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[28 May 2003|03:33pm] joolsandnigel [ mood | jubilant ] [ music | the computer? ] inhale HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY (KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK) CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and exhale hope you have an awesome day! lurv, ~jools 2 horny fangirls | rape Ewan!

The Happy Happy Birthday Song from the Arrogant Worms! [28 May 2003|01:40pm] blueyedevilpixi [ mood | ditzy ] [ music | IMing VaVaVirgil wheeeee ] Once a year we celebrate, With stupid hats and plastic plates, The fact that you were able to make Another trip around the sun. And the whole clan gathers ‘round, And gifts and laughter do abound. And we let out a joyful sound And sing that stupid song. Happy birthday! Now you’re one year older. Happy birthday! Your life still isn’t over. Happy birthday! You did not accomplish much. But you didn’t die this year, I guess that’s good enough. So let’s drink to your fading health, And hope you don’t remind yourself, Your chance of finding fame and wealth, Decrease with every year. ‘Cause if you feel you’re doing laps, And eating food and taking naps, And hoping that someday perhaps Your life may hold some cheer. Happy birthday! What have you done that matters? Happy birthday! You’re starting to get fatter. Happy birthday! It’s downhill from now on. Try not to remind yourself your best years are all gone. If cryogenics were all free, Then you could live like Walt Disney. And live for all eternity, inside a block of ice. But instead your time is set. This is the only life you get. And though it hasn’t ended yet, Sometimes you wish it might. Happy birthday! You wish you had more money. Happy birthday! Your life’s so sad it’s funny. Happy birthday! How much more can you take? But your friends are hungry, so just cut the stupid cake. Happy birthday! Happy birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Dear… [names] Boredom and birthdays are a bad combination lol Cheers love! "and many moooooooooooore..." -mags p.s.-lookie at my newest icon! rape Ewan!

survey [28 May 2003|11:23am] joolsandnigel [ mood | hungry ] [ music | 2gether ] do you type really fast? – yeah (i'm a nerd) does it annoy people who are around you (like in the library)? – how would i know? do you/did you like high school? – eh, it's ok how old are you? – 15 do you know anyone who has the same birthday as you? my great aunt, one of the backstreet boys (brian?), and the guy who created M*A*S*H* favorite pen color – black what word do you constantly misspell when typing? – (?) do you have trees in your yard? – yes'm name one comedian that everyone thinks is funny but you absolutely cannot stand – dennis miller (i can't stand that ignorant jackass!) name one director you hate and tell why – george lucas. i had to sit through attack of the clones. i hate him. do you like tim burton? – sure, i guess what annoys you more than anything? – picking your teeth, clearing your throat like a thousand times, arrogant/egotistic people, etc., etc. tell me about the weirdest pair of socks you own – i don't really wear socks all that much... if you woke up tomorrow morning as the opposite sex, what would you do first? – see how far i could aim did you read fear street books? – nope how about sweet valley high? – hell no babysitter's club? the boxcar children? – guilty goosebumps? – yeah, sometimes favorite show on nickelodeon (can be from the late 80's/early 90's when nick was good) - rocko's modern life did you watch are you afraid of the dark? – sometimes did zeebo the clown scare you? – all clowns are scary where do you vacation every summer? – oh, you lucky bastards... do you like the beach? – no...bad experiences do you tan or burn easily? – i'm hispanic, what do you think? do you make up your own words and lingo? if so tell me about it – yeah, of course...can't remember any right now, though do you eat lots of tv dinners? – i ate a t.v. dinner once in my whole entire life---when we were in san antonio and my mom was too tired to make us anything favorite hot pocket flavor – er...? if you could make one celebrity magically disappear, who would it be? – jennifer lopez how is life treating you? – i'm thankful---my life has been better than a lot of patients i know at the hospital and a lot of the people back home in my country do people like you? – i dunno...you tell me what do you think it is that makes the "popular" people popular? – money what do you wear the most: jeans, cords, dickies, khakis, skirts, or shorts? – jeans are you using a pc or mac? – pc? do you like chunky peanut butter? – no, not really what amazes you about the opposite sex? – how they can write full sentences in script (in the snow) while pissing, yet they always miss the toilet bowl in the bathroom are you in love with anyone? – no do you like anyone? – sure if so, who – eh, y'all don't know him why do you like them/why are you in love with them? – he's such a goofball---he always made me laugh favorite cereal – street smart name a movie that makes you cry – the one on disney about the retarded kid what's something you like about the opposite sex, physically, that your friends think is odd? – um...i dunno...i guess dark eyes (i'm not really into the whole "he MUST have blue/green eyes" ::swoon::) is it true that only the good die young? – no if so, are you going to live forever or die soon? – it's not up to me do you live for today? – i savor today, but keep an eye out for tomorrow how fast can you run? – (both of these are about) mile: 7 minutes; 5k- 28 minutes---you tell me favorite band from the 60's/70's – durr...the beatles have any of your friends had kids as teenagers? - no and y'all better keep it that way did they finish high school? - n/a favorite 80's television show – wonder years were you even born in the 80's? – yes'm what year? – 88 have you ever taught a little kid a curse word? – ha, yeah if so which one was it? – shit do you think little boys are horrendously ill behaved? – nah, not really...i grew up w/ two of them---it's not that bad have you ever thrown anything at a moving car? if so, what? – i can't for the life of me remember what i threw name a villian in a movie that scared you when you were a kid - villains didn't really scare me---sometimes it was the "good ppl"in the movie that scared the crap out of me (ex-edwards scissorhands, the main dude from a nightmare b/f christmas...) have you seen the original friday the thirteenth? – don't think so the original chucky? – ha ha, yeah (parts of it, at least) the original halloween? – no what's your favorite channel? - comedy central, vh1, fox, nbc, e! what do you say when you stub your toe off of the corner of the coffee table? – ow, sh...sheisse! what's the highest thing you've ever jumped off of and landed unharmed? – don't remember (stupid alzheimer's) does it snow where you live? – nope if yes, do you go sled riding? - n/a have you ever used anything weird, like a frisbee or a trashcan lid, for a sled? - n/a how many people do you know who were born in november? – 4 what month has the most people you know born in it? – february do holidays make you festive? – no, not really magazines you subscribe to – newsweek, the week, time, and entertainment weekly do you read the supermarket tabloids? – hell yeah! that stuff is hilarious have you ever smashed somebody's halloween pumpkin? - no, that's mean ever had yours smashed? – when have i ever owned a pumpkin? do you celebrate christmas? – yes'm if not, do you still watch "how the grinch stole christmas" when it comes on television? - you know, i've never actually watched that do you think the grinch movie starring jim carrey was a waste of money? – er...no? ever had a hot teacher? – mr. b if yes, did you flirt with him/her? - no how do you treat people you are attracted to? (this is not a stupid question; some people are immature and are mean to those they like) - who's attracted to me? what do you want for your birthday this year? – money...i'm saving up for the future (nerd alert!). oh, and a laptop would be nice (hahahahha, like my family could actually afford that) have you ever egged somebody's house? - er...no has someone ever egged yours? – not that i know of do we all go a little mad sometimes? – ooh, of course, cher what pisses you off more than anything in the world? – arrogant, egotistic, know-it-all, uncaring, selfish people in the world do you still go trick or treating? - no do you believe in santa claus? – no have you ever worked in a supermarket? - nope how about a restaurant? – nope if yes, do you agree with me when i say that those are the two worst establishments to work in? – hey, a job's a job---be thankful you got it what color is your bedspread? - geez...i dunno do your eyes change colors? – never do you believe that we walked on the moon? – well, considering the fact that we haven't progressed since then... what's your opinion of the u.s. retaliation in afghanistan? – the u.s. should sit down and actually take some time out from being a controlling, bullying country to listen and try to understand other countries and all the crap that they have to go through day in and day out do you live by yourself? – nooooo.... have you ever gotten a computer virus? – yesh if so, what was it and how did you get rid of it? – how would i know? describe your junior high/middle school gym teacher - i've known him for a loooong time---nice guy, well-meaning, good intentions; he just tends to have favorites and not know what the hell is really going on how do you react when someone is talking to you --up in your face-- and they have really bad breath? - don't breathe what was your first date like? – n/a (but thanks for reminding me!) did you go/are you going to the prom? – i suppose i'm going to go if you've already gone, was it good or bad? explain why – n/a do you get uneasy when you see a person of a different color than you walking down the same street as you in the middle of the night? - no if yes, do you think that makes you racist? – n/a are you a vegetarian? – haha, that's a good one---i should tell it at the next hispanic reunion how about vegan? – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA if no to both, do you think you could be? - ::falls out of chair:: oh ::gasps for air:: please ::gasps:: stop it! ::tear:: you're making me cry have you ever given up a certain type of food? if so, what was it and why did you do it? – me? give up food? spit out a random song lyric for me. make sure you tell me the name of the song and who sings it! – (goes to coldplay's clocks )"Bagpipes start to play, You can march, unless you're gay, singing many different shades of green, don't mess with an angry queen. Singing, let them march, and you will know, gay guys make better floats. singing, coo-oo-oo-ool floats. Singing, coo-oo-oo-ool floats" -jimmy fallon who does the chores around your house? – everyone name one person who annoys you more than anyone else, and tell why – don't want to be mean like her what movie could you watch a million times and never get tired of? – er...emperor's new groove? (first one off the top of my head) what movie have you watched a million times, and you still laugh at the jokes? – ha, zoolander what movie do you hope you never see again? – sweet november and what about bob? (die, movies, die!) have you ever hugged a stuffed animal or pillow and pretended that it was your significant other, or someone you had a crush on, and then someone caught you talking to it, and stroking its soft, fuzzy fur, and laughed at you and told the whole school? – omg, no, never do you drive? – nope if so, do you like to drive at night or in the day time? – day b/c there's less of a chance to cross paths w/ a drunk driver has anyone ever called you a bitch? – ha, yeah has anyone ever called you an asshole? – i think so are you a bitch/asshole? – i think we all are, sometimes (alright, some of us all the time) what's the first thing you do when you get home from school/work? - eat favorite pop tart flavor – strawberry? do you play any musical instruments? if so, what? - piano (used to play the flute) tell me about the best school-related activity you ever took part in – i guess the diversity thing b/c the sophomores were so much fun and making fun of smetherman w/ all the ppl was hilarious (especially when me and robin were imitating the "asian" dance....lmao) have you ever built a snowman? – yes'm did you cry when it melted, or when the kid next door knocked its head off with a shovel? - actually, no what's your religion? – catholic do you try to force it on other people? – no do you knock on people's doors at 7 a.m. on saturdays, trying to give them a pamphlet and tell them about the lord, or ask random people at the mall if theyâ??ve been saved, yet you think that doesnâ??t count as forcing religion, you son of a bitch? – hee hee, that's funny what's the best restaurant you've ever eaten at? – el boliviaro, in miraflores (peru) have you ever been flipping channels late at night and caught a glimpse of some porn on skinemax? – yeah if so, did you watch it? don't say no, i know you did – no, you perverted creep what's the code word or phrase you and your friends use for the word SEX? – umm, we're not five...it's called sex, you know is sex an uncomfortable topic for you? – w/ whom am i speaking? what is the one thing in the world that just looking at it makes you vomit, or come close to it? - lukuma (oh my god, i think i'm going to throw up...seriously...even thinking of it makes me want to hurl....oh god, seriously...quick, next question) when other people vomit, does it make you sick? – yes do your clothes match? - hee hee, that's a good one what are you wearing right now? - old navy pajama pants and the race for the cure t-shirt did you ever have those fisher price roller skates that go over top of your shoes? – omg, YES! did you have a bike with a banana seat? - yesh could you ride it? - it kinda hurt at first, but you get used to it have you lived in the same house your entire life? – my god, no...i think i'd go insane whatâ??s the weirdest thing youâ??ve lived next to? – there was a lady who smuggled in animals from the amazon and made her own "rainforest" in the middle of her living room, in which she made ribbons for a living w/ the help of her adhd black russell terrier who is the ugliest person youâ??ve ever seen? – nah, that's too mean do you watch talk shows? - what kind of talk shows? like oprah and dr. phil, or like jay leno and conan? do you think miss cleo is full of shit? – who doesn't? if not, have you called her and wasted your money, you idiot? – no what are your thoughts on keeping animals in captivity? – they should be in their natural habitat (as long as it's safe for them) what do you think of all the â??superstoresâ?? that are popping up everywhere? (super walmart, super k-mart, super target)? - i don't really care what do you think of pop music? - some of it's good, some of it's funny ("i know my calculus, it' says you plus me equals us") tell me something i don't know – my password---but i'm not going to tell you phew...that was long...my brother says the news people are outside...i'm going to go check that out...later! lurv, ~jools rape Ewan!

w00t! spam [27 May 2003|02:37pm] t00b [ mood | eh ] [ music | Neon (live) - John Mayer ] You are President Skroob!! Which SpaceBalls character are you? brought to you by Quizilla You are Caught a Light Sneeze! You're dreamy, different, and imaginative. People can have a hard time following your train of thought but it doesn't seem to bug you. You're the kind of person who's gonna be famous, if not infamous, for an idea. *~What Tori Amos music video are you?~* brought to you by Quizilla You are the distinguishly Insane Penguin. You like to be yourself all the time even if it may be a little on the abnormal side. People may often give you strange looks but you don't really care as long as you are enjoying life...:) What kind of Penguin are you? brought to you by Quizilla You're "Human behaviour"! You don't really understnd what happens around, which can sometimes be the best thing! Even though you may seem naive, you are truly the opposite - you set out to understand tthe things your curious about, and are a happy person. Which Bjork Song Are You (complete)? brought to you by Quizilla "Child in you", well, the title explains it really, doesnt it? What Feeder =Comfort in Sound= song are you? brought to you by Quizilla You are Bounce! You...like to bounce around I guess. What brand of detergent are you?!! brought to you by Quizilla You are Gonzo! your a ... a, um....whatever you are. You like being shot out of cannons and are defined by your hook-like nose. What is your inner Muppet?(images) brought to you by Quizilla I am Stanley! I have a big book that lets me see what it's like to be an animal. If you were a little kids show, which would you be? brought to you by Quizilla Stewie Griffin An evil genius with a football shaped head, nothing short of world domination will satisfy you. Which Family Guy character are you? brought to you by Quizilla rape Ewan!

looong survey [27 May 2003|02:00pm] blueyedevilpixi [ mood | geeky ] [ music | the CMP- The arrogant worms ] do you type really fast? – kinda does it annoy people who are around you (like in the library)? – hell if I know do you/did you like high school? – eh, not really how old are you? – 14 :/ do you know anyone who has the same birthday as you? Vanessa Ochomogo and someone else favorite pen color – blue what word do you constantly misspell when typing? – quote and lol do you have trees in your yard? – used to name one comedian that everyone thinks is funny but you absolutely cannot stand – that guy forgot his name :/ name one director you hate and tell why – George Lucas. He should burn for making attack of the clones do you like tim burton? – I guess what annoys you more than anything? – chewing w/ ur mouth open, loud breathing shudders tell me about the weirdest pair of socks you own – pink and quite ugly if you woke up tomorrow morning as the opposite sex, what would you do first? – poke him did you read fear street books? – nope how about sweet valley high? – No babysitter's club? the boxcar children? – Hell no goosebumps? – no, I liked ANIMORPHS! favorite show on nickelodeon (can be from the late 80's/early 90's when nick was good) - Rockos Modern Life, Pete and Pete, Angry Beavers, Rugrats, Hey Dude, Camp Ottowanna did you watch are you afraid of the dark? – Yep did zeebo the clown scare you? – very much where do you vacation every summer? – Montana with the family do you like the beach? – its overrated do you tan or burn easily? – I don’t burn bad, but I mostly tan do you make up your own words and lingo? if so tell me about it – Icee, yeash… my friends make up other stuff do you eat lots of tv dinners? – used to favorite hot pocket flavor – Pepperoni all the way if you could make one celebrity magically disappear, who would it be? – cant think of one how is life treating you? – could always be worse do people like you? – Don’t think so what do you think it is that makes the "popular" people popular? – Money and fear what do you wear the most: jeans, cords, dickies, khakis, skirts, or shorts? – jeans are you using a pc or mac? – mac baby do you like chunky peanut butter? – sometimes what amazes you about the opposite sex? – no comment are you in love with anyone? – No do you like anyone? – yeah if so, who – John Mayer why do you like them/why are you in love with them? – I just think he’s amazing (me is cornball) favorite cereal – honey bunches of oats name a movie that makes you cry – ummm gladiator what's something you like about the opposite sex, physically, that your friends think is odd? – Can’t like a guy with bad teeth. Must be pretty. And I actually LOVE brown eyes, blue is overrated is it true that only the good die young? – No, for example: mother teresa if so, are you going to live forever or die soon? – eh whatever do you live for today? – No, not when I have to worry about my future this much how fast can you run? – ask this question: how slow can you run? favorite band from the 60's/70's – Beatles have any of your friends had kids as teenagers? - no did they finish high school? - --- favorite 80's television show – teenage mutant ninja turtles were you even born in the 80's? – yeppers what year? – 88 have you ever taught a little kid a curse word? – Yep if so which one was it? – fuck : ) do you think little boys are horrendously ill behaved? – yess have you ever thrown anything at a moving car? if so, what? – I know I threw something bt I cant remember what name a villian in a movie that scared you when you were a kid - cruella de’vil OMG have you seen the original friday the thirteenth? – No the original chucky? – Yeah the original halloween? – No what's your favorite channel? - Comedy Central, VH1 what do you say when you stub your toe off of the corner of the coffee table? – ahhhhh shit shit shit what's the highest thing you've ever jumped off of and landed unharmed? – cant remember does it snow where you live? – No, I made it hail once tho if yes, do you go sled riding? - -- have you ever used anything weird, like a frisbee or a trashcan lid, for a sled? - ---- how many people do you know who were born in november? – 3 what month has the most people you know born in it? – September (6 family members, yuck) do holidays make you festive? – the opposite magazines you subscribe to – I keep getting YM and I don’t know whY! do you read the supermarket tabloids? – funny stuff, oprah’s bu grew 3 inches! have you ever smashed somebody's halloween pumpkin? - No. Thats mean ever had yours smashed? – No do you celebrate christmas? – yeah if not, do you still watch "how the grinch stole christmas" when it comes on television? - Yep! do you think the grinch movie starring jim carrey was a waste of money? – not really ever had a hot teacher? – not me personally, but Mr. B if yes, did you flirt with him/her? - No.. shucks how do you treat people you are attracted to? (this is not a stupid question; some people are immature and are mean to those they like) - Depends what do you want for your birthday this year? – A digital camera and CLOTHES omg I’ve worn the same crap 60 times have you ever egged somebody's house? - No, I TPed Katt’s has someone ever egged yours? – No do we all go a little mad sometimes? – oui oui what pisses you off more than anything in the world? – my dad do you still go trick or treating? - No do you believe in santa claus? – No have you ever worked in a supermarket? - no how about a restaurant? – No if yes, do you agree with me when i say that those are the two worst establishments to work in? – If you need money dude what color is your bedspread? - blue do your eyes change colors? – they get really really blue when I cry but other than that they stay blueygrey do you believe that we walked on the moon? – I am beginning to doubt what's your opinion of the u.s. retaliation in afghanistan? – hey, their not oppressed anymore, but we only did it b/c our asses were on the line do you live by yourself? – No :/ have you ever gotten a computer virus? – no if so, what was it and how did you get rid of it? – n/a describe your junior high/middle school gym teacher - Mr. Mayer...Nice guy, but lacks disciplinary skills and has favourites how do you react when someone is talking to you --up in your face-- and they have really bad breath? - Dont breathe what was your first date like? – n/a (keep bringing that up tho) did you go/are you going to the prom? – almost went to one if you've already gone, was it good or bad? explain why – do you get uneasy when you see a person of a different color than you walking down the same street as you in the middle of the night? - Nope if yes, do you think that makes you racist? – are you a vegetarian? – Nooo how about vegan? – nope if no to both, do you think you could be? - No way have you ever given up a certain type of food? if so, what was it and why did you do it? – pizza for a while, wayyy too many calories spit out a random song lyric for me. make sure you tell me the name of the song and who sings it! – “sometimes I wish that I was a coold beer, id rest assure that you would hold me near..”-john mayer who does the chores around your house? – Mum and me name one person who annoys you more than anyone else, and tell why – My dad, b/c he’s an ass what movie could you watch a million times and never get tired of? – ummm john m. dvd what movie have you watched a million times, and you still laugh at the jokes? – Jackass possibly what movie do you hope you never see again? – fear dot com have you ever hugged a stuffed animal or pillow and pretended that it was your significant other, or someone you had a crush on, and then someone caught you talking to it, and stroking its soft, fuzzy fur, and laughed at you and told the whole school? – whoa, nope never do you drive? – No ::pouts:: if so, do you like to drive at night or in the day time? – day would be better b/c of my stigmatism has anyone ever called you a bitch? – yeah has anyone ever called you an asshole? – I guess are you a bitch/asshole? – Sometimes what's the first thing you do when you get home from school/work? - change favorite pop tart flavor – none really do you play any musical instruments? if so, what? - used to play piano tell me about the best school-related activity you ever took part in – quizbowl is fun have you ever built a snowman? – No did you cry when it melted, or when the kid next door knocked its head off with a shovel? - erm what's your religion? – Cathlic/buddhist do you try to force it on other people? – Noooo do you knock on people's doors at 7 a.m. on saturdays, trying to give them a pamphlet and tell them about the lord, or ask random people at the mall if theyâ??ve been saved, yet you think that doesnâ??t count as forcing religion, you son of a bitch? – no.. what's the best restaurant you've ever eaten at? – crescent city steaks(yum) have you ever been flipping channels late at night and caught a glimpse of some porn on skinemax? – Yeah, at my friend’s party ion 3rd gr. if so, did you watch it? don't say no, i know you did – we were young, no! what's the code word or phrase you and your friends use for the word SEX? – sex.. is sex an uncomfortable topic for you? – who am I talking to? what is the one thing in the world that just looking at it makes you vomit, or come close to it? - ... when other people vomit, does it make you sick? – Yeah do your clothes match? - no what are you wearing right now? - peer helpers shirt(orange) and 8th gr pe shorts (purple) did you ever have those fisher price roller skates that go over top of your shoes? – no... did you have a bike with a banana seat? - no could you ride it? - ????? have you lived in the same house your entire life? – yep :/ whatâ??s the weirdest thing youâ??ve lived next to? – ohhh across the street there used to be blind crackdealers. They had a daughter too! who is the ugliest person youâ??ve ever seen? – no comment do you watch talk shows? - If the topics good do you think miss cleo is full of shit? – or course if not, have you called her and wasted your money, you idiot? – Nope what are your thoughts on keeping animals in captivity? – are they safer than they are in the wild? what do you think of all the â??superstoresâ?? that are popping up everywhere? (super walmart, super k-mart, super target)? - ::holds up index fingers in the sign of a cross:: back off, demons! what do you think of pop music? - Some isn’t bad, just funny(2gether, spice girls) tell me something i don't know – I was born sept 26..you never asked that : ( rape Ewan!

Spam [27 May 2003|09:57am] teenie06 Brian Griffin You're sophisticated and enjoy a good extra-dry martini every now and again. Oh, and you're a dog. Which Family Guy character are you? brought to you by Quizilla You are a duct tape prom dress and matching tux. Wow. You're completely obsessed, aren't you? Is there nothing that duct tape can't do. Always keep your motto in mind: "If you can't duct it, fuck it." What creative use for duct tape are you? brought to you by Quizilla I am Stanley! I have a big book that lets me see what it's like to be an animal. If you were a little kids show, which would you be? brought to you by Quizilla Your Beaker! One word describes you, and that is "MEEP!" What is your inner Muppet?(images) brought to you by Quizilla You are Bounce! You...like to bounce around I guess. What brand of detergent are you?!! brought to you by Quizilla "Child in you", well, the title explains it really, doesnt it? What Feeder =Comfort in Sound= song are you? brought to you by Quizilla You're "Bachelorette". Emotional and serious, you truly understand your emotions and yourself. You want to find the true meaning life and other things, and always make sure you can relate to everything around you. Which Bjork Song Are You (complete)? brought to you by Quizilla You are the Sleak Spy Flamingo...you are probably seen most often spying on people or drinking a martini/cabonated beverage that was shaken not stirred..:) What kind of Penguin are you? brought to you by Quizilla You are Hey Jupiter! You're quiet, intense, and probably sick of the world. You might be too dependant on things and constantly need to be saved. You'll probably be a poet or writer, if you aren't already. *~What Tori Amos music video are you?~* brought to you by Quizilla You are Dot Matrix!! Which SpaceBalls character are you? brought to you by Quizilla rape Ewan!

quick note [26 May 2003|11:58am] joolsandnigel [ mood | calm ] [ music | 40 days, 40 fights ] hey, in case anybody cares/is interested, ms. gruszczynski's (sp?) wedding announcement was in the living section of the newspaper today. yup. alright. that's it. ciao! lurv, ~jools rape Ewan!

funny funny funny [26 May 2003|10:48am] joolsandnigel [ mood | hungry ] [ music | a rush of blood to the head ] (this is weekend update from the salma hayek episode) Tina Fey: St. Patrick's Day is on Monday. Here with some thoughts on the celebration of all things Irish, is our own Jimmy Fallon! Jimmy Fallon: [ holding guitar ] St. Patrick's Day is coming up, and I can't wait! I love it! As you know, you don't have to be Irish to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. Last year, I went to my favorite Irish bar, and I was the only Irish guy there. [ singing to the tune of John Mayer's "Your Body Is A Wonderland" ] "There's a rabbi with a shillelagh There's a McCormack named Sean. There's an Indian dude playing bagpipes There's a Chinese leprechaun. Nobody's here from Ireland! Nobody's here from Ireland, that's for sure. Nobody's here from Ireland! Nobody's here from Ireland!" It's fun, uh.. people dance, they sing.. they drink. Uh.. and I have a favorite drink, uh.. [ singing to the tune of Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" ] "St. Patrick's Day, I think it's wonderful The day is here, for Guinness Beer. Guinness Beer, you're mysterious I pour you out, then wait an hour You are beautiful, I drank a case today! Now I weigh 300 pounds So won't you drink one down? Won't you drink one down? Today?" Of course, there's a big parade that goes up 5th Ave., but there's still this controversy about not letting everybody march. [ singing to the tune of Coldplay's "Clocks" ] "Bagpipes start to play You can march, unless you're gay Singing many different shades of green Don't mess with an angry queen. Singing let them march, and you will know Gay guys make better floats. Singing coo-oo-oo-ool float. Coo-oo-oo-ool float." Please remember that, uh.. this holiday can be a lot of fun, uh.. don't drink too much, okay? [ singing to the tune of Eminem's "Lose Yourself" ] "Look! You only have one shot! After 6 pints of Amstel, 3 Budweisers, 2 beers I never heard of - microbrews. Plus 1 Seagram's wine cooler you stole out of some girl's backpack. Then you ate everything you saw at the parade. Could you digest it? Or lose control of your bodily functions. Yo, my palms are sweaty. Corned beef, canned confetti Falling on my sweater already. Green confetti I'm bupring, But on purpose I keep forgettin' to throw up I don't think my brain will let me hold it down. Now, I'm bending over, it won't come out Time's up! Over! Blast! And back comes the cabbage There goes shamrocks Some wasted sandwiches I hope there's no cameras Oh, a weak bladder I won't until it don't matter I'll clean it next Saturday Puke yourself in the bathroom.." Tina Fey: For Weekend Update, I'm Tina Fey! And that's Jimmy Fallon! Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow. lmao.....loved the john mayer and coldplay ones.....genius, genius rape Ewan!

I miss yall!!!!!! [25 May 2003|11:56pm] ashes06 [ mood | bored ] I am so bored all of the time and i only wish we could do more. Now i remember the one good thing about school we get to talk everyday. the only person i live somewhat close to is teenie. I just want to get together and do something. I hope everyone has a 6-Flags pass we could have soo much fun going there. i have been there once already this season and i loved it batman the ride is totally amazing. F.Y.I. i am a roller coaster fanatic. i am totally obsessed with them and i will ride anything. I really want to ride the sky coaster (the bungee ride) i predict that i will love it By the way i discovered that i have esp! if you don't believe me ask maggie. i can't always use it though it doesn't work like that. F.Y.I. the story behind me esp I was at my grammer school the other day babysitting in tha library during a parent meeting and i started to roam the shelves. to my suprise i found a book on esp. that book described how to test and develop your skills. i think i am best at clarivoance ( ability to tell the future) so that is what i work on th most. i actually have small visions every now and then, but it is hard to find their meanings. I also have strong vibes alot. sorry didn't mean to ramble like that and it is true even if you don't believe me rape Ewan!

Wheeeee [25 May 2003|08:23pm] teenie06 Feeder "High" Guess I'm stuck in a dream Surrounded by colored leaves on the ground As I stare at the trees I see one fall down on my hand As I start to explore I can't ignore a man He turns his head around His face was all worn by the sun I'm going out for a while So I can get high with my friends I will I'm going out for a while Don't wait up cause I won't be home Today Drifting down a road Losing myself in a dream Feel my hands getting cold Sat in a boat on a lake I'm going out for a while So I can get high with my friends I will I'm going out for a while Don't wait up cause I won't be home Today Climbing up trying my best As I sink Climbing up trying my best As I sink again Lying back on the floor Reaching up high into space See myself in a glass I'm counting the lines on my face Again I'm counting the lines on my face Again I'm going out for a while So I can get high with my friends I will I'm going out for a while Don't wait up cause I won't be home Today I'm going out for a while So I can get high with my friends I will I'm going out for a while Don't wait up cause I won't be home Today Today, Today, Today, Today, Today............ Feeder "Paper Faces" Staring at paperfaces expressions like empty pages day after day Waiting for the light to change now reaching for a cloud to come down And cover me Can't shut you out can't get you out slide away slide away slide away slide away Can't take you down can't watch you drown Slide away slide away slide away slide away Waiting for the world to change now disillusion takes a bite out and swallows me Looking for a way to get out wishing that the rush would come down And smother me Can't shut you out can't get you out slide away slide away slide away slide away Can't take you down can't watch you drown Slide away slide away slide away slide away If you can learn to be yourself then that's okay If you can find a reason now don't drift away Walking down streets to nowhere stepping on feet with no cares losing myself Can't shut you out can't get you out slide away slide away slide away slide away Can't take you down can't watch you drown Slide away slide away slide away slide away Can't shut you out can't get you out slide away slide away slide away slide away Can't take you down can't watch you drown Slide away slide away slide away slide away Sarah Mclaughlin "Silence" Give me release witness me I am outside give me peace Heaven holds a sense of wonder and I wanted to believe that I'd get caught up when the rage in me subsides Passion choke the flower 'til she cries no more possessing all the beauty hungry still for more Heaven holds a sense of wonder... I am sinking in this silence in this white wave in this silence I believe I can't help this longing comfort me I can't hold it all in if you won't let me Heaven holds a sense of wonder... In this white wave I am sinking in this silence in this white wave in this silence I believe I have seen you in this white wave you are silent you are breathing in this white wave I am free Middle-aged. You'll die from something unexpected, just when your kids are going to college or something great is happening. Cause Unknown. At what age will you die? brought to you by Quizilla You are a Teddy Bear. What Fruity Object Are You? brought to you by Quizilla rape Ewan!

survey [25 May 2003|07:54pm] joolsandnigel [ mood | hungry ] [ music | the scientist ] last cigarette: never last car ride: from mass last kiss: umm...when i said good-bye to my momma as she left for the hospital last good cry: eh...some time ago (can't exactly remember) last library book checked out: geez...i guess the kafka books last movie seen: (omg) dude, where's my car? (yeah, i was hanging out w/ my brothers...) last book read: the pianist last cuss word uttered: er...it was either bitch, damn, or ass (can't remember) last beverage drank: water? last food consumed: chocolate graham thingy from starbucks last crush: er...? last phone call: received: my momma from the hospital; made: to silvia this morning last tv show watched: durr... malcolm in the middle (three dvd's worth of it, mind you) last time showered: morning, i think last shoes worn: those water shoe thingies while i was canoeing/hanging out at the river and beach yesterday last cd played: coldplay last item bought: wow...um...oh yeah! the malcolm in the middle dvd's (durr, stupid) last downloaded: uh..... last annoyance: my stupid fingers! my god, i've been practicing that piano piece for like forever, but, noooooo, my fingers decided to be spastic.....besides the fact that they're already messed up (i swear! you should see my pinky! it's all....weird and duvallian split...lmao) last disappointment: hmm....myself, i think last soda drank: coke (drank like a thousand yesterday after we finished canoeing/swimming) last thing written: the play i'm working on last word spoken: geez....can't remember.... last sleep: yesterday in the car (on the way back from franklinton....what i did last night didn't really count as sleep) last IM: maggie last weird encounter: me and the massive log in the water (ooh, and the spiders and water moccassins) last ice cream eaten: chocolate chip cookie dough (it's actually my brother's, but shhh...) last time amused: while watching malcolm in the middle w/ brothers....actually, all the time w/ brothers last time wanting to die: er.....'k last time in love: while watching francis (lol) last time hugged: saying good-bye to my momma as she left for the hospital last time scolded: yesterday b/f we left for franklinton last time resentful: yesterday last chair sat in: do the pews at mass count? last lipstick used: uh.... last time dancing: um, i don't think you would consider it dancing...more like spasing.... last poster looked at: uh...the one of the pope and mother teresa that my mom has hanging above the computer last show attended: geez....aida? (that was forever ago) last webpage visited: umm....this one? alrighties, hope y'all enjoyed....riiiiiiiiiight.....i'm gonna go find me some food love, ~jools rape Ewan!

survey [25 May 2003|03:17pm] blueyedevilpixi [ mood | indescribable ] [ music | What Its Like- Everlast ] last cigarette: .... last car ride: From barnes & noble last kiss: during the kiss of peace @ church last good cry: hmmm a week ago? last library book checked out: those darwin books last movie seen: Down with Love last book read: Currently in Prozac Nation last cuss word uttered: bitch last beverage drank: plain mocha frap last food consumed: lil peice of keylime pie thingie (blurgh) last crush: zummm dunno last phone call: calling cassie on sat. last tv show watched: cant remember last time showered: morning last shoes worn: old sketchers last cd played: Foo Fighters yest. last item bought: books last downloaded: no clue last annoyance: someone.... last disappointment: someone last soda drank: livewire mountain dew? last thing written: aside from this?: Journal entry last word spoken: yeah last sleep: this morning last IM: teenie last weird encounter: seeing erin @ a bookstore(like whoa!) last ice cream eaten: rocky road last time amused: books last time wanting to die: :) last time in love: with frap. last time hugged: church last time scolded: today last time resentful: today last chair sat in: one in the coffe place @ B & N last lipstick used: the pink stuff last time dancing: sat. last poster looked at: no clue last show attended: Good Charlotte concert? last webpage visited: deadjournal On that note I really miss deadjournal. zzzzzzzzzz I should be straightening up. mwant to rent mooovies. and go to gym. bye! -mags rape Ewan!

hilarious fanfiction [25 May 2003|09:52am] joolsandnigel [ mood | crazy ] [ music | coldplay ] alright, while my friend was making me look up that other fanfic, i decided to look around and see what else they have. o.m.g. i found this one (i clicked on it b/c it said uber parody....hahahahha, genius) and i laughed my ass off. y'all have to read it. if you've seen the movies, then you should be good. omg, it's so great. or maybe it's b/c i've only had like three hours of sleep after spending the whole day canoeing. hmm. either way, READ THIS!!! if it sucks, then...er...just content yourself w/ the though that every bone in my body hurts and i keep hitting my knee w/ the huge bruise against stuff (i'm such a klutz) this is by magic carpet ride and it's called "X2: The Uber Parody" (it's still unfinished) Cut to shot of : The White House FANGIRLS IN AUDIENCE: Who *cares* about the White House? Get to Wolverine! THE REST OF THE AUDIENCE: Shut up! Some of us are watching for the plot! Meanwhile On- screen An EVIL LOOKING blue mutant is RAMPAGING through the White House and KNOCKING OVER guards in what is supposed to be an incredibly TENSE and EXCITING scene. Unfortunately, the camera shakes so much, no one knows what the hell is going on. DESPERATE FANGIRL IN AUDIENCE: I want to see Wolveri- THE DESPERATE FANGIRL has a ROLL OF DUCT TAPE and a TICKET STUB shoved in her mouth for being so annoying. On Screen EVIL LOOKING MUTANT: *Attacks the President.* THE PRESIDENT: *Screams like a girl.* TRUSTY SECURITY GUARD: Don't worry Mr President! I'll save you! *shoots EVIL LOOKING mutant* EVIL LOOKING MUTANT: *vanishes, leaving a spiffy looking knife in the President's ass* At some Museum/Boring 'Educational' place JEAN GREY: *Cries in a manner that reminds us of Charity from Passions* Oh Scott! Why do I get this horrible feeling something terrible is going to happen! CYCLOPS: Since I have all but three scenes in this movie, and my on-screen charisma is about the same as a sopping wet towel, I'd better make the most of this. * Proceeds to act MANLY* Don't worry Jean my love, I won't let anything happen to you! JEAN GREY: Really? *Flutters eyelashes* CYCLOPS: Yes. *Flutters eyelashes back* They begin to EMBRACE and whisper SWEET NOTHINGS in each others ears. STORM: *looking uncomfortable* Um, the children are making a scene. Should we go stop them? JEAN GREY: They'll be fine…*Whispers to Scott about the lack of people in the ANCIENT POTTERY section of the museum. CYCLOPS: I have suddenly developed an interest in… Ancient East-Tibetan plates. Jean, would you mind accompanying me to the Ancient Pottery section? JEAN GREY: *flirtatiously* With pleasure… STORM: *Shudders* In the Museum Cafeteria PYRO is setting an irritating HECKLER on FIRE. This gives the impression he is EVIL and will probably SWITCH SIDES during the film. ICEMAN is trying to stop him, but is FAILING MISERABLY. ROGUE: Ugh, ah can’t believe you guys are so immature! Ah will now conveniently ignore the fact that Wolverine is the most irresponsible mutant to ever walk the face of the earth and preach…. LOGAN WOULD NEVER DO THIS! ICEMAN: *ignoring screaming HECKLER in the background* You really don't love me do you? ROGUE: Of course ah do! Ah only worship Logan in a Pagan God-like way. Ah would certainly never leave you for his tall, rugged, hairy manliness and totally buff body…*begins to drool uncontrollably* ICEMAN: Um, Rogue…you're drooling…Are you thinking about me? Meanwhile, the HECKLER is still on FIRE. PYRO is LAUGHING EVILLY, once again giving the impression he advocates cruelty to humans and will SWITCH SIDES. Suddenly the scene PAUSES, and everyone in the room is frozen in a RIDICULOUS, STUPID, or COMPROMISING POSITION. ROGUE: What's goin’ on? PROFESSOR X wheels out towards the young mutants. Before he manages to open his mouth, most of the AUDIENCE and MUTANTS fall asleep, knowing an inevitable WISE LECTURE is coming. PROF X: *Proceeds to make a long boring speech, that nobody listens to.* JEAN GREY and CYCLOPS return, looking slightly disheveled. CYCLOPS: What did we miss? JEAN GREY: You missed nothing babe, you hit the right spot everytime… STORM: Oh for God's sakes - get a room! Cut to: Some place where it's snowing, and more importantly; a shot of Wolverine tramping through the snow DESPERATE FAN GIRL: *muffled because of the DUCT TAPE and TICKET STUB* Oh myth GOD ith Wolverine!!! FANGIRLS IN AUDIENCE: *Swoon* WOLVERINE is HIKING in a very MANLY fashion through the snow. Despite the fact his muttonchops are FROZEN, he still manages to look extremely hot. HEAVY BREATHING from the FANGIRLS is heard ALL AROUND… Nothing much else happens, and even if it was relevant to the plot NO ONE is really paying attention… At the X Mansion WOLVERINE enters the X Mansion, still looking EXTREMELY HOT. Rogue runs to him like a Days of our Lives script writer to the CUT AND PASTE tools… ROGUE: Logan! You came back! * Throws her arms around his waist, noticeably near his CROTCH* WOLVERINE: uh… Hey kid. Do you mind letting go now? *He tries to push Rogue away, but she appears to be surgically attached to his WAIST/CROTCH* Meanwhile, ICEMAN has noticed Rogue's DESPERATE DISPLAY of affection towards someone other than him. He struts up to Rogue and puts a hand on her shoulder. ICEMAN: Hi, I'm her BOYFRIEND. She's MY GIRLFRIEND. That means only WE can share bodily fluids. WOLVERINE: She's a virtual vampire, how the hell can you share anything? ICEMAN: ….Well…Our relationship is based on a DEEP EMOTIONAL BOND and we will fight our HORMONAL URGES because we love each other so much…That, and the fact that if she touches she'll sap me of my life energy and KILL me in an AGONISING manner. That's just so not worth a hand job. But if you lay one hairy hand on her… WOLVERINE: Fuck off bub. ICEMAN: Yes sir… Wolverine goes to open his mouth to say something else, but then a GREAT SHINING LIGHT appears from the stairs. EVERYONE turns to look, except one poor mutant who is screaming that he is BLINDED by the LIGHT. Jean Grey is standing at the stairs, looking so RADIANT and ATTRACTIVE, she is glowing as if she was hit by the CHERNOYBYL NUCLEAR ACCIDENT in 1989. JEAN GREY: Hello Logan. WOLVERINE: *in a daze* Jean… JEAN GREY is slowly walking down the stairs a-la She's all that mode. Her hair is in a SEXY MODERN STYLE and she is SMILING BEAUTIFULLY. WOLVERINE is making NO ATTEMPT to stop his drooling. The SEXUAL TENSION between the two is so incredibly HOT and BURNING that the AUDIENCE feels a SHIVER run down their SPINE and into their GROINS. CYCLOPS appears, scowling as per usual. CYCLOPS: *Gives Wolverine a withering glance as he notices the SEXUAL TENSION between him and his girlfriend * ….Bitch! JEAN GREY: *Ignoring Cyclops * So Logan, how are things? WOLVERINE: *Drools* JEAN GREY: Well, now that I have appeared for no apparent reason other than to create BLISTERING SEXUAL TENSION between myself and Wolverine, I'll be going now… CYCLOPS: *GLARES as Wolverine checks out Jean's ASS when she leaves* ROGUE: *GLARES at Jean Grey jealously.* ICEMAN: *GLARES at the floor, since there is no one really for him to glare at.* WOLVERINE: *Oblivious to the amount of irritated people surrounding him.* Well, I'd best be off to see Professor X now I've had my eye candy fix. WOLVERINE walks off, UNAWARE of the ERECTION in his PANTS. However ROGUE has noticed and is trying not to appear AROUSED. STORM finally appears in the hall. STORM: Is it true Logan's back? ROGUE: * Swoons in a manner similar to the FANGIRLS in the AUDIENCE* STORM: …I'll take that as a 'yes' then. In Cerebro WOLVERINE lights a cigar, filling Professor X's precious Cerebro with TOXIC fumes. DESPERATE FANGIRL IN AUDIENCE: Look, he's SMOKING a CIGAR! REST OF AUDIENCE: Shut *up*! PROFESSOR X : Logan, put out the cigar. WOLVERINE: *Stabs it into his palm, then winces * DESPERATE FANGIRL: Oh no! He's hur - The person sitting next to the FANGIRL punches her in the FACE, rendering her UNCONSCIOUS. PROFESSOR X: *Is going on and on about how Cerebro is connected to EVERY MUTANT and PERSON on the planet, and HOW IF HE CONCENTRATES TOO HARD, PEOPLE MIGHT DIE* AUDIENCE MEMBERS WHO HAVE SEEN THE FIRST FILM: Oh god, please don't tell me they're going to re-hash the Cerebro plot again. PROFESSOR X: Not exactly. The plot will have similar elements, but this time, instead of Rogue being used to destroy humans, it will be ME used to destroy mutants! WOLVERINE: Now you've given the plot away! PROFESSOR X: Oh like you couldn't tell that was coming when I EMPHASISED just how DANGEROUS Cerebro would be if it FELL into the WRONG HANDS! IMAGINE, if someone who HATED MUTANTS got hold of this technology…It would end in nothing but DISASTER! WOLVERINE: *sigh* Cut to shot of White House The PRESIDENT is speaking to a BAD GUY. We know he is a BAD GUY, because his assistant is the same EVIL girl with the metal claws that was seen on the advertisement for X men 2 duking it out with Wolverine. STRYKER: *Showing the President dodgy looking photos of a SCHOOL* See, because this educational facility has a JET PLANE it is obvious that this school is REALLY a Mutant Training camp! I request permission to go in, blast all the mutant children, and thus begin a WAR against these HIDEOUS monstrosities of nature! PRESIDENT: Okay, fine….Start the war…But that mutant who tried to kill me left such a pretty knife…*strokes the knife* STRYKER: Mr President…That’s rather disturbing. Please stop it. Meanwhile, Stryker's Asian assistant is looking OMINOUS and SHIFTY… The X mansion - Night time. Professor X and Mr Tight-Ass have gone to visit Magneto, Jean Grey and Storm have gone to find the EVIL LOOKING mutant, leaving Wolverine ALONE with a school FILLED with IMPRESSIONABLE YOUNG children. WOLVERINE is wandering the mansion, searching for ALCOHOL. WOLVERINE: Don't you have booze in this place? ICEMAN: No, this is a school. We only drink alcohol on the weekends, and in any case, it's all stored under Jubilee's bed. You wanna go get it off her? WOLVERINE: *shudders* ICEMAN: There's some crappy soda in the cabinet though. WOLVERINE pulls out a soda. WOLVERINE: Can you cool that for me? ICEMAN: Okay *He proceeds to freeze the drink, and part of Wolverine's arm* ICEMAN: Oh! I'm so…sorry! I so didn't mean…to do that. When Wolverine turns around to defrost his arm under warm water, Iceman GRINS EVILLY and mutters something under his breath about "ROGUE" and "HAIRY BASTARDS WHO THINK THEY’RE SO COOL". Magneto's Cell PROFESSOR X: Erik, I know you had something to do with this mutant attack on the president. Tell me what you know. There is some BORING dialogue between them, but once again, NO ONE is listening. SUDDENLY, Professor X is caught COMPLETELY UNAWARE by Stryker, DESPITE the fact that he should have seen it coming a BLOODY MILE AWAY. CYCLOPS: Don’t worry Professor, I’ll save you! PROFESSOR X: *Realising his only hope is Cyclops * Oh god! I’m doomed! CYCLOPS: Not to fear! I’ll break the door down with my UBER LASER BEAM! He promptly has his ASS KICKED by Stryker’s Asian Assistant… PROFESSOR X: Shit! I knew I should have brought Storm with me instead! Church in Boston NIGHTCRAWLER AKA EVIL LOOKING MUTANT: *shrieks hysterical German insults at the two X-Women while he TELEPORTS around a SPOOKY LOOKING church * MEMBERS OF AUDIENCE WHO SPEAK GERMAN: Oh my god! How can he say that about Storm’s mother?! STORM: We’re here to help you... NIGHTCRAWLER: *Continues shrieking * JEAN GREY: Ororo, just take him down. The sooner we deal with this the sooner I can get back to creating SEXUAL TENSION between Logan and myself. STORM: *Rolling her eyes* Fine. Storm creates a SPECTACULAR lightning attack and forces Nightcrawler to stop. AUDIENCE : *taking a good look at Nightcrawler’s face* Hey, isn’t that the campy guy from Goldeneye? You know, the henchman who kept saying "I am invincible !" in a really TACKY RUSSIAN accent? THE ONLY ALAN CUMMINGS FANGIRL IN THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE: *swoon* Yes!! NIGHTCRAWLER: * In an all- new TACKY GERMAN accent * Who are you? STORM: It’s alright, we’re freaks, just like you. We’re here to find out why you tried to kill the President. NIGHTCRAWER: Ohhh. Den I am very sorry about vat I said about your mudder… STORM: Uh…okay. But what we want to know is; why did you try to kill the President? NIGHTCRAWLER: I tried to kill de President? STORM: Jean! He says he has no idea he did anything wrong…*Pauses to think for a moment * This must mean he’s telling the truth, because everytime people say something they mean it! JEAN shrugs and begins EXAMINING her NAILS out of boredom. STORM: Now do tell me about your TRAGIC and PAIN FILLED childhood so I can fuss over you and create my very OWN SEXUAL TENSION. NIGHTCRAWLER: Vell, I alvays had people making fun of me because of my tail. STORM: That’s AWFUL! Please allow me to stroke your chest while you tell your story of woe… JEAN GREY: Hey that’s not fair! I’m the only one who’s allowed to get any in this film! The X Mansion BIG helicopters land in the school, and SCARY soldiers break into the school. AUDIENCE: Yay! Now we get to see Wolverine kill people with those big metal claws! WOLVERINE begins to SLICE, STAB, SCRATCH and IMPALE the SCARY soldiers to death with his metal claws. We don’t feel sorry for the soldiers because they are BAD and were going to kill the VIOLENT, but extremely COOL mutants. WOLVERINE is looking very SWEATY and ATTRACTIVE. FANGIRLS IN AUDIENCE: *Are watching VERY closely, but some are SWOONING already* Meanwhile, ICEMAN is valiantly trying to save Rogue, but is as usual, FAILING MISERABLY. Mutants are running ALL OVER THE PLACE, confusing the SCARY soldiers just long enough to be killed by Wolverine. DESPERATE FANGIRL: He’s so buff! And so…violent! I am totally wetting my panties! PERSON SITTING NEXT TO THE FANGIRL: What?!? DESPERATE FANGIRL: *Realises she’s overshared* Um…Nothing. Look! Something is happening on screen! Finally Wolverine, Rogue, Iceman and Pyro end up in the SECRET UNDERGROUND GARAGE. They decide to take the ULTRA SPIFFY looking SPORTY MAZDA (which co-incidentally, was the same car shown in the ads before the movie – propaganda anyone?) WOLVERINE: I have to do this alone. ROGUE: Ah’m coming too! Ah’ll go anywhere with you Mister Frodo, Ah mean Logan! Yes… Logan… *Looks shifty* ICEMAN: Well I’m coming along because I don’t want to leave Rogue alone with you and if I stay here, I’ll undoubtedly be killed by a SCARY soldier. PYRO: If I don’t come with you guys, no one will notice me. So I’m coming too! *points at the car *To the Mutant- Mobile! And awaaaay! They DRIVE OFF in the ULTRA SPIFFY SPORTY MAZDA to Iceman’s house in Boston. Magneto’s Cell The UGLY, IRRITATING guard is in Magneto’s cell, giving him dinner or something. Magneto then proceeds to TEAR OUT the EXTRA IRON injected into the guard’s bloodstream (by Mystique) in a HORRIBLE, BLOODY WAY. AUDIENCE: Cool/Gross!!! Magneto then ESCAPES, killing everyone in his surroundings. Boston – Bobby’s house ICEMAN: Rogue, will you kiss me? ROGUE: No. ICEMAN: Please? ROGUE: Do you really want mah to kill you? ICEMAN puts on his best POUTY FACE. Even though he looks like a BABOON GIVING BIRTH, Rogue is still attracted to him. ROGUE: Awww, you look so cute when you’re desperate! They KISS. Everyone in the AUDIENCE is getting RESTLESS. ROGUE begins to SUCK THE LIFE out of ICEMAN. The AUDIENCE is slightly GRATIFIED. Downstairs in the kitchen Wolverine is of course, searching for more ALCOHOL. He hears a SUSPICIOUS NOISE coming from the lounge room and goes to INVESTIGATE. Something shuffles around and Wolverine quickly retracts his BIG METAL CLAWS…Only to discover the SUSPICIOUS NOISE maker is only a CAT. The CAT looks up at him, then proceeds to lick his METAL CLAWS. FANGIRLS IN AUDIENCE: Oh! The combined CUTENESS of a kitty-cat and Hugh Jackman looking perplexed is too much for us! *They pass out from the sheer "cuteness" * DESPERATE FANGIRL: I wish that cat was me and I wish that claw was something else of Wolverine’s… The person sitting next to the DESPERATE FANGIRL has given up telling her to shut up, and is now seriously considering COMITTING HOMICIDE. Or at the very least MOVING CINEMAS. On screen ICEMAN’S PARENTS and his SIBLING have arrived home to discover a HAIRY STRANGER in the lounge room. Iceman rushes downstairs at his mother’s scream and is frantically trying to come up with a plausible excuse. ICEMAN’S MOTHER: Bobby…Who is this man and why is he molesting our cat? ICEMAN: Uh.. He’s a teacher at my school… ICEMAN’S FATHER: What does he teach? How to murder defenseless animals 101? ICEMAN: He teaches…uh…Hair styling…and Self defense. ROGUE: And he teaches us how to create SEXUAL TENSION, which is of course, the most valuable skill needed for today’s society. *A dreamy expression passes over her face * EVERYONE exchanges GLANCES… ICEMAN: Look, there’s something I need to tell you… ICEMAN’S BROTHER: Oh my god! You’re gay aren’t you? ICEMAN: What? No! It’s something else! ICEMAN’S FATHER: Your school is really a brothel? ICEMAN: Well that too…Can I tell you about it in the other more expensive looking lounge? Cut to: The more expensive looking lounge. Iceman has just told his family he’s a mutant, and that his "school" is really a school for people like him. ICEMAN’S MOTHER: Have you tried…Not being a freak of nature? I mean, imagine what my Bridge friends will say! Upstairs… ICEMAN’S Brother, who is an ANNOYING SNEAK, has gone to phone the POLICE, presumably to create more TENSION in the plot. Cut to: Downstairs ROGUE: Hey Bobby, where has your annoying younger brother gone? Y’ know, the sibling that was always so jealous of you? WOLVERINE: He’s gone to phone the police. ROGUE: How do you know that? WOLVERINE: He was looking ominous, then when he said he had to go upstairs because he was "having a miscarriage" I got suspicious… ROGUE: Y’ really think he’s phoned the cops? PYRO: You think? Sounds of POLICE SIRENS can be HEARD in the distance. SUSPENSFUL music BEGINS to play. ICEMAN: Oh my god! I can’t believe he’d do this to me! WOLVERINE: Come on, we’ve got to get the hell out of here. PYRO: To the Mutant-Mobile then! They RUN for the front porch, but they are SURROUNDED by police cars/swat teams/other important looking people. They assume the appropriate positions. Wolverine is at the front, his METAL CLAWS poised for attack, Iceman is TRYING to look THREATENING, but just appears GAY, Pyro is SMIRKING EVILLY, and Rogue is COWERING behind Logan as usual. RANDOM POLICE OFFICER: *To Wolverine* Put your hands up! And drop the knives! AUDIENCE: He *can’t!* WOLVERINE: I can’t… RANDOM POLICE OFFICER: *Shoots Wolverine in the head* FANGIRLS IN AUDIENCE WHO ARE UNAWARE OF WOLVERINE’S HEALING POWERS: Shock! Horror! Gasp! ROGUE: Mister Logan…NOOOoooooOO! PYRO: Finally, a chance to show off my cool power! PYRO begins to blast the HELPLESS humans with FIREBALLS. He is LAUGHING EVILLY again. ICEMAN: John! Stop it! PYRO: But killing humans is so much fun! He CONTINUES wreaking DESTRUCTION, proving that he has NO SELF CONTROL and will eventually SWITCH SIDES. Rogue is so DISTRAUGHT by Logan’s apparent DEATH, she grabs PYRO, planning to steal his powers and commit suicide by SETTING HERSELF ON FIRE. Luckily, she WEAKENS Pyro so much, he stops shooting fireballs and she just falls over. I think ICEMAN also does something around this point, but I honestly CAN’T REMEMBER. Meanwhile, the bullet pops out of WOLVERINE’S HEAD and he is back to his usual hot self. RANDOM POLICE OFFICER: Dear god! All of this has only reinforced the view that all mutants are bad and are going to kill us all! Storm, Jean and NIghtcrawler arrive at the house just in the NICK OF TIME in the SLEEK and SYLISH X-Jet, blowing away most of the police officers with the TURBO ENGINES as they land. EVERYONE runs to the JET… Cut to: The secret laboratory in some Canadian place PROFESSOR X: What do you want with me? I’m only an old and sage mutant who wants peace in this world. And I am in a wheelchair…That makes me twice as frail and helpless… STRYKER: Playing the guilt card won’t work on me Charles. You will help me rid the world of all mutants or I will use my freaky mutant son to force you into helping me. PROFESSOR X: But I don’t want to kill all the mutants! STRYKER: Too bad then. PROFESSOR X: *shaking head* That’ll teach me for feeling sorry for Scott… ‘But please Mr Xavier, I haven’t been on a mission in EVER so long…’ I’m a fool! Now we’re all doomed because of my own stupidity. STYRKER: Darned tootin! The X-Jet ICEMAN: *whispering to Rogue * Who’s the blue dude? STORM: He is a bad-mutant-turned-good, with a traumatic past and powers that will eventually be used to save the world. He’s also around so I can have my very own SEXUAL/ROMANTIC TENSION. ICEMAN: Uh..Cool. Suddenly, the jet is SPOTTED by human fighter planes. Naturally, the humans are suspicious because the X – Jet is an unidentifiable flying object, and it is PHALLIC shaped. They begin to make THREATENING MILTARY MESSAGES over the RADIO. FIGHTER JET 1: *military speech for ‘lower the plane to 2000 feet’ or something* STORM: Oh no! I’d better lower the jet then. JEAN GREY: Wait a minute, are you sure it’s not a trap? STORM: Jean, you’re so paranoid. As IF it’s a trap! It IS…. The human FIGHTER PLANES begin firing powerful looking missiles at the X-Jet. AUDIENCE: Oh yes…This is THRILLING. I wonder if Storm will create some sort of wild weather to get rid of the fighter planes? She DOES, using a Special Effects sequence that probably cost at least ONE MILLION DOLLARS and a dozen COMPUTER PROGRAMS to make. Then, to add more TENSION, the back opening of the jet OPENS, sucking Rogue, who has stupidly NOT PUT ON HER SEATBELT, out of the plane. ROGUE: *flying through the air* Logan! Help me! LOGAN: How many times do I have to fuckin’ save that idiot? NIGHTCRAWLER: Don’t vorry! I vill save Rogue by teleporting, thus giving the sound effects crew an opportunity to create my spiffy "Bamph" sound! He TELEPORTS to Rogue, catches her, and is back in the jet in an instant. EVERYONE sighs in RELIEF. ROGUE: *Clutching her rescuer in gratitude * Thank ya Lo- Wait a minute! You’re not Logan! You’re that ugly mutant with pointy teeth! NIGHTCRAWLER FANGIRLS IN THE AUDIENCE: She called Kurt ugly! Let’s throw things at the screen! Only TWO AUDIENCE MEMBERS pelt the screen with POPCORN… On Screen STORM: Something's happening! There is a scene positively FILLED with SUSPENSE as the X jet PLUMMETS towards the earth. STORM is looking like she has just seen CYCLOPS NAKED, ROGUE is SCREAMING in FEAR, NIGHTCRAWLER is PRAYING for his life in German because it sounds COOLER, and WOLVERINE is trying to appear not scared, and so looks CONSTIPATED instead. AUDIENCE: * Are all screaming from sheer horror because the GIANT SPEAKERS in the MEGA PLEX are amplifying the screeching of the " Falling Jet" sound effects to the point of DEAFENING them… * STORM: Now what's happening? The X- Jet is being DRAGGED downwards to MAGNETO, who was conveniently walking past with Mystique, PLOTTING against EVERYONE. MAGNETO: Hello again! EVERYONE IN THE JET: Oh shit! MAGNETO: It’s alright, I will not kill you all today because we will have to form an alliance against the humans, which is why this film is titled X2 – X men united. STORM: Lucky for us then… In some clearing …somewhere – Night Time Magneto, Mystique, Wolverine and Storm all discuss the WAR against MUTANTS and the Professor’s demise. STORM: I asked the Professor if I could go with him, but he insisted on taking Scott…I hope he’s alright, where ever he is. WOLVERINE: If Cyclops the bitch is still with him, then he’s screwed. JEAN GREY: I should make some sort of comment, considering you’re referring to my fiancée, but I’m much too busy trying to get your attention to create some CHEMISTRY between us. *Hitches her skirt up, to Wolverine’s APPRECIATION * Meanwhile, Magneto reveals he knows what is going on, and what Stryker’s plans are. But no one really cares, since the plot has already been GUESSED by most of AUDIENCE ALREADY. Somewhere in the clearing, near the X-Jet. WOLVERINE is looking pensive. FANGIRLS IN AUDIENCE: Doesn’t he look handsome when he thinks? IRRITATED BOYFRIEND OF ONE OF THE FANGIRLS: But he never thinks, so technically he’s always ugly. The BOYFRIEND is BASHED over the HEAD with a HANDBAG for committing the HEINOUS CRIME of saying Wolverine is UNATTRACTIVE… JEAN GREY: Hello Logan. It’s a beautiful night isn’t it? WOLVERINE: *Nods, staring directly at Jean’s breasts * JEAN GREY: So…would you like to begin the gratuitous kissing scene where I push you away, now or later? WOLVERINE: Now is good. JEAN GREY: *Jumps forwards and attaches herself to Wolverine, much to all the fangirls DISGUST* The AUDIENCE is ODDLY reminded of a documentary they saw on LEECHES the week before. After a STEAMY PASHING session, which seems to last at least FIVE PASSIONATE minutes, Jean suddenly pulls away. WOLVERINE: What is it? Is it the sideburns? Are they scratching your face? JEAN GREY: No, it’s not *that*… It's…It's….I just can’t be with you! I love him… WOLVERINE: The bitch? JEAN GREY: Yes…I have just had an attack of conscience…and I’ve realised that Scott’s hideous hairstyle and up-tight demeanor are just too important to me. They are the very foundation of our relationship. I’m afraid you’re too wild and interesting to be my life partner. FANGIRLS IN AUDIENCE: *Shrieking * You don’t know what’s good for you Jean Grey! Telepaths are meant to be SMART ! JEAN GREY: *Tearfully* Goodbye Logan… WOLVERINE: Don’t cry for me…I’m already dead. Jean LEAVES him. Wolverine looks miserable and HEARTBROKEN. FANGIRLS IN AUDIENCE: Poor Wolvie! He’s *sniff * so hurt! THE ONLY MEMBER OF THE AUDIENCE WITH RATIONAL LOGIC LEFT: Wolvie?? On Screen Wolverine is lying in his tent, still looking heartbroken. Suddenly, Jean Grey ENTERS, looking SEDUCTIVE. WOLVERINE: Jean? What are you- JEAN GREY: Quiet! I am here to seduce you and make passionate love to you. Are you complaining? WOLVERINE: Shit no! JEAN GREY: Good. She STRADDLES Wolverine and they begin to MAKE OUT…again…But all is NOT WHAT IT SEEMS. WOLVERINE runs his hands over big scars over Jean's body, revealing that she is really lusty MYSTIQUE in DISGUISE. THE AUDIENCE: *What the?* WOLVERINE: *What the?* Get the fuck off me! JEAN GREY morphs back into MYSTIQUE. MYSTIQUE: *seductively* But why not? What do *you* want? I can be anyone you desire… Mystique proceeds to morph into ROGUE, STORM, JEAN and then various PLAYBOY MODELS. WOLVERINE: I want you to get off me! MYSTIQUE morphs into STRYKER. MYSTIQUE: What if I told you , you could put it…anywhere… WOLVERINE: Just….Get out… Mystique reluctantly leaves, but not before copping a good FEEL of Wolverine's ASS. Cut to: The secret laboratory in some Canadian place STRYKER: *talking to Professor X* I am going to now inject you with a mind controlling substance that I've removed from my mutant son's spinal cord. Then he will proceed to control you, use my cheaply built knock-off of Cerebro and force you to kill ALL THE MUTANTS! Muarharharhar… PROFESSOR X: You seem to have a lot of repressed negative energy, maybe you should try meditation…Or yoga. STRYKER IGNORES the professor and wheels in his CREEPY looking son. STRYKER: Make me proud son! Stryker's CREEPY son begins controlling Professor X's mind, by assuming the form of an even CREEPIER looking little girl. The X-Jet STORM is watching Pyro anxiously, since he is sitting next to MAGNETO and MYSTIQUE. STORM: Um, should we be letting the impressionable children sit next to the psychotic mutant terrorist? JEAN GREY: Oh Storm, they're not *that* impressionable… PYRO: * to Magneto* You have a gay helmet. What's it for? MAGNETO: What's it to you? PYRO: Nothing…But since I have virtually no screen time with the GOOD GUYS, I am considering SWITCHING SIDES. MAGNETO: If you're still not sure about joining us, keep in mind that Mystique is the Brotherhood concubine… PYRO: Really? * looks over at Mystique with wide eyes* She WINKS back, then morphs into a RANDOM ATTRACTIVE woman . PYRO: Wow….Maybe I *should* betray my friends and companions to join you in the quest to destroy all humanity! MAGNETO: Why not? PYRO: You make a good point. The secret laboratory in some Canadian place Professor X is being MENTALLY MANIPULATED into using Cerebro by the CREEPY looking little girl. There is as much TENSION in these scenes as a TOASTED CHEESE SANDWICH, since the entire AUDIENCE knows that the X Men will SAVE THE DAY as usual. and that's all for now...heh heh....funny....ooh, what are those pretty pink spots? hmm... i should definitely go to sleep some more.... love, ~jools ICEMAN’S FATHER: *glares at his wife* This is your fault! I told you not to smoke that crack when you were pregnant with Bobby! EVERYONE ELSE: *Shifts uncomfortably in their seats* 4 horny fangirls | rape Ewan!

fanfiction [24 May 2003|09:19pm] joolsandnigel [ mood | tired ] [ music | er...me laughing? ] alright, i like never read fanfiction, but one of my old friends was talking to me and told me i should read this funny x-men fanfiction that some other friend had told her about....it's actually pretty funny. in it, the school is low on cash so the x-men ppl and students have to get odd jobs and stuff. these are some of the funniest things: “It’s me, Kitty! I don’t know what’s happening,” she gasped dramatically, far from her usual composed self. “Someone keeps on changing my age. One second I’m clearly a fifteen year old, calmly walking out of the wall of Xavier’s study, and then I change into this – a ten year old kid who has a tendency to throw herself through the walls screaming “We’re under attack!” in the middle of a Physics lesson.” She said this all very fast, but Logan nodded. “It must be due to the lack of proper continuity in minor characters between the two movies. Just remember that there is no movie, and you’ll be fine.” (this is very true...watch both movies and you'll see what they mean) .................................... >No, Logan < The Professor’s voice echoed inside his head, sounding tired. >This movie you are blabbering about has nothing to do with your past. Neither does chocolate milk. Or the rain falling. Or even the force of gravity. Just because you cannot explain these things does not mean they are part of the genetic experiments that gave you your adamantium skeleton. ..................................... “Hi!” John waved cheerfully. “I’m smiley, smiley John!” “Hello young man! Why do you want a job?” “Because I need to give something back to my people. I feel selfish, held back. Held back from what I need. It’s a horrible feeling.” He sniffled. “Oh, I know how you feel, dear. Don’t worry, we’ll get you exactly the kind of job you want,” she cooed. John beamed. “So you want to, ah, help the people around you?” “Yes, that’s what I said. I would like to help my community. It’s full of bastards, so I was thinking of something like drug dealing. Kill them all off. Or more extreme stuff to keep my lost soul entertained. You know, like piloting military aircraft. To start off light.” (lmao, i love this) .......................................... It was 3am the following morning when Jubilee got up to get a glass of water from downstairs. She blearily turned on the kitchen tap, wondering why she was still wearing her yellow coat. Something inside her head said ‘Perhaps because you don’t have many other clothes in the comics, and you sure as hell won’t get anymore now.” Rudeness. (lol) ........................................... Jubilee flipped the light switch. She stared at the scene before her. And began to snicker. “Look,” began John impatiently. “This really isn’t what it looks like.” Bobby was in a dress. Not just any dress, he had to be fussy and wear a maternity dress. The bottom of it was draped protectively over a cradle. John stood beside him, carrying an orange in the crook of his arm. “Actually, this is exactly what it looks like,” Bobby whispered. “Oh. Okay, this is exactly what it looks like. Well, then…!” Pause. “Why are you wearing a dress?” Jubilee finally asked Bobby, exploding into a fit of laughter. “This old thing? I like the colour, but it’s mainly because I’m tall enough to not trip over it when I walk. And because I’m the most feminine out of us all.” He smiled shyly. Something stirred from behind the couch. “Yeah right, you only got the dress because you promised me I’d get the underwear.” It was Wolverine. Jubilee stopped laughing. John spun around, pointing an accusing finger at him. “You! Why didn’t you warn us that someone was coming? You could’ve smelt her a mile off!” “Why? We’re simply getting in touch with our feminine sides before starting work tomorrow. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” “Who are you meant to be?” Jubilee blurted out. “I’m the father who divorced the mom, Bobby over there. She can’t take care of the baby herself, so she has to rely on John (her boyfriend, Fernando), who does mostly all the work for her. But they only have a baby, that orange, and a pear’s on the way. However, I have the significant advantage, having had the experience of looking after my six-year old son, Benjy.” Logan proudly indicated the watermelon sitting by his feet. “Come on, let’s get cracking,” Bobby said enthusiastically. “Jubes, I don’t mean to be rude, but do you think you could go back upstairs? It’s just that John gets a teeny bit embarrassed about all this.” He winked at him. “Yeah, go,” John scowled. “And I’m coming with you.” “What?” cried Logan. Bobby was horrified. “I thought… I thought you were my friend,” he said weakly. A small tear streaked down his left cheek. “And who’s going to play the boyfriend? Fernando, the kind-hearted but fatally flawed slave of the hideously irresponsible Sallajita?” growled Logan. “Well, Benjy’s growing up quite nicely. I’m sure he’ll do,” John beamed, patting Logan on the back and waving at the watermelon. He followed Jubilee out of the room, who had not trusted herself to speak. (hahahahahahahahahaha....fernando......hahahahahahahahaha) ............................................. “Alright,” he called out wearily, signalling to two mildly interested young boys. “Let’s try this again. You, stand there. Yes, that’s right. Wonderful. I am so blessed. Right there. No, don’t move. Good. Now, you, throw the ball in the air. Hit it. Use your racket, not your head. Not a bad shot. Hey, why didn’t you move? Move, you little freak! You must move with the ball! You and the ball are one! Oh, God. You, stop moving! Wait, why are you moving there? Who the hell would want to move *there*? And you? He hit the ball back at you, so what do you do? NO! Stop using your frickin head!” “What’s going on?” Clown frowned, dragging her large frame towards Logan. “I am trying,” he panted with as much dignity as possible, “to teach them tennis.” “The boys you have here are three years old.” Clown gave him a stern look (ha, kinda sounds like a mix b/w my dad and my uncle, lol) alright, the fanfiction thingy is called "the poor and pathetically untalented", but it's not finished yet. yup. alright, well, my momma just came home so i'm outta here! good night and have a pleasant tomorrow! ~jools rape Ewan!

lmao [23 May 2003|09:46pm] joolsandnigel [ mood | crazy ] [ music | coldplay ] rock solid ghetto name generator is genius me My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Rock Hard Weed. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. lmao my crazy brother (y'all know who he is) My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Ass Machine Weed. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. hmm...weed seems popular in my family.... joshua's (aka, my best friend.) My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Stim-U-L8 Teapot, Yo. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. er...ok....weird....ooh! let's do your brother! joshua's brother My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Harry Teapot, Yo. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!oh yeah, that's super ghetto....lmao x 1000 ooh, teenie, these are for you! george clooney My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Gangmaster Lobos. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. that's awesome and christopher walken My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Doctor Wack. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! that's a good one... hmm...who else.... let's do snl jimmy fallon My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Slimmy Dawg Teapot, Yo. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. lmao, that's hilarious...heehee, that's what i'm gonna call my next dog will ferrell My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Fellatio Real. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. er...ok.... chris kattan My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Munchi Cwac Cwac. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. cwac cwac?!? tina fey My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Toilet Duq Teapot, Yo. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. er....that's almost as weird as joshua's ok, enough w/ snl...er, let's do teachers dinwiddie My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Munchi D. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. haha smetherman My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Ass Machine Shizzlemah. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. ::falls out of chair:: SHIZZLEMAH?!?!?!?! mayer (ok, both of them) My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Ass Machine Teapot, Yo. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. o.m.g. that's all i've got to say zimmerman My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Ass Machine Z. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. oh wow, that's wrong reuter My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Ass Machine Teapot, Yo. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. didn't somebody get this already? ooh, there's gonna be a fight! (riiiiiiiiiiiiiight....w/e) boudreaux (sp?) My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Doctor B. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. heh, like dr. dre hmm...who else....er, ok, whoever pops into my head conan My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Fallopian Lobos. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. o.m.g. wow. that's the oddest one yet johnny knoxville My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Ass Machine Kool. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. oh, yeah, that's right (lol) david bowie My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Fellatio Ice. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. er....'k george bush My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Gangmaster Lobos. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. omg, i just imagined george bush as a gangster...lol bill clinton My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Fellatio Teapot, Yo. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. didn't someone already get this one, too? ok, that's enough for today. i have some important shiznet i gotta take care of. no. not really. i'm just tired of staring at the computer screen. ooh, i'll do one more b/f i go. how could i forget my "sexay biotch" of the moment (lmao) hugh jackman My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Hobag Wack. What's yours? Powered by Rum and Monkey. wow. that's unique. signing off, i'm rock hard weed (and don't fuggedaboutit) 2 horny fangirls | rape Ewan!

coldplay [23 May 2003|08:22pm] joolsandnigel [ mood | creative ] [ music | durr....coldplay ] coldplay shiver So I look in your direction, But you pay me no attention, do you? I know you don't listen to me, 'Cause you say you see straight through me, Don't you? But on and on, From the moment I wake, To the moment I sleep, I'll be there by your side, Just you try and stop me, I'll be waiting in line, Just to see if you care Oh, did you want me to change? Well I'd change for good, And I want you to know that you'll always get your way And I wanted to say Don't you shiver Don't you shiver I'll sing it loud and clear And I'll always be waiting for you So you know how much I need you, But you never even see me do you? And is this my final chance of getting you? But on and on, From the moment I wake, To the moment I sleep, I'll be there by your side, Just you try and stop me, I'll be waiting in line, Just to see if you care, if you care. Did you want me to change? Well I'd change for good, And I want you to know that you'll always get your way And I wanted to say… Don't you shiver Don't you shiver, I'll sing it loud and clear I'll always be waiting for you. Yeah I'll always be waiting for you Yeah I'll always be waiting for you Yeah I'll always be waiting for you For you, I will always be waiting And it's you I see, But you don't see me And its you, I hear, So loud and so clear I sing it loud and clear And I'll always be waiting for you So I look in your direction, But you pay me no attention, And you know how much I need you But you never even see me everything's not lost When I counted up my demons. Saw there was one for every day. But with the good ones on my shoulders, I drove the other ones away. So if you ever feel neglected, If you think that all is lost, I'll be counting up my demons, yeah, Hoping everything's not lost. When you thought that it was over, You could feel it all around, And everybody's out to get you, Don't you let it drag you down. 'Cause if you ever feel neglected, And if you think that all is lost, I'll be counting up my demons, yeah. Hoping everything's not lost If you ever feel neglected, If you think that all is lost, I'll be counting up my demons, yeah, Hoping everything's not lost. Singing out, Oh oh oh yeah, Oh oh yeah, Oh oh yeah, Everything's not lost. Come on yeah, Oh oh yeah, Come on yeah, Everything's not lost, Oh oh yeah, Oh oh yeah, Oh oh yeah, And everything's not lost, Come on yeah, Oh oh yeah, Come on yeah, Come on yeah, Oh oh yeah, Come on yeah, Everything's not lost Sing out yeah, Oh oh yeah, Come on yeah, Everything's not lost, Come on yeah, Oh oh yeah, Sing out yeah, And everything's not lost. lost highway I'm a rollin' stone all alone and lost For a life of sin I have paid the cost When I past by all the people say Just another guy on the lost highway Just a deck of cards and a jug of wine And a woman's lies makes a life like mine On the day we met, oh I went astray I started rolling down that lost highway I was just a lad, nearly twenty two Neither good nor bad, just a kid like you And now I'm lost, too late to pray Lord I paid a cost, on the lost highway Now boy's don't start to ramblin' round On this road of sin are you sorrow bound Take my advice or you'll curse the day You started rollin' down that lost highway You started rollin' down that lost highway You started rollin' down that lost highway You started rollin' down that lost highway politik "Look at the earth from outer space Everyone must find a place Give me time and give me space Give me real don't give me fake Give me strength, reserve control Give me heart and give me soul Give me time, give us a kiss Tell me your own politik And open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes Give me one cause one is best In confusion confidence Give me peace of mind and trust Don't forget the rest of us Give me strength, reserve control Give me heart and give me soul Wounds that heal and cracks that fix Tell me your own politik And open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes Just open up your eyes But give me love over, love over, love over this" Aaaah, You give me love over, Love Over, Love Over This no more keeping my feet on the ground Sometimes I wake up, and I'm falling asleep, And I think that maybe the curtains are closing on me, But I wake up, Yes I wake up, Smiling. Sometimes I feel that the chance is surprising, Surprisingly good to be moving around, So I wake up, Yes I wake up, Smiling. So what? I feel fine, I'm OK, I've seen the lighter side of life, I'm alright, I feel good, So I do, I'll try to stop moving, Sometimes I wake up, and I'm falling asleep, And I've got to get going So much that I wanted to do, Yes I wake up, Smiling. And this could be my last chance, I'm saving my only chance, And this could be my last chance, No more keeping my feet on the ground. Sometimes I feel that the chance is surprising, Surprisingly good to be moving around, And I move, And I wake up, Smiling. So what? I feel fine, I'm OK, I've seen the lighter side of life, I'm alright, I feel good, So I'll go, well it's time to start moving. And this could be my last chance, Im saving my only chance, And this could be my last chance, So no more keeping my feet on the ground. I'm not gonna keep them, I'm not gonna keep them down you only live twice Oh You only live twice or so they say One life for yourself one for the rest And you, You drift through the years and life seems strange, And one dream appears and love is its name. And love is a stranger who'll beckon you on, Don't think of the danger or the stranger is gone. Oh you, you only live twice or so it seems One life for yourself, one for your dreams And love is a stranger who'll beckon you on, Don't think of the danger or the stranger is gone, gone, gone that's enough for now. i just love coldplay. that chris martin is a genius. which reminds me: i need to get the first cd. hmm...yes.... love, ~jools (so, how many of y'all didn't even read some of the lyrics? oh well, y'all miss out...) rape Ewan!

[23 May 2003|09:52am] sum27 You are Samara! Look at you, you are the link to all the fear. You lived a complicated life, and you loved your mother, Anna, but you didn't know why she went crazy and killed you. What a poor life you had, and in your afterlife, you are ready for revenge! You just wanted to be heard, and you are heard now! What Character from 'The Ring' Are YOU? brought to you by Quizilla Wow. Which glamour goddess are you? By kjfishie you are the hot topic shirt that says: \it's only funny until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious!!! you are funny by saying honest things...people can start laughing and you go, "what are you laughing at, i am dead serious" don't overdue it though.... What hot topic t-shirt are you? brought to you by Quizilla rape Ewan!

[22 May 2003|02:52pm] teenie06 Tori Amos "Silent all these years" Excuse me but can I be you for awhile, My dog won't bite if you sit real still, I got the anti-Christ in the kitchen yellin' at me again Yeah I can hear that Been saved again by the garbage truck I got something to say you know but nothing comes Yes I know what you think of me you never shut up Yeah I can hear that But what if I'm a mermaid, in these jeans of his With her name still on it Hey but I don't care 'cause Sometimes, I said sometimes I hear my voice and it's been here Silent all these years So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts What's so amazing about really deep thoughts Boy you best pray that I bleed real soon How's that thought for you My scream got lost in a paper cup I think there's a heaven where some screams have gone I got 25 bucks and a cracker do you think it's enough To get us there 'cause... What if I'm a mermaid in these jeans of his With her name still on it Hey but I don't care 'cause Sometimes, I said sometimes I hear my voice and it's been here Silent all these - Years go by, will I still be waiting For somebody else to understand Years go by if I'm stripped of my beauty And the orange clouds raining in my hand Years go by, will I choke on my tears 'Til finally there is nothing left One more casualty you know We're too easy easy easy... Well I love the way we communicate Your eyes focus on my funny lip shape Let's hear what you think of me now And baby don't look up, the sky is falling Your mother shows up in a nasty dress It's your turn now to stand where I stand Everybody lookin' at you You take hold of my hand Yeah I can hear them... But what if I'm a mermaid, in these jeans of yours With her name still on it Hey but I don't care 'cause Sometimes, I said sometimes I hear my voice I hear my voice I hear my voice and it's been here Silent all these years I've been here Silent all these years Silent All these Silent all these years A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project, he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide." And for plenty of good reasons, since: 1. It can cause excessive sweating and vomiting 2. It is a major component in acid rain 3. It can cause severe burns in its gaseous state 4. Accidental inhalation can kill you 5. It contributes to erosion 6. It decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes 7. It has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. Forty-three said yes, six were undecided, and only one knew that the chemical was water. The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?" He feels the conclusion is obvious Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. rape Ewan!

[22 May 2003|01:06pm] ashes06 [ mood | amused ] Diffenitly Lord of the Rings, obviously the best story, so deep! And i mean, Look at thoes hobbits...who couldn't like that?!? X-Men, LOTR, or The Matrix?! ****PICS!!**** brought to you by Quizilla congratulations! your soulmate is Aragorn! *~.Which LOTR chatacter is your soulmate?.~* brought to you by Quizilla You're a LotR genius! You are absolutly obssessed with the books and the movie! Good for you! You'll soon be just like me! AHAHAHAHAHA! Anyway, AIM me sometime (AnironElyEl or theringbearer05) and we'll chat LotR! Are You A LotR Maniac? brought to you by Quizilla Congradulations you like Legolas! He is loyal and cute! Battle between Frodo And Legolas in LOTR brought to you by Quizilla YOU KNOW EVERYRHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT LOTR, KINDA LIKE ME!! challenging lotr quiz brought to you by Quizilla Your a LOTR fan. Are you more of a HP fan or a LOTR fan? brought to you by Quizilla Your a HP fan. Are you more of a HP fan or a LOTR fan? brought to you by Quizilla YES I KNOW I DID IT TWICE I COULD NOT DECIDE! No two ways about it, your obsessed! just about as obsessed as anyone could be! Hey, you may just be able to obsess over LOTR! Dont let it go to your head tho...look what happened to me! Do You Deserve To Be In The LOTR Fellowship? brought to you by Quizilla You are very addicted! You, my friend, is a freak! How LoTR addicted are you? (easy) brought to you by Quizilla CONGRATS! Either you are a true LOTR fan or you just got REALLY lucky either way GREAT JOB! just for reference Efalias is a weed, hobbits eat 6 meals a day, Frodo was stabbed at the watchtower of amansir, Sauron made only one ring, Queenya is spoken in Lorien, Stuart Townsend was orignally cast to play Aragorn, and the Anduin is a river but im sure you already knew all that How LOTR smart are you? brought to you by Quizilla You are a total fanatic just like me :) how well do you know lotr quotes? brought to you by Quizilla Killed by Orcs Picked one fight too many, eh? Well, at least you took a few of them down with you, right? ...RIGHT? How would you die in LotR? brought to you by Quizilla You are a warrior, and are likely skilled enough to be alive by the end. You are not a leader, but the people you follow are selected and few. Just try not to make to many risky decisions while in battle and you will be fine. If you were a character in LotR, where would you be by the end of the novel? brought to you by Quizilla You would be a healer: Obviously you like helping people or maybe you just like having magic powers. LOTR 'What would your occupation be in Middle-earth?' brought to you by Quizilla You are Sting! You may be small but dammit you're deadly, not to mention the fact that when the end finally comes you've seen more action than Rosie Cotton. Slayer of spiders and foreseer of evil, you are one cool blade. LOTR (Lord of the Rings) :Which Middle-earth Weapon Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Some of the scenes can be pretty sad but you don't (or don't usually) cry at them. It doesnt look like you're going to cry during Return Of The King but then again I've heard this could be the saddest movie of all three Lord Of The Rings movies. Don't worry though you will probably be able to borrow a tissue from the person sitting beside you. LOTR - Are You Going To Cry At ROTK (Return Of The King)? - Quiz brought to you by Quizilla You're a LotR fanatic! ...Not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you. You know pretty much everything there is to know about the series, have an incredible eye for detail, have most likely read all of Mr. Tolkien's other books, and you just might even have a working knowledge of Elvish. Eré, mellon! LotR - Test your knowledge of Fellowship Of The Ring! brought to you by Quizilla RIVENDELL The last homely house. With trees, hills, rivers and waterfalls surrounding you, you can spend as much time here as you want. The Elves that live in Rivendell are very friendly and will share their knowledge with you if you care to listen. LOTR - Where in Middle-earth would you go on vacation? brought to you by Quizilla You are the wistful Frodo. Though you want to do this quest, you very much regret agreeing to do it. You wish things could just go back to the way they were. LOTR : What Mood of Frodo Are You? brought to you by Quizilla your a hobbit lotr do you have what it takes to be a hobbit brought to you by Quizilla The Return of the King LoTR vs. HP: which book are you? brought to you by Quizilla rape Ewan!

quizzes off of nicole's journal [22 May 2003|10:28am] joolsandnigel [ mood | tired ] [ music | coldplay ] Iceman If you were someone from the X-men movie, who would it be? brought to you by Quizilla Rogue What Female X-Men Character are You? brought to you by Quizilla You're abilities most match the telepathic Jean Grey. You can usually read people well and get into few arguments or disputes. What X-Men Mutant Power Would You Possess? brought to you by Quizilla "Rogue" Which Teenage X-men do you resemble? brought to you by Quizilla Jean Grey -You are pretty well known among everyone.Very popular and a little jealous.You are and honest acheiver,and very vibrant. *please excuse graphix,currently updating* Which X-Men Teen are you most like? brought to you by Quizilla The Matrix! The most original Story, most action packed most best movie for a long time! Deffinitaly better then LOTR and X-who?? X-Men, LOTR, or The Matrix?! ****PICS!!**** brought to you by Quizilla lol, keanu reeves rocks my socks! "i know kung-fu" lmao, best line your soulmate is Frodo! *~.Which LOTR chatacter is your soulmate?.~* brought to you by Quizilla You know absolutly NOTHING about LotR! Why the hell did you take this test? I hope you didn't think you would actually get those right! Are You A LotR Maniac? brought to you by Quizilla Congradulations you like Legolas! He is loyal and cute! Battle between Frodo And Legolas in LOTR brought to you by Quizilla YOU KNOW EVERYRHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT LOTR, KINDA LIKE ME!! challenging lotr quiz brought to you by Quizilla HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHaHahHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i guessed on all of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sheesh, another fangirl. Well, I dont blame you. How can any woman resist a sexy body, and the ruggedness that is Wolverine? Hes a loner by nature, a heavy drinker, and is plagued by memories of his past...or lack thereof. It may take time to work your way into his heart, but when you do, he'll do anything for his woman. Just be careful, he has a tendency to stab people in his sleep. ^_^;; Who Is Your Ideal X-Men 2 Mate? (ladies only) brought to you by Quizilla ha, lol...told y'all he's my "sexy bitch"...lol ok, does nicole only take quizzes of lotr and x-men? apparently...i'm too lazy to look up my own quizzes, so i just get them off of other ppl's journals...alright, the terminix guy is here, so i gotta go...peace out (wow, haven't ever used that b/f) love, me rape Ewan!

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