 |
Journal | Friends | Calendar | User Info | Memories |
Vampire Butterfly's Journal
*sighs* My first attempt at being creative and making my own sig. Took me a few hours to make it..
Current mood:
bored.Current music: Wind.
I was sitting here thinking... A dangerous passtime, I know... I was thinking about life... Or my lack of one.
I've been thinking about life alot lately. Maybe it because my birthday is coming on the 12th... Or cuz my internet connection as of late has been horrid, giving me ample time to think...
When I think about life I can't help thinking that I've reached an age that I never thought I would. I always thought I would burn out fast and fierce like a shooting star, but instead I linger like a mortally wounded animal no one has the heart to put done. But the only thing I've seem to burn out is my will to live.
I tell my family and so-called friends I want to die and they all give me this look... The look that says: Oh great! Melissa is being annoyingly morbid again. They don't seem to understand why anyone would want to die. Than again maybe if I had one of their lives I wouldn't feel this way. Sometimes I wish I could just fake it... Fake being happy... Be another one of those happy shiney faces like everyone else...
I don't see anything that I have to live for. I go thru day by day, seeing and experiencing the worse humanity has to offer. I feel the world ripping away pieces of my soul day by day. Leaving behind just a black hole. No one seem to notice it, but it's there.
As for family and friends.. I doubt many tears would be shed at my passing. I think they would feel relief over no longer having to have me force my 'crazy shit' on them any more. They probly would all sing 'Finally! That bitch is dead.'. The world as a whole wouldn't miss me much. I haven't really left a mark.
I just don't know why I wake up day after day...
In the words of Buffy: 'Give me something to sing about!'
Current mood:
cynical.
I'm so ANNOYED! So annoyed that I want to scream and pull out my own hair!
I don't understand people. They are such hyprocites! People just suck!
Why does a person that has a fit when they're ignored feel so bloody comfortable ignoring someone else? Like they are so more important than everyone else that they feel the need to demand attention. Then have a hissy fit when they don't receive it. But they don't feel a bad at all when all they do is say 'Hi' and then 'I gotta go.'. It's almost like it never crosses their mind how someone else might feel to be ignore.
*growls and storms off*
Current mood:
annoyed.Current music: Youth Of A Nation.
Alright, my name is Misty and I'm nurse at a private practice. I thought I should introduce myself before I went full on rant.
Something happen at work the other day that made me realize how much I hate my fellow humans. I was at my desk making appointments for one of the patient when a man brought in his daughter. I just seen them the other day for the girl's check up. Now the kid look a lot worse.
One of her eyes were swelling shut and she was spitting up blood. From what her father said she 'fell' and he couldn't take her to the ER because his HMO doesn't cover it. It took everything in my power not to attack the SOB.
I don't understand why someone could do such a thing. How can some on hurt something so small and helpless? It makes me question if there anything good left in humanity.
Current mood:
bitchy.