adjectives:
05: if we could spend a day together what would we do:
06: name one thing you really don't like about me:
07: name one thing you really do like about me:
08: if you could give me a gift what would it be:
09: have we ever gotten in a fight & about what:
10: have we ever hugged:
11: have we ever danced with each other:
12: have you ever seen me cry:
13: have i ever offended you:
14: do you ever think about me when i'm not around:
15: what do i usually look like when you see me:
16: what do i say all the time\whats my catch phrase:
17: do you think we will be friends in 5 years:
18: do you think i'm bitchy:
19: has there been anything you wanted to tell me, but didn't:
20: what advice would you give me, in general:
21: wanna make out:
22: suggest a band / cd for me to listen to:
23: is there a song that reminds you of me:
well, im in utah, and its pretty ok thus far. my brother seems to like calling me weird and making fun of me, but were having fun. i talked to casey last night for awhile, unfortunately, it'll probably be the last time whlie im here, apparently my phone ison roaming, so, fuck. my bros baby is fucking awesome. i love her. and casey's sick, and i miss her more than anything, god, id give up seeing the queers to see her on sat. i woke up to snow this morning, ive never seen snow btw, and as soon as i get up, my brother makes me shovel the driveway. oh well, last night he let me smoke half-a-pack and drink about 2/3 of a bottle of amaretto. last night was nice. im going, by forever. or maybe just a little while.
up your nose with a rubber hose
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, November 24th, 2003
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4:36 pm - im scared to be alone
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Your first name back wards: enyaw
Where do you live: Kingwood, Texas.
3 words that sum you up: lame. pussy. stupid.
Color of hairbrush: dark brown/black.
Jewelry worn daily: a chain my grandma gave me, and now she's in the hospital, so its only natural that id wear the thing now right
Pillow cover: wouldnt you like to know.
Coffee cup: dont know what the question is...but here's the answer...i am not a coffee cup
Shoes: van's slip-ons, usually my blue/black checkered, but you never know which i'll pull out
What you are wearing now: socks, jeans, shirt.
Hair: short, dark...or yes, i have hair.
In my mouth: my tongue and teeth.
In my head: thoughts of someone.
After this: calling someone
Talking to: myself.
Your favorite movies: hard to say, i have many, and im very fickle.
Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month: the queers, but i'll probably not be able to see them...and getting to know someone better
Something that you are deathly afraid of?: heart-break, and seeing someone looking at from the other side of my window.
Do you like candles: yes.
Do you believe in love: Yes.
Do you believe in soul mates: meh, i believe in love, but im only in high school, and unless i knock up my gf, i have no clue about anything about who im going to be "soul-mates" with...if any of that made sense
Do you believe in love at first sight: yes
Do you believe in forgiveness: yes, i am a very big pussy, and i believe in forgiveness bc im desperate for keeing the few friends i have.
If you could have any animal for a pet: ive had a pig, so, a little elephant. i love elephants.
Place you wouldn't mind relocating to?: hawaii, hell, california, new york.
What are some of your favorite pig out foods?: cookies. pizza. chips?
What's something you wish you could understand better?: women. and why they do the things they do and why they want the things they do.
In the last 24 hours, have you:
Cried: almost.
Gotten sick: not physically.
Sang: Yes.
Eaten: yes.
Felt stupid: yes.
Wanted to tell someone you loved them: i did, and then felt stupid. but i guess its all good, bc she said it back.
Met sum1 new: um, i talked to strangers, but didnt meet anyone.
Talked to an alien: nope.
Missed an alien: yes.
Talked to someone you have a crush on: ...
Had a serious talk: yeah, it was one of those relationship talks, oh what fun.
Hugged someone: yes.
Fought with your parents: Yes.
Dreamed about someone you can't be with: nope
What type of automobile do you drive: can you drive a broken car? no, ok.
Would you rather be with friends or on a date: hard to say, id rather be on a date, but i want us to be friends too, so i want the best of both worlds.
Do you attend church: no, dano hasnt built the church os clarxism yet.
Do you like being around people: yeah, but i tend to get like being alone when im with ppl, and with ppl when im alone.
Who have you known the longest: i guess heather from like kindergarden. hmm, or mario, bc apparently his sister baby-sat me when we were like really little, and he lives really close, so i probably knew him back then.
Do you argue the most with: myself. my mom. my dad.
Who do you always get along with: no one. maybe wes lee and brian and lucy. possibly others, but i dont have time for that shit. mario?
Who has the coolest siblings?: my brother. oh, didnt see that coming did you. take that.
Who is the smartest: dano.
current music: connie dungs
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