| 02:03am 05/08/2006 | ||||
oh katie came back that gave me lots of mixed feelings but mostly everything does that to me now-a-days but we hung out a couple of times, it was fun but i always feel like i'm trying to impress her by acting like a really complex person. like sheltered with a lot of different layers and dimensions. at the end of the day i'm always confused by how i acted or what i said. maybe it's some defense mechanism because i know she's leaving again soon. i have lots of questions that need answering. not even that, it's just that all my questions could be answered in one conversation. but i dont think thats happening anything else to talk about? |
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| 11:19pm 03/05/2006 | ||||
so i figured this would help. if i just thought of all of katies flaws. but it's not working. except that she has the most common name, so thanks for making it that much harder for me to get over it. dont get involved with impulsive girls from new jersey that want to save the world and study abroad. they go to mexico and south africa. i guess i deserve it though for actually liking a girl for awhile. |
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| 12:44am 30/04/2006 | |||
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so i need a job oscar is starting to act up occasionally, nothing big though Check Minus Records shirts are made. or at least 30 of them are. i'm kind of dreading the summer because booking shows gets to be too stressfull when it's like $500 to rent out the venue. LIGHTNING BOLT was amazing. summer sampler cd's will be ordered once i make my decision on the cover art. the radio show at Wentworth probably wont continue after this tuesday because PELLETS COMING HOME. i guess it's just in time too because katie is off in mexico saving the world. i'm going to miss her, and thats going to suck. can't wait for school to end though. it blows. that's enough |
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| 12:49am 10/04/2006 | |||
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either she listened to me or i only have those kind of dreams when i'm listening to Sigur Ros. i sound like a crazy person. hooray. |
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| 12:11am 08/04/2006 | |||
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another bad dream this one not as bad though because in this dream i told her to stop appearing i seriously doubt that will happen. check minus records net profit; -45 (yes that is a negative sign) negative fourty five dollars i need to do something about that very soon. which means booking more shows in worcester hooooooooraaaayyyyyyyyyy but i have shirts/pins/and most likely a summer sampler coming soon. still uncomfortable |
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| 11:16pm 06/04/2006 | |||
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worst dream ever. another really big internal freak out. followed by the burden of reflecting. realizing i'm a very uncomfortable person seriously, worst dream ever. |
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| 12:00am 27/03/2006 | |||
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maybe i know why maybe you can make it stop. i work way too hard for someone who doesn't have a job. changed the little link up there to the right from my page to the Check Minus page because he's taking over my life anyways. better make it seem that way to the 1 or 2 people that might see the link here. i CAN NOT wait for: sigur ros lightning bolt snakes on a plane if only there was a way that all 3 of them could consolidate into one event. i need a tattoo. |
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| 01:47am 22/02/2006 | ||||
not one bit. not even a little. i dont think i've ever internally freaked out that much before. thanks andrew, and thanks whitman town park. drink.write.sleep. i work too much for not having a job. |
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uncomfortable| 03:14am 09/02/2006 | |||
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so i'm a pretty big loser... the burden of reflection; i got to a community college i am currently un-employed all my friends have full time jobs and go to the gym i sit at home watching american idol and eating fudge i haven't shaved in almost 2 months my hair is way too long even tho i cut like 3 inches off of it the same day i shaved i haven't had a decent meal in over a week i'm hardly ever home ok here's the good stuff. went to the Feels Like July practice today and then hung out with danny brist and maty del with ali and steph. felt really old. got the Orchid cd with all of their recordings on it. it's amazing and matches nicely to my Saetia cd with all of their recordings. Totality and A Retrospective. looked at books. going to canada again soon. next weekend, for Blu's birthday party. excited for that, canada is always a good time. i got a check from massasoit for $666 dollars. which is excellent because i didn't get any financial aid. don't know what i'm gonna do for the summer. hopefully work where goodick works. then in the fall go to some college. i've been booking a lot of shows and i'm starting to get recognized by bands great and small. The Early November and TREOS remembered me from doing the interviews but thats a different story. i've been booking shows for bands in PA, CT, RI and all that junk. so it's not just like my friends bands anymore, i get bands from Boston and all over the eastern coast. kinda stressful and more work than you think but it's fun and helpful, i got some money for booking a show in Worcester. rad. media club just started back up so that means i'll be seeing a lot of Kevin Tocci and Nick again. which means i'll be doing more interviews. hopefully i'll get some help setting them up. i dont need anything added to my "to do list". hell, i still have a paper due from last semester. i spend more time thinking of why my english teacher gave me an Incomplete when i got A's on all my papers than time i spend even thinking about starting the paper. lame. reid started a new shift at his work so he's working afternoons and i never see him. which kinda sucks a lot because reid is amazing. the time's we have had just listening to the Flaming Lips in his room. he'll never be at another Timber Venus night again. but i still have andrew and the flj guys, and timmy,and goodick and mike and pellet and danny. and the people that randomly call me at 2 in the morning to tell me they can't sleep. dont hear much from Greico or Bucca anymore, i hang out with Blu like once a week. i sleep through my speech class because the teacher needs to take the class more than anyone else. the first quiz in small business management was on monday and i got a 0 on it because i dont have the book yet and i never find anything important enough to take down in notes. i just gaze out the window and doodle. mass communications is the only class i pay attention to because we have conversations with the teacher about what shows we watched over the week and whats the latest topics in news. plus i know half the class from radio class and media club. i dont know if i'll do my radio show again this semester. what else can i put down here because nobody is reading it. i dont know, dont feel like typing anymore. and my story isn't coming along because i was relying on blizzards to keep me inside with nothing to do but drink and write, but we didn't get anything this year. shitty timing on that one. think thats it for now. i should go to sleep soon. i have speech at 9...or 930...i dont even know. then i'm either going to the Treos show at northeastern university or sticking with the routine thursday plans of bowling and pizza with a group of 15 kids that for the most part i really dont hang out with anymore . either way i'm gonna have a good time. yeah definitely tired. valentine. |
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| 01:05pm 14/01/2006 | |||
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i forgot the password for this thing. anyways. i've been going to sleep at like 3 am every day and just sleeping in. this break has really made me not want to go back to classes. especially after seeing my grades and gettin straight C's sure, it's much better then high school but i was expecting much better than that. i did work. i don't even remember getting a C on any quiz or test. fucking lame. i think i'm living with pellet at wentworth for a week just because he starts a week before me and suggested me stay at his dorm. i'm for that. i've been having a lot of conversations with myself and just typing on my typewriter. it sucks, i was relying on tons and tons of snow to finish my story. and we've only gotten one really bad snow fall. i need a blizzard or 4. i made a list of CD's and records i want. then searched them on amazon, newbury comics, borders, fye, and ebay. i'm pretty mad at myself for liking music thats so hard to find. well i did find Hot Cross, Hot Water Music, The Album Leaf, Pink and Brown, Black Dice, and Jerome's Dream. but thats pretty much it for things available in stores. i found a lot of other LP's and EP's, Split 7" and what not on e-bay from all the other bands. need to get on that. what else have i been up to? i've been booking a lot of shows and setting a lot of things up. which i guess is pretty groovy. just kind of gets hectic doing it all by myself, but the guys from feels like july and beckwith help me out a ton. tonight i'm seeing all the guys from shop again. we had a "poker night" last week and i went in a full out suit, down to the shoes, and brought my new tobacco pipe that goodick got for me. oh yeah christmas: typewriter from Briana a shit load of cd's drom Reid an awesome pipe and the best tobacco around from Goodick lots of clothes and Scrabble from my Mom a book from Tim, but apparently my real present i won't get until like february or something. him and goodick are saving up for it. which scares me. because they both make like 400 or 600 dollars a week. and if they need to SAVE UP for my present..........yeah i'm scared. what else did i get, a lot of money from the family. which i spent on music and clothes. oh yeah i got a cd wallet from Carl. i know that there's more but i'm forgetting. needless to say Christmas was awesome. that whole week andrews parents were gone and i practically lived at his house. that was awesome. i was gonna keep typing and say what i've been feeling and doing lately but then i realized NOBODY reads this, so whats the point. i'd delete everything i just wrote but it's cool to go back and see what i was up to. blah. |
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| 12:44am 11/12/2005 | |||
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i wish somebody warned me about bein depressed when you're older i mean, when you're depressed as a young kid, it's nothing, though it seems like a lot but now, holy shit.................................... i can't even begin to explain all the shit that's going through my head. i'm afraid to fall asleep and yet i don't think i have ever needed it more. i think i broke my ring finger, haven't been able to move it at all for about an hour now. anyways, back to the ol' young and depressed dennis, but this time it's much much worse. nobody to talk to about it. so i apologize for this post. i hate school i hate all my friends except for 3 of them. i pretty much hate everything that surrounds me at any given time i'm not proud of anything that i've accomplished i don't feel the need to accomplish anything else to get to where i want to go now if i could only figure out where that is terrible. |
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| 09:55pm 06/12/2005 | |||
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well now that didn't last very long now did it. i need a drastic change and fast ........................................ i'm probably not going to talk to anyone i've been hanging out with lately except for a select few. a very VERY select couple. i'm just getting aggravated by all the same faces and names well i got nothing to say, i'm just stalling time for the daily show and the colbert report. oh and i need to write a thesis statement. 5 days to write one sentence, and i'll probably still wait until tomorrow morning and write it in class. i hate school, it just feels like a waste of money and time. till next time eh. dennis |
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| 01:03pm 27/11/2005 | |||
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so i've been feeling a lot like me lately. like i've reconnected with who i am. but at the same time i'm totally different eh, it's confusing, i wont get into it. i've been writing a lot lately. probably because i read The Contortionist's Handbook again. so inspirational. that and watching The Jacket. there just gave you the next book you should read and the next movie you should see. i love reid, so much. a lot of people tell me "we're two peas in a pod" or whatever. but i don't agree with them. if anything i'm in string peas, and thats with Timmy, Danny Brist, Reid, Ryan, and I. string peas have 5 in them right? i don't know, but thats it right there. Maty Del would be in there but we don't have much in common, other than our hatred for a lot of things. anyways, Reid, i am in love with his house and how it's a 2 min drive from Tim's new house. oh yeah, Tim moved out of his house, kinda sad him not being so close to me like he has been for the past 13 years but it's still very cool and exciting. he lives in hanson now with his 2 co-workers. it's an awesome house, awesome guys, awesome times. but Reids house is amazing, we spent hours just sitting around listening to some vinyl records and stuff. i got back into skateboarding finally. i haven't stepped on a board for a whole year. i'm re-learning everything. terrible. tim just called, he's at his "old house". we made plans for wednesday night. great! Christmas List; Tim Reid Goodick Greico Johno Jimmy Mommy Toni Blu Bucca Danny Brist Maty Del Ryan i think thats it. i have another list of people i MIGHT get presents for. Sandra is getting me a present, yeah shure it's a book, but still, how unexpected and i dunno, appreciative. but yeah i work at Borders Express in Hanover now. the own Day By Day Calendars too, so they have me working at the Kingston Mall a lot. i would absolutely hate it if it wasn't just a seasonal thing, so at the end of January i believe, it closes and i'll be back in Hanover, or out of a job. i should probably ask about that today. speaking of which i should leave soon. like now. working 2-630 then monday, tuesday, and thursday i'm working in kingston 6-930. i think. i should make shure about that as well well i didn't get to mention a lot of other things so i guess i'll post another one of these blasted things tomorrow. -Dennis "has to turn off Mates of State now, sad face" Minus |
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| 03:56pm 10/10/2005 | |||
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lies, all lies. i'm gonna stop writing in this for awhile. ryan calls me fatty, and tells me to eat shit. it's great. danny is wicked hott so is mr.blackheart i love massasoit it's pretty rad. -Dennis "i want a thousand feet of snow this winter" Minus |
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| 01:21am 07/08/2005 | |||
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i just had to save this and this was the first place i thought of, xanga is dead in my eyes, myspace blogs are for more important things, still haven't gotten used to my blogger.com account. well she read the introduction to my story and it picks up from there. She says: its actually quite good She says: i was confused at first She says: the kind of thing that you reread the begining once you figure out whats goig on Lostcause333: yeah it's only the introduction so it's basically just setting up the pins to be knocked down later on She says: its not what i expected at all Lostcause333: when i finish it, it will all make sense.....hopefully She says: where did all the coffee hostilitity come from? Lostcause333: i don't know, i hate Starbucks She says: i can tell Lostcause333: and every cubical worker lives off coffee She says: so do i? Lostcause333: yeah i used to Lostcause333: now it's more of an alcohol thing Lostcause333: but thanks for reading it and telling me what you think She says: if im anything im a reader Lostcause333: reading is a good time She says: im trucking my way through on the road right now She says: im having a problem getting into it Lostcause333: yeah, i have a fairly long grocery list of books i'll be gettin from the library one after another She gets to the point: cani tell you something Lostcause333: go for it She tells the truth: you bother me cause i cant figure you out She opens up: im the type of person who like....gets my head around people and am satisified..and every time i think iove got you down..you do something to change my mind Lostcause333: haha that's the most flattering thing anyone has ever said to me, may i ask why/how so? She doesn't know: i dont know exactly She's very confused: its just...like...i can read people and predict them...its almost like shoving them into a catagoy... without sounding shallow..... She doesn't know what to say: and like i think i get you... and then you do something or say something and im like....i never woulda thought he woul... She's getting a grip again: and it makes me crazy She tells the truth again: your a puzzle Lostcause333: thank you very much, i haven't felt this good about myself in a verry verry long time She challenges me?: i will figure you out She's a dead woman: let this be known Lostcause333: well good luck with that and tell me how it goes Lostcause333: i have to go to bed now She knows me: its early? Lostcause333: i know but i got about 3 hours of sleep last night She says her first goodbye: aw well sweet dreams love She says a second: ill talk to you later Lostcause333: yes indeed Lostcause333: unless one of us dies tonight, which is always a possibility She thinks she knows: oh..an optimist Lostcause333: more of a realist She makes an observation: sarcasm Lostcause333: i like to call it charm She yet again tells the truth: well i think your charming She has a plan: i plan of living though the night though Lostcause333: ok well if all goes to plan, i will talk to you tomorrow She ends it at three: goodnight Lostcause333: g'night |
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| 01:21am 07/08/2005 | |||
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i just had to save this and this was the first place i thought of, xanga is dead in my eyes, myspace blogs are for more important things, still haven't gotten used to my blogger.com account. well she read the introduction to my story and it picks up from there. She says: its actually quite good She says: i was confused at first She says: the kind of thing that you reread the begining once you figure out whats goig on Lostcause333: yeah it's only the introduction so it's basically just setting up the pins to be knocked down later on She says: its not what i expected at all Lostcause333: when i finish it, it will all make sense.....hopefully She says: where did all the coffee hostilitity come from? Lostcause333: i don't know, i hate Starbucks She says: i can tell Lostcause333: and every cubical worker lives off coffee She says: so do i? Lostcause333: yeah i used to Lostcause333: now it's more of an alcohol thing Lostcause333: but thanks for reading it and telling me what you think She says: if im anything im a reader Lostcause333: reading is a good time She says: im trucking my way through on the road right now She says: im having a problem getting into it Lostcause333: yeah, i have a fairly long grocery list of books i'll be gettin from the library one after another She gets to the point: cani tell you something Lostcause333: go for it She tells the truth: you bother me cause i cant figure you out She opens up: im the type of person who like....gets my head around people and am satisified..and every time i think iove got you down..you do something to change my mind Lostcause333: haha that's the most flattering thing anyone has ever said to me, may i ask why/how so? She doesn't know: i dont know exactly She's very confused: its just...like...i can read people and predict them...its almost like shoving them into a catagoy... without sounding shallow..... She doesn't know what to say: and like i think i get you... and then you do something or say something and im like....i never woulda thought he woul... She's getting a grip again: and it makes me crazy She tells the truth again: your a puzzle Lostcause333: thank you very much, i haven't felt this good about myself in a verry verry long time She challenges me?: i will figure you out She's a dead woman: let this be known Lostcause333: well good luck with that and tell me how it goes Lostcause333: i have to go to bed now She knows me: its early? Lostcause333: i know but i got about 3 hours of sleep last night She says her first goodbye: aw well sweet dreams love She says a second: ill talk to you later Lostcause333: yes indeed Lostcause333: unless one of us dies tonight, which is always a possibility She thinks she knows: oh..an optimist Lostcause333: more of a realist She makes an observation: sarcasm Lostcause333: i like to call it charm She yet again tells the truth: well i think your charming She has a plan: i plan of living though the night though Lostcause333: ok well if all goes to plan, i will talk to you tomorrow She ends it at three: goodnight Lostcause333: g'night |
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| 12:31am 14/07/2005 | ||||
we got back into the south shore around 6 or 7 i think on monday night. we were very tired and i dont know about everybody else in the car but i didn't want to go back home we had such an amazing 4 days doing things we really couldn't do in our home states, well...for the most part the hotel was so much more than i expected, when Blu said "the cheapest one we could get" the automatic picture of that, ya know on the initial reaction, is a very shady, crappy hotel. this hotel was really nice tho, i think they best located one ever too, right in the middle of Crescent St., which we had no idea was throwing this insanely big party the weekend we were staying. there we bands of drums that marched up and down our street followed by dancers in costumes. everywhere we looked we saw Bavaria, some Corona wannabee beer that was sponsoring the whole ordeal i guess. but after a long drive there and some drama getting into the hotel we were all happy to call this place home for awhile. Tomcore and Peizzy actually couldn't even get pass the border because of Tom's awesome charge for getting caught for being a huge drug dealer. so they had to turn around and do the whole 5-6 hour drive again. as for Blu, Ellen, Erica, and I, we were all settled in and getting ready to go out for our first night. so we scoped out our area and it was full of clubs, pubs, bars, and restaurants for us to choose from. after we exchanged all our money we tried out 1 or 2 restaurants but after paying like $8 for a jack and coke and then like $3 for a Coors Light, we started walking again and came across a Peel Pub, it looked descent so we went in. this is thursday night and their specials for that night were $1 Shooters, so we got right on that wagon. about 5 shots in each and 2 pitchers of beer we got out of there, oh we asked the waitor where a "packy" was and after the strangest look ever we asked again for a "liquor store" and he said to go across the street to the SAQ place. so we stopped in there and bought more booze. went back to the hotel and chilled out for awhile. our hotel room had a balcony over-looking front and center the party that was overtaking our street. perfect for smoking cuban cigars on and drinking whiskey. i dont think we went out that night really. but thats how pretty much everyday went, hotel room, Peel Pub, clubs, walking around. we went to so many bars and pubs and restaurants, in the whole 4 days i think i only had 2 meals in the actual room. oh man the television shows are wicked goofy there, they have american shows in french, and like a mtv wannabe station that plays awesome french rapers (melee melee). but the only american shows in english we really got and knew was like Ashlee Simpson and the Newly Weds, some simpson episodes were in english on a different station, so Blu and I learned a little french just so we could know the weather and communicate with waitresses and bartenders. how much captain morgans do you get? (points at menu then at the cup) yeah whatever give me two (points at menu and holds up two fingers) we had so much fun though, highlights deffinitaly being the "Yankees Suck" chant in the Peel Pub on Saint Catherines St. in downtown Montreal, Canada. and the whole legally buying alcohol and cuban cigars was amazing being able to walk into almost any place and buy alcohol. they had a lot of italian restaurants and vegetarian restaurants which was very much appreciated. thanks Canada and i can't wait to go back next year. these past couple days have just be readjusting to american laws and culture. only t.v. i've seen was the all star game and stella so far. tonight was intense though, A Loss For Words, Ambry, Emanuel, CIRCA SURVIVE show at the ICC Church in Allston. yes please. it was the perfect ending to a day that started off with driving to scituate (yuck). being re-united with Erik Zaiatz was the best thing ever, show was grand even though Danny Brist didn't bring me an FLJ shirt he still remembered the coldplay cd he burned for me. oh and if you dont have either the A Loss For Words CD "These Past 5 Years" or Circa Survive "Juturna" you probably don't have a soul. but yeah two of the most amazing cd's i've heard since the TREOS release of their cd "between the heart and the synapse". so tomorrow is a good ol' Monop-a-thon except it's gonna be with candy land, scrabble, monopoly, and pretty much any other board game we can get our hands on, with a little .Beckwith. practice thrown in there as well which i'm psyced about because i haven't been to one in awhile and Erik is pretty excited about their new songs and can't wait to show me. so yeah i've had one of the best weeks ever. canada is amazing america isn't as good being from the south shore or just Massachusetss in general is the best thing in the world. i need to go to more shows because i saw a ton of kids today that i haven't in forever. i'm not good at making pancakes i'm incapable of falling asleep before 3 am. i need to wake up at 9am tomorrow and drive my little sister toni somewhere. i hate driving to scituate i like making out with girls in scituate california is the worst place in the the world i love the guys from Feels Like July i lost my Last Ride shirt and they're extinct so i better find it. ok i think i'm done. |
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thirsty| 11:33am 09/06/2005 | |||
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Yeah so i've been a mess lately, like a terrible terrible mess. i go to sleep either at like 8 or 12. then i wake up either at 4:30, 6, or 11:30, i don't leave the house much anymore, ever since tuesday. i know that was only, what, 2 days ago but it seems like it's been a lot longer than that. but yeah so i just mope around all day watching movies on the hbo channels or whatever. of course my older brother John is still picking up his $600 dollar a week unemployment check. i wish i was getting paid for doing nothing. he doesn't like it though, greico's dad is gonna try to get him a job considering the manning name is pretty important in the union. so i've been listening to Mae alot.......a lot. in fact the only times Mae isn't playing in my house is when i'm in my car and then i'm listening to alkaline trio or something. but yeah so it feels like my throat is closing up on me and it kills whenever i try to swallow. my own saliva, water, anything, it hurts....a lot....a real lot. i went to the doctors on monday to get it looked at and then were not interested in that, they payed more attention to the lump(s) on my neck. they dont hurt me everytime i swallow, i dont care if it's cancer or anything, give me something for my throat. nothing. and they only cure for the headaches was alcohol, but i'm in no condition or mood to drink anymore so the headaches stay also. so i'm now this swelling throat, pounding headache, dont want to move, lump of a human being. but anyway the whole reason i started this post is because i'm typing out this resume for a scholarship and i couldn't think of anything to sum up my high school education. figures. oh and today goodick is gonna bring me to the place of his new job to talk to his manager about me getting a job and i'm actually debating whether or not to tell they guy, yeah i'm interested and all and i really need the job and money but i think i'm dying so this physical labor and heat might just kill me a lot faster. i forget when the last time i posted was, i think it was before graduation. graduation was a good time, i sat next to dan dempsey, a kid i never was friends with outside of school but in school we would have a blast, graduation was no exception, we just laughed the whole time and i got a $300 dollar scholarship from something, i don't even know. how did i get a scholarship, i shouldn't have passed english for the year and i just barely made it in math. thank god Mr.Savage let me pass and guidance over-looked my grades, because theres really no way you can pass with a F for the first term, a D for the second term, and oh another F for the third term. and if it wasn't for that last math test i would have had to stay, because that just let me pass for the year. and if it wasn't for adum and mrs.thibodeau's naevity i probably wouldn't have passed that test. my mom just called my cell phone from some phone in the school, she asked how i was doing and i told her that the back of my throat stabs itself everytime i talk or swallow. she wants to get schedule another doctors appointment for either today or tomorrow. that was the first time in two weeks she hasn't asked me about the damn scholarship paper, that i still haven't written anything more in since i started this post. i went to whitman-hanson's graduation too, basically just to yell out goodicks name but i suppose it was to also see a lot of my friends for what could be the last time ever. and honestly our graduation was better, we didn't have a band play a song from pirates of the carribean, or a shitty choir sing a melody that mixed journey with blink 182. our speeches were a lot shorter and better, and we had ours outside and not in some school that paid and insane amount of money on unneccessary stuff thats just so happens to cost my mom her job........assholes. lets see what else can i babble on about, yesterday i went to camp kawani, i brought blu because i knew it wasn't gonna be that much fun, but it's a good thing i went to whitman-hansons graduation because now those people call me again, so ricky stock was there with his girlfriend april o'neil, jeff was there, alex jackson was there, nick connely was there...drunk of course, dave sopa, firby, tricia, mark duggie and his dog montgomery. i didn't feel like swimming so i sat on the lifeguard chair for a long while, until i saw a spider, then i climbed/jumped down and sat on the dock thing with my legs in the water, blu was swimming i was glad he was having a good time, so i was sitting there until i got too wet from splashes and as soon as i got out and my shoes back on and all that everyone else was coincidentally leaving so i went back to blu's had a slice of pizza and left to go home, i was only there for about an hour or so, perfect timing to start driving towards lightning, which i like to do. but yeah i think i've rambled quite enough, actually way too much, so bye. -dennis (i'm dying tomorrow) |
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| 07:35am 09/06/2005 | |||
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Yeah so i've been a mess lately, like a terrible terrible mess. i go to sleep either at like 8 or 12. then i wake up either at 4:30, 6, or 11:30, i don't leave the house much anymore, ever since tuesday. i know that was only, what, 2 days ago but it seems like it's been a lot longer than that. but yeah so i just mope around all day watching movies on the hbo channels or whatever. of course my older brother John is still picking up his $600 dollar a week unemployment check. i wish i was getting paid for doing nothing. he doesn't like it though, greico's dad is gonna try to get him a job considering the manning name is pretty important in the union. so i've been listening to Mae alot.......a lot. in fact the only times Mae isn't playing in my house is when i'm in my car and then i'm listening to alkaline trio or something. but yeah so it feels like my throat is closing up on me and it kills whenever i try to swallow. my own saliva, water, anything, it hurts....a lot....a real lot. i went to the doctors on monday to get it looked at and then were not interested in that, they payed more attention to the lump(s) on my neck. they dont hurt me everytime i swallow, i dont care if it's cancer or anything, give me something for my throat. nothing. and they only cure for the headaches was alcohol, but i'm in no condition or mood to drink anymore so the headaches stay also. so i'm now this swelling throat, pounding headache, dont want to move, lump of a human being. but anyway the whole reason i started this post is because i'm typing out this resume for a scholarship and i couldn't think of anything to sum up my high school education. figures. oh and today goodick is gonna bring me to the place of his new job to talk to his manager about me getting a job and i'm actually debating whether or not to tell they guy, yeah i'm interested and all and i really need the job and money but i think i'm dying so this physical labor and heat might just kill me a lot faster. i forget when the last time i posted was, i think it was before graduation. graduation was a good time, i sat next to dan dempsey, a kid i never was friends with outside of school but in school we would have a blast, graduation was no exception, we just laughed the whole time and i got a $300 dollar scholarship from something, i don't even know. how did i get a scholarship, i shouldn't have passed english for the year and i just barely made it in math. thank god Mr.Savage let me pass and guidance over-looked my grades, because theres really no way you can pass with a F for the first term, a D for the second term, and oh another F for the third term. and if it wasn't for that last math test i would have had to stay, because that just let me pass for the year. and if it wasn't for adum and mrs.thibodeau's naevity i probably wouldn't have passed that test. my mom just called my cell phone from some phone in the school, she asked how i was doing and i told her that the back of my throat stabs itself everytime i talk or swallow. she wants to get schedule another doctors appointment for either today or tomorrow. that was the first time in two weeks she hasn't asked me about the damn scholarship paper, that i still haven't written anything more in since i started this post. i went to whitman-hanson's graduation too, basically just to yell out goodicks name but i suppose it was to also see a lot of my friends for what could be the last time ever. and honestly our graduation was better, we didn't have a band play a song from pirates of the carribean, or a shitty choir sing a melody that mixed journey with blink 182. our speeches were a lot shorter and better, and we had ours outside and not in some school that paid and insane amount of money on unneccessary stuff thats just so happens to cost my mom her job........assholes. lets see what else can i babble on about, yesterday i went to camp kawani, i brought blu because i knew it wasn't gonna be that much fun, but it's a good thing i went to whitman-hansons graduation because now those people call me again, so ricky stock was there with his girlfriend april o'neil, jeff was there, alex jackson was there, nick connely was there...drunk of course, dave sopa, firby, tricia, mark duggie and his dog montgomery. i didn't feel like swimming so i sat on the lifeguard chair for a long while, until i saw a spider, then i climbed/jumped down and sat on the dock thing with my legs in the water, blu was swimming i was glad he was having a good time, so i was sitting there until i got too wet from splashes and as soon as i got out and my shoes back on and all that everyone else was coincidentally leaving so i went back to blu's had a slice of pizza and left to go home, i was only there for about an hour or so, perfect timing to start driving towards lightning, which i like to do. but yeah i think i've rambled quite enough, actually way too much, so bye. -dennis (i'm dying tomorrow) |
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| 07:35am 09/06/2005 | |||
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Yeah so i've been a mess lately, like a terrible terrible mess. i go to sleep either at like 8 or 12. then i wake up either at 4:30, 6, or 11:30, i don't leave the house much anymore, ever since tuesday. i know that was only, what, 2 days ago but it seems like it's been a lot longer than that. but yeah so i just mope around all day watching movies on the hbo channels or whatever. of course my older brother John is still picking up his $600 dollar a week unemployment check. i wish i was getting paid for doing nothing. he doesn't like it though, greico's dad is gonna try to get him a job considering the manning name is pretty important in the union. so i've been listening to Mae alot.......a lot. in fact the only times Mae isn't playing in my house is when i'm in my car and then i'm listening to alkaline trio or something. but yeah so it feels like my throat is closing up on me and it kills whenever i try to swallow. my own saliva, water, anything, it hurts....a lot....a real lot. i went to the doctors on monday to get it looked at and then were not interested in that, they payed more attention to the lump(s) on my neck. they dont hurt me everytime i swallow, i dont care if it's cancer or anything, give me something for my throat. nothing. and they only cure for the headaches was alcohol, but i'm in no condition or mood to drink anymore so the headaches stay also. so i'm now this swelling throat, pounding headache, dont want to move, lump of a human being. but anyway the whole reason i started this post is because i'm typing out this resume for a scholarship and i couldn't think of anything to sum up my high school education. figures. oh and today goodick is gonna bring me to the place of his new job to talk to his manager about me getting a job and i'm actually debating whether or not to tell they guy, yeah i'm interested and all and i really need the job and money but i think i'm dying so this physical labor and heat might just kill me a lot faster. i forget when the last time i posted was, i think it was before graduation. graduation was a good time, i sat next to dan dempsey, a kid i never was friends with outside of school but in school we would have a blast, graduation was no exception, we just laughed the whole time and i got a $300 dollar scholarship from something, i don't even know. how did i get a scholarship, i shouldn't have passed english for the year and i just barely made it in math. thank god Mr.Savage let me pass and guidance over-looked my grades, because theres really no way you can pass with a F for the first term, a D for the second term, and oh another F for the third term. and if it wasn't for that last math test i would have had to stay, because that just let me pass for the year. and if it wasn't for adum and mrs.thibodeau's naevity i probably wouldn't have passed that test. my mom just called my cell phone from some phone in the school, she asked how i was doing and i told her that the back of my throat stabs itself everytime i talk or swallow. she wants to get schedule another doctors appointment for either today or tomorrow. that was the first time in two weeks she hasn't asked me about the damn scholarship paper, that i still haven't written anything more in since i started this post. i went to whitman-hanson's graduation too, basically just to yell out goodicks name but i suppose it was to also see a lot of my friends for what could be the last time ever. and honestly our graduation was better, we didn't have a band play a song from pirates of the carribean, or a shitty choir sing a melody that mixed journey with blink 182. our speeches were a lot shorter and better, and we had ours outside and not in some school that paid and insane amount of money on unneccessary stuff thats just so happens to cost my mom her job........assholes. lets see what else can i babble on about, yesterday i went to camp kawani, i brought blu because i knew it wasn't gonna be that much fun, but it's a good thing i went to whitman-hansons graduation because now those people call me again, so ricky stock was there with his girlfriend april o'neil, jeff was there, alex jackson was there, nick connely was there...drunk of course, dave sopa, firby, tricia, mark duggie and his dog montgomery. i didn't feel like swimming so i sat on the lifeguard chair for a long while, until i saw a spider, then i climbed/jumped down and sat on the dock thing with my legs in the water, blu was swimming i was glad he was having a good time, so i was sitting there until i got too wet from splashes and as soon as i got out and my shoes back on and all that everyone else was coincidentally leaving so i went back to blu's had a slice of pizza and left to go home, i was only there for about an hour or so, perfect timing to start driving towards lightning, which i like to do. but yeah i think i've rambled quite enough, actually way too much, so bye. -dennis (i'm dying tomorrow) |
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