Blurty for kiry. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.

Tuesday, November 25th, 2003

Time: 7:51 am. Mood: depressed.

my three, yes THREE, friends took a mental health day today. :/. and of course today i need someone. GAH I HATE LIFE. but my report card is amazing. AMAZING. my average is a 94, my core is a 96. um be jealous cause i'm a senior who works my fucking ASS off. because i have no friends. i need to figure out my life. with you. really bad. i need to call you. i love you.

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Time: 9:15 pm. Mood: bitchy.

hot? ;P ;D. i know.

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Time: 7:54 am. Mood: pissed off. Music: my homeroom. joy..

i don't think i've ever been this mad. if you know what was supposed to happen today, you know why. i'm not even mad. i'm devastated. and it really sucks. really really really. cause at this point there's no chance. i don't want to call her and tell her "no". i want to call her and say "i'll be there at four". c'est la vie, i guess :/.

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Time: 8:35 pm. Mood: thoughtful. Music: san dimas ; ataris (acoustic).

today was a long day. tomorrow will be longer, because tuesdays are the longest days of the week. friday's halloween. i need to go write d a note about halloween. need to figure out what to say. transcripts out tomorrow, apps & all out friday. wish me luck with my EIGHT schools. one day down, twenty nine to go. i hope i get as much sympathy every day as i did today. i need it. i love you, hunny bunches. suddenly the world seems such a perfect place suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste it all revolves around you and there's no mountain too high no river too wide sing out this song i'll be there by your side storm clouds may gather and stars may collide but i love you until the end of time i still get the same feeling when i hear this song as i did that very first time. what if i get into assumption, amherst and syracuse? i know the choice i'll pick.. but i don't think it's the best. bethy will be in new york in thirteen days. that's... insane. what will i say to her, what will we do? will it be too awkward to hug? <3. hanson in eight... oh lord! i can't wait!!!! i'm out like WHOA.

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Time: 7:53 am. Mood: moody.

so walking down the hallway after english, i had this huge rush of missing tom. :(. and then i turned around and lisa was there, and it made me even sadder, because i haven't talked to her in so long. i miss that damn family. how odd?! BUT TOMORROW IS THE FBLA DANCE!!!!!! yayyyy a really really fun night. and tomorrow's parent teacher conferences with jilllll (half day) and then work, then TOMMY PICKS ME UP and then the dance. YAYYYYYY. i'm gonna go the bell's gonna ring soon.

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Time: 2:27 pm. Mood: frustrated.

i just called my father to ask him to come pick me up, and get me away from.. her.. and he said "why don't you just wait it out, see it blow over." and i'm now crying, because i don't wanna be stuck in these four walls all day and night. when a child CRIES over just BEING at a house - someone should take notice. i wish tom wasn't at work. or, i wish i WAS at work. either way, i wouldn't be alone. i don't know what i'm going to do for the next, like 1/2 a day. kill me now?

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Subject: &it hurts for me to see you so Time: 2:43 pm. Mood: contemplative. Music: news....

i don't know what anyone wants from me. so i'll just smile, and be everyone's best friend, and not show who i am. i walked into lunch today depressed as hell, because of fighting. and then jill gave me my birthday card, like six years of laughter... and it made my day, and i truly laughed, for the first time in awhile. i love jilly, because she's my only real friend, and we always have a blast together --- aka the mall trip saturday, ah god, dressing rooms are never as fun as when my best friend is next door arguing over what's slutty and what's cute <3. gotta love our fbla outfits. why is our country so dense. "agents discover the 20yr old who put boxcutters on a plane may have put them there weeks before anyone noticed". but other countries should take advice from us, riiiiight?! rawr. i'ma go.. bye all

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Subject: &melancholy dreams Time: 5:59 am. Mood: cranky. Music: crazy beautiful ; hanson (one minute video on repeat).

i love 'crazy beautiful'. and you all should too. things are really really shitty.

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Time: 2:38 pm. Mood: content.

in a few hours, i'll be up in boston, with tommy<3. yayyy. i'm excited with a capital EXCITED. gotta pack, still, and.. pack. mom's putting the fbla candy in the car, so he can sell it for me. i'm not sure if he's gonna come for my bday. i may just make him come down the next weekend, and come to the fbla dance. either way, we're going apple picking whichever saturday he's home. homecoming was pretty awesome last night. danced with the usuals - <33 my dance crew. was chillin with jilly during the bonfire, and ERIK walked up :). YAYYYYYY. i miss the seniors. but i looooove dancing so it was a good time! i'ma go :D.

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Subject: &you laugh and play around Time: 6:44 am. Mood: loved. Music: lits ; rivers cuomo.

i really, really love thomas. who else would sit there and listen to me bitch about *someone* for a long time. when it was over two years ago. no one. who else would understand that it just kicked in and i was in pain. he loves me, and cares about me. and it's a wonderful feeling. two years ago, i wasn't talking to him, but as soon as we started talking about, i fell in love. and now, here i am, after being together for over a year.. i feel just as strong as ever - if not stronger.

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Time: 9:15 pm. Mood: blah. Music: tommy talking <3.

blah. i haven't been myself today. just a figure in a big monopoly game (;D). hanson. wtf. carnegie (sp?) hall. you guys own me. if only i was travelling my ass up to buffalo. that's all. tom's going to call. hearing his voice *picks up the phone* makes me smile :).

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Time: 6:26 pm. Mood: lonely.

( read the survey ) i miss him already. this weekend was incredible though. i love you tjl<3. &, i wanna be where you are. ---- only a few weeks [:D].

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Subject: &making love to you was never second best Time: 6:19 am. Mood: depressed. Music: falls apart ; sugar ray.

i'm just going to stop eating. completely. until i wither away. i'm so tired of being in this blah state. i want to fucking be okay. this happens every few months for like a month, though (it's better than before i got 'help' - then i was constantly like this) - but i've always had tom around for it, and now i don't. so it's rough, and i don't even wanna talk to anyone about it. i can't, there's nothing to explain. at least i don't have my never ending migrane, stomach pains, fever, and runny nose anymore. i just don't feel like moving. "we're sinking more than floating away. throw me a line so i can ache in my pain. the fabric is about to try. maybe you could take a look at yourself lately. things keep coming, and i keep wondering, i start feeling the walls close in. things keep coming, and i keep stumbling, i start feeling strong enough to break". it's not warm enough for shorts, so i'ma wear old school pj pants with tommy's boxers over it [part of my 'wear something of tommy's a day plan']. that way, also, i don't need to change my pants at least for gym. i'll just, uh, take my shorts off ;). little comments are what keep me going.. fbla shit this week - i'm only working for 30pts, just so i can "stay in". not going to the fdm or anything unless i get it offered to me. NO sdm. and probably no rochester. it's funny, how an organization that meant the world to me last year has just been ruined. i miss the fucking seniors. everything they said at the gm reminded me of tom, or flip, or erik. life's so pointless without your three best friends at school with you<3. i'ma go get ready for school.

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Time: 1:08 pm. Mood: bored. Music: tommy's voice, and growing pains.

do you wanna get married, run away? what you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful. buying tom and myself both copies of CAMP NOWHERE. amazing. and i'm asking for the mighty ducks dvd boxed set for my birthday. blahhhh.

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Time: 6:28 am. Mood: blank.

i want something else not listening when you say... gooodbye.

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Subject: &it's so nice to hold you while you're sleeping Time: 6:55 pm. Mood: happy. Music: goodnight starlight ; juliana theory.

so who played my school today, for free? YELLOWCARD. enough said. me becky rocked it and met the guys, and got our posters sweated-on <3. the lazzari's are picking me up in like twenty minutes, and we're going to get tom in danbury. :). tomorrow = cake + CHEAP TRICK (my boys. ELECTRIC - last time was acoustic). i'm out. just wanted to brag ;).

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Time: 4:37 pm. Mood: bored. Music: fox news.

( stolen from my 'sis' melissa on lj )

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Blurty for kiry. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.