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9th March 2003

5:16pm: to the beat of my own drummer
So this past week was OPT week, that meant I only had school until noon, and still I didn't do many productive things. But interesting things happened. I saw Maid in Manhatten yesterday. I went to a tae kwon doe (sp?) tournement with my 7 year old nephew. I got a $200 scholarship (woo hoo.. that might buy me one book my first semester), which I guess is better than nothing because at least it's good at ANY school. right? I inquired about volunteer work on April 19th, at Stan Hywet Hall and Gardens for their Easter Egg Hunt.. which ought to be fun. I actually got around to scanning in all the pictures for the literary magazine. I went for a scholarship interview in Cleveland and think I did decent but time will tell.

That scholarship interview I think went decent, though thinking back I have better answers to their questions, but doesn't that always happen, I mean being put on the spot to answer was kind of difficult in and of itself. I think I said like and um maybe a bit much, but not as much as normal. And I know I had a smile on my face throughout the entire interview, and I made them laugh. My mom said when she used to hire workers for the bus company, she hired every person who ever made her laugh. I said that's all well but I am competeting for one of two, $2,500 scholarships, not a job. I don't know, and they didn't say anything about when I'd hear about it or anything. But on Friday I went to pick up a permission slip, to go on a trip with Crayola next saturday, from Miss Halasa (the Crayola advisor - the scholarship was through NCCJ which I am involved in through Crayola) and she was like insisting I had to go to this other thing, the NCCJ Spring Conference, on Wednesday, and I had to dress up because I'd be going representing her or something like that. Now the strangest part about that was that two days before we had the conversation that I couldn't go to that event. I said that was fine because I'd gone in past years and wanted to give others an opportunity. And she was insistant I would have to go and dress up next wednesday. I wanted to say no, I pointed out that I'm pretty sure insurance reasons mandate an adult chaparone first of all, and that I would be missing class when I know I have review for an English test that day, and I have a Calculus test that day; obviously that wouldn't be a good day for me to miss. But she is insistant, and Mr. Weigle (our principal - who was in Ms. Halasa's office when I went to get the permission slip) was also insistant. I asked why she couldnt go and she gave me a vauge response. SO NOW.. I don't know what to think or how far to let my mind wander. I mean, they are obviously up to something, right? You don't tell someone they can't do something and then two days later come back and insist that is exactly what they do, and then make them go to extremes to do it (ie. miss 2 tests in AP courses and dress up).. atleast that isn't normal behavior. but what do I say, I'm president of Crayola, I can't just tell the head principal of the school and the advisor of Crayola: that's alright, maybe next time. lol. So my mind has been wandering since Friday afternoon, what is really going on, what the hell am I going to wear since I only have a few dress outfits and I have already worn them for all these other NCCJ sposered events this year, and if maybe this has something to do with the scholarship. At the time I am afraid it doesn't, and I'm letting my mind wander and I will be disappointed which I hate. I never let myself hope for things. You know? I just accept what comes, or doesn't come my way. So I don't know what to think. And it's driving me insane.
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: I don't know why - Norah Jones

(speak up)

3rd March 2003

6:16pm: The pillsbury doughboy..
This one is for Joanna who once told me she was going to Marry the pillsbury doughboy, and I couldn't resist the urge to ask if I could be the "flour girl".. :) *S*

*cough* And on with this pun-filled, but overly cute news "bite".. err sorry for the pun. I can't help myself. :)

It is with heavy heart that I must pass on the following news:

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the Entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in the show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy will live on through his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus the one they had in the oven. He will also live on through his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Current Mood: silly

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28th February 2003

10:46pm: Life is a rollercoaster.. please keep your hands inside the car at all times..
You think sometimes that you have everything under control, that you are the sole owner of your future and that it rests soley on the decisions you make, but you know what, that's right about when you realize you've never been more wrong.

I don't know why, lately I've been bored, bored with everything: school, softball, friends, family, etc. I don't know why but my attention is being pulled into ten different places at one time; it seems I can no longer separate, delegate, and prioritize my activities. So, I sit up for hours doing something I don't care about, wake up early to attend a meeting for some organization I no longer wish to be a part of, and ignore important things like old friends and school work. But ah las, this is the life of me, this is all part of the grand scheme God has planned for me, some challenge he has given me to prove that I don't just want success in the future; that I can handle it, that I can taste it, feel it, smell it, and most importantly envision it. I see my life at this stage as one last hurdle to jump. You know that feeling. When you've been going full speed ahead and you know that you can't slow down yet but that you're so close to that breaking point that it only makes you go faster in an attempt to reach the desired goal, which once seemed so distant, that much sooner.

I am waiting in limbo now to find out my financial aid packages, and I swear if I have to explain why I haven't decided on a specific college yet, just one more time I'm going to freak out. I know only bits pieces of these packages, $2,000 a year to BGSU, $300 a semester for books at Kent, $1,000 a year at Miami... $200 for some Rotary scholarship thing. I feel like I should have more by now. The only scholarship I've won so far is only worth $200.. what the heck is $200 to me if I have to pay $13000? *sigh* I do have to be honest, I go monday to interview for a scholarship worth $2,500, from the lovely folks at NCCJ (the National Conference for Community and Justice), wish me luck, I'm a little bit stunned I even got the interview.

I just don't know anymore.

I feel apprehensive. I'm afraid to open my mail, anxious to know what my packages are, but at the same time I don't want to know, what if it isn't enough, what if it is? Why are all these damned questions filling my head.

I have suggestions for all you underclassmen out there, pick a college early, decide on your major, apply for atleast 100 scholarships, win maybe like 2-3 and suffice, keep up your GPA and realize if you're not already #1 you probably won't be by June, and um yeah.. try not to get too caught up in the technicalities of senior year and find time to enoy it. :)

I am tired. So yeah. That is my piece for the day. Enjoy.

And btw: where is everyone? lol.
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Man I Feel Like a Woman!

(speak up)

21st February 2003

5:37pm: Interesting questions to think about
This was forwarded to me by my brother-in-law who knew I'd appreciate it, we always end up getting into philosophical or ethical or some type of heated discussion when we talk.. lol.. it's actually interesting. He's an english major, and I'm just a dork who knows too much for her own good and doesn't quite understand the concept of being wrong.



Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who
were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis,
would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.


Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.

Candidate A
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two Mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first, no peeking,
then scroll down for the answer.










Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question: If you said yes, you
just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember: Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500
employees and has the following statistics:

29 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up yet?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of idiots
that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of
us in line. You gotta pass this on.....



BY THE WAY.. I said I wouldn't give advice for the first question, but Beetoven was also deaf? that's so sad, that poor woman. And I picked candidate A.. I'm weird, I wouldn't want someone who appeared perfect because then you'd KNOW there was something major underneath, I'd rather know what i'm up against. And the last part is just scary. :)

(speak up)

12:19am: Not much to say
I just finished my essay for this "Plain Dealer Stand Out Student" thing, blah.. too many essays. I love writing essays but there is a point where you just want to say forget it. I am almost to that point. Graduation better come soon.

Also, here's a link to the newspaper article about the thing at my school yesterday, see yesterday's post if you don't know what I'm talking about. It doesn't really say much. I know the 16 year old boy but not the one who actually fired it. ::shrug:: It's going to make my school look a lot worse than it is, but whatever, people are ignorant everywhere, they just show themselves more often at my school. In my four years at North I have seen two students die of a drug overdose, 2 class presidents expelled, 3 incidents of graffitti (major graffitti, as in the entire side of our school which is a big school), and now some kid bringing a gun to school. And a lot more meaningless things like people stealing lap tops and crap. Just goes to show that just because your school is "ghetto" per say, doesn't mean you have to be ghetto - look at ME! lol.. :)

Anyway. It's bed time. Toodles.

(speak up)

19th February 2003

4:45pm: fermin is a jack.. um yeah..
Just thought I'd comment on Fermin being a jack ass again today. He comes in and gets upset because, *cry me a river*, someone OTHER than him is on the computer. And then he comes in here five minutes later all huffy and puffy like.. "where's sam?" I looked at him, and then looked back at the computer. I let him stand there and look like an idiot until he rephrased the question "do you know where sam is?" I didn't look up and answered no. So he goes on "you never know where sam is!" I looked at him and said "since it isn't important to me I don't make it my business to know, if he wanted to you to know where he was he would call home and tell you." Blah. I can't stand him. I am going insane. Does anyone wanna adopt me? I'm leaving in August for college. I'm smart, talented, and I can sleep on the floor. lol.

(speak up)

4:11pm: He had a.. what? ..where?!
I just came home from school. It was rather uneventful day, we had progress reports, I found out I have 3 days of AP Calculus work to do before second period tomorrow because my teacher doesn't want us to get behind schedule for the test in May, I took an AP English test and an Hnrs History test, I finished my photography project by making up random shutter speeds and f-stops because I lost my paper, I started reading the Sound and the Fury, which makes a lot more sense the second time through (i read it last year), I was nominated for the Ohio Board of Regents for scholarship money, I finished my editorial for the paper on the lack of patriotism at my school, and oh yeah, eighth period I heard a gun go off and saw a freshman I know get cuffed and taken away in a paddy wagon. Like I said, rather uneventful.

Now I know you're all so interested in hearing about the last statement, but I'd rather ramble on about the others first. I have so much homework to do, you'd think I missed a week of school, not just one measley Friday. No such luck.

We took a test over Hemingway and A Farewell to Arms today in my AP English class, and we starrted reading one of my *rolls eyes* favorite books, The Sound and the Fury, *gag* I didn't like that book when I read it the first time, why am I being subjected to this punishment. When she noted we should all be happy we're finishing Hemingway, I suggested we do a little more of his work and save Faulkner for June (when I'll be graduated). Ah well. So far I've only read to page 11, but I seem to understand a lot more having read it and the cliff notes once already, though I only remember a little bit about it, and very little of the actual plot. Next we read another of my OH SO BELOVED books from last year, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, if I had known I'd have to re-read the worst books I read last year as independent's, I wouldn't have subjected myself to that last year. But ah las, I shall be an expert on them soon. Seeing as I've never been one for re-reading books. I suppose it's good I barely understood them last year. :)

My progress report was horrible. My photography teacher didn't even give me a grade, she just signed it, that was all. I wasn't there Friday to turn in my project so I have no grade in there. Whatever. Better than the F she gave 90% of the people, only 7 people have turned in projects, me being one of them, and I was the only one who really had a good reason not to have it in Friday - I wasn't there. Ah well. In Physics I currently have a 79% thanks in large part to the Lab I missed on Friday, the vocabulary I didn't turn in Friday, and the 40% I got on my test (see below). Yep. I'm screwed. I need straight A's. Nothing else will do. But I suppose having someone write C on my progress report is a kick in the ass to get myself in gear (not that I'm not already!) but more in gear. On the bright side, I did get an A in my 3 hardest courses: AP Eng, AP Calc, and Hnr US/Wrld History; see it goes back to my theory of I get bored when I have nothing to do and so I do badly. I also got comments: 1,2,3,4 from my Physics, English, and History teacher.. and my history teacher told me I should study more, he was joking of course, I have like a 99% in that class. lol. I am the only person to get an A all year in there. Sad when you consider there are almost 40 students.

And I have to r e-do my physics test, apparently the entire class failed, I got one of the higher grades: 40%. That's what he gets for just deciding hey I think it's time for a test whenever he feels like it. So yeah. I get to re-do it, but it doesn't much help I still don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I hate Physics. So yeah.

And now the moment you've all been waiting for. What happened? Well. I didn't actually see it happen, I just saw the kid being cuffed, and the gun being confiscated, and the kid being taken to the paddy wagon. This Freshman, Lorenzo, brought a gun to school today, and for whatever reason, again I don't quite know and it hasn't been long enough for the rumors and such to circulate *;)*, but it was in the hall just outside of my 8th period class. We heard a gun shot. Apparently he dropped it and it went off. No one was hurt. This kid, Matt, in my physics class looked outside the window and was like "SOMEONE GOT SHOT" I didn't believe him. No one got shot the bullet didn't hit anything/one. Thankfully. HOWEVER. I was too close to the spot of someone caring a weapon in my school to be comfortable with that idea. It's freaky thinking what if he had dropped it while people were in the halls during a class change. You know. And even more, why did he have it to begin with?! Don't get the wrong impression of my school, this isn't the type of thing that happens on a normal basis, sure kids get expelled a lot for drugs or knives or stupid things, but I've never known anyone to bring a gun, well atleast not get caught to my knowledge, not in my 4 years here. But yeah. It's scary. You know?

(speak up)

18th February 2003

2:40pm: Snow Day?! :)
So.. I got today off also for a snow day. Making my weekend offically 5 days long!

Though, it hasn't really snowed much since yesterday, however, we got a bunch yesterday morning. It was so much that my parents refused to drive me the 3 hours to visit Bowling Green. :-/ But it wasn't as much as a lot of places, just about 12-14 inches. (sorry I don't do metric conversions very well, but I think that's about like 31 cm or something). Fun fun.

I figured they weren't going to give us a snow day today. I stayed up last night after watching Joe Millionaire (*s* I was rooting for Zora!), and watched the news on all three major local stations trying to catch the weather and see if my school was for some weird reason on the list of the closed systems. It wasn't. So I went to bed at about 11:30ish figuring I'd have school tomorrow. Then I woke up this morning and looked at my clock and it said 7:30. I was about to throw a fit that they'd let me sleep so late (I have to be at school at about 7:45), when the thought crossed my mind that maybe I didn't have school and they were letting me sleep.. SO.. I flipped on Ch. 3 News and low and behold AKRON PUBLIC SCHOOLS came up as closed.

This suprised me very much. When you consider my school system has a very strict snow day policy, we usually don't get off ever, and almost never on days when we really SHOULD be off. We're the one district open when every other school in a four district radius is closed. But today almost all the other systems were open and WE were closed. It was nice. I think they were making up for yesterday when everything was closed, even the Universities, WHICH NEVER CLOSE, and we already had the day off. That's my theory. I mean compared to their usually extremely harsh standards today was fine weather for school, except maybe streets like mine weren't plowed, but then, mine is never plowed. lol. Whatever the reason. I'm not complaining. As long as we don't get more than 5 days off I'm happy as can be. But after that it pushes back the end of my senior year, and that isn't cool. lol.

Anyway. I was too tired to stay up and study for my English test last night, so I fell asleep with the notebook in my lap. I guess I lucked out. lol. I would have been cramming as much as I could about Hemingway into my brain on the way to school. Now I can try and study tonight. Like that'll happen. :-D I am such the studious student. I don't know how I do so well in school. I absolutely despise studying. lol. Doing homework is fine, I love writing assignments, reports, papers, etc. and I don't mind doing math and physics problems as long as I have the proper notes & knowledge. But to study. I hate studying. lol. I do it, but I hate it.

Anyway. Fermin just came in here and got rude with me. He said, "You should try and get a job at Steak 'N Shake."
I replied, "No, that's alright."
"Why not?" He asked.
"Because I don't want to work in fast food."
He said, in an offended voice, "It's not fast food!"
"Um, yes, it is." I said, "Besides it's not like I want a job."
So he went on about how Steak 'N Shake isn't fast food because they serve you inside too and crap. Too which I replied that it was fast food, and I consider it fast food, and besides that I don't want to work in ANY food period. Yeah.
So then he tried to insult me by saying, "Well, i mean, you're 17."
I looked at him (up from my typing, I had previously been basically ignoring the conversation) and said "When I finish High School I will get a job. As of now I have many activities after and before school, among which is softball. Oh and not to mention I am taking all AP and Honors classes and getting A's in them. SOME OF US don't have the luxury of sleeping in until noon and taking one course twice a week for 3 hours. SOME OF US don't have records and could work in retail if we wished. So back off."
I know that last part offended him, but damn, people!, I wish people who have no business bugging me about stuff I have already made my decisions on would leave me alone. If I wanted a job I would go out and get one. I don't want to flip burgers, maybe that's the idea some people have of a job, and you know what, merry fucking christmas to them, but I don't want to, and maybe at some point I will desire to have a job and not be able to find one doing anything but that, and then maybe I will lower my expectations, but for now, I do not need, want, or have time for a job. And I am not willing to give up my commitments to make minimum wage working with a bunch of stupid assholes (for example, Fermin) at some FAST FOOD restraunt. Thanks, but no thanks.

GAH. Sorry. I was annoyed by that.
Current Mood: bothered
Current Music: I Love Rock 'n Roll

(speak up)

16th February 2003

12:50pm: oh wow
. . . It's been like a long time since I posted here. I'm so sorry to all my friends I've just been so busy.

Anyway. How has everyone been? Good I hope. Busy? I hope not. That is my job. lol. Friday, V-Day, I spent the day at Kent State University competing for a scholarship. Well not a scholarship. I was a semi-finalist for the founders scholars program. The exam I took Friday is one of many factors going into who gets what scholarships. I am hoping I did at the least decent on it, but I know I did pretty bad.

It was more like an IQ test, well two different IQ tests. With questions like "Some Russians want to conquer the world. All Russians want to improve their quality of life." And then you had to decide if you could reasonably draw the conclusions they gave you from that statement. Stupid thing like could you draw the conclusion that "Some people who want to rule the world also want to improve their quality of life.".. Blah. But that was just 1/5 of that test. There were other topics. And then the second test was almost as bad, maybe worse, it was all pictures and you had to find the stupid patterns. The thing with both of them was the time was so severly limited that you were screwed if you didn't see the pattern or answer right off the bat! For the pictures you had to go through like 15 sets in like 4 minutes, but you had to do a total of 4 of those 4 minute segments. And the first test with the long winded questions you had 40 minutes to read the instructions, read the statements, read the answers and answer them.. BUT.. there were 80 questions. lol. I know I did horrible. But I was talking w/one of the Journalism professors who said that the essay is also factored in and that by far Journalism students do the best on that portion because they're more word oriented and can write better with limited space (250 words) than the largest group of competetiors, go figure, the Pre-Med's. So yeah. WHATEVER.

I will find out about that in Mid-March.

Tomorrow I visit Bowling Green. See how busy I am?! lol. I missed voting for "Manhood" and "Womanhood" for my senior class on Friday. It's a stupid popularity contest but I swear to GOD if my classmates nominated the girl they nominated for most respected for it I will probably go insane. I mean, more power to her for having a baby when she was in 10th grade, but as far as I'm concerned that type of behavior doesn't earn you MOST RESPECTED in my book! Yeah. Anyway.

I am tired. lol. I need to do my homework. I know I have tons of it. I have an English Test coming Tuesday, and a History Test Wednesday and Thursday. And I have to re-do my physics test because my teacher just decided to spring it on us one day and everyone in the class scored below 70% (that is everyone got a D or F).. including the only person who understands physics. I hate that class. I really do.

Apparently on Friday I missed an interesting discussion in history where the teacher made some comment or joke that I am the only one who would understand, and no one laughed, and so someone said it was "Because Meranda isn't here." lol. It was probably about the level of maturity in that class. Which I am always bitching about to Mr. Rusinek. Interesting. Bobby couldn't remember the comment though just that it happened, he is a dork he pays so little attention in that class and then wonders why he gets B's and C's. Atleast he took good notes for me to copy. :) He only took them so I couldn copy them, wasn't that nice?.. :) Bobby. *sigh* He is a dork, indefinately, but for some reason I feel drawn to him, but he doesn't know that and if you tell anyone I'll have to kill you. *S* lol.

OK, enough babble. I promise to make a bigger effort to update here more often! :) Have a nice Monday off (assuming you're lucky like me and get it off). .:)

(4 spoke up | speak up)

26th January 2003

11:40am: a sight for sore eyes
Friday was a sad day. I had the opportunity to watch the transportation company from North Hill (my "part" of the city) leave. You see. Their base is right next door to my high school. My principal let the classes who wanted to, go out and see them off. They've been called to active duty.

It was strange. Watching boys and girls who are a few years older than me go off to fight for a cause they quite possibly disagree with. I wouldn't cry. I couldn't. It was one of those emotional times that are too emotional that you're more in shock than anything else. Jenelle was crying. She didn't know anyone leaving, but the sight of it all made her sad. I know one boy in the company. I guess in a round about way he is my relative. He is the son of my former softball coach. My coach was there actually, and his wife and daughter.. and most of his family. My sister is married to the nephew (Frank) of my old coach, making Tommy Frank's cousin, which makes him related to me. Besides that, it was really sad seeing this kid who grew up WITH me on the softball diamond, leave for a possible war.

They'll be gone for atleast one year. A whole year away! They don't even know WHERE they are set to go, they're going to Kentucky for 3 weeks of training, then shipping out.. but to where?! It's crazy. I never really gave it much thought, you know. It seemed so remote, the possibility of war, until it was literally right in my backyard. Frank is also in transportation in the National Guard, however his unit is set to do a Humanitarian mission this spring so they'll most likely not be called or at least be the last people called. I can't imagine what type of shape Brandi would be in if it was Frank leaving.

Seeing the trucks line up on the street was an awespiring experience. To think that those trunks, ten feet away from me, will soon be overseas in battle. That the kids driving them are willing to risk their lives to "preserve my freedom." It definately left me a bit confused.

I could never join any part of the armed forces. This only further proved that. I couldn't leave my homeland behind to fight for something I don't believe should be fought. Bush is pushing too hard, too far.. he's only going to start a war that will get many killed and will prove nothing except his own ignorance and war-happiness. Gah!

It was so sad. *sigh* I hope that we don't go to war. I hope that this company is just being called as precaution. I hope. I hope!
Current Mood: melancholy

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19th January 2003

11:43pm: boredom sets in
Really.. I should be sleeping.. I have to be up early to go to this event with Crayola in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. But I'm not sleepy. I am but I'm not. Rather than lie around for 4 hours I figure I'll be bored here, with all you fine people. ;)

Seven things that scare you.
1) the future
2) how i'm gonna fund college
3) anything with more than 4 legs!! (ie. bugs and spiders)
4) PETA activists who video tape & show animals being anally electrocuted (don't ask)
5) possibility of ending up all alone with lots of dogs when i'm older (I don't like cats)
6) having to go upstairs in my house when the lights off and it's dark in the hall closet
7) bloody mary..

Seven things you love (in no order)
1) writing
2) photography
3) webdesign
4) learning about science - i actually hate doing labs + dissecting things
5) the smell, sound, and feel of a rain storm
6) frogs
7) my dog marilyn

Seven things you hate
1) um.. Fermin
2) Sam, except when Fermin annoys me more
3) The members of my softball team
4) That I will not be valedictorian by .05!
5) Pizza and Fried Chicken
6) The fact that it can be -10(F), -30(F) w/windchill, snowing like crazy, a foot on the ground, and more expected.. and we will NOT get a snow day from my school
7) Stupid people

Seven things in your [dorm] room
1) 3 shelves full of frogs
2) a bunch of inspirational quotes all over the place
3) two different desks
4) 2 lamps: blue lava lamp, and lamp w/cloud bulb
5) clouds on the walls
6) clothes, magazines, my life, on the floor.. hehe.. i should clean.. it's usually not messy, just lately
7) two computers (laptop and desktop)

Seven things to do before death
1) Visit Rome & Greece, Pyramids of Egypt & China's Great Wall, Mt. Rushmore & Grand Canyon.. um yeah
2) Write an article or work as photographer on one, for National Geographic
3) Lose weight
4) Make a million dollars
5) Volunteer at an animal shelter
6) Lose my virginity (Ok, I am only 17 so this isn't pathetic or anything, it's smart! ;)
7) Travel to a 3rd world country

Seven things you can do
1) Take Photographs
2) Webdesign
3) Write interesting prose
4) Think of things on the top of my head (spontaneously)
5) Speak in public
6) Play first base in softball(!)
7) Get along w/all animals

Seven things you can't do
1) AP Physics (don't ask how I managed an A in there.. it's as suprising to me as it is to you)
2) Tune my violin without a tuner or at the very least a piano to listen to tune to
3) Pretend to like someone/thing when I don't
4) Rely on other people
5) Become a scientist - well i could, but i never would
6) Drink Coke without gagging
7) Eat pizza or fried chicken.. it's so disgusting.. I take a bite and my stomach immediately hurts from all that yucky grease!

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex
1) Sense of Humor
2) Kindness to animals
3) Being open-minded
4) Romantic side
5) A little bit of a dork.. ;)
6) Not afraid to just BE THEMSELF
7) Eyes that you can get lost in

Top seven movies (in no order)
1) Beaches
2) Remember the Titans
3) A Beautiful Mind
4) The Sound of Music
5) Mary Poppins
6) The Lion King
7) Little Women

Top seven things you say most
1) DORK!
2) Like
3) UM
4) Shut Up
5) *smiles*
6) no
7) hehe

3 years ago I....
1) was a freshman in HS who hated school
2) best friends w/Michelle
3) auditioned for the school play and embarassed myself beyond belief
4) bought typical.net
5) played JV softball at SECOND base

2 years ago...
1) I got straight A's for first time since 7th grade
2) Killing myself going between Crayola, Drama Club, and Softball at the same time
3) Starting varsity first base(woman).. :^)
4) Started Crayon-box
5) went to the summer honors institute for gifted students

1 year ago I...
1) thought I was going to die between AP Bio and AP Euro
2) watched one of my best friends have a baby at 16
3) quit the school orchestra to take AP Euro
4) bought my first nice SLR camera
5) badly sprained my ankle trying to *break my brother's skateboard*, and resprained it walking down a busy street and almost fell into traffic

yesterday I
1) ate some girl scout cookies for the first time in like 4 years
2) slept until noon
3) talked to Bobby
4) read the book "The Lovely Bones"
5) picked up my senior pictures

today I..
1) Took some random shots with my digital camera
2) Watched "The Perfect Storm"
3) Ate a subway sub for the first time in awhile
4) Went to Borders w/Brandi and Frank, and *didn't spend money*
5) Calculated what my GPA will be at the end of next semester compared to the #1 girl now.. and i will lose #1 by .05!! -dies- Life sucks!

5 songs i know all the words to
1) I will Survive
2) All Star
3) C'est la vie
4) Bitch
5) I Hope You Dance

5 things I would buy with 100,000
1) my college education
2) a vw beetle convertible
3) a brand spankin new computer with like 1000GB lol or something outrageous
4) as much land as I could in the rainforest to protect
5) a trip for my mother to her birthplace in La Chapelle France - which she hasn't been to since she was 9 and came to America


YEAH. ok. maybe it's bed time now. that took me like an hour. lol. toodles.

(3 spoke up | speak up)

12:07am: wow!
I just found this site that I haven't looked at in like 4-5 years, at least. lol. It was a stupid little smiley adoption thing I came up with a long long long time ago. Wow. Here. Interesting, isn't it? How you can come across something you poured your heart into a long time ago, but had completely forgotten about. I used to have a site called "HTML for the common Human".. It was my first real "site" by definition, instead of just a bunnch of facts about me and hotlinked images. I was about 11ish. It's floating around here. Wow. Interesting old pages. BTW.. none of the links work and half of the images, no i think every image, is broken.. but you get the gist. BTW.. the counter got up to about 3,000 and then started over again.. I never bothered fixing it because I was working on a new site by then.. which I have the URL of.. Smiles8b's Homepage.. hehe..

Unlike some people who become good webdesigners and can't admit that they were beginners once, I am PROUD of my sites. I still think my Smiles8b site is adorable. So whatever. Even if it has loud backgrounds, obnoxious background sounds, and a bunch of useless content. It was me for like 2 years and I enjoyed EVERY second of it. so :-P to all you stuck-up, pretenious people .. lol..

Sorry. Isn't it cute though? *browses through old sites* hehe

(speak up)

18th January 2003

6:32pm: eek, it's been.. awhile
Um. like 11 days is a long time not to post, huh?.. Sorry you guys. I got caught up in other things. Like the new layout at my domain, which isn't as great as it could have been but I wanted something new up. I actually need more content, but whatever :)

I picked up my senior pictures yesterday. You know you are all dieing to see them.. hehe.. So I am posting them for you guys.. I ain't the prettiest thing, but I could be a lot uglier.. lol.. ;)
Here they are scaled down,
&
. . . . . . . . . but click here to see full size )

Hehe. Not much has been happening with me lately. The same old bull, another day. I did applications for like 10 scholarships this week, wrote essays and crap. I just need to get some reccomendations, a few copies of my transcript, and some stamps, then I'm set to send away and possibly get some $$ for college. I need to fill out my FAFSA, but I need my parents information, my mom is like "I need my statement from the bank which I won't get until Jan 31", and I just ask her, how can millions of people fill theirs out during the month of January then? She doesn't know. So, she keeps putting it off. I told her we can estimate and change it if nessacary later. Whatever. Then there is my father, who insists on sitting his ass in front of the computer 10 hours a day, the ten hours I am awake or home or not doing something else inevitable. And what does he do? He plays poker on here. That man has serious gambling issues. I asked him today how much he spent this week on it, he said.. $50 twice this week. I was like how much did you win, he said.. nothing. So I asked him why he doesn't play at a free poker site, he said.. because you can't win money on them. So I blurted out.. WELL OBVIOUSLY YOU AREN'T WINNING MUCH MONEY IF YOU'VE SPENT $100 THIS WEEK ALONE.. Gah. He's spent like $1,000+ this month on that stupid game. I'm like, dude you could buy me a used car with that, or a new computer, or do something like feed a starving family for a few months! Instead, he sits here and plays poker. God!

Ok, enough ranting. I'm going to try and make it around to everyone's journal and comment as much as I can. Sorry about my absence, but my father is a bum and he's always on anymore. ::shrug::

(10 spoke up | speak up)

7th January 2003

5:43pm: Long Days, Little Sleep, Sore Throat, Feeling.. out.. of.. it..
As the title sums up I am feeling a bit out of it, which is why I haven't updated recently. I've been so extremely busy preparing for my presentation tomorrow. It's a group presentation, for my history class, with 8 members in my group. I am the person who does everything to make sure it's done right and not being in control of every single aspect makes me crazy. It's all I could do not to straight out say: "We're doing it this way." Though, I managed to be nominated by the other members the group leader so I kind of had a say in what direction we took. After all, I'd rather do it all myself and get a good grade than rely on someone else to pull through when who knows if they will.

So my presentation is on the 1930s. I chose power point as an effective medium because we can use the school's projector in the classroom and everyone will be able to see the pictures and words. I did the basics of it, I did atleast one slide for every section of the presentation (we split them all up so that everyone did one section). I did an entire time line of significant events, and I did the entire Fashion and Music presentation (a few slides each). I did my section (ideologies and trends in society - basically I did a few slides comparing what was popular then to now). It is just frustrating not knowing if the other people will come prepared with decent supplements to the power point presentation. The sports, media, and significant events all have separate parts to add to the presentation. I am hoping it works out as planned because I have not seen any of these parts.

Today the first group went, they did the 1920s. I feel better about our presentation having seen them go. Ours is better as long as people stay on task. And don't say "like" and "um," and make eye contact instead of looking at the board as they read, like today's group did. It's just frustrating not being able to just go up there and do it all myself and make sure it gets done right. I am not a good team player because I don't trust anyone else enough with my grade to let them do their thing. In the past I've done that and been screwed because of it. Besides.. isnt the saying, if you want it done right, do it yourself.

My fear is that my sore throat will get worse and I won't be able to talk tomorrow. It hurts now and has all day. I would be upset after all my hard work. Oh well. I've stayed up late the few nights (1:30 AM late when I wake up at 5:30-6:00AM), and I am running on empty right about now. I did my AP Calc HW, AP Physics Lab, at school so I could devote tonight to finishing my project. Luckily we're just reviewing Death of A Salesman in AP Eng because I'm too tired to read 50 pages of boring BS tonight. lol. Oh well. I wrote an introduction for our presentation that my group is collectively reading, I figure I'll share it with you.. so In the 1930s ) And yeah, wish me luck. By 2:21 tomorrow, this will all be over. lol.
Current Mood: tired

(5 spoke up | speak up)

1st January 2003

9:40pm: Hmm. :)


which stereotype are you?


Not too far off. When they did class president elections I pretty much shocked EVERYONE by NOT running. I had atleast 50 other students in my class come up to me and directly ask why I wasn't runnning. I think everyone pretty much just assumed I would. I guess it would make sense, and looking back I probably would have if I'd have realized before how many other people thought I'd make a good president. But now, I am wondering how on Earth I'd have had the time. Our president now isn't the best, she was the popularity candidate who only won because of that.. I would have stood a fighting chance against her and probably would have won or atleast been vice, but you know what, I decided against that route and I'm pretty glad I did so. I'd be killing myself worrying about it now. :) lol. Oh well.

(1 spoke up | speak up)

30th December 2002

11:54pm: a quote to live by :)
Live all you can; it's a mistake not to. It doesn't much
matter what you do in particular, so long as you have had
your life. If you haven't had that, what have you had?

--Henry James, American writer

(2 spoke up | speak up)

25th December 2002

10:50pm: hmm
Now, I don't know if I should feel bad.. Michelle signed on and said merry christmas. So I said merry christmas back. I asked how hers was.. and she said.. it sucked. She asked me about mine, I said, it was "awesome, actually." So then I asked why hers sucked? [natural response from a friend, right?!].. She just said "'cus". I was like, did you get anything good? I know your parents spoil you (or something to that extent - which is true this is the girl who gets every thing she wants when she wants it!). She was like "I didn't get anything." I was like how is that? She was like "boxers".. and I was like.. what did you get then, money?.. And then she signed off..

I don't know if I made her upset and she got mad and signed off, or if she had to get off, but I'm afraid to call her house because it's 11pm. *sigh* I hope I didn't make her upset. She's too senstive. I'm positive she got something, atleast money, she has 8 siblings and everyone of them is grown, she's the baby so her mother spoils her rotten. But who knows? Maybe her grandma got her a thong again (*g* that is what her grandma got her for her birthday, it was funny, she opened it up and was like.. OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE.. lol..).. ;) *shrug*

Anyway. I can't seem to figure out my voice mail. :( And I need to find out if text messaging is free.. The only person I called on my phone was my brother.. because I spent most of my day at my Grandmas. I'm a loser anyway. ::shrug:: But anyway. I waited until 9 PM to call him so it would be free.. *nods@intelligence*.. free nights (9pm-6am) and weekends.. <~~ which means on weekends I'll sign online using it on my laptop and go to like a park or borders or somewhere fun where I can look all decked out with my Dell laptop and my motorola phone and I can pretend that I am special and that millions of other people don't have the same stuff I do.. lol.. no really.. I swear everytime i go to the cafe at borders there are like 10 people with laptops.. it's like.. dude! this is a book store.. oh well.. speaking of which.. I think I will go buy the book "the lovely bones"..

I recieved a grand total of $115 for christmas. :) Not too bad when you add to it all the great presents. I am going to look into buying a new comp desk for my bedroom. The one I have now I got when I was like 11 and it isn't a computer desk, so the keyboard and monitor take up all the desk space and I can't do any work there. And plus I need room on the desk to use my laptop there instead of on my bed.. lol.. when I am feeling non-lazy that is.. ;)

Anyway. I'm pretty tired. My brother woke me up at 7:30 and my mother kept me up until 12:30 so I'm pretty tired. My finger still hurts, but it's getting better, I guess.. it's almost definately going to scar on my middle finger, which is also still a little swollen.

I am hunrgy. I had prime rib for dinner at my grandma's and I ate so much (she made her special rice and potatoes too.. it was very yum) I was really full.. but that was 4pm. ::shrug:: I should just go to bed and not eat but that was the only thing I ate all day.. lol.. Okie.. TTYL..

I'll try to get around to all my friend's blurties and read & comment, I haven't in a few days.. ::slacks::

Merry Christmas.. one last time until 2003!

(speak up)

12:34pm: White Christmas
I forgot to mention that it snowed here last night. I was afraid we wouldn't have any snow because there was literally none last night when I went to bed and now everything is covered. Of course I took pictures from my front porch.. hehe.. in my bare feet.. hehe.. :)

Front Yard Front Yard
Front/Side Yard Front/Side Yard
Side Yard Side Yard

Fun fun.. lol.. My dog went out there and the snow was above her knees (and she's a yellow lab so that's fairly high).. :)

Let it snow.. Let it snow.. Let it snow.. ;)
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Silent Night - Jewel :)

(4 spoke up | speak up)

11:57am: MERRY CHRISTMAS! SANTA CAME HEHE..
Well.. Even though I got my laptop which is my christmas/graduation present like two months ago, I got tons of nice stuff today too. I got a brand new scanner, the one I had doesn't work on this computer because it has no XP driver (I've had it for-practically-ever). I also got some cute colored CD-R's with cases because *cough* I had a ton until Sam and Fermin started using them all.. and they're not cheap, but they're so cute.. So my mom bought them both their own pack of 50 CD-R's but they're not cute.. lol.. I got two pairs of cute jeans, the ones I totally LOVE, and this sweater I've been wanting since last year(!), plus some cute shirts. I also got a cell phone. My parents got me and my brother Sam both the same cell phone (they got a deal where the plan's minutes are split between the phones). I'm going to buy a blue cover for mine. I went in on his and you know how you can customize the welcome greetings on phones? I put "Sam Lastname [isadork]" and he still hasn't figured out how to change it.. lol.. my just says *Hola Dorkette* and then my name.. hehe.. :) I'm weird. Actually my brother opened up his phone before I mine and I was freaking out upset because they got HIM a cell phone and he is two years younger and much less responsible. I was like, this is so not fair, I want one for graduation.. no nevermind.. valentines day.. no i mean Martin Luther King Jr Day.. no forget that.. NEW YEARS!.. lol.. My mom said I was hilarious.. lol.. But then my dad handed me a box and it had a cell phone for me in it.. :) SOOO.. I was very happy ;)

Anyway. I'm going to my Grandparent's house this afternoon. Should be fun.

Anyway. I made a gift (which is pretty big so you'll have to click to see) for everyone. It's a little graphic. the photo is one I took of my great uncle's farm on Thanksgiving this year.. so pretty!~ Merry Christmas )

Well.. Gotta get ready. Everyone have a very merry Christmas! :-D I know I will! (and AM!) lol

(3 spoke up | speak up)

24th December 2002

11:59am: Merry Christmas to all..
'Twas the day before Christmas and all through my home
Not a person was smiling, we were all quite annoyed
The nephews had run through like hurricane andrew
Tearing opening presents and eatting all the food
And I at my 'puter was tired as could be
Having been up half the night wrapping!
When what to my wondering eyes would appear
But a bottle of rum and a two kegs of beer!
Suddenly my expression changed for the better
And I shouted Merry Christmas to all and to all a good year...

ERM.. that's really bad.. i'm bored.. my finger hurts.. I don't drink anyway ;) my nephews are, however, tearing my house up, because they're mother (my sister) is too busy to come by tomorrow or even tonight so we had to give them their presents today. And I had to wrap and tie ribbon and bows on everything without the use of two of the my fingers.. it wasn't very easy.. anyway..

Anyway. I fixed the colors on this. I don't know wtf happened. I also created a LJ by finding someone nice enough to give me a code. Right now I am thinking I'll probably just post the same thing on both. But eventually I'll just post my writing there and my rants and such here.. :) lol.

'nuff babble from me :) I'm going to play word whomp on pogo.com.. I LOVE THAT GAME.. hehe..
Current Mood: sore

(1 spoke up | speak up)

12:26am: ouch..?!
Anyway. I love dogs. Today was the first time in my 17 years that one has bitten me. It was right on my middle and index finger of my left hand. This makes it nearly impossible to type since i can't bend the fingers they're swollen. It was my "biological father"s dog, Sassy. I didn't freak out or anything. I stayed completely calm. I even resisted my natural instinct to pull away from the dog while my hand was in her mouth, of course I know that is the worst thing to do because you end up tearing the whole hand. Anyway. I didn't want to ruin the whole day so I down played it like it didn't even hurt. Stuck a bandaid on it and went about my way. But man. It was burning and stuff. And it was really swollen - is still swollen but not as much. I didn't want to freak my parents out or make them pay a hospital bill for the emergeny room since it was 5:00 and after my normal physicians hours. So anyway. The dog has had it's shots and stuff.. The only thing I'm worried about is.. I had blood drawn today for my surgery on Friday.. and they said they needed to know of any changes in health between then and now.. and I wonder if this qualifies.. since they were going to put the IV in that hand? Might not be smart if I have a bunch of bruises on it? My mother is going to call my doctor tomorrow and ask him if I need to come in and see him for like a Tetnis(sp?) shot and my surgeon's office too about how this will affect my surgery. Yeah. All this on the eve of Christmas Eve.. It sucks mostly because I can't type. lol. And I'll be made if they have to postpone my surgery! The longer I wait the longer it is until the pain goes away and the longer it will be before I can start up softball this year.

Speaking of softball.. I'm seriously considering not playing. Which is sad, I love it, but I HATE the girls on the team. I can't think of one girl on there that I'm friends with, but I can think of atleast 10 I can hardly be civil with. Namely Chelsea, Annie, and Jenna.. but also Cathy sometimes. I have my reasons. Among them the fact that all of them have this belief that they're superior players above the rest of the squad for whatever reason. When in reality, Jenna pitches slow, Chelsea pitches wild, Annie couldn't stop a ball as catcher if her life depended on it, and she's too short to catch any above the strike zone, and Cathy can't even throw a ball the short distance between third and first. BUT EVERYONE OF THEM thinks they're the MVP. Screw that. I play first and I must save 10 errors a game atleast from people like them, making them look better without all the errors they deserve. Gah. So I was thinking of getting a job instead. Or maybe throwing discus for track. I don't know. Ms. Stewart is the new softball coach which at first I thought was good, now I don't think so, I like her and all, she's one of my favorite teachers at North, but she's just so not what I want in a coach. ::shrug::

Anyway. Enough Babble. Happy Holidays. I prolly won't be on here tomorrow (er today) maybe I will, but typing lots is hard on my fingers. lol. :)

(speak up)

20th December 2002

11:41pm: well since..
Well.. Next Friday I am scheduled to have surgery again. It's nothing like super serious or anything. I have an Epidermal Cyst - warning unless you are a doctor you probably won't understand that page.. i mean.. I had to look up like 4 of the words..! Anyway it's on my tail bone.. I had it removed in April because it was adversely affecting my softball playing, which ended up screwing me over because after that my coaches never believed me when I said I was FINE to play cuz I hadn't said anything to them until I told them when I was having surgery.. hehe.. :-P And one of the JV coaches had the same surgery done the year before and said she was in pain for like a month and it came back.. and for awhile I thought it went away for good, but then it started forming again (I thought it was scar tissue) until it started hurting.. The first time I got it done by my primary physician in his office (at a hospital) but this time after the antibotics he referred me to the general surgeon.. which means much more of a hassle.. and my mom said they have to do like blood work on Monday morning because they have to put me under anesthesia and that they're going to put an IV IN ME!!!!!!! *passes out* Anyway.. I suppose that's good because I have a really high drug tolerence (um.. not for any particular reason.. I am the epitome of GOOD CHILD) and the first time I could feel most of it and it hurt.. but I also have a really high tolerence for pain so it balances out I guess...

Anyway. I was just trying to look up info on it tonight and thought maybe I should post about it.

(7 spoke up | speak up)

8:28pm: What I Sleep In..

What Do You Wear to Bed?

Brought to you by Faytrial

::interesting:: ;)

(1 spoke up | speak up)

8:10pm: weakest link.. hehe.. :)
Some "simple" questions.. hehe.. :) (as forwarded to me by my little cousin).. entertaining.. kind of? :)

#1) You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
answer #1 )

#2) If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
answer #2 )

#3) [Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.]
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
answer #3 )

#4) Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
answer #4 )
Current Mood: blah

(speak up)

18th December 2002

11:28pm: tra la la
Well, the orchestra wasn't as bad as they could of been, though someone was playing pretty sharp.. probably because our autitorium is really warm and the music room is freezing.. so their instrument probably just got a little out of tune between them.. -s-.. whatever.. though the band had a few.. erm.. obvious mistakes.. but oh well.. it was decent :)

I am working on a list of "things I learned in high school" for a section for our school newspaper after the semester change.. I'm going to write the first article and my own list, and then each issue take one or two senior students lists, or possibly just get one from about 10 per issue until the end of the year.. depending on how this turns out and the response. :) I'm posting my list so far..

What I Really Learned During High School )

interesting.. lol.. :) Ok.. bed time.. oh i need to do my spacial poem.. crud.. atleast I finish my 50 pages of reading for AP Eng.. gah.. Death of a Salesman.. Arthur Miller.. it's all a blur.. whatever..
Current Mood: so-so

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