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[17 Jan 2008|10:31pm] |
Dear RJ:
I hate you.
I wish I could put it into softer words, but I'm no longer willing to lie to myself.
I. Fucking. Hate. You.
My dad's been considering leaving. Indirectly because of you, and how you changed me. I'm sure it's not entirely your fault, It's partially my fault of course, for being naive enough to let you break me the way you did, but I cant seem to hate myself the way I hate you. Infact, if anything, I like myself more for making it through it. Letting you tear away all that was good in my life. Letting you make me believe that that was how I was supposed to be treated.
Every guy that came after you, was the same. Cold, emotionally abusive. Addicted to one thing or another. They even had the same taste in clothes, music, and each had spectacular eyes, eyes that reminded me of you. I let them use me too. I let you use me for months after you took me and then disappeared.
But then...I met Mike.
Mike loves me. He calls me when he says he's going to. He gets jealous when I talk to other guys. He makes time for me every day not just every week He calles me Babe and kisses me on the forehead. he makes sure I eat enough, and makes sure I wont be cold when we go out. He picks on me playfully, but yells at anyone else who tries to do the same. We argue. Because I'm not afraid to tell him when he does something I don't agree with. I've cried once, but not because of something he'd done. But because of something I'd done to disappoint him.
Mike is everything you are not.
And I just wanted you to know, I'm very happy. I'm finally very, very happy.
And I just wanted to say, you fucking missed out ass hole.
It could have been you. You could have had me and you lost you're chance.
And You have no idea, how much I would love to send you this letter.
And I would too, If I didn't already know you'll be too high to read it by the time it gets to you.
Hope you don't die of an overdose.
tootles!
Miss Alixandra
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