Thursday, January 18th, 2007
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11:25 pm
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so its been a long time... i use my xanga journal now ... so over the summer i had gone to visit matt and it was an amazing 2 weeks ..only for me to come back and him tell me he slept with someone else and yeah so he has a new gf now... i am in school studying criminology which i love... i had $19,000 saved up in a safe in my home but someone broke in over xmas and stole it so i am broke again... im escorting now.. alot better money but january is really slow.. weighting in at 130 now which makes me a fatass... my purging has been really bad lately, and ive started going to the gym again... yeah attempt 5 at recovery didnt work..
not a whole lot to write... visit my new site. www.xanga.com/ripped_bare
love u all..xoxox vickie
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Tuesday, April 18th, 2006
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2:47 am - Update
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here i am still disgusting at 118lbs... dosing on diet pills twice daily 9 per dose.. could be so much better.. going to the gym alot so built up alot of muscle... started scuba diving... still havent heard back from york about my acceptance.... matt called twice from on ship in the middle of europe somewhere to say hi.... hmmm he spent aprox $150 per phone call... like wtf.. dont know whats going on there... well im off so take care..
Once again new blog site is www.xanga.com/ripped_bare
current mood:  sleepy
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Monday, January 9th, 2006
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10:49 pm
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so i weigh in at 126lbs... 16lbs gone in the past 4 weeks.... i dont eat much and cant stop purging what i do eat... i take too many diet pilss..as in 2 or 3 handfulls a day... tak care all
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Thursday, December 8th, 2005
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5:52 pm
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Monday, October 24th, 2005
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7:43 pm - update from hell
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so since the last time i wrote... matt has broken my heart... i lost my job and cant seem to find a new one... im applying to york university in toronto for september.. ive been volunteering.. i havent been eating, or sleeping and im cant get out of this depression.. i met someone who i know is only a rebound guy but hey fake love is better then no love. i visited my sister in toronto so when i go up im living with her. i just had a tooth removed today so i am in alot of physical pain as well. my doctor seems worried about me but oh well falling back into old habits is my speciality. nothing else to really say besides all of it i cut again... take care all, Victoria
current mood:  depressed
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Saturday, September 24th, 2005
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6:12 am - Im still here
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ok so im still here in newfoundland rotting away...how sad.. matt left on august 5th and he is in british columbia...i wont get to see him till after new years some time.. it breaks my heart. im missing him so much but good news missing him reminds me of how much i love him :) sigh.. therefore i work and work and work some more go to the gym and get very little sleep. i tried to get into school (both MUN and CONA) but sadly i was not accepted to mun and the courses i wanted to take at cona were filled...sigh..... my roommate is in university..its funny though i want to go and learn and i cant get in...shes in and never goes to class..sigh i guess thats just the way it goes. im going to toronto on oct 8th to visit my sister.... hehehehe shes nuts. bah ...hmmmmm so this is my weekend off and i have no idea what to do...maybe sleep but no for that is a true waste of time..meh im not sure yet .... So i figured that id write to let you know what ive been up to and that im still here.everyone pray and hope that matt gets posted in halifax after christmas..... closer is better..well ttfn im off to catch a few zzzz's
compleatly over drawn...Vickie
current mood:  listless
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Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
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5:12 am
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Monday, September 19th, 2005
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12:10 am
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Saturday, June 25th, 2005
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10:15 pm
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so matt and i talked last night and we are going to stay together and he said that once he gets up there and we see how it goes, if he gets his own place he will probably ask me to go up with him. i wish he would just ask me now but i gues this is the best i can hope for.. night night.......Vickie
current mood:  disappointed
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Saturday, June 4th, 2005
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5:46 pm
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so im still not sure what is going to happen all i know is that he leaves in 6-8 weeks :( i hate this and it hurts but there is nothing i can do.
current mood:  sad
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Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
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12:00 pm
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so matt failed his supplementrys and now he is going to be gone in a few weeks. he is moving back to halifax and he wont be comming back... my heart is breaking and im scared that he wont want me to go with him or that he wont still want to be with me.. i love him with all my heart and now i dont know what will happen because my heart is leaving me.
current mood: broken hearted, scared,worried
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Sunday, May 8th, 2005
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5:47 pm
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so the way matt has been talking about his exams it doesnt sound like he did too well. which i think really really sucks. hmmm i went to his place the weekend but i came home today b/c he has to clean and do homework and well he had parade again... i dont think he even wants me there at all. i tell him that i love him and automatically he says it back to me.... i dont want him saying that he loves me if he doesnt mean it and lately i dont think he does. i wish i knew what he is thinking. but i will never be able to get inside that boys head. it scares me how much all the little things have changed since he came back.. i mean he wont talk about it and i dont know how to bring it up. all i know is that hes not the same and i dont know what to do.
current mood:  contemplative
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Friday, May 6th, 2005
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1:08 am
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so matt wrote his first supp today he doesnt sound too enthuastic.. he has to write the other one tomorrow.. i hope he does well. i hurt all over.. all my muscles are sore but its my own fault..lol.. not a whole lot to say.. i have to get up in 6 hours.. im going to get to work at 8am but we dont open till 1130.. that sucks ass.. well i guess im going to go back up to bed so night all and please wish matt the best b/c he deserves it and deserves to pass.. night.., Vickie
current mood:  awake
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Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
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12:00 am
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so anyways yesterday was our 1 year and since we were both sick and he had to clean and study we diudnt do anything. so i figure that i will probably do somthing next weekend. i did write him a very nice love note though. so i worked a double today and i only had one client.. there was a total of 5 but amber had one and rachel had 3... i dont ever expect to be chosen over her. so Matt is studying this week for his supplementaries and i figure once im attackable i will go over and molest him. Heheheheheheh is was funny i was molesting matt on the couch friday night and rob walked in on us.. i have never moved so fast in my life. and now matt wont let me molest him on the couch anymore... anyways i got to go to bed b./c i have to work in the morning... ttfn, Vickie
current mood: sleepy
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Friday, April 29th, 2005
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8:09 pm
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thank god i found out today im not pegnant... i started...5 days late but i started. ourr 1 year is in two days.. im not sure what we are doing yet but anything is fine by me as long as we are together. i dont know whatwe are doing tonight but i think its either downtown or at sirens or we might just chill out here and have a few drinks. bah well matt is back from the store so i will go now and bug him so more..lol.... well ttfn, talk to you all later....Vickie
current mood:  relieved
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12:13 am
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I think I'm pregnant....I don't know what to do... I'm not going to tell Matt until I'm sure I am.
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Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
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5:34 pm
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i just woke up..finally fell asleep around 11am... i was talking to matt and he is sleepy but doing well... school is going good for him and he found out that he is able to write his supplementarys... our 1 year is on sunday and im not sure what we are doing. welll i got o go so talk to you all later...vickie
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9:06 am
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I haven't slept yet and for the life of me I cannot figure out why Matt likes me. I honestly don't know. Let alone if and why he loves me. Still stressed, still crying, still dying inside, still can't breathe....later
current mood:  stressed
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1:39 am
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i have no idea what to say... i dont know where to start... everything..EVERYTHING has me stressed out right now.. matt, work, home, sleep, money, 1 year anniversery, future...everything... i dont know what to do and all i want to do is scream. im screwed... i dont know....goodnight
current mood: stressed
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Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
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6:41 pm
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so im at matts right now and he still hasnt mentioned anything about what i did. it kills just waiting for him to say somthing. bah so right now he is playing his game and im writing here until he is finished and talking on the phone. tra la la lala this is soooooo boring so i think im going to go molest matt now...talk to you all later
current mood:  cheerful
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