| I'm so sad. |
[22 Jun 2011|01:47pm] |
I feel like nothing feels right anymore. Kevin's upset, I'm upset. I was in such good spirts until he started to get depressed. Now I'm not sure about anything anymore. He was so excited about our life together. Now everytime we talk its "it's like we're attached at the hip" and "I'm chained to you"
He sure knows how to make a girl feel special. Sorry If I'm in your way. I am around him because I want to be, not because I have to be. Now he feels like he has to be, I suppose he doesn't want to...
That, and he won't stop harping on me about getting friends! Like it's that easy! Presto! I have friends now! They want to hang out with me all the time so I'm not in your way! Sorry I don't have a car yet! Sorry I'm in your way all the time! It's just got me so upset. "You know you really need your own friends, it's healthy" It's like he never wants me around anymore. Maybe he fell out of love with me... who knows. I love him so much, and now he never wants me around.
Well guess what?! I'm gonna make it so I'm never around. Then we'll see how he feels. I'm just gonna leave tonight after he picks me up. I'm gonna walk to the mall or jo-ann fabrics or something. Just leave him. And I'm gonna do it everyday. Not even ask what he wants to do. I'll do everything on my own. I don't give a crap what he wants to do. I'm just gonna be gone all the f*cking time now...
I don't care what I'm doing, as long as I don't have to listen to him complain about me anymore. WHATEVER!
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| Another part of my day. |
[22 Jun 2011|04:32pm] |
It's still bugging me. I can't get this nonsense out of my head. I was looking at houses before and that made me feel a little bit better. I wish I could look at cars, but I have no idea how much money I have.
Kevin hasn't texted me all day. He used to text me all the time. Now he never does, and when I text him I always seem to get one word answers like "yup" and "good". I don't get what I've done wrong to be treated like this all of the sudden. I didn't think I was a bad person.
Whatever, If he wants to go to karaoke tonight, let him. I'm going to stay home. I'll cry lonely self to sleep in my pillow and wait for him to come home. Maybe one day I'll have friends but I'm not going to force it just because he wants me too. That's how you end up with rotten friends. I was looking on the internet for friends before, all the websites seem to be for dating though. I want a friend not a boyfriend lol.
Kevin made an appointment for me to get a tattoo on July 2nd. I'm really excited about that. He just got a new one last night. A 1-up mushroom from mario. It's really cool. now he has one on each shoulder. To tell you the truth I'll kind of miss his blank shoulder. Not that it really matters either way.
Ugh the friend search is really sucking, I hate the freaking internet sometimes!
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