| Do you think of me like I dream of you? |
[25 Sep 2008|03:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
so confused, scared, lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Do You Love Me Now?, The Breeders |
] |
Dear J,
I can't help but worry if this is ever going to work out the way we planned. I miss you every second of the day and all I can think about is, "what if I lose you?." You went out last night and I feel sick about it. I'm trying to tell myself you've met someone. Because if you have I want to be ready. You feel for me the same way. I know you do; you've told me. It's just that I'm so goddamn far away. And we're both so physically lonely.
I have a confession to make. Remember I told you about the friend of mine that took me to Islands in April? We made out in his car and I refused to let things go any further. We talked the other day and it came out that, if we ever saw one another again, we don't know what would happen. Things might go further. I even said I'd LET them.
I was thinking about sleeping with him.
But then I thought of you.
And I want to tell him no. I want to SCREAM it at him. I want to tell him I'm sorry for misleading him. I want to tell you I'm sorry for even thinking about it.
I hope you can do the same thing for me, if something ever surfaces.
It hasn't been long enough for me to tell you that I love you. I can't say that yet. But I can say you are the person I want to love. And you are the closest thing to it I've ever felt in almost no time at all.
No one else can do this to me.
Just you.
K
|
|