| yeh hmmm well | ||||
| 10:28am 05/10/2003 | ||||
i had to take down my rope lights so that my dad can paint that makes me sorta sad i love my lights tired rawr went to colorado mills yesterday it was fun my brother got some shoes and i told bryan that i would meet him some weekend but that sorta scares me because i have nobody to go with me anymore -.- ~sofia. |
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crappy| wow | ||||
| 02:45pm 04/10/2003 | ||||
mmmm i got in a huge fight with cass but we sorta made up but i miss her a lot!!! i know she doesn't think i do but i do and i wish i could make everything right with her but i dun really think i can she gave me a hug the other day and i seriously felt better than i had in a very long time she has the magic touch she was everything to me but she's like the great unattainable so it's kinda heart breaking and it hurts really bad i lover her more than anything but we were just friends i haven't been updating lately i know i update lj more than here if you wanna check it some time devoidvessel hmm besides that my brother's birthday is on tuesday i dunno what im gonna get him maybe i wont get him anything at all o.o >.> he's to hard to please and i he wont care if i dun get him anything anyways there's another book that came out in the sweep series just fyi if any of you have read them i dunno it's like years in the future or soemthing but yeh i haven't read it i really want to have any of you ever read a book by francesca lia block called nymph? meh yeh uh i dunno i'll update again later ciao ~sofia. |
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lazy| :0/ | ||||
| 10:36pm 30/08/2003 | ||||
but cassius is mad at me because we ditched her on thursday at lunch it wasn't even my fault ad she like blamed ita ll on me fuck her man i don't care and she's supposedly all inlove with some guy named ryan now heh that's a laugh lets see how long that lasts and i think maybe her mom was right ok cass thought or thinks rather that she is bi but i think bi curious is more correct as her mom says she doesn't really like chicks she likes guys i mean she gets turned on by the occasional girl i think and does a thing here or there with one but never really feels anything to deep for chicks whatever i din't want it to be that way because that would make what we had nothin u.u i really did care about her i just want to find somebody already it make sme sad that nobody in real life ever seems to be interested in me fer sad ~sofia. |
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drained| o.o | ||||
| 09:46pm 24/08/2003 | ||||
and i dunno it's really weird but anyways i talked to him on the phone today and he's pretty nice and like i can talk about myself all i want and he doesn't mind muahahaha that's the kind of person i like because i -love- talkin about myself lol anyways so like i dunno he like really wants to meet me or something but i dunno because like i have never actually met anyone off the internet and i dunno i'v only known him like two days so we'll see hmm other than that i did nothin today but these people came to see the house they'r interested but they have to get approved before anything is for sure hmmm yeh and my mom packed up half her room in boxes and put it in storage ugh she's gonna bring boxes soon so i can pack up more of my stuff i relaly dun like that i would rather stay living here until we'r moving lol gtg ciao ~sofia |
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peaceful| yay -.- | ||||
| 09:03pm 17/08/2003 | ||||
my brother and parents went to the mills -.- they dint tell me they were going there otherwise i woulda gone and then they went to eat and called only to bring us some back well that was nice i guess cept me dio asco (sp) the pizza i dunno how to say that in english anyways i watched real women have curves and omg it's my new fav movie i mean people watch that and they'r prolly like oh wow how touching and dun really get it and i think i probably dun even really deserve to say i do but like i dunno i just like fell inlove with the movie i member up until the fourth grade i wasn't in any special programs and i went to school in "the ghetto" lol and like you all prolly think i'm being a loser and shit but like my best friends were the same exact story and now they'r all pregnant and are slutty chiks i only see once in a while from there front porch as i drive by in my dad's van they make fun of me they call me a good girl lol and that's supposed to be a bad thing because i'm still in school and i'll prolly go to college and do all the shit they never did and will never do they'll whinde up working at some hotel as maids or catering with my mom's friends they know how it feels not to have money and they think i'm rich ha think of that me rich ::laughs:: i live down the street from them my father is a teacher and my mom is a secretary i go to school with a bunch of kids who will all get cars (mostly all) from their mommy'd and daddy's for their sixteenth birthdays i go to school with kids who will go to universities like stanford and yale harvard berkly columbia and i will go to somewhere like arapahoe community college i will become something like a schol teacher like my dad and hate it i will be like fourty and still not be married and have wasted my life away doing nothin and caring only about what my parents thought while all my "friends" went out and had fun and had lives and just in general were kids i'm the person everybody can depend on to ruin anything fun sometimes i wish i could be just like everybody else and be normal instead of always having to be "different" what do i accomplish being different anyways i think that's why i get along with kenaya so well because she does pretty much everything her parents tell her just like me she know's what it's like to not be able to go out every wekend with "friends" because she can't afford to she know's what it's like not to be notcied she might go on to do something meaningful one day though and that is something i do not know i don't even know why i am in the ib i can get into community college without the ib and that's where i will go one day and become something i hate like a teacher and be miserable for the rest of my life i'm not worried about right now i'm worried about later when i grow up to be my parents i mean don't get me wrong i'm proud of what my parents have accomplished and i know how hard they'v worked to be where we are but i don't want this for the rest of my life i don't want this for my kids and i don't want this for me i hate me i hate being who i am "i'm uncomfortable in my own skin" i hate being a bitch and i hate pushing everybody away i hate pretending like i know shit and that i belong int he ib because i don't i'm stupidand i -don't- belong in the ib and it's a joke for me to be there me being different is a joke and trying to be "myself" i dunno who the fuck i am and who i think i want to be is something i can never be no matter how much brainwashing i try to put myself through i belong in the ghetto getting into trouble and getting married before i'm 18 because i got myself pregnant that's where i belong not in schol wasting my time for somet stupid job i will have one day ~sofia |
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| life sucks huh? | ||||
| 03:38pm 15/08/2003 | ||||
yeh i dunno i'm kinda numb right now i must be the biggest idiot i'v ever met why do i always have to fall for the people who can never like me back cassius has a-another- boyfriend now his name is jake and she's like inlove with him she's even considering braking up with jeremy for him wow that's crazy even though it seems like they'r relationship jeremy and cassius is all about the sex or so it seems i dunno it's so weird and she got a lil upset it seems this mornin or whenever because she read my post on lj about how i have to go get more blades she said i shouldn't do that stuff because then i will get addicted like she did but i never saw her cuts in middle school so i dunno i wont do it but only because school is startin and i dun wanna hide my arms i have to get this shit to heal up soon i have a couple days but they'r not healing to fast because i have to wear arm warmers all the time so that my rents wont see them which reminds me i have to go put them on because my dad will be home soon heh i haven't even done anything all day ans my dad will be home any minute haha i'm tired i want a slurpee i want a slurpee grrah i'v seta goal this year i -will- find more non straight people at george i want to join this club at school the gay straight alliance because erin is in it at her school and she says it is really fun and i dunno i just need help and i need someone to relate to and stuff like i have lots of people online but it's just not the same you know grr i have to get some more shcool supplies today and i want to spend the night at kenaya's tomorow but i dunno if i'll be able to because my dad's an ass and he like won't let us do anything because "school is starting" stupid shit fucker! ugh i dunno i guess i'm just angsty rawr i haven't done anything with anybody like at all i gtg dad's home byee ~sofia~ |
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| damn cassius !!! :0P | ||||
| 02:37pm 10/08/2003 | ||||
and yesterday i was like goin crazy because i'v been wanting a slurpee so bad i decided it's all cass' fault because she's always posting about how she goes out and on the way or in the process always gets a slurpee heh yeh anyways they went to white fence farm yesterday and then i guess there were like a mazillion people at cass' and they were gonna go chill or wahatever and cass im'd me and asked me if i wanted to come and they would come by and get me and i -really- wanted to go but of course with my parents i knew that that was like impossible so i stayed here and did pretty much nothin! haha yeh oh have i told yall about my weird psycho plan that really isn't that crazy?... lol well anyways and this is after way after i get me tongue pierced and shit.. i want to get me nipples pierced :0) and prolly before that... i want to get ,ok so most of yall that actually know me prolly know that i want to get a star tattoo and of course ima get more than one fer sure.., so on this punkorama thing like the paper thing inside the cd i forgot which band had it but this chik had those stick on things on her nipples you know... and so i was sitting there with nat and i'm like dude wouldn't that be so cool if you actually had stars for nipples!???? and she din't say anything but i -will- have stars :0) yeh i wish i could mesh blurty with lj because i mean like i love lj because you can have more than ten friends (though i dun think i do on here) and on blurty they have the rawkinest communities so if i could have both more friends and awesome communities to be a part of then that would be so grande :0P yeh i'm so lookin forward to school! i mean like i hate school and i don't want summer to be over but i will get to see cassius <3 :0D i miss her a lot!!! i hate living so far away from her because i never get to see her and she's my best friend ::shrugs:: u.u fer sad but at least i can talk to her sometimes (when she's not out :0P) i dunno what i'd do wifout her i talked to ian yesterday finally <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 god i wanna meet him so bad! me and kenaya are trying again to see if i can spend the night sometime this week and then we'll invite ian and go to a movie or something... that would be tres chuette if i get permission :nods:: yeh i think that's it oh yeh i finished driving sessions and i even drove on the highway o.o be afraid be very afraid muahahahaha luv yall ~sofia |
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| what the hell! | ||||
| 11:45am 10/08/2003 | ||||
and i only have one entry! where did they go i had at least five! i thought more what the hell! ugh well i suppose i'll post to tell you everything that's happened since the only entry left ::rolls her eyes:: ok so i hooked up with ian yay! he finally asked me out and i'm like the happiest person ever and umm carnage and alex are like falling for each other but alex says she doesn't like sloppy seconds... ie: me and carnage were like doin stuff together before ian umm i met this tres sweet chik on furc the other day i started my driving sessions and yesterday was day two it was so scary they made me go ont he highway o.o yeh i know mortis mallor cass and them are going to white fence farm today i'm so jealous i wanted to go so bad and she invited me and everything but i can't go because of stupid driving ::shrugs:: i'm confused dunno if i'll go into that because im afraid of who might see it... >.< i went to victor's house yesterday and me and isai played video games with him and david then i watched part of final destination 2 with them but had to leave early again because of stupid driving ruining everythin... e.e my mom's like sitting in the doorway pretending not to be nosy -.- evil bitch i hate her! oh and i talked to some peole off of the bisexuality community and they'r pretty cool especially mercurychaos yay luv yall! MUAH! ~SOFIA |
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| Read 3 - Post | ||||
confused| >.> | ||||
| 02:34pm 23/07/2003 | ||||
feels weird anyways it's so weird because erin says i shouldn't like ian but she wouldn't tell me why that concerns me because erin is the kind of person who always supports you and stuff and i dunno it worries me anyways i gotta get a hold of kyle otherwise ian can't go tommorow i'm going campin ina few days and korey if you wanna see my journal on live journal it's at www.livejournal.com and just search for devoidvessel :-P i told you i'd tellyou and i'll show you a pic of ian if i can figure out how to post one on here if you find out you should tell me how and then you can see pic faster yeh... other than that nothin new really talked to carnagehifi again and luckily i din't stay long enough to do it with him again i'm really not in the mood even though he's pretty good if i do say so myself and may i say i'v done enough guys that i would know... yeh umm gtg -sofia |
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| Read 1 - Post | ||||
| wainbowspahkles | ||
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