Blurty for Heather Ann.

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Saturday, April 28th, 2007

Subject:love and iron
Time:2:15 pm.
I got a new silver spinner ring with hearts all around it and four coconut bracelets.
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Subject:It's getting better, a little better all the time
Time:6:44 am.
Mood: relaxed.
Music:click click of the shutter.
A little better since you've been mine...

Jesse apologized. He doesn't want to break up at all. I'm glad because losing him would be the end of my world for a while.

All my clients are doing well, Lolo is still way too needy and self-pitying, but whatever. Birdy's back has been hurting her. Her birthday's coming up and her family invited me out to lunch with them. I think I'm go to church with her too, that'll make her happy.

One of my papers is practically finished. I just need to write the conclusion. My other paper's about a third finished, but it's not nearly as long. I'll have it done on time.

I have a take-home midterm to do for Phil 9, and some big fancy project for Fam 10, but I haven't even looked at it yet. Maybe I'll get them done this weekend.

I just wanna lay around and take pictures. I don't have to leave for work for another hour.
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Friday, April 27th, 2007

Time:3:05 pm.
Mood: frustrated.
I have a question. Why does everything fucking suck?

I haven't spoken with Jesse since this morning. He was really sweet and loving to me, so now I'm just confused. I think I'm going to visit him at work tonight. I have rehearsal at SLO Little Theatre anyway.

I'm gonna buy us tickets to Ellen Degeneres' upcoming show. Bribery? Uh, obviously.

I have another photoshoot today. I can't believe I'm a professional model now. That's just rediculous.

I have to go shower before the shoot...
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Time:6:32 am.
Mood: scared.
Music:water running free.
I feel like my whole life is on the verge of falling apart. I've kept everything so perfect, everyone so happy, for so long... I think it might finally tumble down.

Jesse might actually leave me. I don't know. He thinks he's not good enough for me and won't ever make me happy. He thinks I'm with him just to take care of him. I think I'm terrified and don't want him to go.

Grades are coming up and I'm not even finished with my two huge papers. I only have eleven days to complete them.

I just want to lay on Jesse's shoulder and be held. I don't know if I'm allowed to do that.

I need to call Nauti and Bryant.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, April 17th, 2007

Subject:I like coffee and I like tea
Time:6:52 am.
Mood: cheerful.
Music:Blues Traveler.
I have to be at school in two hours.

Everybody loves school!

Then I have two clients back to back, and then rehearsal.

Yesterday's rehearsal was shit. The people I'm acting with are just horrible. I won't even call them actors... because they're not. They're just rediculous.

All throughout rehearsal, I kept thinking, 'I can't believe I agreed to do a show with these children!!' and then I remember they're all eighteen, like me. Snob much?

Rehearsals are kinda boring, because the director never needs me to change anything with my acting. So it's pretty much just me sitting around, watching the director try to improve bad actors who aren't even off the book yet.

Soooo that's my rant, and I feel better!

Last night Jesse and I hung out with Nauti. She met us at our house, then we picked up burritos (Jesse paid for everyone), then Jesse and I got beer and wine coolers, and then we all met at her house and watched Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, but we all talked through most of it.

Still though, that's a funny fucking movie.
We called Santiago and checked on Nauti's kitty, who's gonna have a litter of kittens soon. Santiago was drunk too. Nauti and I got drunk, Jesse didn't. I didn't have any cigarettes, so I smoked all of Nauti's.
Nauti and Jesse had a burping contest, that I couldn't join cause I can't burp on command. Jesse won.

Somehow we got on the topic of ex's, and I realized that of the eleven or twelve guys I've dated, I only actually find three of them attractive at all. Jesse, Bryant, and Matt Golde. The rest of them are totally ugly.
Jesse said that his ex was awful looking. Nauti said that she considered three of her ex's to be hot, but the rest were hideous.

Why do we date ugly people?
Is it lonliness?
Do we forge a mental attraction?
Because it's easier than saying, "No"?

Sigh... and how many licks will it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.

The world may never know.
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Monday, April 16th, 2007

Subject:Damn Incubus
Time:7:37 am.
Mood: pleased.
I've never really been a huge fan of Incubus, but right now one of the damn songs are stuck in my head. Hhm.. I should listen to it on the way to school. I have all of the decent Incubus songs on my iPod. Including the one that's running through my head.

No dreams last night! Hurray!

Jesse and I baked that cake last night, and then made Mudslides and stuff. We have so much fun together. I really love being with him.

Today's the first day back at school (this past week was Spring Break). I only have Philosophy today, and then rehearsal and all that fun stuff. I don't think I have any clients today. At least, none are penned into my planner, so if I do have clients, I forgot about them.

I really love my job, and I love earning assloads of money, but today I just want to lay around, cuddle with Jesse, and eat cake.
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Sunday, April 15th, 2007

Subject:Been waiting for you since birth
Time:4:09 pm.
Mood: content.
Music:Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.
So, I spent almost all day hanging out with Ty. We bumped into a bunch of people, so I bet there'll be fun "Heather's cheating on Jesse" rumors rolling about soon. Whatever, Jesse knows I would never cheat on him. He's more than enough man for me.

He's taking me to Magic Mountain again. I love him so!!

I've been having really strange dreams lately, wherein I'm forced to have sex with a man for some reason or another. It's like, if I don't, then he'll kill my family, or in one dream, if I didn't let this guy have sex with me, he would have killed Jesse. I always close my eyes and pretend it's Jesse, but I always save myself before we actually do anything.

I wonder what a Freudian would say.

All I wanna do for the rest of the day is hang out and watch cartoons. I got all of my homework up to date, and I sent off my paychecks for the first two weeks of this month. I'll be getting my $750.00 in a couple days. I swear I won't go shopping with it. %10 must go into Savings.

Hm... I miss Jesse... he's at his dad's house eating soup. I don't care much for soup. Not a soup person, really. He said he'd come over here when he was done... I called him on my way home from Tyson's house...

I want to bake a cake. A delicious, scrumptulous, pink cake, made with fresh strawberries, with green frosting and white chocolate chips.

Ohmagoddess... that sounds so damn good.
Oh!! Jesse's here. I'm going to ask him if he wants to bake with me. I think it's strawberry season, after all.
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Friday, April 13th, 2007

Time:4:23 pm.
Mood: ecstatic.
I'm watching Galaxy Quest with Jesse! The bad guy has a spiderface.

The Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie came out today, but nowhere in SLO county!! I don't have to pay for movies anywhere in this county, so I refuse to pay $10 a person in Santa Maria.

Daddy and I went for a ride today on the Harley. I fucking love motorcycles. I WANT A HARLEY SPORTSTER!!!!!!!!

I'm sooooo happy today!!! True blue, baby I love you-oo!!
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Subject:Because people NEVER CHANGE
Time:7:18 am.
Mood: happy.
Music:80's mix.
Wendy's been stressing her poor little head off. I'm gonna call her tonight. I feel like she needs someone objective to vent too.
I heard through the grapevine that Daisy is dating that Alex kid. Didn't he used to like me? It's sad that all of her boyfriends have wanted me at one time or another. But I really don't think much of her taste in men. I think Jesse may be the one good looking man she's ever been with!!

Eeew.... Daisy and Alex.... the term "bumping uglies" has a whole new meaning.

That's hurtful. Good thing no one reads this journal.

So.... I bought a $400 pair of Prada boots yesterday. They're totally worth it, and besides I was actually saving like $375, cause I bought them on! They're totally fucking cute.

Yesterday I was hanging out with Nauti, and her boyfriend John kept following us around and wanting to chill with us. He kept blurting out weird shit like "My auntie just died" or "I've done enough crying lately" even if no one said anything to lead up to that. Aparently he's having lots of family drama or something. No one really filled me in. I didn't really want to know.
He got really upset when Nauti said she wasn't coming to his baseball game. She wanted to hang out with me and bake a cake. He shut himself in Nauti's room. Nauti took me home and I felt really pissed off, but I knew Nauti had to deal with more, so I didn't stress her out with my anger.
As soon as I got home, my daddy suggested a ride on the Harley, so off we went. It was awesome.

Now I have to go to Alice's house. She's my favourite client. I don't have to be there for two hours but I want to shower first.

I think I wanna go to Hawai'i.
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Thursday, April 12th, 2007

Subject:Hey there Mr. Fancy Pants
Time:7:05 am.
Mood: silly.
I have the strangest dreams, man. I was undercover at a homeless shelter trying to bust up this crime ring, but then someone started having a diabetic seizure so I start screaming, "Get her some cake!!!! Cake, damnit!!" and so they do and she's fine, when I'm pretty sure, in real life, that would kill a diabetic.
And then Jessy and Nauti are there and this music starts playing and we start dancing, like this perfectly choreographed lame lame dance, and someone was taking pictures of us but I couldn't see who, and Jesse bought us our own house but I didn't want to live in it without my homeless friends....

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Wednesday, April 11th, 2007

Time:7:30 am.
Mood: aggravated.
Music:Third Eye Blind.
My dog is flipping out. I don't know why. He's just barking his head off at the back porch.

I'm in a fairly bad mood. One of my MB clients called me at six a.m., she had an emergency. I was halfway dressed when her daughter called back and said I didn't have to come right away, cause she was there now, but could I come early?

So now I have to be there at 9:30 a.m. instead of 11:00 a.m., and oh yeah, my car broke down yesterday and won't be fixed until this afternoon, so I have to have my boyfriend drive me to and from my clients today, like a fucking co-dependant high school sophomore. He offered to, but it doesn't make me feel any less stupid.

God fucking damn it all.

.... oh well.... at least I have really cute new panties. I'm gonna go take a shower and then fuck Jesse. That's a little out of order, but I don't mind smelling like Jessesex all day.
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Tuesday, April 10th, 2007

Subject:I've been for a walk
Time:7:50 pm.
Mood: tired.
Music:Taxes Hoe Down on Whose Line is it Anyway.
All I want to do... is sit in the bath and play Zelda.

For the rest of my life.
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Subject:the moment I decide not to abandon me
Time:7:04 am.
Music:the shower.
I lay here on the carpet, listening to millions of drops of water hammer the shower floor. Jesse always asks what I'm doing... "Just waiting for the shower to heat up!" I say, but that's a lie. We're off a water heater, so we both know you don't have to wait.
"What're you doing, silly girl?" he asks. "Why are you so far away from me?"
So I invite him to join me. "There's room for two," I promise, sliding over.

He only ever did once. I was lying naked on a huge towel, with a blanket half covering me. The master bathroom is huge, see? So Mum uses the closet in there to keep spare blankets and pillows.
Jesse gazed for a second at my bare back and shoulders, then hurriedly stripped off his pajama pants and slid under the blanket next to me.

He made love to me then, and I closed my eyes and imagined ourselves in a cave behind a waterfall.

Yeah... I like the bathroom.

So. Jesse and I went up to the Santa Maria mall yesterday. I got a new bag, a hat, a new sweater, and some shoes. It was awesome. I thought about getting my ears peirced again, but the lady looked extremely sketchy, and I figured she'd give me AIDS or something. So I didn't.

Jesse bought some new video games.

After we got back, we went to see Blades of Glory. I love how we never have to pay for anything at the theatre.

Blades of Glory is the funniest movie in the world.

We came home and I'd gotten a paycheck from IHSS. So that cancelled out the money spending.

I put %10 of every paycheck into Savings anyway. So what if I blow the rest.
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Sunday, April 8th, 2007

Subject:meow meow
Time:6:02 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
Music:Alanis Morissette.
I spend too much money. Too much damn money.

I miss Jesse!! He's right here... but he's napping. We took a bath, played a game of chess, and had dinner. Now he's passed out on the couch with Harley.

I was just looking through my Flickr, and I can't believe how long my hair has grown!!

I had a very discomforting dream. Daisy (← Jesse's exgirlfriend) was stalking Jesse and I, taking pictures with a Canon Powershot AS 15. I was trying to steal the camera whilst escaping from her craziness.

Really though... I want that AS. But the Daisyness was creepy. I swear, if she could get away with stalking me, she would. And it makes me nervous.

Well... I'm going to get my mind toward happier things... like new sheets and handmade clothing.

All my love,
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, April 5th, 2007

Time:1:07 pm.
Mood: happy.
Music:Des'ree ♥ You Gotta Be.
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you said?
"What do I do with the hair? Braids? Bun? Twist? Straiten? Toss?"
I ended up with a ponytail, as always.

2. When is the next time you will make out?
In about an hour and ten minutes, when Jesse comes home

3. What's a word that rhymes with "LUCK"

4. What's your favorite plant?

5. Who's the 2nd person on your missed calls list?
Papa John

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
"you gotta be" by Des'ree

7. What shirt are you wearing right now?
The one with the monster destroying a town whilst dreaming of love

8. What do you "label" yourself as?
Helper - Actress - Singer

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?

10. Bright or dark room?
Perfectly in the middle

11. What do you think about the person who last took this?
She's... pretty fucking crazy... and not in the good way. She thinks a lot of herself, especially for someone so generally disliked.

12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?
The one by the window

13. What were you doing at midnight last night...
Chatting with my boyfriend

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?
"I miss you"

15. Who called u last?
Mummy or my director

16. What's a word or phrase that you say a lot?

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
Jesse or my mum

18. Last furry thing you touched?

19. How many drugs have you done in the past 3 days?

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
Eight thousand.

20. Favorite age you have been so far?
Each year is even better than the last.

21. Hats or beanies?
Both, I looove hats of all kinds.

22. Your worst enemy?
Uhm, I guess my kinda mother in law right now. She's pissed off that I get the house.

24. What is the last thing you said to someone?
"See you at the party Saturday"

27. Last song you listened to?

28. If the last person you spoke to on the phone was getting shot at, what would you do?
If Gailey was getting shot at? I'd try to disarm the shooter, I guess. And hope that our show was still on.

30. Do you do the games in the ads on myspace?

31. What are your favorite Pjs?
Super fluffy, oversized pajama bottoms with a fun pattern, paired with a warm long sleeved shirt... or nothing.

32. What do you do when you pass graveyards?
Haha! I live next to a graveyard.

33. Have you ever seen a shooting star?
Many... I like those

34. How old do you think you'll live to be?
Probably, like, early sixties.

35. Song lyrics stuck in your head?
"Don't recognize yourself, a stranger to everybody else, no one can recognize you at all. Well that's alright, that's okay, I'll recognize you any which way. That's okay, that's alright, we'll be each other's medicine tonight"

36 what are 5 things you want to do in the next 20 years?
1.) Get my Ph. D. and open my own practice.
2.) travel.. a lot.
3.) Get married
4.) Buy a HUGE house with a courtyard
5.) Have beautiful babies with Jesse

37. What do you put on your hamburgers?
On my veggie burgers? Avocado, mustard, lettuce, tomatoes, and grilled/fried onions. Mmmm..

38. Do you eat raw hot dogs?

39. Do you like sushi?
OH MAH GODDESS favourite food.

40. How much salad dressing do you put on your salad?
Very little. Sometimes none.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, April 1st, 2007

Time:9:18 pm.
All that lonliness for a moment is through
I was gonna take some time to find some faith in you

You got all twisted up inside
Got a new hairdo and a big disguise

That's alright
That's okay

I'm gonna love you any which way

That's okay
That's alright

We'll be each other's medicine tonight

When you're unfamiliar to yourself
A stranger to everybody else

Well that's alright
That's okay

I'll recognize you any which way
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:12:21 am.
Tonight, Jesse left me willingly, and in came Anthony.

Anthony pleasured me to unusual extremes. He gave me many orgasms... I lost count at five.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, March 29th, 2007

Subject:Who dreams like me
Time:7:52 am.
Mood: relieved.
Music:the shower.
I had a scary dream last night.
I dreamed that Lorelie (my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's illegitimate child) was actually Jesse's daughter. Jesse was furious, but I was secretly excited, cause that meant I got a daughter, but skipped the whole bitchy pregnancy part and still have a stretchmark-free body!
So then Jesse decides he's gonna sue his ex for custody, and PJ gets us a really good lawyer. The judge took one look at Daisy (← that's Jesse's ex's name) and said that she was an unfit mother, and that I was Lorelie's new mother. We legally changed her name to Jessica Ann Battalino, and bought her nice clothes, cause all of her stuff was second hand. Now, here's where the scary shit starts happening...

We head home from shopping, and we were driving this big SUV. Jesse said it was safer for Jessica to have a big, heavy car, in case we got hit. We turn down our driveway, and there's tons of smoke coming out of our windows. We call 911, and I stay with Jessica whilst Jesse runs in to save the cats and Harley. A couple minutes later, he comes running out, but Daisy and her exboyfriend (← who, in real life, is the father of Daisy's kid) is running ahead of him. Jesse's chasing them with a big stick. A fire engine pulls up, and they restrain tiny little Daisy and Co (neither of them are taller than five feet in real life; in my dream, they were miniscule) whilst we wait for the cops to come arrest them.

Daisy's ex kept yelling for Jessica, but the baby calls for "Mommy and Daddy" and reaches for Jesse and I. We go and I pick her up and she falls asleep and drools all over my favourite T shirt. One of the migits breaks out of the firefighters hold and comes running at me and Jessica with an axe. I turn so that the axe will slice open my back, but not harm Jessica, and I awake just before it hits.


I instantly counted on my fingers. Assuming that Jesse was sleeping with Daisy up until the day we met, then the last time they screwed would be December 10th. (I'm actually pretty sure it was before that, but just to be safe.)
I think Lorelei was born on my birthday, October 5th. So... December January February March April May June July August September October... Oh thank the Goddess!! There's no way Jesse and I have a secret Hispanic daughter out there. Cause I really like the shit in my house, I don't need anybody burning it down. Plus.... I have a life. I don't have time for a daughter! I'm only three years away from my B.A.!

Freaky dream from freak land. I don't even know why that idea was in my subconscience, but thank God it's out, huh?

Well, I feel better. I'm going to school now.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, March 27th, 2007

Subject:I wanna thank you, thank you
Time:8:35 pm.
Mood: horny.
I got lots of stuff done today!!

Finished a take home exam
Went to all my classes (which I do every day, but, you know.)
Finished some paperwork for my job
Went to my audition
Took a loooong bath
Made dinner with Jesse
Played music with Jesse
Got some obligatory phone calls out of the way

Now I'm going to fuck Jesse. Yes, fuck him. Because I just got my Depo shot yesterday, I haven't had sex all day, and I am horny as hell.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, March 26th, 2007

Time:10:25 pm.
Mood: lazy.
Music:The Venture Brothers.
I would kill for henchmen.

Jesse promised me a puppy and $1000.00 if I take a year off smoking before I turn 21. I totally want that puppy.

I saw Jesse's ex today, sitting outside of Taco Bell, wearing a TBell uniform. I almost crashed my car, I was laughing so hard. She has gotten fat...

Not that being a little bigger is bad. But it's certainly funny! The poor stretchmarked failure.

Santiago comes into town tomorrow. I can't wait to see his sexy ass.

Sleepy drunk ♥moonowl
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Blurty for Heather Ann.

View:User Info.
View:Website (My Photo Album).
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.