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Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
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12:03 pm - Embarassed?
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deleted for more grown up purposes.
current mood: confused current music: The Doors _L.A. woman
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| Sunday, September 26th, 2004
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6:49 pm - We're in love!!!
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Joe finally told me he's in love with me!!! It wasn't all flowers and candy and romantic music when he said it, but nothing is ever like that. It was me and him in his truck parked in dunkin donuts parking lot, on our way down the shore to see his parents. I was severely pissed off at him and crying. See... he's an ass.... he won his game on friday and went out for drinks. He told me i might have to drive him home (and i know how he gets after games so i knew i'd have to drive him home). So since me and jenne were out anyway we decided to go up to dumont and sit at daly's until he called me. We were at daly's for about 45 minutes when he calls... from his house, shit faced!!!!! So i start yelling at him, he shouldn't have drove, he should've called me before he left, etc, etc. This isn't the first time he's done something like this.... i blame it on not having a cell phone. But then in the middle of me yelling he says "but i still love you". (You have to know that the last time he was drunk he almost told me he loved me, but then took it back when he was sober.) So that was the last straw! i was so mad! And then he fell asleep before i even got on the parkway! (btw...never had a funnier parkway experience in my life... kids, don't get out of the car and give a stranger a quarter at a toll ever!) So whatever, i was pissed off all night, barely got sleep, cried alot, left vulgar messages, contemplated dumping his selfish ass. He called me the next day and i told him i was still pissed at him but he wanted me to come with him to his parent's anyway. So we're at dunkin donuts and i'm screaming and crying about how selfish he is and how he needs a cell phone and how he only tells me he loves me when he's drunk... when he turns my face to him and looks me right in the eyes and yells "I LOVE YOU"!!! He explained how he realized it a few days ago but wanted to tell me when we went out to eat this sunday so it was special. but that he wasn't lying to me friday night, he just doesn't have a filter for his mouth when he's drunk. So that's it.... we're in love (and currently in cell phone buying discussion)
hope you like my story... don't tell joe i posted it!
current mood: loved current music: Don McLean - American Pie
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| Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004
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12:30 pm - Bits of teeth and a new projector
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ok so i finished "The Rescue" last night. good book. When I had about a chapter left joe called me. We were having good convo about work and his vaca and shit then there was another call and he said hold on... I held on for like 10 minutes and hung up and the fucker didn't call me back!!!! wtf? he didn't say good by or anything he just clicked over and was gone. That pissed me off big time. So i finished my book, cried alil (about the book not joe) and went to bed. I had the most fucked up dreams! I was in my room and all of a sudden adam showed up. He said he broke out of jail to watch lord of the rings w/ me with my new movie projector (?!?) so we're hanging out maybe fighting i don't remember, when all of a sudden... my tooth fell out! one of the back bottom molars... it was so friggen realistic. I felt it fall out, i even had to spit out a little piece of it. So, of course, i went to go find my mom to give her my tooth (? why did she need my tooth?) and then another one fell out, and then one of the front ones and a few more.. i kept giving them to my mom. Then me with my hockey player mouth saw sandra and she was talking about her new tattoo and how she hated all black people (she's not really racist) so she lifted up her shirt to show me and it said "KKK" across her stomach... but it wasn't "her" stomach it was the stomach of some fat hairy guy... then i woke up and checked to see if i still had all my teeth. Now come on... HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT DREAM???? its the third time i dreamt my teeth fell out and i handed them to my mom.. wtf! it took me forever to fall back to sleep after that one. and then i had dreams there was a car accident and a fire and i had a retarded baby (parts of the book i finished). just a weird night i guess. Sandra's starting to not like joe. She says he doesn't treat me good enough... i dunno i guess i'm indifferent about it, considering i haven't seen him in a week and only talk to him for 5 min a day i kinda feel single. When he first told me he was going away i was pissed, then i kinda thought we needed a break, not i don't know if the break helped us or hurt us. I guess we'll see when he gets back. But i do kinda agree with sandra, its not that he treats me bad, its just that he doesn't consider me in his decisions as much as he should, as much as i consider him in mine.. ya know? Maybe its something we can work on. I hope so. ANNYWAYS... hope you enjoyed the update i'll do it again in like a month or so bye duckies
current mood: discontent current music: SoCo - Konstantine (confusion w/ a K)
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12:28 am - Work, School and books = no social life!
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| How to make a vlvtrose15 |
Ingredients:
5 parts friendliness
5 parts self-sufficiency
5 parts beauty |
Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little emotion if desired! |
Personality cocktailFrom Go-Quiz.comBoyfriends in florida... Finished reading Wicked, now on to The Rescue... work sucks but they sorta offered me shawns job (don't want it but thanks) Schools boring i don't wanna go anymore... i just need a god damn vacation!!
current mood: discontent current music: crickets and air conditioners
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| Wednesday, May 26th, 2004
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1:01 pm - The bitch is back...
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Ok sorry i haven't updated.... well actually i'm not. I've been busy and haven't been online. Work is so god damn stressful these days... i'm always tired, my stomach hurts, and i get these headaches that i can't stand. Fucking Shawn hasn't shown up in two weeks he says he has "tonsilitis" but i think its more like "fire me i don't want to work here any more" disease. Every problem gets dumped on me, scott or robin. It just sucks. So i go to work everyday ( cuz i can't call out cuz there's no one to cover for me) come home and do house work (really i do) study, go to school, come home and fall asleep or go to joes and fall asleep... then i wake up and do the same thing over again. This weekend i finally have some free time. I want to do something great. I want to go to the city, or fishing, or camping, or a long ass road trip to see a giant ball of string or something ridiculous like that. I think joe's down for anything as long as he doesn't have work... jenne's down for anything that doesn't require too much money... lore?? i dunno, i haven't talked to her in a while... i think she has court or something. I need to do something, its gonna be gorgeous outside. What else? hmmm.... Me and Joey are doing great. No fights. No drama. Just getting to know each other better. His work schedule sucks, he never knows when he will work so we can't really make plans for anything. Soon school will be over though, then he's workin at metro and doin football practice so it won't be as bad. Oh yeah... next weekend he's going to a wedding..... with another girl! Its this chick Jen. His roomates say she's a cool chick, and i believe them. But i am a little jealous... i mean i have to. They "sorta had a thing" off and on a couple years ago. But joe doesn't bitch about me going to visit steel so i can't bitch about this. I feel kinda left behind by my girls.... its not their fault, i just haven't been around. Jenne and Lore have been hanging out alot lately and i feel like i miss everything. Conclusion: i gotta get away from my job and all the stress. Everything should fall into place after that.
p.s. i bought new cd's - the new avril, autopilot off, and sugarcult
here's my fav new avril song, it kinda makes me bitter though:
Happy Ending
So much for my happy ending Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
Let's talk this over It's not like we're dead Was it something I did? Was it something You said? Don't leave me hanging In a city so dead Held up up so high On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew And I thought we could be
[Chorus:] You were everything, everything that I wanted We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away All this time you were pretending So much for my happy ending Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
You've got your dumb friends I know what they say They tell you I'm difficult But so are they But they don't know me Do they even know you? All the things you hide from me All the shit that you do
You were all the things I thought I knew And I thought we could be
[Chorus]
It's nice to know you were there Thanks for acting like you cared And making me feel like I was the only one It's nice to know we had it all Thanks for watching as I fall And letting me know we were done
[Chorus x2]
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
current mood: stressed current music: Sugarcult - Bruises
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| Friday, April 30th, 2004
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12:03 pm - woo hoo something corporate rocks!
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| Wednesday, April 14th, 2004
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2:31 pm
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lorelei wrote this about *someone* but i think it has more to do w/ me and my *someone* so here you go:
BuTtErFLieS
i apologize for calling you, i know its kinda late but alots been on my mind and i fear it couldnt wait i just wanted to say hello, and make sure your doing all right i guess i needed to talk to you, to get me through the nite
but the real reason i called might shock the hell out of you i've actually been doin well, and i found somebody new someone who makes me smile, and adores everything in me who finds me his reason for living, and loves me whole heartedly
but before i give my heart to him, i had to hear your voice i just had to know for certain if i was making the right choice but now that im talking to you, i dont think that i could do you think i should love him? are you really gone for good?
because i dont want to fall in love with him & miss my chance with u and let this all have been for nothing, after all that i've been through but what if i find happiness wit him &, god forbid, there comes a day when u want me again but i dont want u, and i turn your love away?
i fear the day that i wont need you, like i always have before but i also fear I'll never get u back. Im not sure what i fear more so i need u to tell me honestly, what you want me to do should i ride on back of this princes horse, or should i wait for u?
because if u tell me that its over & u will make that girl your wife then I'll let u go once & for all, and get on with me life but if theres still a part of you that feels anything for me you have to tell me right now, and tell me truthfully
is she standing there beside u? wondering whos on the phone? would u rather have this conversation when your all alone? okay just do something for me then, lay down and close your eyes i want u to think about me tonite, and see if u get the butterflies..
copyright 2004
current mood: nostalgic current music: Something Corporate - I want to save you
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| Tuesday, April 6th, 2004
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9:40 pm - Chicken McNugget in a Radio Flyer
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I've been having such a good time w/ joe lately. It started friday when me and jenne went to his apt to chill w/ him and his friends anthony (gilby) and Chris No-Limbs McNugget. (funny story, don't wanna explain) I think i was just pissed that i didn't see joe enough. but we're workin through it and its definately a good time. Almost on 3 months now!! woot woot!! how proud are you of me?? ok journals suck peace
current mood: giddy current music: Dashboard - Forgery
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| Wednesday, March 31st, 2004
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2:02 pm - Random ish
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clear your mind, read each word, and without thinking about it thoroughly write the first thing that comes to mind for each one. its fun...
1. green.. Jenne's Hat 2. dollar.. I only have one 3. teddy bear.. white bear adam gave me 4. rain.. puddles 5. stars.. watching them 6. music.. my life 7.beer.. my other life 8. wheat thins.. jasmine as a puppy 9. paint.. what i did a few days ago 10. rabbit.. mishu ate mine *sniff* 11.nail file.. lost mine, need one 12.magic.. show? 13.blue.. looks damn good on me 14.french fries.. frosty 15.snow.. shoveling 16.ham.. and cheese 17.pretty.. joeys sooo purty 18.spiders.. dee! ahhhh 19.horse.. malibu ranch 20.watermelon.. seeds 21.party invitations.. stamps 22.pool.. party 23.shoelace.. untied 24.alphabet.. alphabet soup 25.tree.. monkey 26.love.. true love 27.poker.. w/ daddy 28.summer.. ROAD TRIP! 29.santa claus.. my baby 30.yellow.. yellowcard
current mood: enthralled current music: The Get Up Kids - Regret
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| Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
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1:41 pm - If I lied.... would it make a difference?
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Called somebody.... probably shouldn't have... oh well-nothings different. What did I expect? I need to hang out w/ my BOYFRIEND more.
this song isn't nearly as depressing as it is when you read it, but oh well
Finch Lyrics
Letters To You Lyrics
Can't you see that i wanna be there with open arms It's empty tonight and i'm all alone Get me through this one Do you notice i'm gone? Where do you run to so far away? I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so I'm writing again these letters to you on much I know But i'm not sleeping and you're not here The thought stops my heart No more looking i've found her I'm gone away...
current mood: grumpy current music: Lost Prophets - Last Train
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| Saturday, March 27th, 2004
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6:58 pm - shit talkers
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I DO NOT HAVE HERPES...... I DID NOT SLEEP WITH PAUL you don't know me, don't comment on my life anonymous posters suck you fucking anal beast!!!!!!
current mood: pissed off current music: Brand New - Secondary
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6:26 pm
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Taking Back Sunday Lyrics
There's No "I" In Team Lyrics
Well I can't regret, can't you just forget it? I started something I couldn't finish And if we go down, we go down together best friends means, well best friends means
And I've got a twenty-dollar bill that says you're up late night starting fist fights versus fences in your backyard Wearing your black eye like a badge of honor Soaking in sympathy from friends who never loved you nearly half as much as me
Broken down in bars and bathrooms All I did was what I had to Don't believe me when I tell you it's just what anyone would do Take the time to talk about it Think a lot and live without it Don't believe me when I tell you it's something unforgivable...ohoh
Well I can't regret, can't you just forget it? I started something I couldn't finish If we go down, we go down together best friends means, well best friends means
You never knew well i never told you... Everything I know about breaking hearts I learned from you, it's true I've never done it with the style and grace you have But I've made long term plans based on these mistakes
Broken down in bars and bathrooms All I did was what I had to Don't believe me when I tell you it's just what anyone would do Take the time to talk about it Think a lot and live without it Don't believe me when I tell you it's something unforgivable
Is this what you call tact? I swear you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back so let's end this call, and end this conversation there's nothing worse... (that's right he said, that's right he said it) I swear, you have no idea The jealousy that became me thinking (that's right he said) that you always had it way too easy
Broken down in bars and bathrooms All I did was what I had to Don't believe me when I tell you it's just what anyone would do Take the time to talk about it Think a lot and live without it Don't believe me when I tell you it's something unforgivable
Best friends means I pulled the trigger Best friends means you get what you deserve Best friends means I pulled the trigger Best friends means you get what you deserve Best friends means I pulled the trigger Best friends means you get what you deserve Best friends means I pulled the trigger Best friends means you get what you deserve Best friends means I pulled the trigger Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friend thinks I pulled the trigger!!! Best friend thinks you get what you deserve!!!
current mood: annoyed current music: TBS there is no I in team
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| Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004
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12:30 am - if you get it... you get it. if you don't.... sucks to be you
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Finger Eleven Lyrics
One Thing Lyrics
Restless tonight Cause I wasted the light Between both these times I drew a really thin line It's nothing I planned And not that I can But you should be mine Across that line
If I traded it all If I gave it all away for one thing Just for one thing If I sorted it out If I knew all about this one thing Wouldn't that be something
I promise I might Not walk on by Maybe next time But not this time
Even though I know I don't want to know Yeah I guess I know I just hate how it sounds
current mood: lethargic current music: Finger Eleven - One Thing
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| Tuesday, February 17th, 2004
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9:58 pm - i don't know why i bother updating
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hi.... bored... got some news I had the greatest valentines day of my life... dinner, a lil dance, some drinking, candlelight, chocolates, and i got myself a boyfriend out of the deal. good time... this kid is fucking fantastic. i'm not gonna gush about it i promise, just letting you know i'm happy. Next week is Birthday week.... lisa verga - 22nd, aunt barbs - 24th, Daddys - 26th, Jenne's- 27th, Marc's - 28th.... gotta do something good, got some ideas stirring but suggestions are welcome. I"m craving chocolate like its nobody's business... even breaking out from it... driving me nuts Valentines week at work wasn't hell... it was kinda easy... weird
that's about it.... nobody reads this shit anyway have fun
current smell: Chocolate
current mood: jubilant current music: Something Corporate - 21 and Invincible
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| Sunday, February 8th, 2004
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12:09 am - I should've walked home!
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haha fun night... scorpion bowling. Hangover this morning, stayed in bed till 3. I'm a wreck. My week will be hell... I have a test on monday and a test on wednesday plus no days off till the 18th if i'm lucky probably the 20th. I wanna hang out w/ joe tomorrow but i have to study... even though i've been studying for a while already i didn't touch on the lab shit and i'm havin trouble w/ some of the medical terminology, you can't break up most of the words! so i probably won't see him tomorrow, or monday, or tuesday... hell... i'll see him at work on thursday.. omg! that's like a whole week w/o him. Maybe i'm just flipping for no reason....i dunno, we'll see. Lore if you could meet up w/ me monday or tuesday to study for term i'd love you forever! please please! I hate to say this but school comes before boys... ick. i fucking hate valentines day!!! it ruins my life for a good week! I don't sleep enough, i don't have time for friends, i can't drink, i can't have any kind of fun at all!!!!!! booo! f valentines day... this one of the very few valentines days that i have a guy too. ugh... oh yeah... jerry is a pain these days, he's miserable. i don't know how he didn't see it coming though. oh well. thanks for listening to me bitch! sleep time now
Current Smell: decaf coffee and fudge swirl ice cream... yumm
current mood: pessimistic current music: The Offspring - Hit That
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| Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004
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9:42 pm - Ah shheeet... another survey
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Best friend(s): Jenne, Lore, Sandra Good guy friends: Adam, Marc People who you have told the most secrets to: Jenne and Lore and practically everyone else (i can't keep a secret about myself Always online 24/7: Lore, Me Person that you e-mail the most: I don't really write emails Do your friends love you: They better or i'll kick'em Biggest Flirt: Tayrin Most outgoing: Lore Shyest: Sandra till she's drunk.... then me Wildest: Lore Skinniest: Sandra Most annoying: about twice a year sandra annoys the hell outta me... the rest of the time its Jerry Most hyper: Me and Jenne on the way to school One you love: all of um Most fun to be around: Joe entertains the shit outta me One you'll never forget: you can't forget people that were there for you for everything Smartest: Adam Stupidist: Adam Best Couple: Cheryl and Joe or Sandra and Dusan Worst couple: Jenne and Jerry or Lore and Paul
~*Favorites*~
Girl name: Arianna Boy name: Eric Superhero: Wolverine Ice cream: Black Cherry Music: Emo... Punk... Alternative... Rock... Country Brand of clothing: Mudd Holiday: St. Patricks Day.. b/c i don't have to work and I get to get drunk Time of day: Afternoon Song: Jude Law and a Semester Abroad - Brand New Store: Cuchi's Drink: Cranberry and vodka, coors light... iced te Food: pickles and ga-lump-kees Restaurant: DPs Place: Joe's bed School subject: science Show: One Tree Hill, Friends, Gilmore Girls Toy: Jack and Peter Teacher: Mrs. Sundej Animal: Jasmine Color: light blue Car: Dodge Stratus.... Chevy SSR Actor: Orlando Bloom Actress: Kate Hudson Fast Food Place: Wendy's or Arbys Shoe brand: Guess or Steve Madden Sex Position: i dunno... i'll get back to you after joe leaves Koolaid Flavor: Cherry Body part on yourself: feet Body part on someone else: eyes... smile... cheeks Hair style: really long and wavy curls Shampoo brand: Pantene ProV Sport: ick... um... ice skating? Number: 11
~*LOVE*~
Your Crush: Joey! First Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Matthew Urspruch Is there anyone that you would date again: nah I think i'm done with all of them Do you believe in love at first sight: or do you want me to walk by again. lol List all the people that you have dated more than a month: brian, adam, matthew, scott, larry, maybe diggie Would you kiss on the first date? almost always do Have you done drugs: yes. Have you smoked cigarettes: marlboro lights Have you had sex: recently as a matter of fact Are you single: um.... i dunno... i never asked What's the farthest you've gone with someone of the opposite sex: you already asked me if i had sex... how much farther is there? Have you ever done anything sexual in public: yessiree... got caught too
~*THE LAST THING*~
Thing you ate: Carrots and ranch dip Thing you drank: Iced Tea Show you watched: some true life thing on mtv Person you saw: Jenne... denise... jasmine Who's car you rode in: mine... before that... joe's Told you they loved you: daddy Movie you watched: gladiator - but i didn't watch it... it was just on Person who gave you the finger: joe
~*RANDOM*~
Cheerleaders are: funny lookin I am: talking on the phone Your mom: a sweetie Your dad: the greatest guy on the planet If you were stranded on a deserted island and you had 5 things, who or what would they be? peter.. a real boy.. my music (that counts as one).. Jenne.. cigarettes What's your favorite Christmas song? gloria "glo-ooooo-ooooo-ooooo-ria in ex bla bla day-o" Do you do your own laundry? half of it... then it gets magically finished What time is it now? 10:09 p.m.
current mood: giddy current music: Joe on the phone yellin at his video game
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| Friday, January 30th, 2004
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3:41 pm - You're All Flickers!!!!
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cleaning sucks... procrastination rocks!!!! i'm 1/4 done cleaning my room and didn't even start the computer room. My car is in the shop AGAIN. last time i promise. I've been having a lot of fun w/ joe... Jenne's always around now... sandra's always around now.. Lorelei's not allowed at my house.... I ACTUALLY have friends now. Good Times. Plans for the rest of today: Finish cleaning, shower, pick up car, clean more w/ jenne, find my friends, go to applebees, go back to my house and play stupid games and watch movies and get shitfaced. Yay! I got all A's on my tests last week.... I have a test on thursday again. boo touch my pepe!!!!!!! woohoo!! k peas
Current Smell: FeBreeze!
current mood: silly current music: Something Corporate ~ Only Ashes
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| Tuesday, January 27th, 2004
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3:11 pm - Snow God Damnit!!!!!
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I have time to update now... but blurty won't let me on... ok um... Tuesday, January 27th, 2004 2:47 p.m.
The fact that it's not snowing is making my life miserable.
I found something more difficult than juggling a full time job and night school.... juggling a full time job, night school and a guy. And not just any guy... Santa!! (maybe the santa thing is getting lame) So this Joe guy... hmm... i think i'd ditch all my responsibilities to hang out with him. He's soo great. He's cute and funny and smart and nice and sarcastic and a great kisser and he gets along with my friends (except for maybe Crystal hehe) and we are almost too comfortable with eachother. AND he doesn't have a girlfriend!!!!! woot woot!!! lol. I know you all hate the mushy crap so i promise i'm done for now.
Schools going great... i took three tests so far... got 2 As and 1 A+... i'm such a dork. Shawns dog is a cock block, but he's cute so I forgive him. Flat tire on friday.. hit a giant ass pot hole like 8ft deep... marc was my knight in shining armor. Lost my cell phone friday night on the mean streets of Hackensack, but joey found it so everythings good. I busted my ass on my way to warm up my car sunday at 6am.... bruised the shit outta my knees and cut up my hand... you know you wanted to see me fall. I even laughed at myself as i limped to the car. What a weekend!! I want it to snow soooo bad. If it snows i don't have school, i won't have work tomorrow, and joe invited me over for a snowed-in party. So i wouldn't do anything but hang out with joe for an entire day... how good does that sound??? Except its not f-ing snowing yet!!! I LOOOOOVE the Lost Prophets!!! Last Train is soooo good. uh oh something new for me to be obsessed with. Robin is being soooo nice to me lately, its freaking me out. She keep askin about Joe. Shes cute. Frank doesn't leave us alone anymore, he sends like 4 people home early everyday... i was one of them yesterday. No money next week. Um... i'm runnin out of things to say. So I guess I'll say good bye. wish me luck with joe... maybe i can kick old habits this time, :) Smooches
Current Smell: Quiche i love quiche
current mood: cheerful current music: Lost Prophets- And She Told Me To Leave
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| Wednesday, January 21st, 2004
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4:48 pm - f-kumquats...... Are you related to Santa?
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I've noticed that when i'm happy i have alot less to write. Talked to Joe for 3 hours again - he pointed out the fact that he doesn't like to talk on the phone, but for some reason he can't hang up with me. hehehe. Shawn gave me directions to his apt... it takes like 45 min to get there. Fuck! that's sooo far. He's stocking the fridge for me... i didn't tell him that joe was comin over, maybe tomorrow i'll tell him. Scott said I lost weight and look good.... DAMN RIGHT! You know you want me!! Someone from my past has recently decided to show his face... that makes me real bitter:bitter sucks! Go back where you came from beeyatch!!!! One Tree Hill is absolutely the GREATEST show!! I love it! My friends rock! peas
Current Smell: Freshly Brewed Coffee
current mood: rushed current music: Something Corporate: When It Goes Down.
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| Monday, January 19th, 2004
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1:33 am - The ABCs of Snacks
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Just got off the phone w/ Joe. He's really great. That kid cracked me up for three and a half hours. He took me on the best date ever. We went out for pizza and saw Along Came Polly. Which was really funny btw... but funnier cuz Joe was there. He's a real good kisser... but his mustache tickles. I'm really excited about this guy, hes sooo cute. I'm going by his apt on thursday to "watch movies" then he's comin out w/ me and my friends to shamrocks on friday. Wish me luck with this one... I like him alot.
current mood: excited current music: You've Got Mail - the movie
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