we all hold on to what ties us together like a rope made out of our fate. one by one we are cut off from each others company, and the piece of rope that was left with me is no longer useful, for it is tied to no one but myself. i saw them all running as if the idea to escape had always lingered in their minds, but i was unaware of where to go. the battle that surrounded me was like the madness we all feel at some point in time. the feilds become angry with guns and the air poisoned by fumes. i became a part of this madness. i was a single drop of blood in this body of war. i was a movement that rippled through the scenery. i never got out. a soldier's body is a treasure, protected or stolen, always targeted. bullets are sprinkled upon faces like morning rain. one hits me through the back waking a part of me i never knew existed. i lay in the field facing east. my eyes shifted towards the light that defined morning as time began to decay into a perfect still. i was the calm of the storm created from a circle of destruction. my last breath was like a precious jewel. the rarest. i fell asleep in a mist of war; yet, i had never felt more at peace.

In the beginning...we were innocent

corrupt is the world today
just as it was the day before
and the way it will be tomorrow
stealing the comfort of security
stripping down to insecurities
masking our faces with mud. our hands with blood
step back and the picture is clearly seen
as it is thrown together from the scraps of our minds
sculpting imagination into ignorence
destroying the foundation of earth
and ourselves

...we all step back
we all observe redhanded

as the world is painted though our wounds

there is a string in my step
lifting my legs and pulling at my arms
creating a web to hold me down

I never want to touch the face of danger; although, i wouldnt mind getting close to it.

slow motion pulls through faster than expected
the ticking begins to fall back as time cries out
this is where it stops, the earth tilts as the
sun dips halfway into the night
the farthest stars drip their light
auroras dance with their blues and greens
set to a trance in God's language
we are out of tune as nature plays its rounds around us
awkward not in our appearance
but in our actions and thoughts
this is where time stalls
slow motion stops
eyes are held on a higher power
the rest of them scatter in madness
living with the laws of nature
dipped as the sun
flipped as the coin of our nation
falling into the soul's starvation
auroras dance in their colored parade
they stand their ground
we stand afraid

A tragedy in life cannot crumble, burn or shred.
It needs to be acknowleged before it is dead.

"...If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning.-C.S. Lewis"

"It amazes me to find an intelligent person who fights against something which he does not at all believe exists." - Gandhi

She's been stepping over murphys law,
photos pass her like static electricity
forming home videos of childhood
manipulating vulnerable eyes
turning memories into lies
luring into the night, into their sight
mocking the restless spirits; disturbed and unwanted
the silence is threatened by oblivious footsteps
tired and wrecked, a heart set
her breath is falling behind
how could a body so restless hold such heavy eyes
see those hands?
she reaches for him still
she always will
through every night
all night
sleepwalking

"My religion consists of humble admiration of the illuminant superior Spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God." Albert Einstein

"For in the true nature of things, if we rightly consider, every green tree is far more glorious than if it were made of gold and silver." - Martin luther

The perspective of our surroundings changes through each eye as minutes carry us across the path of life, holding onto every detail we walk upon. Our bodies are magnets to the little knowledge we are only capible to recieve. The rest of our mind is drawn out in faith, incapible for the eyes to see. we leave scrapes and marks on the walls we wonder through, footprints on the trails we walk upon, and blood on the ceilings we have reached. All through this i was taught, although wise i was not, to fall in the cracks of another would cripple my feet. The rhythm of our step is formed through the process of mistakes and wrong turns, the stepping stone of lessons learned. This is an indivisible circle we have all individualy built. The meaning of this earth blooms through captivating designs in this infinite space. The whole story is hidden until the grace of death, but until then, with every breath, we know nothing.

Date:	2008-01-27 13:00
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	uncomfortable

For a long time I couldn’t speak
It was always the word of loneliness presenting itself
As a lump in my throat
For a long time I couldn’t weep
It was always the confusion pouring itself
Through the words that I wrote
For a long time I couldn’t sleep
It was always that dream playing itself
Over and over and over again
For a long time I fell too deep
It was always the world spinning itself
Back to where it all began
Don’t you remember who I am?

Do you ever have those brilliant ideas in your head right before you go to sleep but the next morning you just can’t seem to remember a single thought you happened to have conjured up except for the fact that it was brilliant? It was almost as if I could have written a book with those spur of the moment thoughts but my mind seemed to be on fast forward too fast to write, type, or even remember. Then it was gone. Then there are those times where I find myself to be completely motivated to clean up my act, become a better person, become knowledgeable, or save the world. Whichever I feel a need to do something with my life but all that motivation seems to disappear the next day as I crawl out of bed with a hangover trying to remember why I was so motivated to chug six beers right after four shots of tequila.
…what really depresses me is feeling so useless right after a day of feeling so useful.

I will write it all out before I snap
It feels good to pretend nothing is wrong
We are all okay
Then we drop dead.

A white flower blossoms in the day light
But this story unfolds in the night
Where innocence turns black in the darkest of hours
And sin cradles even the purest of flowers
Red tips dip from the smallest peddle
Reaching where sunrays once had settled
Tasting the earth; cursed
The dirt becomes poisoned; the grass diseased
Is there no hope for what is kept unseen?
Is there no hope for what lies unclean?
When nature sleeps, the earth weeps
From a forest so black it haunts our dreams
But looking back from its misunderstanding
This cold flower is drenched; clenched
To the life still standing
And as snowflakes fall before the sunrise
This white forest will blind your eyes
Morning is born all over again

You tell me the way love brushes against the skin burns our flesh, weakening the soul entirely, completing the most complicated possession in the simplest way. It feels as if millions of years are broken in half; time bending into pure eternity. Poison drips from our lips to the soil of the earth leaving our bones crossed. I have tasted your every breath, sweetened by the nectar of your whispering promises. Even as our hands crumble and our hearts rust, our love remains with the blackness of space infinitely scattered throughout the heavens Once love is lost in the heart it falls deeply into the soul and with that, it is eternal.

Who still feels the beating of a heart once still?
Who still hears it pleading?
For it has stopped against its will
This heart caused too much bleeding
There was no more love to fill
But is this what you were needing?
The art of your heart?

The touch of your hand tingles on my skin
Your lips swallow mine as they slowly try to take my breath away
You seem so perfect in every way
But I feel nothing for you

I hold a dark secret
It swims in the fountain of jealousy
So I call it my sky flower
As it blossoms guilt above me
I already feel the warm breath of betrayal
Temptation is breathing down my neck
With deep, deep selfishness
I am addicted to his presence
My heart bleeds with curiosity
Oh how I hold forbidden lust
Oh how it showers down on me
So I pick it from the sky
To place it in my hair
I carry it everywhere
Although it leaves me caged
Feeling troubled or misbehaved
My eyes hold his reflection
intertwined with this perfection
My heart is dropping, swimming in my stomach
but knowing what I hold for him
Is written all upon my body
Shed this sin from my skin! peel it like paper!
But shame falls with my eyelids, lingering
I never even noticed the scent of heaven,
Ageing into the stench of hell
My finger rests upon my lips
I hold a deep secret
Buried with the dirt
hushed beneath the grass
It begins to grow like roots of a tree
Spreading beneath my feet
But nature caught the heat
As every eye sees the spread of wildfire
In my hair lies a flower
Withering

Underneath what lies unknown
Crippled legs stay put
Left behind from what moves on
Staying in
laying in
perfect placement
Always and forever
The same
Mentally drained
Underneath the hallucinations
Is solid ground
Never touched from on top the shelf
The dust even shrivels up
Around her crooked smile
Her emotions lie dead
Inside porcelain skin
There is no fascination
With whithered imagination
Her loneliness is a lifetime guarantee
Her loneliness is still haunting me
A childs fantacy once told
died too long ago
Words have faded through the pages of her mind
because underneath the story, she was left behind

I Hear whistles
I see angels and missiles
A child twirls across the sunbeams
And walks through all my dreams
A gun in each hand
It’s a cold world
I wouldn’t understand
I walk through blue sceneries
Crystals fall on top my feet as my legs dangle
The strings attached are tangled
Lured into a state of mind
Innocence tiptoes behind
Kissing every deadly thing
Humbled from light fragrance and angel wings
A fantacy quietly hums within my head
This fire so blue has lost the sense of red
I feel my warm skin become bitter cold
I watch as my hands stiffin
Than watch as they unfold
Captivated through imaginated reality
Scratching at my skin
Shutting out or falling in
There are always two sides to a story
To cause wreckage in the sane
I can’t remember my name
Just the warmth flowing through my veins
But the high turns insane
to scandalize this game
We fall apart to feel complete
Those sharp crystals cut my feet
But they are so beautiful