| . This Time I Win . |
[24 Aug 2003|03:16pm] |
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mood |
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. compulsive . |
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music |
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+evanescence+lies+ |
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Well I have not written is this journal for a long time.. i fucking hate it.. it's a piece of shit. :)
I Saw Evanescence about a few weeks ago.. august 4th i believe. She sang this song that i fell in love with; the song i believe is called "lies". It was awesome.. her sex appeal was amazing! I had soo much lust for her that night. It was Great.
"Lies"
Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear
Sealed with lies through so many tears
Lost from within, pursuing the end
I fight for the chance to be lied to again
You will never be strong enough
You will never be good enough
You were never conceived in love
You will not rise above
[CHORUS:]
They'll never see
I'll never be
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me
But through my tears breaks a blinding light
Birthing a dawn to this endless night
Arms outstretched, awaiting me
An open embrace upon a bleeding tree
Rest in me and I'll comfort you
I have lived and I died for you
Abide in me and I vow to you
I will never forsake you
Yes, That Is It. I LOVE AMY LEE!!!
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| OZZFEST |
[09 Jul 2003|02:31pm] |
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mood |
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Mellowed OUT. |
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music |
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Korn-clown |
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I went to ozzfest this past Saturday.. July the 5th... OMFG it was awesome.. i had a lot of fun not to mention the people that me and Andrea met there were really nice. Andrea got some shit done on her skin, it looked nice then she wet herself to look erotic and it went away... :) anyways I did not get to see CRADLE OF FILTH because Andrea and I were on the 1st stage lawn saving a spot so we didn't end up in the back.. WOW...
Chevelle fucking blew. I still don't understand why they where at ozzfest. Disturbed and Manson were neat. Disturbed always know how to start a fucking show and even though they are a KROQ band i give them props because i like their shit.
Marylin Manson had great props on stage.. like those 2 chicks that were dancing.. wow! anyways... I don't like the new bass player twiggy was the fucking band and now he is gone. OMG manson sang its a small world from the disneyland shit.. haha that was cute.. He did not sing spade though.. that pissed me off.
Well, when KORN came on all hell broke loose and it was great. Fires everywhere a moshpit behind me Andrea screaming and singing, this asshole touching my ass, and Sammy shouting for more pussy lines. I had fun not to mention we raped 3 cell phones. Violated 2 kids minds, and smelled like beer. Korn was the shit.. i want to see them sometime soon again..
Ozzy .. ugh.. after 3 songs i got bored and decided we should leave.. :) but hey if he isn't dead next year i'll sacrafice my skin again... :)
This is all for now.. i have nothing else to say to you. have a great fucking day.
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| I live My life Dreaming... |
[01 Jul 2003|03:43pm] |
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mood |
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Emotional Wreck |
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music |
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manson's+speed of pain+ |
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Today.. is hot and unwanted.. I didn't have to go to work.. which was nice.. i got to stay home and mellow out! woohoo!!! anyways.. well James and i aren't talking anymore. Ron, someone who claimed to like me.. i dunno what happened and i dont care to know what happened.
Ryan Is a sweetheart, i look forward to seeing him soon. He gives me some sort of comfort and he doesn't ask for attention he simply gets it. I don't like dealing with shit.. and he doesn't seem to give me any.. soo [hugs and kisses for ryan].
I'm watching OPRAH.. it's one of those "what's dangerous in your house" well all the stories were sad.. who would have thought that baby oil could kill someone.. how scary.. well rikki lake is almost on and i havent done my chores.. so off i go to the land of cleaning! OMFG ozzfest is this saturday.. i'm excited about that.. it will be fun.. lol well anyways.. byebye for now.. and Ryan. I love You... As the Same for You James.. Love ya much everyone.. good fight goodnight.. well no not really.. just bye bye for today :)
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| . cancer . |
[30 Jun 2003|03:56pm] |
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mood |
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 sympathetic |
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music |
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otep-jamestown tea. |
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| vulnerablegod | | Magic Number | 18 | | Job | Criminal | | Personality | A Worrier, I Worry That I Worry Too Much | | Temperament | Check My Pulse | | Sexual | Straight | | Likely To Win | A Home Help Badge | | Me - In A Word | Effervescent | | Colour | | | Brought to you by MemeJack |
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| To Fucked Up To Care Anymore. |
[30 Jun 2003|12:21pm] |
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mood |
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Broken Bruised Forgotten Sore |
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music |
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NiN-SomeWhat Damaged. |
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I went to the beach yesterday with Jarid And Ryan.. I had Fun.. There was a surfing contest going on and well there was alot of people. It wasn't soo bad considering the fact that I hate tans and I think they are nasty..but whatever rocks my tacos...
When I got home from the beach and diner it was about 9:45pm. The house was still a dump from Anthony's party.. i was mad. My mom i guess had a bad day.. im not surprised .. fuck she works and still comes home to find the house a mess. Well anyways.. i walked into her room to say goodnight and she said.. "WHO THE FUCK DID YOU GO TO THE BEACH WITH?!" I had to lie... I told her I went to the beach with Ryan, Jarid, and Brenda.. Even though it was only Ryan, Jarid, and I. I'm Not sure why she asked she never minds.. when i go out with them... I think she knows I'm a Dyke.
I went Outside and sat on the cement floor.. the water was running and I started crying... My mother makes things look so wrong.. like what will she say when i tell her i like girls... i tripped.. i started crying while washing the sin off my legs and scratching my hands to ease the pain.. wtf.. god hates me in soo many ways.. How the fuck do i tell my mom i love this girl she cant even see in colors.. and whats so wrong with going to hollywood and acting like you are a high school production of sex? ...
It's funny how some things just don't go together.. I was talking to Jarid about being "CONFUSED". Yes, Now I believe I am. What Is It That I want in life? am I really a fucking dyke?
Utterly Confused.
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| thought not spoken... |
[29 Jun 2003|12:02am] |
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Writers . Block .
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| +++i turn to cancer+++ |
[28 Jun 2003|11:44pm] |
Well.. Today was my little brothers birthday party.. that was somewhat interesting.. well work sucks.. i dislike it. Next Week is ozzfest, saturday, to be exact.. thats going to be the shit.. a bunch of lesbians .. :)
Well Lets see.. im new to this whole blurty thing.. i want to thank FELICIA.. for editing it for me.. i love it... Today I've been an emotional wreck it sucks.. is like everything is bugging the shit out of me for no reason.. grr.. soo sad..
Last night james and i were on the phone. INTERESTING. AWw.. Ryan is the sweetest thing alive...
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| Slave To The Muse. |
[25 Jun 2003|04:43pm] |
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theres no fucking event.. i am here to tpe my thoughts down.. well anyways .. actually by the time i do so ive forgotten what i am thinking but anyways.. i think im going to like it here :) well anyways. i have a fucking migrane and god wants to speak to me again cause i broke the dishes. =[ .. mellow out yo.
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