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[25 Apr 2008|06:51pm] |
Pat.
Okay first of all i havent spoke to you over the phone in alittle over a year and out of the blue you call me last night. You tell me that you and your girlfriend of 4 months, just got engaged...WHAT!? I mean it kind of felt like you were bragging about it. I know if joe proposed to me, i wouldnt be calling up my ex boyfriend. I just find that a little to weird. Some of my friends are saying that you did that because you still have feelings for me and that you wish it was me. I mean i know since we've broke up more than 2 years ago you've confessed your "undying" love for me many of times including while i've been in this almost 2 year relationship with Joe. But i mean im jealous...I wish i was getting proposed too. Just why make me feel like shit about it!? Im glad your finally happy, just next time you call me, call to see how things are going, dont call to brag about your accomplishments and not even bother to ask me hows life.
-Sam
Dear my boyfriends ex girlfriend.
How more fucking easy can you fucking get! What did i tell you bitch dont fuck with me, karma, what goes around comes around...And now your pregnant....And your giving the poor child up for adoption.
If you cant handle the responsibilities of having sex...DONT DO IT...Oh but i forgot your so ugly and stupid that you have to fuck every guy you meet to like you. And your not even with the guy who got you pregnant..you said you dont even find him attractive, yet you fuck him!? the poor guy your getting his hopes up for nothing, your giving away his child...you fucking sicken me.. Taking the easy way out. Grow up and take responsibility for your actions...its not like your in middle school your fucking 19 grow up
KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA BITCHHHHHHHHH
- love the girl you wish you were!
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[05 Apr 2008|01:02pm] |
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Dear Boy,
I really don't know what's going on. With you or myself. I just want to sit down and talk to you. I think we should go out for coffee at west end. I think you still have feelings for me, actually, i know you still have feelings for me, you told me. I think you should think about your feelings and decide what you want to do with them. You know that i really like you. You know that I'm going to be okay either way, but i need you to decide. We broke up, and then we saw each other at V-fest and spent the whole night and next day together. The way you talk to me and treat me isn't the way you talk to and treat someone you don't care about. It's the way you treat a girlfriend. Are you scared of commitment? Are you scared of liking someone and getting hurt? Are you scared of losing your identity when you become a 'couple'. I love the person you are and the things you stand for. You inspire me every single day. You make me want to try harder and do better. You make me want to care for you and help you achieve everything you want to achieve. I want to be a part of your life, even if it is just as friends who occasionally go play pool or something dumb like that. I wouln't change you a single bit, I'm not trying to. The only thing i want is a completely honest talk with you, because i know you aren't putting everything on the table, but i feel like you want to. I will make time for you.
Speak to you soon.
love, me.
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[03 Apr 2008|07:47pm] |
Dear "father".
This is the letter that I will hopefully one day have the guts to actually send to you. Now don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for your new home, and your new wife. But why did you have to become even more distant than ever? I'm finally starting to realize all the things that my mom would say about you, are true. When I was little I thought you were amazing, and it's sad because I never gave my mom the credit, when she was the one who raised me, because you were never there. Once I turned 13, and you became more distant, I realized everything was just played out. Your mother likes to tell me that you wanted to "wait" to move until I was able to drive to come see you. Are you kidding me!? You are the one who left town, and hour and a half away, and your expecting me to waste MY gas money? It still doesn't sit right in my head. You only care to see me whenever your family is around to try to show that your a "good father." But if they knew how are relationship really was, because you fake it, they'd realize how much of a dead beat you really are. I mean since we don't have a relationship at all. I know in August I'm starting college and all and I'm becoming independent, so you think it's fine in your head to not see me. I haven't seen you in two months! Every Saturday you make another lousy excuse on why we cant meet up...Oh excuse me...Why I cant drive down to see you, because you have to go shopping for furniture, which is obviously more important than your own daughter. You seriously have NEVER been there. I mean I know there are people out there who don't even have a father, but it hurts to know, that you do, and your his daughter, but your at the bottom of his priority list. Last time I saw you, I had to come because your sisters were coming...You didn't even say one word to me. Only Uncle George was talking to me and joe, he kept telling me why the hell would i want to be an Animal cop, and my goals should be higher than that. Which is fucked up. Since thats my dream job and all. And all they kept talking about was how now you are your new wife are ready for kids. ( FWI I wasn't invited to their wedding, never even met her family in a course of maybe 6 years of them being together ) I'm an only child. And it will feel really weird watching my father from the outside take care of another child. In a way I would be jealous, because i can see all the things your doing for your new wife that you would never do for my mom, so why would you treat her child bad, if you two were to have a kid. These are just some of the thoughts that have been on my mind for the past 2 months since i haven't seen you. I'm pretty sure someone would drop dead if they heard the rest i had to say. You have done a lot of fucked up shit to me and my mother. And you seem so oblivious, and you TRULY think your a perfect father! You seriously think you were a responsible parent! How the hell could you have been! You were never there! your seriously not a parent, just a sperm donor. And it really hurts to say that, it really does, but it's true. it just seems to be bothering me a lot more now, now that i can look back on everything and really understand things now.
You know how they say like father like son...Yah well everyone only sees your father one day out of the entire year, christmas eve. Soon its going to be the same shit for you, because your new family is more important... And i don't think you realize it. And i don't think you ever will.
-Sam
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[01 Apr 2008|09:27pm] |
dear steven,
i never thought that one day you'd actually just cut me out of your life all together. We've always had our ups and downs, but to go that far? You're graduating this year, and even though you're going to a local school i'm sure that ill prob NEVER see you again. What is your deal? I can't act like i dont know because I do, but I just never would have thought that that night would be the last time i'd talk to you face to face. I'm glad you're happy with Maggie, but I definitely don't think she is worth you changing every little bit about yourself. I don't even know you anymore, and it scares me. Whenever I pass you I always want to make the effort to pull you aside, but I'm afraid of your reaction. I've never cared about what one person thought of me, but you've nailed it for sure. I will always care about you no matter what. I can never ever be mad at you no matter how hard I try. I'm sure ill work up the nerve one day to actually clear things up, but until then, i miss you.
love always,
Hannah
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[31 Mar 2008|01:30pm] |
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ani difranco |
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Dear Boyfriend Of A Year:
THANK YOU.
Thank you for making our one year anniversary so special and so sweet!! I cant believe you had the waitress bring out my ring on a plate with dessert! you totally threw me for a loop, I didnt expect that at all! lol.
"i promise to love you forever-ring, if you promise to love me forever"
You kill me. and the card you gave me almost made me cry. almost. Ill re-read it later and cry alone lol...
You are my heart. I know neither of us is perfect, but we love each other bc of that.
I cant wait for you to come over later, Im gonna rock your socks.
Love
Your baby-boo
xoxo
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[30 Mar 2008|11:01am] |
Dear my boyfriends mother...Againn...
After you had your joy humiliating me infront of your family on easter and once again having your son do what you want and not what he wants. I had the joy of taking your son without saying goodbye to you or your family..going back to your house and fucking him on your couch, the one you constantly lay on because your a fat ass. My mother is sick and tired of your bullshit also. She had enough respect to call you and pretend to be nice to you, and tell you to get over whatever grudges you have on me because your the adult, talk to me wednesday night when you see me, and make everything better. You PROMISED my mother you would talk to me. After you havent spoken to me since christmas, only giving me unspoken attitude. Well i go over your god damn house, and you wont even sit at the dinner table to eat with us, and you dont say a god damn word to me.
GO FUCK YOURSELF...My mother went out of her way because she knows how much your hurting me. And you pull even more bullshit! I cant WAIT for the day i take your son and we move in together...and I HOPE YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS.
You'll get what you deserve dont you worry.
love,
the "whore" ;)
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[27 Mar 2008|08:45pm] |
Dear 'best friend'
Thanks for not telling me you're pregnant
Emily
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[24 Mar 2008|05:38pm] |
Dear "friends",
You're really kinda shitty, and I don't know if you can fit the words description.
D_______*I don't know if your on my side, You could be making up tons of shit for your own good, & if thats the case, then I don't want to be "friends" with you anymore. I deserve better.
A_____*I cant believe you would stand me up for him.! I mean its one thing to ask me to go out with you and then say something come up, but don't have me get ready and then just ignore me and act like everything is peachy keen the next day. It's not, and it won't be.
G____*You keep on trying to apologize, but your the one who wanted this friendship over, the one who was and i quote "Never so fucking happy to rid of someone in your whole life" didn't you ever hear of the expression, "don't burn bridges." because you burnt yours with me.
seriously.
if you want to be my friend act like it!!!
I'm so tired of all the bullshit,
I thought I was past all of it,
But i guess it just takes time for those who you thought were true to turn on you.
Thanks for the lesson guys.
Love,
you're "friend"
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[23 Mar 2008|09:59am] |
Dear The Boy Who Can't Commit *
I wish I could be more of an honest person with you. I know you are being completely truthful with me, and that is one of the many reasons I care about you so much. I hate where we are right now. I know it's what you wanted after all- no commitment, a girl to date but not to fall in love with, and no fear of getting hurt. The thing is I've already fallen in love with you, I've already commited myself to you, and I already fear getting hurt by you. I can't do this halfway thing anymore, it's not working for me. I know that you have feelings for me, you've told me several times, but something is holding you back. I'm pretty sure I know what these things are, but I don't know how to change your mind. I don't think I ever could. It's something you have to work on yourself, or you are never going to have a strong relationship. I know if I told you I just wanted to be friends it would hurt you, but I have no choice. I can't compromise my feelings because of yours. I think we should just be friends.
Love,
The Girl Who Needs Commitment
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[22 Mar 2008|03:33pm] |
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kimya dawson. |
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dear current love of my life,
im really sad that you dont think im good enough to be your girlfriend. thats okay i suppose, i cant make you like me as much as i like you. i feel like dumping me over the phone was maybe a little harsh though, i know we havent been seeing each other for a very long time.. but still. i guess its probably a good thing that you never saw me cry.
the thing is though, i dont think its very fair that you tell me not to come on the boat cruise that i was invited to by one of the dj's playing, before you ever told me about it. i know that youre using it as your birthday bash, but i bought you a present and really, the cruise isnt for you. i dont think you should be allowed to tell me where i can and cant be. i would have gone with my friends, i would NOT have stood around making puppy eyes at you, i would have been there to dance, because thats what the cruise is about, djs and dancing. get it?
yes im quite heartbroken that you dumped me, but i can see that youre still an okay person so i dont think it would have been awkward had you 'allowed' me to come aboard.
also, i take issue with the fact that you say that if we leave each other alone for a week then we can be friends after that. the reason i take issue with this is because i want to know what you really think, im not too fussed on the idea of making an idiot of myself trying to be friends with you (only in a weeks time, of course) if you really dont mean it. im also not too fussed on the idea of completely cutting off all contact with you in case you really didnt mean that you wanted to be friends because to be honest, i think we would make fabulous friends and you also need to give me back some tupperware that i put your birthday cake in. okay?
i know that im rambling and im quite sure this whole letter has only made sense in my head, not on paper.
so, in conclusion, in a weeks time i think you should call me up and be completely honest about how you feel, i dont mind if its harsh (my hearts already broken, a little bit more smashing cant do too much more damage) i would just like you to be up front with me.
thankyou.
love,
not the love of your life, apparently.
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[21 Mar 2008|10:32pm] |
Dear Dylan,
this is the letter i won't send. for the past week we've spent a lot of time together, getting to know each other well and i just wanted to say that you're a great guy; i respect how true to yourself you are. i think that you are a unique person and that i just can't get enough of you. i'm really sad that i've left just as we were getting to know each other better, but once you get back, i think that we should hang out and still talk all the time. to be honest, tomorrow morning i'm going to be sad when i wake up and don't smell the fresh florida air and know that i won't be able to eat breakfast with you and the other guys. even though i may not be the most dedicated person there, we both know that i still love the sport almost as much as you do, haha nat. anyways, the point of the letter is to just to tell you that you made my florida experience at the camp soo much more fun, and that i just generally love being with you. i regret not being completely honest with you last night when you asked me if what they said was okay with me, well it was more than okay.. but it didn't sit right because i'm confused still as whether you like me or not. and how i wouldn't tell you my 11:11 wish, because really it was pertaining to you, and i didn't want to make you feel awkward, 'cause i've never been interested in a guy like you before. you fascinate me. anyways, i just wanted to tell you some last feelings before i left from florida.
XOXO nw.
ps. i like you a lot.
---> it's too bad i didn't have the guts to give him this letter, i wrote it and was gonna put it under his pillow last night, but i chickened out and now i'm at home hundreds of thousands miles away.. and he's still there .. but he'll be home in a week :).. and i hope we'll get to hang out/
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[17 Mar 2008|07:15pm] |
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Dear my boyfriends' mother....
LET HIM GROW UP AND MAKE HIS OWN DECISIONS.
IM TIRED OF YOUR JEALOUSY AND COMPLETE IDIOTIC TEMPER TANTRUMS!
..Stop trying to make him do what YOU want...and let him do what makes him happy.
you've got him rapped around your finger so tight it's disgusting.
How do you expect him to move out and start a family when you wont let him.
Just because you hate me...Dont make him choose between you or me.
What your doing is very immature and im on the boarder line of hating you.
I've keep my mouth shut for almost two years.
If you dont stop...im going to explode
....
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[13 Mar 2008|09:05am] |
Dear best friend.
i know that you'll never see this. Chances are your girlfriend will before you becuase she's pyscho and checks up on every single thing you do. You know that's not healthy and you two wont last. Sorry brandon. I dont even care anymore. I don't like you at all right now. I kind of hate you. How dare you do this to me? You wre suppose to be my bestfriend. BEST FRIEND. you were the only person in this fucking city that i trusted, fuck i cared about you more than i cared about my boyfriend. which by the way is partly your fault we didnt work out. Because thanks to you i liked you so much, and being with alex and liking you hurt. Wtf, you tell me you're inlove with me, kiss me and then just stop talking to me. what the fuck is your problem. I dont want to date you. I dont care anymore, i should of listend to erin when she said you'll hurt me. and you know waht you did, and it kills me because i actually thought you would be the only person that wouldnt do this to me. and oh god was i wrong. so fucking wrong. you've hurt me more than alex has. and that's a lot. I trusted you SO much. You don't even understand. I've cried myself to sleep for the past 3 months because of you. happy? happy that i like you brandon? happy that you fucked with my heart and head? hope you are. Thanks. thanks for it all.
you know what sucks, as much as i try to be mad at you i cant because you meant so much to me. I miss you so badly. I miss the old brandon. YOu've changed so much. and i didnt think i would ever say that. I miss hanging out with you all the time, i miss not having to talk to you and you knew something was wrong, or what aws going on. I miss how you could just make me laugh and everything in my lief seemed okay for a ilttle. i miiss how i knew you would always be there for me. I miss telling you everything, i miss you telling me everything, I miss being able to be near you with my hair up and in pj's and no make up and you didnt care, i miss you calling me a mouse, i miss sitting in the car with you with out telling my mom where i was, i miss giving you all my pot just so i could see you, i miss you taking care of me like i was your little sister, i miss you telling me that i deserved more than alex, i miss you texting me and sayijng ily, i mss your hugs so much, i miss holding you hand even though it was wrong, i miss laying in the park with you, i miss you so much.i miss my fucking bestfriend. and it's all your fault. all of this, you kept it going knowing that it would hurt me, you kept telling me things. Then the second your girlfriend tells me to stop talking to you. you stop. you're a fucking pussy whipped bitch. and i hate you so much for it.
You ruined my 2 year relationship, and you ruined our friendship.
fuck it all.
love, your old bestfriend.
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[11 Mar 2008|06:42pm] |
Dear Former Self,
I don't understand you just as much as I don't understand my present self, or even my future self. I just don't understand how you were so embarrasing, or so naiive, or so goofy. I look back at you and think how weird I was. I laugh at you. I cringe at you. But I love the courage you had. I love that your heart was stronger back then. I love that you had no idea about how to look but you didn't really care all that much. I love that you tried to see the best in people. You weren't cynical back then, Although, yes, you were. Because I remember becoming cynical. I remember the first time I made a cynical comment, or even passed a judgement, and I remember thinking, "Oh no, what's happened there?" I remember feeling kind of disappointed in myself.
I remember laughing so hard all day with Amy Wilson, and then crying all night long at my Dad's house. I remember texting Alice for ages, we wasted so much credit talking, when I could have just walked around the corner to her house.
When did she and I become best friends? I remember asking her and Abbie if I could sit with them at lunch instead of Helena and Danielle Bond.
Why was I so two-faced to her? That was mean. I know it was back-lash from the way Gina and Liz, and herself had treated you, but what kind of a Christian witness was that? I suppose we both have a view of our memories as a bit bitter and spiteful.
Why did you do so many stupid things? When a lot of the time you knew you would feel bad afterwards.
I remember recently thinking how great it was that I hadn't done anything stupid to get me into trouble and leave me with overwhelming guilt and a sense of impending doom. I like that. But I recalled that thought last friday night when what I said had got the Gentlemen into trouble. But then I realised that I hadn't done anything stupid or bad, they had. And I shouldn't feel bad. I just wondered if I felt that feeling again for a split second because I'm a bit of a gossip monger. I think I am, despite my best efforts to not be invloved in that stuff. Although, when did you get into it, former self? I don't know. I think I'm only just starting to notice the difference between knowing things about other people and things and it being gossip. But maybe it's all gossip? I don't know.
I just wanted to say, even though you were so much more embarrasing, stupid and goofy back then, you're a much more admirable person than I am now.
I've gotta go. I've run out of time.
From your present/future self, which ever makes more sense.
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[09 Mar 2008|04:41pm] |
Dear Boyfriend of Almost a Year:
I understand you've had a shitty weekend, but all I wanted to do was cheer you up.
I dont appreciate you taking your shit out on me, and sleeping all day at my house on your one day off isnt "spending time together".
Furthermore when you got pissed off and started driving like a raging lunatic, it scared the hell out of me. You endangered my life because you lost control of your emotion, and over fucking nothing at all.
When you said "well going snow mobiling woulda been so much more fun than this" you should have. Like I told you to fucking hours ago, instead of pouting and sleeping on my bed so as to "avoid being mad and yelling at somebody". GROW UP. Youre an adult, control your emotions and get over your trivial bullshit. Youre still alive, everyone you love is alive. Have some appreciation.
I did nothing to deserve this, and you throw some shit in my face like "yeah well you didnt have to shovel out your car 3 times! or misplace your keys! like your life is so fucking easy isnt it?! its so perfect"
Like wow. WOW. Get a grip.
I miss the boy you used to be.......
Love: The girl you said was the love of your life...
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[08 Mar 2008|10:03pm] |
Dear God,
Please give me but an ounce of self worth. Give me a reason to live again.
I miss you. I miss me. I miss smiling and laughing.
I love you, but this is too hard.
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[01 Mar 2008|10:59pm] |
Dear 'friend',
You have absolutely no reason to stop talking to me, it's so petty and childish and in the end your the one that's lost a good friend. Who stood by you when you had the abortion? Who stood by you when you started dating that jerk? And now he's almost all you've got left.
I hope your both very happy together.
Dear boy,
You never consider what I want to do. It's always about what you want. What you want to do on the weekend. Your plans for the future. You never think about me and the fact that I want to do things as well. Everything is not about you. I may not have a lot of friends but the couple that do call me every now and again and ask us to do something I want you to want to go and to make an effort to do things that make me happy.
I do little things all the time that show you that I care. Even if it's just a little note to say I love you. But you have stopped showing me that you care, you never do the little things anymore. One of the main reasons I loved being with you was because you made me feel special and you made me feel loved, but that's all stopped. And you wonder why I'm getting so annoyed with everything. Please stop and think, before it's too late.
Dear life,
Why are you screwing me over right now? What did I do? Is it Karma? I don't remember doing anything that might warrant every thing in my life falling apart. Work, friends, family and boy are all falling away and slowly slipping out of my hands. I don't know how to stop it. I'm losing everything I've worked so hard to keep and I don't feel like there's anything I can do about it.
Dear me,
Stop looking at everything so negatively, maybe if you looked at the positives things might pick up.
Love, Me.
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[24 Feb 2008|12:28pm] |
Dear Mind,
If you could, I would really appreciate it if you could just slow down a little bit. Just take a break for a minute. Just stop analyzing every little thing, it just makes it unattainable. Stop trying to make everything make sense and everything seem so meaningful, because it isnt. Life isnt all meaningful and you should know that. Just stop being so fucking smart. I wish you were still ignorant sometimes, because at least then I would fit in. I know that I should be able to control you, but thats easier said then done. So just please stop. I need you to just stop.
Love,
me.
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[22 Feb 2008|03:15pm] |
dear boy *
I love spending time with you. I love kissing you. I love your eyes, your lips, your voice. I love your sense of humor and your lame jokes. I love listening to your stories and I love reassuring you about your insecurities. I love everything about you. I've never been this crazy about some one before. You are an amazing person. As you said, "We are amazing together." I know that we both aren't ready for a serious relationship, but I think about you all the time. I really hope that this will work between us.
Dear supposed best friend,
I'm over this. Since when do you not know how to pick up your phone and call me? Since you went to college, I have been the one trying to make this friendship last. You just dont care about anyone back at home anymore. I hope you are happy with your new friends and boyfriend, and good luck with everything. Just don't come back this summer, and expect everything to be the same.
Dear best friend-
You are amazing. You are the best friend I've ever had... I didn't think that was possible. I never thought I'd find some one who completely understands me and who is always there no matter what. Thank you. You are the Best. I truly mean that.
Love,
me
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[19 Feb 2008|03:32pm] |
Dear significant other,
you make me feel like shit, like complete horrible shit.
when did we become the worst couple ever?
why cant things be the way they were.......
love, my breaking heart.
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