Heather Ann's Blurty

Subject:	Jenga
Time:	6:32 am.
Mood:	scared.
Music:	water running free.

I feel like my whole life is on the verge of falling apart. I've kept everything so perfect, everyone so happy, for so long... I think it might finally tumble down.

Jesse might actually leave me. I don't know. He thinks he's not good enough for me and won't ever make me happy. He thinks I'm with him just to take care of him. I think I'm terrified and don't want him to go.

Grades are coming up and I'm not even finished with my two huge papers. I only have eleven days to complete them.

I just want to lay on Jesse's shoulder and be held. I don't know if I'm allowed to do that.

I need to call Nauti and Bryant.

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Subject:	Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckk
Time:	3:05 pm.
Mood:	frustrated.

I have a question. Why does everything fucking suck?

I haven't spoken with Jesse since this morning. He was really sweet and loving to me, so now I'm just confused. I think I'm going to visit him at work tonight. I have rehearsal at SLO Little Theatre anyway.

I'm gonna buy us tickets to Ellen Degeneres' upcoming show. Bribery? Uh, obviously.

I have another photoshoot today. I can't believe I'm a professional model now. That's just rediculous.

I have to go shower before the shoot...

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